pairing: ?!yushi x fem!reader
disclaimers: brief mentions of alcohol!
synopsis: "sometimes, I feel like yuzu."
w.c: 2.2k + a long ass a/n at the bottom
you first met yushi under the warmth of the summer sun, the relentless UV rays beating down on you on a cloudless day at the beach.
your university friends insisted on having a bikini beach date before the new semester started. it must've been the thrill of having a bunch of girls squeezed onto a tiny picnic mat, letting the dizzying heat get to their heads as they threw around frivolous remarks about the people who walked past. Or the ice cold bottle of beer cooling your skin as you took a swig, ironically heating your cheeks to a rosy red. it must've been the alcohol in that gulp of beer you took, but you found yourself drowning the caution in your system with the bitterness of the drink as your friend pointed to a person a few metres away, his unclothed back facing you and your friends.
“I dare you to ask him for his number.”
you would've protested, shaken your head profusely knowing you weren't usually so bold. but everything about today was already unusual. you in a bikini. you drinking beer. it wouldn't hurt to add one more unusual activity to the list.
you jumped up onto your feet before your doubt could kick in, feeling your heart pound against your chest at each step that drew you closer towards your target.
you hadn't seen his face then. all you saw were broad shoulders and lean muscles moving under his skin as he shifted his weight to prop himself up on one arm, jet black hair clumped with sea water.
before your mind could convince you that this was a bad, and very embarrassing idea, you bent down and poked his shoulder.
“can I have your number?” or what if I just pass him my phone? do I tell him this is a dare?
you prepared yourself to blurt something out, hopefully exuding some confidence while you were at it, but you felt your lips part with your words dissolving at the tip of your tongue because why, just why—
you watched his wet, tousled hair fall past his eyebrows as a bead of sweat rolled down from his temple. he paused mid-drink of a can of yuzu soda, looking like he was filming a commercial in slow-mo, and you were the camera lens.
—did this random man actually have to be cute?
you stared into a pair of perfectly round boba eyes, looking somewhere between stupid and creepy as your lips formed silent shapes in the air.
you mentally cursed yourself for stuttering. so much for confidence. you stuck your phone out towards the man as his eyes glanced at the device, then back to your face.
you had already prepared yourself to be rejected, and you would've been fine if you ended up looking silly in front of some average looking man. but this wasn't an average looking man, and that changed everything. you pulled the towel draped around your shoulders closer to your body, suddenly conscious of how little you were wearing, feeling a sudden surge of heat shoot to your cheeks. it must be the alcohol.
the man sat with his ears growing redder as he blinked a couple times, body unmoving as seconds passed.
that seemed to snap the man out of his thoughts. his eyes darted to the shore, where a bunch of shirtless boys seemed to be making their way back to the picnic mat, before quickly snatching the phone from you and typing in his number.
“okay, here. please leave, before my friends see you.”
and though you got the cute beach boy’s number, and successfully completed the dare, you couldn't help but wonder if he had just turned you down.
you didn't do anything with his number. frankly, you didn't dare to. the cute beach boy slowly slipped to the back of your mind, buried under your impending deadlines and assignments.
but that was the thing about yushi, he always popped up when you least expected.
add bars to the list of worst places for a first date. you tightened your lips into what hopefully resembled a smile as your date belted a hearty laugh, even doubling over and almost into your lap as you sat side by side along the bar counter.
you didn't want to be here, but you were somehow thrown under the bus when your senior, ning yizhuo, thought it was a great idea to sell you out to her cousin in return for a favour from him.
“please, y/n! I mean- you know zhong chenle, right?”
you gritted your teeth behind an ingenuine smile, your eyes darting to the clock hanging on the wall behind your date. you didn't hate chenle. he had a cute smile, a cheerful laugh, but you had the impression that he’d much rather be on a date with stephen curry than you right now.
“It was insane- do you want to see the clip?”
no, not really. but before you could come up with a polite rejection, he was already leaning uncomfortably closer as he scrolled through his gallery to find the video.
the sharp clinking of a glass caught both yours and chenle’s attention. you both stared at the martini glass that was slid across the counter. the pale yellow liquid rippled in the glass with a lemon twist resting prettily against the rim, and an acidic aroma that caught your nose, making you wince. chenle looked up to the bartender at the same time you did, and you felt your heart catch in your throat.
because why in the world was the cute beach boy standing behind the bar counter, with the sleeves of his black button-up rolled at his elbows and his hair now softly curled over his eyes, a sly smirk playing on his lips as his delicate hands wiped the inside of a glass cup.
”yuzu martini. it's on the house.”
ah, so it was yuzu. you wondered why there was a tinge of bitter despite the garnish. chenle leaned in to take a whiff of the drink, wincing and retracting as the sharpness of the alcohol stung his nose.
the cute beach boy, who was now the cute bartender, set the mug he was wiping down and leaned closer, forearms tensing under his weight.
”why? too strong for you?”
chenle blinked at the remark. he straightened himself and quirked an eyebrow as the pads of his fingers pinched the stem. swiftly, he downed the martini in one shot, his eyebrows furrowing as the liquid burned down his throat.
you caught the bartender’s name tag as your date was busy proving himself.
you only realised you had whispered his name out loud when your eyes suddenly met his, and you were sure the thumping in your ears wasn’t the bass of the background music.
“piece-” chenle paused to suppress a burp, “of cake!” he slid the glass back to yushi, who caught it mid movement.
you eyed chenle, who was already slightly tipsy from the drinks you had prior, trying to assess what he was doing as he suddenly sealed his lips, eyes stoned at the marble surface, growing eerily quiet compared to the rambling you had become used to.
chenle hopped off the barstool. “I’m just- I’m just gonna take a piss!“ he stumbled over his own feet as he held his stool for support, before swaying his way to the washroom, bumping into a few thankfully empty tables along the way.
“he’ll probably be there for awhile.” yushi chuckled, catching your attention.
“what did you put in that?” you questioned, watching as yushi’s lips curved into a mischievous grin. “oh, you know, just yuzu syrup, vodka, vermouth. your usual martini mix. just, a little more vodka than usual. you looked like you needed a break.”
“oh, playing hero?” you found yourself unable to suppress a smile, propping your chin on your palm, feeling yourself grow giddy with the scent of yuzu lingering in the air and the allure of the cute bartender.
he chuckled. “tokuno yushi,” he stuck his hand out, “i would give you my number, but you already have it.” your face flushed as you took his hand. “l/n y/n. why, are you interested in me?” you teased.
you didn't expect him to admit it. but then again, everything about yushi was unexpected. “I thought you weren't. you told me to leave.”
“oh, that.” the tips of his ears reddened as a hand scratched the back of his neck, “i just didn’t want my friends to tease me. i don’t usually give my number out, and I don't know how to act around pretty people”
and just like that, he was back to the cute, shy boy you met at the beach, as if just moments ago he wasn’t the mischievous bartender who sabotaged (or rather, saved) your date.
chenle stumbled back to the counter, mumbling something about calling him when you get home as he clumsily fumbled with his wallet, slamming his credit card on the table. he dragged himself out of the bar, leaving both you and his credit card behind.
“i might’ve added a shot too many.” yushi winced at the way chenle swayed outside the glass doors, watching as he almost dropped his phone, barely saving it to make a muffled phone call, before finding a spot by a lamp post and plopping himself down.
you giggled as you gathered your own things into your purse, including chenle’s forgotten credit card. “I better return his card before he tries to meet me again.” you hopped off the bar stool and straightened your skirt, “i’ll-” you took a deep breath, “i’ll text you!”
yushi watched you scurry out of the bar and stuff the card into chenle’s shirt pocket, giggling to himself when you tripped over chenle’s foot.
he felt someone nudge his shoulder, “looks like someone’s got a little crush.”
yushi rolled his eyes, “shut up, riku.”
“sometimes,” you fiddled with the tab of the soda can, quickly taking a gulp to wash down the pressure building in your throat. your throat squeezed at the fizziness. “I feel like… yuzu.”
you had become friends with yushi. more than friends, to be exact. you remembered flinging your phone across your bed as your thumb clicked “send” after getting home from the bar, burying your head in your pillows in an attempt to silence the beating of your heart.
yushi (cute beach boy + bartender): l/n y/n?
you read your name over and over again, your eyes starting to sting from the blue light radiating off the screen. you wondered how your name would sound from his lips.
you: can you send me a voice message
yushi (cute beach boy + bartender): what?
you: I want to hear you say my name
yushi (cute beach boy + bartender): you're so silly
yushi (cute beach boy + bartender): *one voice message attached*
a first date at the ice cream parlour opposite the bar, bickering over superior ice cream flavours, led to aimless strolls at the park at ungodly hours, trying to ignore your knuckles brushing as you walked side by side, until yushi’s pinky wrapped around yours, and suddenly the night didn't seem as cold as it did.
one of your aimless strolls had landed you both back to where you started: the beach. except this time, you weren't being toasted by the afternoon sun.
your fingers tapped against the aluminium can. you watched the moon ripple in the ocean, the sound of the waves washing over each other filling the gap between you and yushi as the two of you dangled your legs off the edge of a wooden boardwalk meant for fishing.
“yuzu?” yushi tilted his head in response, echoing you with a slight grin. you chuckled at your own absurdity, nodding.
“it's neither a lemon, nor an orange. sweet, but also bitter. always in between, always at odds with itself.” you looked down at your hands, your thumbs tracing the tiny scars that wrapped around each other like poison ivy.
his silence made you feel dumb, like you had just babbled into the air like a curious toddler.
“actually- nevermind-”
“hmm,” yushi hummed, cutting you off. his lips pursed in thought, “must it be a lemon?” he tapped a finger against his pout, “if it's not a lemon, must it be an orange? why can't yuzu just be yuzu?”
yushi took a sip of his drink, letting out a satisfied “ah” as the liquid slid down his throat.
“you’re in your own category, y/n. you don't have to try to be anyone else.”
his eyes met yours, sparkling with the fizz of a freshly opened can of soda. “besides, ” a light blush settled on the apples of his cheeks, faint pink glowing under the moonlight, “I think you're lovely no matter who you think you are.”
yushi leaned in, nuzzling the side of his head against yours knowing it would elicit a smile from you. you let out a small laugh, your unoccupied hand coming up to stroke yushi’s hair as he made a nest for himself in the crook of your neck.
yushi’s words replayed in your head as you dwelled in the comfortable silence that engulfed you. and you realised yushi too, was like yuzu.
he was unexpectedly sweet despite his cold first impression, a cocktail of calm and mischievous; sometimes throwing a flirtatious joke your way, other times looking at you with a gaze that made you feel naked. both times, making your heart flutter and swell.
because no matter which side he showed, you loved him. yushi was everything all at once and you loved him. and if you could love him who was sweet and bitter like yuzu, neither lemon nor orange, perhaps one day, you could learn to love yourself too.
“did I ever tell you I'm a big fan of yuzu?”
you quirked an eyebrow at the sudden question, fingers intertwined with yushi's. he brought the back of your hands up to his lips, placing a soft kiss against your skin, his lips curving into a smile you knew too well, one that made you want to roll your eyes and kiss him all at once.
“that must be why I love you.”
a/n: things to confess: 1) I don't like yuzu. 2) I've never had a martini and I don't know anything about mixology. 3) I wrote 2k words about yushi and yuzu because I liked that they both started with 'yu'... that's literally how this whole thing started. but as I wrote I've developed a meaning for yuzu which will be explained below!
on a more serious note: y/n's story is meant to be interpretive. I didn't want to muddy this with a concrete back story for her because it felt unnecessary. feeling like "yuzu" is about feeling like you're at odds with yourself, feeling like you're everything but nothing at once, feeling like you're skilled at a lot of things but you excel at none, feeling like you're a good person yet bad at the same time, etc etc.
I tried to write something comforting here, but it's hard when it's an issue I myself still struggle with sometimes. so I just hope that anyone who has had the same thoughts or issues feel comforted knowing there's someone out there who understands you and loves you no matter what!!
