#minkthews

You weren’t there when she met him, but you were there when she fell for him in that dark library. You were there to watch the way she slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. You watched the connection form all the while you couldn’t do anything about it or the nauseous feeling in your stomach. You watch the way her heart eyes morph into something more deeper and meaningful than you could have anticipated. You might have secured your post as number one in her father’s class, but Lucas Friar just square danced his way into the only place that really counts, her heart.

The next night you bypass her window, instead going to her young but wise sibling’s window. Auggie’s face is somber as he talks to you.

“I saw her face Farkle. I may be only this many,” he holds up a small hand, all five fingers splayed. “But I know what I saw. It’s the same mommy looks at daddy, the same way I look at Ava.” The same way you look at her, Auggie doesn’t say it but you both think it. “It’s hopeless.”

It sucks to hear that from Riley’s brother. To know that the girl you’ve loved since the first grade has left you for a prettier more masculine cowboy. It sucks that you’ve never had a claim on her in the first place.

You hand Super Spy Auggie his standard fee. He refuses to take it, pushing the candy back into your cold hand. Somehow, that makes it worse.

“I’m sorry Farkle.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “so am I.” 

Little do you know it’s going to get worse when she's ripped to shreds by a triangle that is really a silent quadrilateral. 

riley matthews sat in front of the bright computer screen in the uncomfortable but familiar desk chair. she was putting the final touches on the last yearbook she’d ever work on. it was satisfying and saddening all at once.

as she clicked through the pages, she felt like high school was gone faster than riley could count to ten. she could still recall the first day of her freshman year, and how the halls felt so much bigger then. riley and her friends were seniors now. soon, they’d be moving on and closing this crazy but wonderful chapter of their lives.

she was lost in thought, reminiscing about the last four years of her life when the classroom door opened and broke her daydream.

“hey, riley. sorry i’m late. the math club meeting ran longer than i thought it would. what are you doing and how can i help?” farkle asked with a smile.

“i’m just looking over the last few pages and thinking about the last few years of our lives.”

“i can help with both of those things!” he said as he sat beside her. “we’ve had some good times, haven’t we?”

“yes, yes we have,” she grinned.

“so, after proofing these pages we’re done?”

“i think so. i don’t see anything else that needs changing but i’ve been looking at the pages too long, can you check before we finalize it?”

farkle nodded his head and went to work. his brow furrowed as he concentrated and riley caught herself staring at him. he ran a hand through his hair. he straightened his back. she traced his profile with her gaze, his face illuminated with the white light of the screen in front of them. she looked at his hands on the wooden desk. she thought about holding them for the millionth time. how long was she going to keep her feelings from him?

“can you hand me that folder over there?” he asked pointing to riley’s left and breaking the silence.

“here you go.” she handed it to him.

their hands touched and lingered for moment before farkle shuffled through the papers inside the folder. that alone was enough to send a kaleidoscope of butterflies to her stomach. riley bit her lip and looked down, in case her face gave away what she was going on inside. did he feel electricity in his fingers the way she did?

“thanks. you know what i just realized? this is the last time we’ll ever be sitting here after school.”

“i know! before you got here, i was just thinking ‘this is the last time farkle will be late to a yearbook meeting!’ and i thought about how great it’ll be to not have to wait on you,” she teased, quickly putting aside her feelings. she was used to it by now.

“hey! i have a lot of things to do! and i’m not always late! and even if am late, i’m always here! riley, have i ever not been here for you when you need me?” he put his hand on her knee.

“no. you’re always here, farkle,” she said, trying to ignore her rapid heartbeat. “always.”

//

the yearbooks were being distributed and riley couldn’t help but feel a little emotional. she loved being editor and part of her didn’t ever want that to end. she looked around as the students passed their yearbooks to one another, pulling out pens and markers to sign them. they flipped through the pages and looked for themselves and their friends. she saw farkle walking towards her, yearbook in hand.

“hey, riley. sign my yearbook? you’re the last person i need a signature from." 

"of course! but, i’m going to need some time. this is, you know, the last time i will ever sign a yearbook for you and a simple 'see ya later! have a great summer!’ won’t do. do you mind if i keep it for the rest of the day?" 

"take as long as you need,” he said. 

“coincidentally, you’re also the last person i need a signature from." 

"well, if that’s the case, i’d like to take your yearbook for the day, as well, if it’s alright with you." 

"it most definitely is.”

//

farkle, we’ve been friends since… no, too predictable. 

i want to thank you for being my friend… no, too formal. 

let’s always stay in touch… yikes. 

dearest farkley,… okay, no. you cannot start telling him you love him by calling him farkley. just speak from the heart, matthews. come on. you can do it.

farkle,  your presence in my life has meant the world to me. i know you’ve loved me since the first grade. and you know i love you, but it’s time you know how. i’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out, even sorrier it took me this long to let you know. i love you with no restrictions, limits, or restraints. in turtlenecks and in black hoodies. on earth, pluto, mars, or any other planet in every other galaxy. i never want you not in my life. my mom told me once that love is a choice. it’s choosing someone over and over. well, if that’s true, then you’re the only choice. no contest. you make everything better and brighter. i love you. i’m in love with you. always, riley

she put her pen down and sighed. what was done was done. she wrote it down and there was no going back now. 

riley dreaded the next day at school. she walked into the building and saw her friends standing by her dad’s classroom. she locked eyes with farkle and swore she couldn’t feel her legs anymore. by the end of the day, he’d know how she felt.

“hey, here you go.” he handed over the yearbook. "are you done writing yet? i’m really looking forward to reading what you wrote me.“ 

"i am, but can you promise me something?" 

"anything." 

"don’t read it until you get home.”

“is everything okay?" 

"everything’s fine. just promise me, please?" 

"i promise.”

she gave him his yearbook and the matter was officially out of her hands.

//

“he’s probably already read it, maya,” riley declared. 

the pair were sitting in the bay window, with riley’s head in maya’s lap. 

“no, he hasn’t. he’s farkle. he promised. and we know he’s not home yet, so he hasn’t read it." 

"he read it and he doesn’t feel the same and he feels weird and i ruined our friendship and everyone’s plans for the summer and nothing will ever be the same ever again and it’s all my fault and–" 

"breathe, riles! i’m sure only one of those things is true." 

"which one?" 

"nothing will ever be the same, but for the better. trust me." 

"maya, i need farkle in my life. what if he doesn’t need me?” she asked quietly. 

“farkle needs you just as much, maybe more,” she assured her. 

“i gotta get going, honey. i’ll be back tomorrow morning. call me if you need anything.”

“thanks, peaches. be safe.”

maya climbed out the window and disappeared from view. riley took her yearbook out of her backpack and sat on her bed. she flipped through the pages for the millionth time. when riley had first read farkle’s note in her yearbook, she found it hard not to be upset. what he’d written was lovely, but far from the declaration of love she’d hoped he’d write to match her own.

she leaned back and stared at the ceiling. there was nothing riley could do but wait.

//

after a while, she heard her window open.

“you’re back already, maya?” she asked without looking. 

“umm… no,” he said. 

“farkle. hi,” she said as she sat up. 

“hi,” he said. he took a seat next to her and said nothing else. 

riley couldn’t wait for him to break the silence anymore. “listen, i know i shouldn’t have written all that. we’ve been friends for years and i don’t want that to change and if—" 

"riley!" 

"yes?”

“can i talk?" 

"okay." 

"we’ve been friends for a very long time. we’ve grown up together. and as we’ve grown, a lot of things have changed. we’ve all learned and evolved and had all these experiences, but there’s one thing that hasn’t ever changed. i don’t think i realized it until recently, but maybe part of me has always known. i never said anything because after all this time i never thought you’d feel the same, but i have been in love with you since the first grade, riley. i always will be." 

"really?” was all riley could say. her eyes were bright. 

“really.” he smiled and held her hand. 

“so, where do we go from here? i mean, we graduate in a few weeks. we have the summer, and then what?" 

"i don’t know. but for now? you and me? that sounds perfect." 

"you and me,” she confirmed, “and maya."