Okay, so this was spawned by that bit with Winona Ryder saying she and Keanu Reeves may have actually been married when they filmed Dracula back in the day. The idea popped into my head that it would be fun if, on some Justice League mission to an alien world, that happened to Clark and Bruce. After getting this opening scene down, however, there appears to be no feasible way to carry on with it. :(Â
I shall return now to fics that might actually go somewhere. :sigh:
Two Weddings and Hal Jordan's Funeral
(working title)
Ten years ago on the planet Phirocander..
Batman glowered at the attendant who approached to present him with a flower crown. âIs this really necessary?â
Jâonn responded with a minute tilt of his head. âThe flowers symbolize the renewal of the compact.â At least Jâonn believed he had that right. The nuances of the Phirocandian language had proven a challenge to navigate.
âFine,â Bruce grumbled. He bowed his head so the attendant could place the wreath of flowers on his cowl. The ears presented some difficulty, with the result that the wreath hung slightly askew as Bruce straightened up. Only Clark had the nerve to smile.
When another attendant approached Clark, the Man of Steel was all graciousness as he bowed his head to accept his crown of flowers.
The administrator stepped forward then, resplendent in elegant robes, and sporting a crown of leaves and berries, cradling the Book of Ceremonies with reverence. Jâonn translated as the ceremony proceeded without incident, officially putting the cap on the Justice Leagueâs pledge to bring peace between warring factions.
It was only later, when they were returning to Earth, and Adam Strange made a passing comment about the Montagues and Capulets, that doubt crept into Jâonn Jâonzz. A doubt that took on the density of concrete when, back on Watchtower, he ran the words of the ceremony through their translator.
Still, what were the odds the matter would ever come up?
This is what he told himself, coming to believe it as the years passed and nothing more was heard from Phirocander.
Present day, a church in SmallvilleâŚ
âIf anyone gathered knows why these two should not be wed,â the minister looked with smiling benediction on Clark Kent and Lana Lang, âlet them speak now or forever hold their peace.â
A brief pause, during which Jâonn wrestled with his conscience. If only he could be certain Ms. Lang was his friendâs true soul mate. Even so, was it his place to interfere? He suspected he had already left things far too late, and speaking up now would only cause havoc. No, he decided, best to hold his tongue and let well enough alone.
Satisfied with his decision, Jâonn settled back in the pew as the minister resumed.
âVery well, then, let us continue. Clark Joseph Kent, do you take--â
The church door banged open and all heads turned to watch Hal Jordan barge down the aisle. âStop the wedding! Clark Kent canât marry this woman!â
âExplain yourself, young man,â the minister demanded.
âYes,â Bruce said, an ominous note in his voice from where he stood at Clarkâs shoulder, âplease do.â
Hal gulped but plunged on. âClark canât marry Ms. Lang because he already has a spouse.â
Clark stared at him. Jâonn bowed his head, feeling a headache coming on.
âIâm sorry,â Clark said with infinite patience, giving Lana Lang a reassuring smile. âWho is it Iâm meant to have married?â
Hal swallowed again, followed that with a deep breath, and then, âHim.â He pointed at Bruce. âYouâre already married to him.â
Jâonn muttered an ancient Martian curse, and suspected even a whole crate of Oreos would not be enough to take the edge off this day.
