Top Posts Tagged with #rkjiro

evermore

rkcheri:

﹡* ❪ SMS ☎︎ ┊ WOLVEROME ❫ ⨯ … 💌 ᵎ hey love, ??? … 💌 ᵎ is something wrong? … 💌 ᵎ did something happen? … 💌 ˟ hey, you’re scaring m – ❪ DELETED ❫ ᵎ

﹡* ❪ CALL 📞 ┊ WOLVEROME ❫ ⨯ CONNECTED ᵎ [ 00:00:01 ]

“rome?”

he knew that addressing her in such a way would give raise to more questions. there was no jokes of the urgency coming from a place of “missing her so much he’ll die,” no guessing of what it is, and he needed that. he needed the tone to be more serious, more cautious from the get-go or he wouldn’t be able to get through it himself. there’s no possible way she could joke with him or he could hear the smile in her voice and not want to shy away from the truth, from telling her the decision he made and that’s the point he needs to get across the most. it was his mistake, his decision.

[the rest of the world can call it a mistake if they want but he’ll never feel guilty, except towards convex, about missing his girlfriend.]

the phone call comes sooner than he expected and he’s still sitting on the edge of his old bed, dazed, more than unsettled. he thought the next time he’d be coming back would be when they both have some time to steal away, pretending they’re not together on borrowed time as they lay in bed and just exist together. he thought he would still be in convex.

“candy?”

hearing her voice brings him more relief than he could capture in words, in a melody, in a dance. he could spend his entire life trying to explain what she does to him but nothing will measure up to it, nothing will fully explain how she brings him home without trying at all. eyes closed, he lets himself enjoy the few seconds before he has to tell her everything. keeping secrets from her wasn’t something he dared to consider. there’s only one thing he kept from her, for good reason too, and the longer he waits, the more he wonders if it matters as much as they do. that’s why he made this decision, he comes back to that full circle again but he doesn’t know how to make it sound okay to her.

“i missed you.” holding his face in his free hand, he holds back a sigh, of relief, or panic, of anything and everything but the truth.

“i, uh... i had to leave the group.” straight-forward. that should do it, right? but he feels a clenching around his heart and he convinces himself it’s just the way he’s gritting his teeth. his body is tense because he’s this close to grinding down his molars. yeah, that’s it. “i- you’re alone, right? fuck, i really didn’t want to say it like that but i-”

i don’t know any other way.

there is no easing into the truth here. it’s black and white to him. they already knew he was dating someone somehow, and they had one request of him: give a name. “they don’t know it’s you, i promise they don’t.” surely they would’ve said something, right? they wouldn’t be so cruel as to do that, right?

“i-” how does he shamelessly say he couldn’t lose her without guilting her into staying with him if she decides it’s too risky? “you can claim to have nothing to do with this, seungah. you can come away from this clean.”

#rkcheri #.evermore #rkjiro

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{` — it's a sigh of relief he wishes he could've stifled but it's too late. he's been too late all along but not anymore. he swears it, if not for her, then for himself } Jihyun {` — her name is spoken softly, lowly, an appreciative chuckle for answering the phone } Going home? {` — code for 'you sound tired, go sleep' because it's been only a few seconds and he's worried. it's scary how easily he falls into this pattern with her again }

( the trinket drawn along her wrist clinks, it’s a gentle swing around the slender limb as it ascends, running through messy tendrils, dark hair scattering against the curve of her jaw; nonchalant, a hint of routine, the crescent moon hangs, noticeable, distracting her as she listens to him sigh, listens to her name be spoken so gently, that eyes close – welcome the comfort, whether it was forced or genuinely approached, she doesn’t care; the fact that its there to embrace her in a place without actual guards and walls is enough ) hey … ( fingers retract, drop from her neck, the soft press of fingertips along her cervical calms her, tells her to be patient; to not mess up what little words have been said. it’s been a while she wants to say, but she knows it’s mostly her fault; it wasn’t like she had reached out to him, wasn’t like any of her texts had any form of reaching him when all they’ve seen was her delete button ) yeah, i just got on my bus. are you done at nova already? ( she asks to tell herself something, asks to give herself the smallest resolve; that what she had done hadn’t affected him, that what she did was for the better – that life was going by like normal ( as normal as possible ) )

#*cantbethelasttime:t #romexrk #rkjiro #y:착해 빠졌어 #so many tags i need to stop ..............*#inbox love*

{` — five minutes easily melt into fifty and Jihyun is the only one that can amplify anything so simple to him. "it's a metaphor" he quotes his sister in his mind after she read that damn John Green book and his laugh is curt when he finally presses the call button, palms clammy as he clutches the phone, waiting for that decisive click }

( it’s been hours since she’s touched her phone; numerous messages, a dozen missed calls, several notifications of nameless applications left neglected for months fill the illuminated screen. the last she’s seen of the device is when she had dropped it into her work bag, a zipped up tote filled the half it’s contents with the needed necessities. from start to finish, her day goes by like it usually does, work becoming a blunder of routine and normalcy that begins to feel robotic. it’s only when she’s on her bus ride home does she see the numerous banners that line up her screen, easily discarded by an incoming call. the name, the picture that blares across the large screen, makes her linger, pausing a second before she swipes a finger across the green block ) hello? ( her voice is quiet, the english spoken word is gentle, tired and settled for a silenced setting such as the one she sat in; the bus empty sans for its driver and jihyun )

#msg › outgoing #romexrk #inbox love*#don't u dare bring john green into this !!!!!!*#rkjiro #y:착해 빠졌어 #ignore that tag i just needed to clump this together if its gonna be a thing lolol*#*cantbethelasttime:t

*taken from an aim conversation

date + setting: 210615 1103PM @ rkmin's bday party

jihyun: what the hell, rome. rome: you gave me no choice. jihyun: was she not pretty enough? not interesting? did her nose job look awkward? rome: i don't know. i kinda stopped listening when your name wasn't mentioned anymore. jihyun: it was a date between you and her, of course my name isn't going to be mentioned. rome: i didn't agree to a date with anyone other than you. jihyun: don't worry, i have another friend. she's a lot prettier and she doesn't have an awkward nose job and she's a dancer too so you guys have that in common. rome: does she dance like you? jihyun: no, she dances better. rome: i don't like it already. jihyun: then i'll set you up with my other friend. rome: is it you? jihyun: no. rome: then no. jihyun: she has a great personality. rome: i like yours more. jihyun: she has really nice eyes, they're blue. rome: i don't care if they're rainbow, my favorite color might as well be the exact shade of brown in your eyes because i like the way they liven up when you're excited for little things like going to macca's or finding your favorite cell phone case. i even like the way they dim a little when you don't want to talk about something because that's /you/. jihyun: she can make you happy. rome: i wish i knew what happened to make you think you don't make me happy. jihyun: because i can't. rome: did you even try? jihyun: i just know that i can't, just trust me on that. rome: i can't. because you don't trust me on the fact that you've been making me happy for three years now. jihyun: how are you so sure you're happy? it's not going to last. rome: it lasted with you across the ocean. it lasted years longer than i'm used to with any girl. the only thing making me unhappy is your doubt in me. jihyun: see, i'm already making you unhappy. rome: i knew you'd say that. i can say anything to you jihyun but you're not going to believe me until you like yourself more. i wish you liked yourself the way i did — uh, not completely but you know what i mean. jihyun: i'm saying it because you deserve so much more than just me and i don't understand why you can't see that. rome: and you can't see that you're trying to force me to feel /something/, you've always disliked that. why do it now? jihyun: i'm not forcing you, i'm just suggesting better alternatives. rome: better to who? jihyun: to you, obviously. rome: it's not better to me, you think it is. jihyun: why are you making this so difficult? you say you know me so well so you should know that i'm not a good person, i'm selfish, my relationships don't last and i use people. i'm not the one you want, rome.

#rkjiro #makes an official tag for this kind of stuff ok*#romexrk #this is actually current but i havent done stuff that leads to this yet so ... it might be confusing*#these are notes to myself for future stuff bc im forgetful*#y:착해 빠졌어