evermore
rkcheri:
ļ¹”* āŖ Ā SMS āļø ā Ā WOLVEROME ⫠ ⨯ ⦠š įµ Ā hey love, ??? ⦠š įµ Ā is something wrong? ⦠š įµ Ā did something happen? ⦠š Ė Ā hey, youāre scaring m ā Ā āŖ DELETED ā« įµ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ļ¹”* āŖ Ā CALL š ā Ā WOLVEROME ⫠ ⨯ CONNECTED įµ [ 00:00:01 ]
Ā Ā ārome?ā
he knew that addressing her in such a way would give raise to more questions. there was no jokes of the urgency coming from a place ofĀ āmissing her so much heāll die,ā no guessing of what it is, and he needed that. he needed the tone to be more serious, more cautiousĀ from the get-go or he wouldnāt be able to get through it himself. thereās no possible way she could joke with him or he could hear the smile in her voice and not want to shy away from the truth, from telling her the decision heĀ made and thatās the point he needs to get across the most.Ā it was his mistake, his decision.Ā
[the rest of the world can call it a mistake if they want but heāll never feel guilty,Ā except towards convex,Ā about missing his girlfriend.]Ā
the phone call comes sooner than he expected and heās still sitting on the edge of his old bed, dazed, more than unsettled. he thought the next time heād be coming back would be when they both have some time to steal away, pretending theyāre not together on borrowed time as they lay in bed and just existĀ together. he thought he would still be in convex.Ā
ācandy?āĀ
hearing her voice brings him more relief than he could capture in words, in a melody, in a dance. he could spend his entire life trying to explain what she does to him but nothing will measure up to it, nothing will fully explain how she brings him homeĀ without trying at all. eyes closed, he lets himself enjoy the few seconds before he has to tell her everything. keeping secrets from her wasnāt something he dared to consider. thereās only oneĀ thing he kept from her, for good reason too, and the longer he waits, the more he wonders if it matters as much as they do. thatās why he made this decision, he comes back to that full circle again but he doesnāt know how to make it sound okayĀ to her.Ā
āi missed you.ā holding his face in his free hand, he holds back a sigh, of relief, or panic, of anything and everything but the truth.Ā
āi, uh... i had to leave the group.ā straight-forward. that should do it, right? but he feels a clenching around his heart and he convinces himself itās just the way heās gritting his teeth. his body is tense because heās this close to grinding down his molars. yeah, thatās it.Ā āi- youāre alone, right? fuck, i really didnāt want to say it like that but i-āĀ
i donāt know any other way.Ā
there is no easingĀ into the truth here. itās black and white to him. they already knew he was dating someone somehow, and they had one request of him: give a name.Ā āthey donāt know itās you, i promise they donāt.ā surely they wouldāve said something, right? they wouldnāt be so cruel as to do that, right?Ā
āi-ā how does he shamelessly say he couldnāt lose her without guilting her into stayingĀ with him if she decides itās too risky?Ā āyou can claim to have nothing to do with this, seungah. you can come away from this clean.āĀ












