sign my yearbook?
rileyβs been hiding her feelings for farkle for far too long. itβs the end of senior year and everyone is signing yearbooks. itβs now or never, riley.
riley matthews sat in front of the bright computer screen in the uncomfortable but familiar desk chair. she was putting the final touches on the last yearbook sheβd ever work on. it was satisfying and saddening all at once.
as she clicked through the pages, she felt like high school was gone faster than riley could count to ten. she could still recall the first day of her freshman year, and how the halls felt so much bigger then. riley and her friends were seniors now. soon, theyβd be moving on and closing this crazy but wonderful chapter of their lives.
she was lost in thought, reminiscing about the last four years of her life when the classroom door opened and broke her daydream.
βhey, riley. sorry iβm late. the math club meeting ran longer than i thought it would. what are you doing and how can i help?β farkle asked with a smile.
βiβm just looking over the last few pages and thinking about the last few years of our lives.β
βi can help with both of those things!β he said as he sat beside her. βweβve had some good times, havenβt we?β
βyes, yes we have,β she grinned.
βso, after proofing these pages weβre done?β
βi think so. i donβt see anything else that needs changing but iβve been looking at the pages too long, can you check before we finalize it?β
farkle nodded his head and went to work. his brow furrowed as he concentrated and riley caught herself staring at him. he ran a hand through his hair. he straightened his back. she traced his profile with her gaze, his face illuminated with the white light of the screen in front of them. she looked at his hands on the wooden desk. she thought about holding them for the millionth time. how long was she going to keep her feelings from him?
βcan you hand me that folder over there?β he asked pointing to rileyβs left and breaking the silence.
βhere you go.β she handed it to him.
their hands touched and lingered for moment before farkle shuffled through the papers inside the folder. that alone was enough to send a kaleidoscope of butterflies to her stomach. riley bit her lip and looked down, in case her face gave away what she was going on inside. did he feel electricity in his fingers the way she did?
βthanks. you know what i just realized? this is the last time weβll ever be sitting here after school.β
βi know! before you got here, i was just thinking βthis is the last time farkle will be late to a yearbook meeting!β and i thought about how great itβll be to not have to wait on you,β she teased, quickly putting aside her feelings. she was used to it by now.
βhey! i have a lot of things to do! and iβm not always late! and even if am late, iβm always here! riley, have i ever not been here for you when you need me?β he put his hand on her knee.
βno. youβre always here, farkle,β she said, trying to ignore her rapid heartbeat. βalways.β
//
the yearbooks were being distributed and riley couldnβt help but feel a little emotional. she loved being editor and part of her didnβt ever want that to end. she looked around as the students passed their yearbooks to one another, pulling out pens and markers to sign them. they flipped through the pages and looked for themselves and their friends. she saw farkle walking towards her, yearbook in hand.
βhey, riley. sign my yearbook? youβre the last person i need a signature from."Β
"of course! but, iβm going to need some time. this is, you know, the last time i will ever sign a yearbook for you and a simple 'see ya later! have a great summer!β wonβt do. do you mind if i keep it for the rest of the day?"Β
"take as long as you need,β he said.Β
βcoincidentally, youβre also the last person i need a signature from."Β
"well, if thatβs the case, iβd like to take your yearbook for the day, as well, if itβs alright with you."Β
"it most definitely is.β
//
farkle, weβve been friends sinceβ¦ no, too predictable.Β
i want to thank you for being my friendβ¦ no, too formal.Β
letβs always stay in touchβ¦ yikes.Β
dearest farkley,β¦ okay, no. you cannot start telling him you love him by calling him farkley. just speak from the heart, matthews. come on. you can do it.
farkle,Β your presence in my life has meant the world to me. i know youβve loved me since the first grade. and you know i love you, but itβs time you know how. iβm sorry it took me so long to figure it out, even sorrier it took me this long to let you know. i love you with no restrictions, limits, or restraints. in turtlenecks and in black hoodies. on earth, pluto, mars, or any other planet in every other galaxy. i never want you not in my life. my mom told me once that love is a choice. itβs choosing someone over and over. well, if thatβs true, then youβre the only choice. no contest. you make everything better and brighter. i love you. iβm in love with you. always, riley
she put her pen down and sighed. what was done was done. she wrote it down and there was no going back now.Β
riley dreaded the next day at school. she walked into the building and saw her friends standing by her dadβs classroom. she locked eyes with farkle and swore she couldnβt feel her legs anymore. by the end of the day, heβd know how she felt.
βhey, here you go.β he handed over the yearbook.Β "are you done writing yet? iβm really looking forward to reading what you wrote me.βΒ
"i am, but can you promise me something?"Β
"anything."Β
"donβt read it until you get home.β
βis everything okay?"Β
"everythingβs fine. just promise me, please?"Β
"i promise.β
she gave him his yearbook and the matter was officially out of her hands.
//
βheβs probably already read it, maya,β riley declared.Β
the pair were sitting in the bay window, with rileyβs head in mayaβs lap.Β
βno, he hasnβt. heβs farkle. he promised. and we know heβs not home yet, so he hasnβt read it."Β
"he read it and he doesnβt feel the same and he feels weird and i ruined our friendship and everyoneβs plans for the summer and nothing will ever be the same ever again and itβs all my fault andβ"Β
"breathe, riles! iβm sure only one of those things is true."Β
"which one?"Β
"nothing will ever be the same, but for the better. trust me."Β
"maya, i need farkle in my life. what if he doesnβt need me?β she asked quietly.Β
βfarkle needs you just as much, maybe more,β she assured her.Β
βi gotta get going, honey. iβll be back tomorrow morning. call me if you need anything.β
βthanks, peaches. be safe.β
maya climbed out the window and disappeared from view. riley took her yearbook out of her backpack and sat on her bed. she flipped through the pages for the millionth time. when riley had first read farkleβs note in her yearbook, she found it hard not to be upset. what heβd written was lovely, but far from the declaration of love sheβd hoped heβd write to match her own.
she leaned back and stared at the ceiling. there was nothing riley could do but wait.
//
after a while, she heard her window open.
βyouβre back already, maya?β she asked without looking.Β
βummβ¦ no,β he said.Β
βfarkle. hi,β she said as she sat up.Β
βhi,β he said. he took a seat next to her and said nothing else.Β
riley couldnβt wait for him to break the silence anymore. βlisten, i know i shouldnβt have written all that. weβve been friends for years and i donβt want that to change and ifβ"Β
"riley!"Β
"yes?β
βcan i talk?"Β
"okay."Β
"weβve been friends for a very long time. weβve grown up together. and as weβve grown, a lot of things have changed. weβve all learned and evolved and had all these experiences, but thereβs one thing that hasnβt ever changed. i donβt think i realized it until recently, but maybe part of me has always known. i never said anything because after all this time i never thought youβd feel the same, but i have been in love with you since the first grade, riley. i always will be."Β
"really?β was all riley could say. her eyes were bright.Β
βreally.β he smiled and held her hand.Β
βso, where do we go from here? i mean, we graduate in a few weeks. we have the summer, and then what?"Β
"i donβt know. but for now? you and me? that sounds perfect."Β
"you and me,β she confirmed, βand maya."Β
that made him laugh. "yes, of course, and maya.β
