Harding: Have you tried that coffee ice that's all the rage in Minrathous?
Lucanis: Coffee... ice..?
Harding: It's like snow, but made of coffee. It's sweet and they put toffee sauce on top.
Lucanis: I'm offended, and I don't know why.
I've worked in grocery retail and also service industy since I was 16 years old. [has existential crisis in "I've worked for longer than one of my cousins has been ALIVE] I had to do so many seminars on food safety and I just have so many questions.
How? I assume bc Tevinter is apparently so ahead of everything they might just know how to make ice cream
"It's like snow" makes it sound like shaved ice to me though? How?
Is it magic ice?
Is the Ice that mages make food-grade? Should it be ingested?
What if ingesting Mage Ice is the equivalent of eating dry ice?
What does Food Safety Regulation look like in Tevinter?
But also don't tell Lucanis when they invent iced coffee or the kind of coffee where they put a ball of ice cream on top of it
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
late night thought about uncanney valley, extraterrestrial life (mostly mass effect aliens), monsterfuckery and all that
brought to you by the fermi paradox hypothesis that alien life may be so immensely different from human life that we'd never find each other bc we're looking for Humanoid Signs and the Inhabitants of HIP-413b are looking for HIP-413b'ian Signs
i watch star trek and i play mass effect and consume monster pornography and im like
they kinda sexy
but lets be real if I opened the door to go to work one day and Garrus Vakarian stood in front of me
best case, uncanney valley hits like bruh your cosplay so good, so screen accurate it actually freaks me out
worst case, i shit myself and vomit on the spot or just straight up die bc I'd be terrified
like sort of, the appeal is that they're inhuman, yeah, but also that they're not real?
bc im trying to imagine a creature that's easily taller than my room height, covered in some sort of biological, scale shield against radioactivity with its waist the circumference of my forearm and extremities the dimensions of... idk sth tall and skinny you get the idea
he could tell me there's no shepard without vakarian all he wants i will not survive that encounter and not even bc he'd kill me or I'd kill myself bc honestly
i dont think the human mind is equipped for that. The average human mind can barely comprehend that the number of ESTIMATED stars in the OBSERVABLE universe is this number: 10^24. TO THE POWER OF TWENTY-FOUR. I DON'T EVEN KNOW 24 PEOPLe. Like for all that math is what makes up the universe [or so I've been told. i have dysalculia, i wouldn't actually know] if Just Some Guy can't process that how tf would JSG process The Very Model Of A Scientist Salarian?*
We all played Andromeda and watched Jaal stalk down those stairs and went 🥵 but if this mountain of skin easily thrice my mass came stalking down stairs towards me?? REALISTICALLY??? Evfra could call off his snipers and get the cleanup crew bc i died right there and evacuated every last of my orifices thankyouu.**
[angara [AND KETT HOLY SHIT] only get worse when u think about their origins but since I'm passed on before anyone even speaks it's not conducive to my point so im ignoring it]
also i think salarians would be worse bc they look rather close to what ThE gReEn MaRsMeN are depicted as
quarians and asari are just larping and cosplaying probably
but you know what would absolutely yeet me into the next life? NA'VI bc they hit alienism and uncanney valley at the same time and now translate that into conceivable carbon-based intelligent life? absolutely not goodnight
I once spent 10 bucks on an exclusive character in a Crusty Dating Sim in which you met that character's alien creators and MC straight up vomited and back then I laughed but honestly? probably same
-
*dont actually tell me i dont wanna hear it
** dont talk to me about societal shift or whatever from having grown up with aliens and landing on an alien planet in an alien galaxy for human expansion thats not what this is about. its about that, take em outta mass effect and plop em in front of your door you're dead on scene
