#richietoizer

What if...

Richie: I REMEMBER A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO I ASKED “do they serve cake at funerals?” I WAS DEADASS HELP

Bill: DO THEY?

Stan: smashes head on brick wall

Mike: how the hell the teachers gonna be up our asses abt plagiarism when i find the whole worksheet on quizlet

Bev: i have major daddy issues and i need some psychological evaluation

Richie: i don’t speak scientific ass math book supreme

Eddie: I WILL REMIND U GUYS BC YALL SICK IN THE HEAD

Ben: grape flavored doritos

Mike: DO NOT GO ON

Georgie talking about Bill: did i tell yall the story where my sister kicked my ass and i flew onto a couch

Bev talking about Mike: SOME KID IN TECH SAID HE WANTED TO GO TO HELL AND THE WHOLE CLASS WAS LIKE: ...

HE WAS LIKE “AS LONG AS I HAVE MY LEGOS”

Bill: COFFEE JUST CAME OUJT OF MY NMOSE

Richie: i fell asleep during lunch💔

Eddie: I CAN BRETAH

Richie: bretah💔👹

Ben to Mike: bitch i’m so disappointed that the easter bunny ain’t real

Mike: *making a plush gnome do the macarena*

here, have some patty being a wingman for richie lmao 

↬“My hoodie looks comfy on you.”

=====

Patty walked quickly as she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her coat. She cursed the weather, threatening it as if doing so would make the snow stop falling from the sky. 

“God I hate winter so fucking much.” She grumbled, reluctantly pulling her hand out of her pocket to open the door of the coffee shop she had finally arrived at.“Snow can kiss my ass!”

“Hello to you too Patty Cake!” Richie smiled at her sweetly as he waved her over from his place in line.

She ignored the glares of the people lined up behind Richie as she moved to stand next to him. “I can’t believe you made me walk through all that snow just so you could have an excuse to sit here and make eyes at the guy you have a crush on without looking creepy!”

You smile but my goblin brain is like: “Hot and bovvered? Hot and bovvered, luv.” Uhhhh warning: notsfw-ish  “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

His breath is hot on Stan’s neck. His heart is racing.

Eddie’s hands slide down his chest; he can feel Stan’s heartbeat going almost as fast as his own. His bright eyes stare up at him softly. Warmly. He’s the most inviting man Eddie’s ever met.

Behind him, Richie’s lips ghost over his shoulder. His long, cool fingers are closing around his hips. Eddie lets out a soft gasp as Richie’s teeth sink into his neck. Stan leans forward and kisses along Eddie’s chest, and he grips a handful of his curly hair.

“What if I want Eds all to myself, Stanney?” Richie whines, running his hands over Eddie’s smooth belly. He feels a soft trail of hair below his navel, and smirks. His fingertips tap down the line, knowing exactly where it leads. It’s exactly where his mouth wants to be. “Huh, Stan? What if I think I should have a night to be greedy?” Eddie is whimpering beneath them, wired from all the touch.

Stan doesn’t look up from what he’s doing. He doesn’t pull his mouth off of Eddie’s skin, and Richie huffs, searching for a spot to leave his own hickey. They take turns being the bottom - at least he and Eddie do. Stan is decidedly a top.

Finally, there’s a loud pop as Stan removes his lips. A red welt is already forming on Eddie’s rib cage.

🐝- Tag three friends and your three favorite things about them! 

 wooo three more!

1. @richietoizer: how much like me you are. your wit! i love that wit. how blunt you are sometimes!

2.  @isaacslaheys: your fashion senssseeee. you’re middle name ;). your typo’s because they always make me laugh

3. @madi-main: your passion! i love it when you get so passionate you talk so fast im like what. your languageee. i’ve only heard you slip into it a few times but it’s beautiful. your hair! that shade of pink is beautiful! :3

🦋- Tag three people you want to get to know better and state why!

1. @richietoaster because she’s become a pretty good friend really fast so naturally i want to know all my friends better.

2. @thorn-harvester-ven we don’t talk much because we always miss each other but when she do she’s great and i would love to know her better!

3. @saltedchinesefood because he’s fucking great and i have grown to like him.

🌺- Do you have a best friend?