#ricecookerdiary

I've had enough!

I don't even care who reads this. It is just for myself, but I thought I might also share it with my 4 followers for motivation idek.

For context:

I've been lurking on shiftblr for while, or Tumblr in general soaking up all the information about shifting, permashifting, manifestation/LOA, void. I don't even remember what got me into this. I think I was originally on Reddit and through the r/realitiyshifting sub, I discovered Tumblr and its treasure trove. I consider myself somewhat a spiritual person. My journey started when I accidentally discover subliminals on Youtube, and that led to my learning about manifestation and then shifting and with it the void. I used to listen to subliminals, I know they work but I've always had a blockage when it came to physical result. Ik saying I have a blockage is just a limiting belief, so I just looked to manifestation to get what I want. But nevertheless, I still had the same problem. And increasingly, I became lazy with manifestation. Every night I lay down, all I want to do is doomscroll and sleep even though I could practice something spiritual in that time. The next morning I wake up and feel like shit because my circumstances haven't changed. And this got worse when I discovered void, shifting. I wanted to shift to a better CR, where I basically have everything. This made me neglect this reality because I would always tell myself that I already have it in another reality. But that didn't help a bit, it made me wake up everytime after a failed shifting attempt, if I even tried, and feel bad about my situation. My life is not even bad objectively, but comparing it to my CR, it just makes me feel so unmotivated to continue putting effort into anything here. Shifting lwk destroyed my mental health. I hate my face and my body, and I feel so mediocre, not good enough. And the reason shifting is I know I can have it but for some reason I am not. Also it makes it harder to accept your faith here. Imagine if you only have one life and know you can't change it, maybe you'll just accept it and move on. But knowing my dream life is out there (if I can even say I know, because I'm a very science-inclined person too, and sometimes it's just hard not to doubt) but I don't know when and even if, it builds up this frustration and further hatred for this reality. This is kind of a self diagnosis, but I generally feel depressed. And I know it's kind of icky to admit that because of all the stigmatization this community has already faced, especially through shifttok. But you have to acknowledge something to fix it. And frankly, I'm sick of this cycle, so I'll take things into my hands.

My plan:

The problem of neglecting this reality is not a new one for me. I've struggled with it a lot and the one thing I hold on to is the fact it just doesn't hurt to live a good life here. If I finish my task and I'm productive, maybe that will also apply to my spiritual life. It might be easier to say, meditate if you don't have many thoughts worrying about daily problems. Plus if I keep myself busy, I won't have time to spiral. My plan is to make a big divider. I will turn off my knowing of shifting during the day, and also use basic manifestation just so nothing turns out to be even worse (affirmations, mental diet), that way I can still stay grounded without the aforementioned spiralization and bitter feelings about this reality. At night, I will use the Gateway Tapes to give me some direction in my journey because I have been feeling lost for a while. I actually have started sometimes ago, but again, inconsitency and laziness had never brought me anywhere. So this time, because I have this blog to hold myself responsible, I'll try to do the tapes everyday and update here as commments. I think my goal back into this journey is also to take things lightlier. My inital goal is to just achieve something "cool". I've had success with lucid dreaming and astral projected twice (OOBEs) and remember my dreams every day so I don't doubt those two things. I will combine the tape and the WBTB method, since I've had success with it to hopefully induce for lucid dreams regularly. And to prevent myself from falling asleep, I'll have to go to bed sooner, that will hopefully fix my sleep schedule, which I know contributed to my miseral mental health. One other thing, that will I also do, is to have some kind of social media detox. I will still use them but posts, where I can potentially compare myself and it leads to nowhere will now be ignored. I have a board on pinterest about my better CR life, and I love it so much, but I have deactivated the personalization of my home feed by that board. that will hopefully leave it with stuff that I can only inspire me, since I'm and artist, and leave out the jealousy inducing part. Last but no least, I think I will blog some more, about my DRs, (not about my better CR) because honestly, I don't care, if I shift to those, and it makes me treat all of this lightly. I just want to bring back the fun in shifting and takes the pressure off of myself. That's it, my first entry will be tomorrow!

When I put away the grocery on Saturday, I remember there being this strawberry cheesecake icecream. The next day I look for it, it was nowhere to be found. I asked my family about it, no one knew. I turned the fridge upside down and still couldn't find it. Mind you, I didn't by this ice cream, my mom bought this and she always remember what she buys. Fast forward, today, I found it again, intact, just in plain sight. Either someone moved it, which was highly improbable because ice cream can't be anywhere other than the fridge or I fricking minishifted twice. And of course I had to have some before it dissapears again 😔😋.

The start of it all

WBTB progress #1

Minishifts

Lucid dreams