Jan 20
Slapped by vortex
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Slapped by vortex
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO JUST ATE THE FLY I WAS TRYING TO SAVE
Me and my sister @ our dining table
Me: minding my business
Sister: *Spots a small, unsuspecting fly*
Me:
Sister: *Grabs electric eraser*
Fly:
Sister: You're going to experience the most painful death *turns on eraser*
Me: *Hears eraser and looks up. Sees eraser pressed on some random part of the table*
Sister: die fly die. Goodbye fly. Ate, I killed it.
Me: Good job.
I made a flesh-eating plant, based on a Venus Fly-Trap and apparently leaking Pepto-Bismol? It’s eating a big af fly here having the time of its life :) Part of the big af drawing-haul from 1-2 days ago
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
@musetrashbag | ✞
“You know... Anything scandalous.”
He’s really clueless about how girls are, isn’t he? Then again, that should have been obvious enough with his taste. (Seriously? That little rat? Should she feel bad for him that she’s the best he thinks he can do?)
“Though, I can’t say I’m surprised with your ignorance. Guess that happens when you don’t have too much experience with actual ladies, no offense.” He really shouldn’t take offense to her just stating the facts, but some people are more sensitive, right? “Tell you what: I know it’s none of my business, but I’m feeling generous, so why don’t you come sit with me during lunch? I’ll tell you all there is to know about handling ladies, since you’re...” Augh, it’s almost nauseating for her to even think of that rat dating anyone. “Seeing a girl. Sound good?”
Sometimes I feel bad for the flies and bugs that fly into my house on accident; but at the same time, they're treading into private territory and therefore must be terminated.
So let me tell you guys a bed time story....
Here I am all tired and getting ready for bed. I say my goodnights, get my PJs on, my teeth brushed, the lights off, even my retainer on! And I’m checking tumblr for the last time before I’m about to KO and all of the sudden a fly lands on my screen. I panic and throw my phone. Now I can’t sleep with this pest flying around my head cuz with my luck he’ll fly right into my mouth. Great. So I get up, turn on the lights, and prepare for war. I roll up my latest issue of Sport Illustrated and hope that all the softball I’ve been watching/playing lately will come in handy. So this fly is really playing hard to get here cuz he won’t stay in one spot so I guess it was time for some batting practice. I get my eye on him once and I swing and miss bad. Like reallllll bad. Whoops 😅. Strike one. After a little while he comes around again and I swing and slightly clip him but not enough to kill him. Foul ball. Strike two. I was not about to strike out and let this bug win here so I choke up on the magazine and look for the right time to swing. When I do, I go full on dinger derby on his ass and knock the winged demon clean out of the sky. Home run. Proud of my work, I walk to turn off the light I see the bitch move on the ground! Like no!! You’re supposed to be dead!! I hit it again with the magazine…still moving 😑 I take a few more swings at it…still fucking moving! 😠 It wasn’t until I beat it 3 times with a shoe and put a garbage can over it did it finally give up and peacefully rise to fly heaven. He was a worthy opponent. Now I’m completely exhausted and can sleep with a smile knowing I slayed the beast. Goodnight. 😊