#rkdowoon

Finals. A word Eric would usually associate in a negative way with school and the end of the year, but while this certainly was the end of a road it was not loaded with negative emotions; rather those of excitement and anticipation. When he had signed up again his only goal had been to get further than he had last year: never in his wildest imagination had he imagined that he would actually stand here today, hearing the announcement of his victory -- his group’s victory -- and almost all of them having secured a spot in the finals. He was sad about Hyojin, much more than he had anticipated he would be, because after their little talk he had actually come to appreciate the other much more. And he wondered -- was he being one big hypocrite? Had him forcing Hyojin to practice for a different song on top of everything else caused the guy to lose focus on what mattered and face his elimination? Eric couldn’t help but feel at fault.

There was no time to feel sad about what was lost though, for come Friday it was already time to prepare again, this time for not only one but two big performances in the span of one week. It was going to be intense, he already knew that, but fortunately for him Eric was a guy who was ready to give his all as long as it was something he liked doing (had it been studying for an exam he might not have approached it with the same gung-ho attitude).

It was time again to sit down and talk, and while everyone was gathered the coaches came in with a surprise ice cream cake. Eric could feel his love for the Luxe girls rise (those kinds of cakes weren’t exactly cheap were they?) and he supposed Wonwoo hyung wasn’t all that bad either even if he was a bit reserved. The moment they took the first few steps into the room however, it was as though time ran in slow motion: a small awkward hand movement resulted in the cake flying a very smooth path towards the floor, and Eric could do nothing but watch in horror, almost feeling the tears press in the corners of his eyes. Not that he was a big fan of all the calories he was going to take in through it, but this had been a special present, and he had intended to cherish it to the last bite. Now it was just there: ruined.

Disappointment was a very accurate word to describe what he was feeling, but upon looking up at the coaches something seemed off, and soon enough he came to realise why: there was a second cake. They had been pranked. The shock was still so strong in Eric’s body that he couldn’t focus on anything but feeling embarrassed that he almost cried in front of the others over something so stupid. He wasn’t a little kid anymore after all, but that certainly did make him seem like one. But he was also relieved that he would get to accept the offering from Cheri and Ella (and Wonwoo too he supposed) after all, although he wondered if spending so much money on a prank had really been necessary. But that was that, and it was time to sit down and enjoy the cake without thinking too much about his calorie intake.

Suddenly Eric had got an idea and had taken out his phone. “Hey guys! Let’s call Hyo hyung!” he had said enthusiastically, already pressing in the number. It was early -- heck, the guy might even be occupied by any number of things -- but Eric had no such considerations in his mind as he connected the call. “Hyung~!” he called out into the phone that showed the older male’s face, and he tried to fit everyone into the small frame the camera provided. “Look what you’re missing out on!” Perhaps it was cruel, but Eric had no such intentions when he had got the idea -- in fact not even when Hyojin was whining about how he wanted cake too did he realise that he was probably flaunting his luck. Suwoong took a bit of cake and held it out to Hyojin (or rather Eric’s phone) and Eric started cackling loudly until the cake was so close to the screen that it almost hit. “Wah! Don’t kill my phone!” he exclaimed in horror. Their little tomfoolery soon came to an end and it was time to move on to more serious matters.

As it had been the week before quite a few song titles had been tossed out into suggestion and while they had pretty quickly settled on their Royal performance, their Sphere one ended up in split opinions between two songs. A consultation with the coaches -- “have you considered a girl group song maybe?”, “I was praised for my feminine movements back in my own performance.”, “I’d like to suggest She’z!” -- had led to them taking the discussion a whole other way, perhaps also out of consideration for Heejin, the sole girl on the team. Honestly Eric preferred it this way. He was after all a girl group enthusiast by heart, and while he certainly had got to show a lot more masculine charms this time around, he definitely still appreciated the more graceful movements. They just made him feel more in his element.

Songs decided upon they already faced their next problem: All Night was a choreography that required strong leg muscles, and while Eric himself didn’t have any particular problems (as a gymnast he was surprisingly muscular) the same didn’t apply for all of them. He wanted to whine about it, say that he could already pull it off just fine, but since it had been Ella who said that they needed to work on their glutes he wasn’t about to disregard her, and instead figuratively wagged his tail like a little puppy as he (more or less) happily joined the others in their squatting exercises.

Coming in the next day Eric never realised that his heart would jump out of his chest first thing in the morning until he walked into the room and was met with a loud “boo” that sent him shrieking and retreating to the other end of the room. “Don’t do that!” he whined and hit Suwoong’s chest a couple of times with light fists, but was pulled in to join the surprise lineup after they managed to calm him down again. The idea was fun enough as long as it wasn’t directed at him Eric supposed, and once his heart had settled he also supposed that it had been a bit fun. Just a bit though.

Soon came the second round of the jumpscare and the moment they jumped out Cheri was sent to the floor in shock much like Eric himself had been. Immediately he felt bad (he should have seen this kind of reaction come and opposed it shouldn’t he?) and he was going to rush to Ella’s side to comfort her and apologise, but Kyungsoo was faster. Eric stood behind watching the older crouch down by her and in his silent mind he cursed him for taking advantage of a vulnerable girl (not minding the fact that he had fully intended to do so himself). Curse you, ghost hyung. Curse you.

Training resumed as normal after their little mishap and continued long into the evening and started early the next day. Breaks were taken at irregular intervals whenever people felt like them, and it was after one such that Eric noticed Kyungsoo behaving suspiciously. Perhaps it was just in his mind, but something about the guy’s aura screamed that he was up to something, and naturally the young teen got the brilliant idea that he had to see what it was. Almost as if in a spy movie Eric followed close behind, scooting from one light pole to the next, hiding conspicuously behind trees and light poles until they eventually reached their destination. Eric firmly believed that he had to be some kind of genius at tailing people: perhaps he should become a detective instead of an idol?

Trying to mingle in with the crowd, his eyes were locked on the older male as he set himself up and began his little street performance. Eric watched in awe throughout the entire thing and found himself with more respect for Kyungsoo who was really trying his best to succeed in this whole thing. Even if he had completely murdered Toxic and everything Britney Spears stood for, Eric supposed that the older wasn’t all that bad after all. He cheered vigorously as the performance came to a close and hurried away before the older could come to see him. The rest of the day he spent looking at Kyungsoo with a cocky smile whenever he thought the other wasn’t looking.

It was Tuesday when Kyungsoo came into the room after excusing himself early the previous day and presented them all with small snacks and sticky notes of encouragement and yet again Eric felt bad that he had taken up so much of Hyojin’s time that could have been spent on practicing instead. He felt awful for how upset he had been with the older boy last week: after all he must have felt just as guilty as Eric did now after everything that happened. But there was nothing to do than put everything behind him and just wait for Hyojin to join him later (he had to or Eric would be upset).

Later in the evening Suwoong suggested that they pranked the coaches again to which Eric immediately opposed. “Didn’t you see how shocked they were last time?!” he had reminded the rest, hands in his sides and a frown on his face. “I swear Cheri noona and Ella noona looked like they were about to pass out! I’m gonna tell them if you pull anything like last time.” Immediately Suwoong tried to assure him that this time it was a harmless prank, and although skeptical at first, Eric eventually agreed to join in when he heard about the details: he had to admit it sounded kind of fun. And thus they spent a bit practicing for this new little prank -- if nothing else at least their enthusiasm was near the top.

When everyone came in the next day they excitedly announced that they had changed their second song choice -- they had found one that fit Sphere’s playful and upbeat image much better -- after which Eric took out his otamatone and played the beginning notes of PPAP. Heejin and Kyungsoo were singing sensually and himself and Suwoong were dancing with all their might (at least as best he could while playing the instrument) and they tried their best to hold a serious expression, but eventually cracked up in laughter upon seeing the disbelief and horror radiating from their coaches. Though his own laughter Eric apologised and promised that he would spend the last time practicing extra hard to make up for tricking them again.

Come Friday the mood felt incredibly weird compared to the high spirits that had driven them all throughout the week: probably because everyone knew this was the end of the road and that tomorrow they would know the results of their upcoming fate. It was kind of overwhelming to the young boy and he spent most of the day in a crestfallen manner that was uncharacteristic to his otherwise high spirits. When they were done with their last training together (although hopefully only for now) Eric stood a bit and pulled at the hem of his shirt before he opened up his arms. “Can we... do a group hug?” he asked, and not opposing him the others accepted his embrace. Immediately Eric could feel the tears form in his eyes and soon he buried his face in someone’s shoulder (he wasn’t entirely sure who in the mass of bodies and with his own emotional status) as he started hiccuping to hold back the tears.

When asked what was wrong he sniffled and looked up at the others. It was probably stupid reasons, but he couldn’t help getting so emotional now that it was finally nearing the end and that they were standing here together. “It’s just...” he began in between sobs. “I never expected to get this far. My goal was really just to get further than last year, but here we are and it’s the finals! And I get to represent Royal and everything, it’s my dream company and I’m just... I’m just so happy.” The one who came to cheer him up was, much to his surprise, Kyungsoo. The analogy was kind of macabre, but he supposed it did the job and he ended up cracking into a laughter in between his tears. “Thank you ghost hyung-- I mean Kyungsoo hyung. Really, thank you. Let’s smash it tomorrow!” Suwoong had pushed his cousin aside and assured Eric that his tears were all fine to which the young teen had given a firm nod and a big smile in between the sobs.

And thus, before he even knew it, Saturday had come. The past week had gone by so fast that Eric could only wonder where it had gone. Had they done enough? Could they have done more? Or something different? Were their song choices okay? There were so many questions running around his head and so many concerns that he wasn’t used to. Eric was very much a ‘just get it over and done with and then regret afterwards’ type, but now the fate of three other people was also dependent on how well he did so it put a whole other stress on him that he wasn’t used to. Throughout the performances he could barely focus, just sitting to himself and running everything over in his mind. It felt like time went far too fast when it was time for their first performance. Giving a deep exhale Eric jumped a bit on the spot to loosen his body and shot a firm nod to his team mates to let them know that he was ready.

“Hello, we are Royal Flush!” they introduced themselves when standing upon the stage, and from Kyungsoo to Suwoong and Heejin everyone addressed themselves as respectively the ace, king and queen of hearts until it was Eric’s turn. “And I’m the jack of hearts, ya boy Eric in the house!” Finishing off the introduction they got into position. He had to admit he was really impressed with what they could do with stage decorations this time. Not only did they have the big screen that was going to play the video of blowing flower petals throughout their performance, they also had the standing and hanging plants as decorations.They definitely intended to put on an impressive show, that much was for sure.

Starting on the floor the first beats of All Night sounded within the set and soon after their tough glutes training was put to use as they had to rise up. For a nice change Eric felt grateful to Ella and Cheri for drilling them through those squats so religiously, for he didn’t feel any issues getting up at all. Kyungsoo had started them off followed by Kyungsoo and Heejin and for a bit it was only the three of them singing. When it was time for the chorus they had decided to drop the spinning jump from the original choreography mainly to put focus on the difficult floor parts and the practice for them out of consideration of their non-dancers. Straight after the chorus came Eric’s part.

밤새 전화하자 한날 고민하다 부지런하지 못한 날 좀 일어나라고 전화해준 너라 마지못해 통화하다 내가 live it up, live it up 벌써 time to pick it up, pick it up woo Ooh 우리 빼고 일어나는 시간이야 다시 한번 good morning

도통 모르겠어 내가 맞는지 솔직히 나는 관심이 없어라고 했던 것들은 다 거짓이야 뭐긴 eh 널 찾고 있는 거지 습관처럼 내 손이 기억해 너의 전화번호

Much like last week Eric was in charge of rapping as the only one in the group who actually even remotely knew how to rap. He wasn’t even that good a singer in the first place so it wasn’t like it bothered him too much that he didn’t get to show (and quite possibly butcher) high notes and fancy vocal techniques, but instead could show the versatility he possessed. And in some way he supposed that even though he only had the rap parts for this song, he still had more parts overall than the rest of them, purely because he took over the rap for two original members. It was hard as he was the only one who knew how to rap both in the group and amongst the coaches so he was very much on his own in his practice. But taking inspiration from real rappers, he had practiced while biting a pen to practice his diction.

오늘은 무슨 일 있었어 그래서 어떻게 했었어 그래서 그렇게 했었어 그 순간 말이 끊기더니

시간 날 때 전화해 어디 갈 때 전화해 자기 전에 전화해 일어나서 전화해 내 통화 기록 보면 너로 꽉 차있지만 그래도 니 목소리 듣고 얘기하고 싶었어

Immediately after his rap Heejin followed up with a high note and walked across the stage where Suwoong was waiting for her. Together they did the killing part -- although it would have been simpler to follow the original choreography and have Suwoong pick up Eric, the youngest member of the group had insisted that their king and queen did it this time considering himself and Kyungsoo had done the killing part last week. It was only fair to switch things up a bit and let everyone have a chance to shine.

Soon the song came to an end and Eric was sitting with his back against Suwoong looking for the camera that filmed them -- look for the red light, Wonwoo had told him -- and gave a wink once he found it. It was a serious performance, so he had to hold back the big smile that threatened to make its way upon his face. There would be plenty of time for that later on. Now that the first performance was over and he had been eased a bit into the whole thing, Eric felt himself calm down quite a bit. This was no different from every other time and he simply had to enjoy it all the same as he had every other time. He even had time to pay attention to the other performances this time instead of just sitting to himself and not being able to look past his own nose out of nerves.

It felt like no time at all had passed until it was their time again and for the second time that evening team Royal made it onto the stage this time after undergoing a wardrobe change. Their pastel yellow clothes had been carefully selected by Heejin and Suwoong keeping Sphere’s colour scheme in mind and it was honestly kind of fun to see the dark and mysterious Do Kyungsoo donning an outfit with such a cutesy feeling to it. Yet again they introduced themselves as Royal Flush upon making it onto the stage and this time Suwoong started explaining how this song was something they had picked for the audience as a thanks for supporting them throughout everything.

Beginning the cutesy song and dance Eric felt entirely in his element as he knew nothing better than swinging his hips in pretty girl group movements. On the internet he had always received quite a few nasty comments when uploading his covers, but that had never stopped him -- why should he stop doing something he enjoyed just because he didn’t conform with someone’s idea of masculinity? No, it was much more fun to just do as he pleased: and the good comments were also enough to make up for it so it was okay in the end.

유난히 지치고 길었었던 하루에 내 편은 하나도 없죠

너 하나 너만 내 옆에 있어주면 아무것도 필요 없던 그날을

To make matters even better, this song was fully vocal. Admittedly Eric had neglected his singing practice in favour of being more up to par with his rapping for the sake of the team, but it wasn’t like he was a bad singer in the first place. Perhaps he could have done with practicing some more, but done was done and furthermore they had made sure that all the technically difficult parts actually went to people who could pull them off. Meanwhile Eric’s purpose was to shine through as a triple threat, something he didn’t get to do properly back in the contest hosted by TRC. He still regretted that. Had he known that other companies would be signing people too, he would have done much more than just participate for the sake of participating. This was his time to turn everything around and do everything he possibly could and in his favourite genre nevertheless.

믿을 수가 없어 한참 지나버린 우리 얘기

When he had made the lyrics distribution he had tried to take everyone’s strength into consideration while at the same time paying attention to making sure everyone got to shine equally. In All Night he would have preferred at least some vocal lines too, but the rap parts had given him so many lines that he would completely overtake the song if he did any more. He didn’t want to make it seem like ‘Sohn Youngjae and company’ either. This was their stage all together, and he had wanted to show it off as such.

너 하나 너만 나를 믿어 준다면 세상 가장 힘이 됐던 그대가 날

The second chorus came about and they performed the characteristic hand movements again. Eric was mouthing along to the ‘L.O.V.E LUV’ parts without even realising it. This moment was everything he craved for. Standing on a stage with people he cared for while fans were cheering from down below. He really wanted this he realised, and not just as an extension of Dowoon’s dream, but because he himself, Eric Sohn, wanted to be an idol. That realisation almost made him cry again, but he bit down on his lip to not burst out into tears through the performance. Instead he swiped the emotions away with a bright and heartfelt smile. He really was his own person wasn’t he? With his own free will, his own dreams and his own purpose in life.

Harmonising with Suwoong in the bridge it was almost time for the end of the performance and after Heejin threw her flower and the last chorus hit, the older male yelled to the audience and urged them to do the dance moves alongside the team on the stage. Even if they didn’t know the song and dance beforehand, the move was so simple  that anyone should be able to keep up with it. That was also something they had taken into account when picking songs -- All Night was a tough choreography so they wanted something lighter and easier for the second or they were just going to burn themselves out. It was better to do one advanced and one simple dance right than attempt and botcher two advanced ones.

믿을 수가 없어 한참 지나버린 우리 얘기

With his last line and the rest of the team joining in halfway through they brought an end to this year’s MGA performances all together. Eric’s expression was bright and he hoped that he radiated how much he really enjoyed this for there was no lie to those emotions. In a sense it was kind of bittersweet, because no matter what the result was going to be from here on out, there was no denying the fact that he wouldn’t be standing on a stage this big for a long while. But there was nothing to do than indulge in the moment and enjoy what he had got throughout the show. Especially for the sake of his friends who didn’t make it this far.