#rizak

“Does it ever get tired?” Rizak panted as they ducked into an alley to catch their breath.

“Once it knows you can see it. It won’t stop until you’re dead,” Von replied between breaths. 

“This sucks.”

“You’re the one who stared at it until it saw you.”

“How was I supposed to know? I thought it was a movie!”

“A movie? And what, you’re the protagonist?” Von snorted. He expected a snarky comeback, but the other man smiled. 

“If I’m the main character, does that mean you’re my love interest?”

Von rolled his eyes and did his best not to blush. This wasn’t the time. Besides, he kind of didn’t believe the guy, but he wasn’t going to argue about it right now. 

“We keep going this way, we’ll meet up with Jay. Then he can kick its ass,” he said instead. 

“And why can’t you do that?”

“I dunno. Why can’t you?”

“Because I don’t know what’s going on?? The hell is that thing anyways?!”

Von opened his mouth to reply, but the creature following them hissed loudly. He froze instead, and Rizak grabbed him and pushed him against the wall of the alley. Von flattened himself as much as he could and Rizak did the same. The other man peeked out and watched for the creature. Von held his breath and waited for the all clear, and sighed in relief when Rizak nodded. 

“We need to go,” Rizak whispered, “which way?”

“That way—“ Von pointed to the direction but Rizak quickly grabbed that hand and pulled him away from the mouth of the alley. Von was about to ask why until he saw the creature there. 

“Run! Run!!”

Von didn’t need to be told twice. He ran after Rizak as fast as he could. The two of them rounded a few corners and made it out to the street again. Von took the lead then, as he was familiar with the streets, and Rizak was right beside him. 

“Von!!!” he heard someone familiar call for him and almost cried from relief. 

“Jay!!” He yelled back and ran towards the man, Rizak still beside him. The two of them sprinted past Jay as he charged at the creature then slowed down to a stop. 

“That’s Jay?” Rizak asked between breaths. Von nodded and watched the fight. And it wasn’t until his breathing calmed down that he realized—

Rizak had never let go of his hand.

-/-/-/-

"We need to run," Von whispered, "if we stay here, it'll find us."

Rizak looked down to his hurt leg. He couldn't run. They both knew that. But the black creature--the negativo, he reminded himself--was getting closer. It was looking for them. Hunting them. It didn't like being seen, apparently, and Rizak didn't know that. If it wasn't for Von, he would have been dead by now.

The two of them scanned their surroundings. There was a door nearby. They just needed to time it right so they could both make it. 

A hiss. Right above his head. Rizak froze and held his breath. It was right above him. All that was between them was a look down. 

But it didn't look down. It moved away. Rizak slowly moved his good leg below him. He couldn't run, but if he got a good kick off then he'd hopefully have a good enough head start to make it to safety. He moved his bad leg into position and held his cane tightly. Once he was ready, he nodded at Von, who caught his eye and went back to watching the negativo move behind him.

Then Von nodded. Rizak kicked off his hiding spot and landed with the cane and his good leg. He was well practiced with moving with his cane, but he was slow. Even at his fastest, he was slow. But his kick off helped him, and he went as fast as he could, and he made it through the door right after Von did. 

But the negativo was right behind him. It was loud and angry and Rizak didn't realize how close it was until he threw himself into the room. Von slammed the door shut and threw himself against it. Rizak stood up as fast as he could and did the same.

"What now?" He asked between the negativo's slams against the door. "It won't hold!"

"I don't know!" Von sounded panicked, "Jay'll be here soon!! We just have to hold on!"

"The door won't hold!"

"It has to!!"

Rizak pressed himself harder against the door. It had to hold. It had to.

-x-x-x-x-

Cahya parked the motorcycle then took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He hadn't been back in ages and he didn't know what to expect. He knew he wanted to do this, however, so he turned off his bike and hopped off. He put his helmet on the seat, ran a hand through his hair, then went up to the door.

One, two, three knocks. That was enough. His ears strained to hear any sound from the other side while he waited, and pretty soon, he heard his father's cane against the floor.

So. He was home. That was good.

"Who is it?" his father asked from behind the door.

Cahya swallowed the lump in his throat and stood straighter. "It's me, dad. Cahya."

There was no reply, but the door quickly opened. Rizak's wore his usual stoic expression, but he looked a lot older than Cahya remembered, and he suddenly wondered how many years it had been since he had last seen his father.

"H-hi," he said timidly, "um...can I come in?"

Rizak nodded and moved aside. Cahya stepped inside and waited for his father to close the door. The two of them walked to the living room together and sat down across from each other.

"So, what do you want?" Rizak asked. 

"Nothing." Cahya mentally sighed. His father always went straight to the point. "I just...wanted to see how you're doing, that's all."

Rizak arched an eyebrow and Cahya looked away and scratched the back of his neck. There was a moment of silence before Rizak spoke again.

"I haven't seen you in years." He didn't add anything else, and Cahya could already feel his stress levels rising. It sounded so accusatory. I haven't seen you in years, so that can't be it. You wouldn't come by if you didn't need me to fix one of your messes.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down and looked back at his dad. "I really did just want to see how you're doing. I...." 

He looked around the room and saw the family portrait they had in the living room. The photograph was the three of them together, his mom, his dad, and him. He was an angry teenager at the time. He could see it in his body language in the picture.

"...I was...a little shit, growing up. I...gave you guys a really hard time." He smiled sadly at the portrait. "I made Mom cry a lot."

"More times than I could count," his father replied. Cahya automatically gave him a flat, unimpressed look. An I know that look. Rizak arched an eyebrow at him, a challenge. Cahya fell for it.

"Because you never made Mom cry?" He asked sardonically then immediately regretted it. This wasn't what he came here for. He didn't want to start a fight.

There was a tense moment between them, where Cahya was sure his father was silently judging him. It broke when his father replied. 

"Once," he said softly, "and I never did it again." Unlike you.

"You made mom cry?" A grin spread on Cahya's face. "I don't remember ever seeing that."

"It was before you were born," Rizak replied in an even tone, "so wipe that that smug look off of your face."

Cahya pouted in disappointment then sighed and scratched the back of his neck again. 

"Look, dad, I... If mom ever saw us like this, she... would probably cry again. I." A sigh. "I was a little shit back then. And after she was gone, I got worse. I know I did. And then I left. And... I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

Cahya kept his eyes on his lap while he waited for his father's reply. It took a while, but when Rizak spoke next, his voice was softer.

"It was for the best. We didn't have the best relationship, and you had a romantic partner you were interested in taking the next step with."

"Heh, yeah..." Cahya smiled sadly.

"How is Gregory nowadays?"

"He's still the same Gregory you remember. Just a little overworked recently."

"I hope you two are still spending plenty of time with each other."

"We are, don't worry. Our dynamic shifts a little from case to case, but it's pretty stable."

"Is that why you're here?" Rizak asked after a moment. "To make amends before taking the next step in your relationship?"

"Wh--DAD!!!" Cahya's face turned bright red. It was Rizak's turn to be smug. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!"

"So you're not planning to propose to Gregory any time soon?"

"I AM--"

"--Thought so--"

"--BUT NOT YET!!!"

"The sooner the better, Cahya," Rizak's smile melted away to a soft frown. His father looked towards the portrait. "We never have as much time as we think we do."

Cahya looked at the portrait as well and sighed sadly. "I saw a picture of mom recently. She was smiling and we were both too busy being mad at each other to pay attention to her. But she was just between us, hanging onto our arms."

"She always tried to connect us. To keep us together."

"Yeah, I think she had to. As soon as she was gone, we fell apart." 

They both fell silent, eyes on the portrait. 

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Would it be alright to come visit you?"

"Would you want to?"

"Yeah, I want to. I want to try again. To be a good son."

Rizak didn't reply. He got up and moved to sit beside Cahya.

"You have always been a good son." He placed a hand on Cahya's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Growing up, you were often misguided, and I was always worried about you. But you grew up to be a wonderful man."

"Dad..."

"I know I don't say it often, but I'm proud of you."

"Dad." Cahya's eyes filled with tears. He leaned forward and hugged his father tightly. "I love you, Dad."

His father hugged him back. "I love you too, Cahya." 

They stayed in their tight for a few moments before they broke apart.

"How does dinner over here every once in a while sound?" Cahya asked. "I can bring dinner with me."

"No fast food," Rizak replied, "I can't handle it at this age."

"That's okay. I can bring food from home."

"Bring Gregory with you sometime."

"Sure. He'd love that."

Rizak was silent for a moment. "I believe this is the first time you've ever agreed to my terms so quickly."

"Times change, Dad." 

"They do. They really do," Rizak smiled. "Now, would you like some tea?"

"Yeah, it's freezing outside."

"I know." Rizak got up and Cahya followed suit. The two of them chatted in the kitchen while they made tea. It was awkward and filled with pauses, but it was progress. 

It was cold, but he wasn’t cold. 

Cahya walked through the endless expanse of snow that didn’t behave like snow. For one, it didn’t melt into his clothes. He had been walking for a while, but he was still dry. 

For another, he sometimes didn’t sink into his steps.

There were stretches of miles where he could just walk on top of the snow. He wouldn’t sink into it at all, which eliminated the idea of it being a rocky or an outcropping. It was just flat land. Endless flat land.

How long has he been walking?

How far has he traveled?

He didn’t know. It felt like a lot and nothing at the same time.

The cottage in the distance was sudden. It wasn’t on the horizon at all, just suddenly in the distance. Nonetheless, it was something new, and Cahya headed right for it.

It took him a while, but he managed to get there. He could have sworn that the cottage moved a few times, but he reached it in the end. He knocked on the door and waited, but there was no reply. So he knocked again, and again, no reply. He tried to open the door and it was thankfully unlocked. So he pushed it open and stepped inside.

It was unbearably warm inside. He quickly looked through the house and found it empty. It was obviously lived in, however, so he headed back to the door. He took off his snowshoes by it, then turned to the coat rack to take off his scarf and jacket.

“If you get too comfortable, then you won’t be able to go back to the other side, Cahya.” The voice was familiar and unfamiliar, and it knew his name.

Cahya whirled around in surprise. There was a man sitting on the table. A man he knew.

“Dad....” He didn’t know what to say in his shock. His father was long dead, and he didn’t look anything like how he remembered him.

"What? No hello for your old man?" Rizak--or the man that looked like Rizak--teased. Teased. He put his drink down and stood up. "Now I don't know if you even want a hug."

"Y-you're dead," Cahya said in surprise.

"Astute observation, son." The man laughed while he walked over. This was nothing like him.

"You can't be my dad." Cahya stepped away from the man.

"Why? I act too different? Look too different?" The man's smile was teasing. Cahya couldn't get over it. "Amazing what being dead does to your sense of self."

"I'm not dead," Cahya retorted.

"You're not. Not yet." Rizak replied. His smile was gone and his voice got more serious. There was a frown on his face and--ah, there was the expression his dad constantly wore. "It's why I told you to keep your clothes on. You stay in here and you will be.”

"I don't understand."

"How did you get here, Cahya?"

"I was walking in the snow...."

"From where? For how long?"

Cahya stayed quiet while he tried to think. When did he and Gregory even get to this snowland-- where was Gregory? His eyes widened in panic and he quickly put his scarf back around his neck. He sat down on the ground and proceeded to put his shoes on as fast as he could.

"Wow, you figure out you're dying and you suddenly have no time for me?" Rizak laughed. "Should I be hurt?"

"I have--I have to go. Greg’s out there--"

"--Greg's safe, Cahya." Rizak sat down beside him. "If he wasn't, he'd be here too."

Cahya looked up from his shoes. "But--"

"He's safe." Rizak put his hand on Cahya's shoulder and gave him a gentle smile. "You should definitely go back to him, though."

"Dad..." Cahya looked back to his shoes and finished putting them on. He stood up, but his eyes stayed on the floor. He had always had so much to tell his dad, but he never thought they'd be here face to face--if this was even his dad.

"I'm sorry. For everything," he said in the end, "I was a little shit."

"Yeah, you kinda were!" His dad laughed and stood up. Cahya glared impudently at him while he did so. 

"But, so was I. Well, a bigger shit." There was the teasing smile again, but it was quickly replaced with the familiar serious frown. "The war messed me up, Cahya. I dealt with it the best I could, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't a good enough parent for you, and for that, I'm sorry."

Cahya had a hard time swallowing the lump in his throat. Rizak opened his arms, silently asking for a hug, and Cahya didn't hesitate. He hugged his father tightly and buried his face in his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he sobbed, "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too." Rizak hugged back and stroked Cahya's hair gently. "You grew you to be amazing, Cahya. I'm proud of you."

It took Cahya a few minutes to compose himself enough to pull away. But before either of them could say anything, the walls of the cottage shook and a loud noise resounded off of them. Rizak looked around and sighed deeply.

"What's going on?" Cahya asked.

"It's time for you to go," Rizak answered with a sad smile. "Take care of your mother for me. And be good to Greg, you hear me?"

"Y-yeah. You take care too."

"Don't worry about me. I'm dead." Rizak's smile was flimsy and pained. "Now go."

Rizak gave him a small shove towards the door. Cahya stared a moment longer at him before he turned around and headed to the door. He opened it then turned around to say goodbye, but Rizak shoved him out the door before he could say anything. He stumbled into the snow and fell face first. Then...fell into the snow, then under it...

Then he woke up.

A loud, shuddering, raspy breath escaped him. He was wet and freezing. His face felt burnt. He was so tired.... He forced himself to sit up, to look around. There was something overhead, large and loud and coming closer. He heard people's voices. That was right...the avalanche....

People were suddenly around him. They dug the rest of him out and put him on a stretcher. They talked to him, but he barely understood them. He worried for Gregory, but somehow knew that his boyfriend was alright.

...That was what his dad said...and he trusted him....

Jett couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t believe it.

Did Rizak just say that? Did he just say that? Did he just do that?!

Jett wanted to scream.

He put his hands under the running water again and stared at them while his sleeves got soaked. He took a shaky breath and washed his face again. And again. And again.

He couldn’t believe that just happened.

The door to the bathroom opened and Jett glanced to it. He recognized his friend and went back to washing his face. He still couldn’t believe that just happened. Just. What. How. Why.

He was such an idiot.

“Hey, you okay?” His friend asked. The laughter in his voice was audible and Jett blushed harder and mentally screamed. He washed his face one more time before he spoke.

“Did...Rizak just tell me he loved me?”

“Yeah,” his friend replied, ready to burst into laughter.

“In the middle of the school dance.”

“In the middle of an audience,” his friend corrected.

“With the mic.”

“Yeah. Because he’s prom king.”

“And I just...finger gunned and walked away.”

“Yeah!” His friend burst into laughter. “You finger gunned and walked away!!”

Jett buried his face in his hands and keened. He couldn’t believe that just happened. Rizak had completely ignored the prom queen to talk directly to Jett in the crowd and confess to him and he had just finger gunned and walked away.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” he finally said. His friend hadn’t stopped laughing yet and he almost wanted to punch him. The only thing that kept him reigned in was that his friend had come in to check on him, even if he was doing a lousy job of it.

The door to the bathroom swung open again and both of the occupants looked towards it. Jett felt his heart drop to his stomach when he saw Rizak standing there. His friends laughter immediately stopped and he sidled behind Rizak then slunk off. Neither Jett nor Rizak cared too much, however, because they were busy staring at each other.

Jett hadn’t thought he was going to die on the spot since their first few dates. He was definitely going to die right now though.

“You okay?” Rizak asked, speaking first.

“Uh.” Jett couldn’t imagine how he could be okay. He was red in the face and his shirt and jacket collars and sleeves were soaked. The water was still running in the sink in front of him. He had also ruined his hair from how hard he tugged it earlier. “I’m. Alive?”

Rizak burst into laughter and let go of the door. It close behind him while he walked towards Jett and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I—“ Jett didn’t know how to react and froze. Rizak wasn’t upset. Why? “Okay?”

“You’re adorable.” Rizak kissed his forehead and smiled at him. It faded away after a moment and was replaced by a frown. “Seriously though, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m. I’m okay.” Jett blushed harder and looked down. “I. That happened. And well. I was. I mean. I—I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Rizak freed a hand and lifted Jett’s chin up until they looked each other in the eyes. “I really put you on the spot out there. You’re so outgoing with me that I forget things like that make you freeze. I’m sorry.”

“N-no, I—I mean, I appreciate the thought.” Jett might not be the brightest bulb in a room, but he knew that Rizak had tried to be romantic. “I just. Kinda ruined it for you.”

“It’s okay.” Rizak smiled at him. “We can have a do over.”

“I don’t think they’ll let you have the mic again after that,” Jett smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

“That’s fine,” Rizak smiled at him and pulled him closer. “I’ll just plan something else.”

“Not if I beat you to it first.” Jett grinned at him and leaned in. They met in a soft kiss, lingering only for a moment before they smiled at each other.

“What do you say to getting out of here?” Rizak asked quietly, with a very gentle look in his eyes that made Jett’s heart skip a beat.

“I dunno. I can’t exactly go back to the dance. I’m a mess.”

“We don’t have to go back to the dance.” Rizak held his hand and they started walking towards the door. “We can go get ice cream.”

Jett should have foreseen this. He really should have. Kingster’s Burgers was new. This was its first weekend open, so of course it was crowded. Packed, really. Even the tables outside were full, with three or four people to a table.

This date was going to be horrible. He chose a bad spot and Rizak was gonna get bored and leave early and never talk to him again—

“There you are.” Came a warm voice from beside him and speak of the devil there he was, eyes bright and smiling that attractive smile of his that made Jett’s stomach flip. “Did I keep you waiting?”

“No, I just got here,” Jett smiled shyly at him then quickly looked back to the restaurant. “Though I’m starting to think that this isn’t the best date spot today.”

“Why? Because it’s crowded?” Rizak spoke so casually that it caught Jett completely off guard when he felt the other man’s arm around his waist. His face exploded into dark red and he could barely string his reply together.

“Yeah. It’s. Crowded. Really crowded.” He swallowed thickly and tried not to think about the arm around his waist—was Rizak pulling him closer oh goodness he could feel his arm muscles flexing against his back— “I’m not sure there’s going to be an empty table anytime soon.”

“That’s fine.” Rizak pulled him closer and smiled at him and Jett felt like he would truly self combust any second now. “More time to hang out, right?”

“Right. Hang out. More time for that. Definitely.” Jett’s mind scrambled to think of anything other than how close to Rizak he now stood and failed miserably. The only thing it could think of was how nice he smelled this up close and that wasn’t helping.

“You’re adorable,” Rizak chuckled and Jett all but melted into the ground. “Now come on, let’s get in line for seating before it gets longer.”

Jett nodded in agreement because he couldn’t trust his voice. He walked alongside Rizak, face flushed red and barely breathing. The date had barely started and it was already like this. He was going to _die_ before the end of the date, wasn’t he?

Jett took a deep breath. This was it. Today. He was going to do it. He was going to ask Rizak out. On a date. Except make it sound like a hangout. He was going to do it. Today. Right now.

Jett took another deep breath.

Then another, deeper breath.

He was going to die.

Jett steeled himself and wakes towards Rizak’s locker. He passed a group of girls that whispered and giggled amongst themselves while they glanced at Rizak every few moments. Jett had to stop and take another deep breath before he continued on his way. This was gonna be a mess. A nightmare. A spectacle.

This was such a bad idea. But he was going to do it. He couldn’t not do it anymore. He had to do this.

“Hey,” he greeted once he was close enough.

“Hey,” Rizak replied. There was a light in his eyes that smiled more than this lips. “What’s up?”

“Uhmmm so…” his voice died in his throat when he met Rizak’s eyes. They were so pretty...

“Sooo?” Was Rizak teasing him?

Jett swallowed thickly and tried again. “So uh, Kingster’s Burgers opened up yesterday.”

“Yeah.”

“Have...have you gone there yet?”

“Yesterday was a school night, Jett.” Rizak answered with a teasing smile. “So no, I haven’t been there yet.”

The group of girls giggled particularly loud and Jett hoped that it was a coincidence and they weren’t laughing at him because Rizak teasing him was already killing him he was going to die— “Um...W-well, do you wanna go with me sometime to try it out?”

The group of girls giggled louder and Jett almost died on the spot, especially with how Rizak was smiling—It was not fair how could anyone’s smile be so attractive—

“Sure thing, babe. Say, Saturday at one? We can get lunch.” Rizak spoke with such ease that it made Jett’s face turn completely red.

“Yeah okay! I mean, sure, you got it. Saturday. At one. For lunch. That sounds great.” The girls were giggling again and Jett couldn’t breathe. He had to get out of there, fast. He was going to die with that smile directed at him. “So I’ll. Catch you on Saturday. Meet you there? Nice talk. Bye!”

Jett flashed Rizak his best smile and pointed finger guns at him before he walked away—ran away. He went directly to the bathroom and to the nearest sink. If he could, he would have put his whole head under the faucet and drowned himself, but he couldn’t, so he settled on repeatedly splashing water on his face. Once he felt like he could breathe again, Jett looked up at the mirror and stared at his red faced, drenched reflection. He got a date. A date. With Rizak. On Saturday. For burgers. He did it he asked him out—but was it a date? He didn’t specify. But that was the point right? To keep it casual. But now he was gonna hang out to with Rizak and have burgers and be alone together and did Rizak really call him babe it made his heart skip a beat would there be more nicknames???

The school bell rang and made him jump. It snapped him out of his thoughts and he paled at the realization that this was the bell for the first class. He...ask Rizak out before classes even started, and he shared all of his classes with him. Jett swallowed thickly and splashed more water on his face. This was it. He was going to die. There was no way he’d make it through the day like this, especially if Rizak smiled at him again.