Dear,
About to go back into 5-GULCH after a 6-week break. Iāve been watching and rewatching good movies and reading and rereading good books and letting my mind wander on long walks and doing holiday stuff. Iāve also been working on an essay, uniting bits and pieces of things Iāve been working on over the last few years and trying to weave them together. I donāt really notice that Iām not working a job right now, since I feel busy and Iām tired every night, but I realize itās weird to be unemployed by choice when most people I know are working two or three jobs or raising kids. Iād feel okay saying I was self-employed if I made any money. I donāt make money. Iām not going to school. Iām just hanging out, spending time with Ryan during his off-season, going outside, writing, thinking, and I donāt know if that makes me lazy or unambitious but when I donāt feel guilty I mostly feel fine about it. Iām working. This is work. But eventually Iāll need something else, just to spin my tires against or to have something to tell people and myself.
I read TUMBLEDOWN by Robert Boswell a few years ago and really liked it; itās been coming to mind a lot while Iāve been taking a break from my novel, and Iām planning to read it again soon. Boswell had some great things to say about the revision process in an interview with Tin House:Ā
The linear braināthe bossy, critical side that permits you to operate the coffeemaker, figure out the remote on the DVR, drive across town, and do other undeniably useful thingsādoesnāt like to give up its authority, but it tends to build merely logical or mechanical narratives. The narrative brain slips in whenever the linear brain is distracted or bored, and itās the narrative brain that understands the value of surprise and strangeness and humor. Of course, it also tends to fall in love with its ideas, and thatās when linear brain takes the wheel again. It loves to run down the excesses.
One of the tricky parts about being a writer is this switching back and forth. I think the reason some people end up with writerās block is that they canāt turn off the linear brainās constant evaluations. That sentence, really? Thatās the sentence you want to open with? Would Faulkner like that sentence? What would Katherine Mansfield think of that sentence? Youāve got to turn off that critical voice, give yourself permission to write bad sentences if you need to. You can fix them later.
