#rhodeypepper

Tony freezes with a donut halfway to his mouth. A few sprinkles fall off the top. “You panicked? Pepper Potts panicked?”

“I panic sometimes! It happens.”

“This is a really weird way to panic.”

She groans and sits down heavily in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “I told her we were moving the main office to New York, but I may have...not told her we were dating yet.”

“Because you’re ashamed of me?”

“Because we’re keeping it under wraps until the Stark Tower project is announced! You agreed with me on that.”

“Yeah, but it’s your mother—”

“Who hates you.”

Tony sets his donut down, considering the problem. Truth be told, Mrs. Potts was kind of scary. And she did hate him. The less he had to meet with her, the better.

“Can’t you just say you broke up?” he suggests.

“In two weeks?”

“It happens.”

Pepper gives him a look that says her mother will definitely not believe that. Mrs. Potts is the very definition of nosy, he’d learned that the hard way years ago.

He shrugs, shoving a bite of donut into his mouth. “Okay then. Bring Rhodey to meet your mom.”

“Oh yeah, because he’s going to love that idea.”

“Pepper, that’s...” Rhodey looks like he’s trying not to look amused, and Pepper reminds herself not to be offended. It is a terribly silly predicament. She probably shouldn’t even have asked. “Sure, I’ll meet your mother.”

She stares at him. “You do realize I mean as my boyfriend?”

“I heard you explain the first time.” Rhodey grins, clearly way more amused about this than she is. “I think you’re better off just telling her you lied, but I’ll do it.”

“I am not telling my mother I lied to her,” she says, shuddering. She’d never hear the end of it.

“Does Tony know about this?”

“He wants to come with us so he can see it ‘crash and burn.’ His words.”

“Is that a good idea? I thought your mom hated him.”

Pepper groans and covers her face with her hands.

Laughing, Rhodey pats her on the shoulder. “Look, it’s just a few days, right? One lunch, in and out, she’ll never suspect a thing. And then we can have a really dramatic breakup.”

“The last thing I need is for my mother to think Tony stole me away from ‘that charming Air Force gentleman’ or something,” Pepper says wryly. “But thanks, Jim. I appreciate it.”

Rhodey’s right, it’s only going to be a day. How bad could it be?

Once in New York she books them a lunch reservation at a nice restaurant, and the day of her mother’s visit Rhodey meets them there, all dressed up and presentable and polite. He doesn’t act like anything’s weird at all, even gives Pepper a kiss on the cheek as he greets her, and Pepper’s surprisingly okay with all of it. Her mother, as expected, loves James, and makes a comment about how he’s nothing like “that terrible boss of yours, Virginia.” Pepper has to hide her laugh behind her wine glass.

And then Tony shows up.

“Fancy meeting you here!” he greets them loudly, a big grin plastered on his face, right under the sunglasses he wears inside buildings when he wants to look like an asshole. Pepper’s going to take those sunglasses and stomp on them. “This is the best place to get brunch, don’t you agree?”

“Mom,” Pepper says very carefully, not taking her eyes off Tony, just daring him to try something stupid, “you remember Mr. Stark.”

“Mrs. Potts,” Tony says cheerfully, taking her mother’s hand and kissing the back of it. “Mind if I join you?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer as he drags a chair over and sits on it backwards. Pepper looks at Rhodey, who’s already looking at her, and they both have to stifle a laugh. She knows Tony’s just getting her back for not fessing up to her mother in the first place, but she’s still going to kill him later. Maybe after the Stark Tower announcement hype dies down.

“You know, I’m kind of offended you asked Rhodey to meet your mom and not me,” Tony’s still going on, looking at Pepper now. “Why would that be?”

“Maybe it’s because we’re very obviously dating,” Rhodey responds before she can, completely straight-faced, and oh God, she’s going to have to kill Rhodey too. She’ll have to go on the run in South America.

“We’ve already met, Mr. Stark,” Mrs. Potts says in the tone Pepper knows means she’s not impressed at all. “Perhaps you were too drunk to remember it.”

Tony doesn’t even flinch. “I’d never forget someone as lovely as you, Mrs. Potts. Clearly I know now where Pepper gets her good looks.”

Pepper tries to kick him under the table, but he’s too far away. Rhodey does it for her, from the irritated sound Tony makes, and she smiles at Rhodey in thanks.

Her mother gives all of them a puzzled look. “Is everything all right here?”

“Everything’s peachy, Mrs. Potts,” Tony says, turning his dazzling smile back on her. “Have you ever had the tiramisu here? It’s fantastic.”

“Tony,” Rhodey interjects before Mrs. Potts can answer, and okay, maybe she won’t have to kill Rhodey too. “Don’t you have...a thing to get to?”

“Nope, canceled everything for the day. How could I miss hanging out with my favorite people, the lovely Mrs. Potts and my Rhodeybear?” He looks over at Pepper. “Oh yeah, and you.”

Pepper snorts and nearly chokes on her wine, quickly putting the glass down out of the way so she’s not tempted any further. Rhodey is staring at the ceiling, but he’s grinning. Her mother meanwhile looks increasingly confused, and Pepper sighs, figuring she should just come clean before Tony did anything stupid.

Before she can decide, Tony’s phone buzzes, and he checks the screen, groaning at whatever shows up. “Scratch that, duty calls. Try the tiramisu, Mrs. Potts, I’m not kidding.” He stands, pocketing his phone. “Bye, honey.”

And then he leans down and kisses Rhodey.

Pepper can’t help it—she finally laughs out loud as her mother lets out a confused “What?”

Tony doesn’t even slow down, waving goodbye over his shoulder as he walks away. Rhodey is trying to keep a straight face, but he’s doing a poor job of it, and Pepper sighs and throws her napkin down on the table. So much for keeping things under wraps.

“I had to explain to my mother what was going on, like, ten times because of you,” Pepper grumbles later that night, tucked up against Tony’s side on the couch in their penthouse suite. Rhodey’s curled up on Tony’s other side, enjoying what time he has left in the city before he ships out again. He reaches over Tony and pats Pepper on the hand.

“At least your mom still likes you. I think she’s grouped me in the ‘troublesome’ category with Tony now.”

“In my defense,” Tony says, then stops, because he has zero defense in this situation. It was just funny. “It’ll teach you to lie to your mom, I guess.”

“It would have been fine if you didn’t show up!” Pepper retorts, and Tony just shrugs.

“Yeah, we were having fun,” Rhodey adds, laughing. “Your mom’s not bad, Pep.”

Pepper and Tony both groan, and Tony lets his head drop back against the couch, eyes shut. “She’s a nightmare,” Pepper agrees with his assessment, “when she’s being nosy. What do you mean you were having fun?”

Rhodey looks at her over Tony’s head, smile fading slightly. “You weren’t?”

“I mean, I thought it was an imposition. For you.”

“No, of course not!” Rhodey shakes his head. “Being your fake date was fine.”

Tony cracks an eye open, glancing between the two of them and this interesting development.

Pepper purses her lips thoughtfully. “Just fine?”

The two of them stare at each other, neither saying anything. Unable to take it anymore, Tony sits up and breaks the silence.

“How about you two go on a date that’s not fake? No mothers involved.”

Pepper startles, like she’d forgot he was there. “Tony.”

“I’m serious.” He holds up his hands, index fingers together in the shape of an arrow, then connects his thumbs. “I wouldn’t mind closing the triangle.”

Rhodey laughs, batting Tony’s hands away. “I mean. He has a point. If you’re interested?”

Pepper looks between them, trying to decide if this is a joke or…

Rhodey must mistake her hesitation for rejection, because he quickly adds, “It’s all right, I get it. It’d be weird.”

“No, you know what? I would be interested.” She smiles and reaches over Tony for Rhodey’s hand, taking it in hers. “We never did get to try that tiramisu.”

Rhodey smiles back and gives her hand a squeeze.

“But you had better not show up,” she says to Tony, glaring at him, “until at least the third date.”

The place Pepper took him to did indeed put cucumber slices on his face, but Rhodey followed Tony’s lead and ate them instead. Still, it was a real nice place, no surprise there, and Rhodey found himself relaxing almost instantly. It was good, just taking a day not to stress about work or the Avengers or his family. Just him, his thoughts, and the extremely talkative woman who kept complimenting his bone structure as she put some sort of goop on his face.

“Enjoying yourself?” Pepper asked him, coming to sit beside him, and dammit, she definitely sounded smug.

Unfortunately, he was too relaxed to even put up much of a fight. “The massage was nice,” he conceded, cracking an eyelid open to glance at her for confirmation and yep, she was grinning at him.

“Feeling up for a pedicure, or are you going to just melt right out of that chair?”

“That remains to be seen,” he muttered, but he pushed himself up into more of a sitting position to avoid sliding off the seat. “Do I really need a pedicure if no one’s going to see my feet?”

“Yes. Trust me.”

And, well, he did trust Pepper. So he waited until all the mysterious goop was cleaned off his face, then went with her to another room where the chairs were once again sinfully comfortable and he was offered everything from juice to hard liquor as he settled in. Rhodey politely declined the drinks, but Pepper was already sipping a margarita, raising an eyebrow at him when he turned to look.

“What? It’s my day off.”

He raised his hands placatingly. “I didn’t say anything.”

Pepper just hummed in response and took another sip of her drink.

Surprisingly, the pedicure was just as relaxing as everything else had been. He probably should have known better than to be skeptical of Pepper and Tony’s taste in relaxation methods. Whatever else you could say about them, they had good taste. Most of the time.

Pepper looked like she might drift off to sleep right there with her margarita in her hand, so Rhodey leaned over and gently took the glass from her.

“Hey,” he said, voice soft, when she slowly blinked and looked around in a bit of a daze. “Next time you get a day off, I wouldn’t mind coming around here with you again.”

She smiled at him, soft and warm, and reached out. Thinking she wanted her margarita back, he held out the glass for her, but she took it away so she could take his hand in hers instead.

“I’d be happy to bring you,” she said, smiling brightly. Her thumb rubbed over his knuckles, making his skin tingle, and he smiled back, squeezing her hand in return. Then she looked down, caught sight of the state of his nails, and said, “Manicure next.”

“We’re not letting you win just so we don’t have to suffer through your cooking,” Pepper says, but she lithely slips from the couch and lands at the edge of the Twister mat. Rhodey sighs but follows her, rolling off the couch as well.

“I don’t want you to let me win,” Tony replies, giving the spinner a flick. “I’m going to win fair and square. Right hand blue.”

Pepper smiles and places her right hand on one of the blue circles. She may be tipsy but she’s confident she can beat Tony and Rhodey in a game of Twister. Tony flicks the spinner again, then calls out,

“Left foot green.”

She giggles again as she ends up facing away from the center of the mat. “If either of you touch my ass that’s cheating.”

“It’s only cheating if we knock you over,” Tony retorts, right as a hand gives her ass a squeeze.

“Wasn’t me,” Rhodey says unnecessarily as he gives the spinner a turn. “Right foot on red.”

Pepper shifts her foot easily, glaring over her shoulder at Tony to prevent him from groping her again. Luckily she didn’t have to, because it’s Tony who lets out a yelp and wobbles slightly.

“It’s only cheating if we knock you over,” Rhodey repeats, grinning at Pepper over Tony’s shoulder. She grins back while Tony just pouts and spins the arrow.

“Left hand yellow, that’s boring.” He spins it again. “Left hand red. Better.”

Pepper twists to touch the red circle, feeling a bit like a runner at the beginning of a race. Still, it’s not that hard to stay upright even with Tony and Rhodey sharing the mat. “This will last forever at this rate.”

“No it won’t, because I’ll win.” Tony drags the spinner closer and flicks it again. “Rhodey, I swear to god — ”

“What? Normally you like it when I touch your butt.”

“Right hand yellow,” Pepper calls lightly before Tony can argue, then pauses. With Tony right behind her, reaching for yellow is a little trickier. She rotates a little more, back towards the other two, and bats Tony’s hand out of the way of the yellow dot she was going for.

“Cheater, Pepper’s cheating.”

“You wanted to play the game, Tony,” Rhodey says, and carefully reaches for the spinner now. “Right foot blue.”

All Pepper has to do is draw her foot back, but Tony seems to be having a harder time, his limbs tangled up with Rhodey’s. Neither of them had fallen yet, but it looked like a close thing.

“How did that even happen?” she asks, looking surprised.

“Rhodey keeps trying to cut me off,” Tony says with a frown, while Rhodey just grins and tries to muffle his laughter against his shoulder. “Pepper, you might have to spin.”

Tony kicks the spinner toward her, and Pepper gingerly gives it a spin. “Left foot red,” she reads, and Tony groans loudly.

Rhodey doesn’t even give him a chance, just sweeps his foot around to the red dots and knocks Tony’s limbs right out from under him. Tony goes down, but he pulls Rhodey down with him, determined not to let such an act go unpunished. They land in a heap on the Twister mat, leaving Pepper still (mostly) standing.

“Guess I win,” she says with a shrug, and bellyflops across the both of them.

On the bottom of the pile, Tony lets out a little ‘oomph’ and tries to push the two of them off him. “You guys just had to go and ruin my game of Twister.”

“I think it was a very good attempt,” Pepper replies. She sits back so Rhodey can get up and reaches for one of the wine bottles, checking if there’s any left.

Tony frowns, holding his hand out for the bottle. “You’re just saying that because you won.”

“I think you’re just jealous,” Rhodey says, snatching the bottle and taking a swig before Tony can get a hold on it. He catches Pepper’s eye and grins at her.

“And you’re a dirty cheater.”

Rhodey stretches out beside Tony on the mat, running his fingers along the strip of skin visible where Tony’s shirt has ridden up. Pepper takes the bottle back from him and settles at Tony’s other side.

“Can you blame him? You look better on your back,” she says, licking a drop of wine from the rim of the bottle before putting it aside.

Tony’s cheeks flush pink, probably an effect of all the wine, but Pepper appreciates it anyway. “You two had this planned all along.”

“More like since thirty seconds ago,” Rhodey corrects him. Pepper nods and leans in for a kiss, letting Tony watch as she thanks Rhodey for cooperating.