WHAT A GREAT QUESTION ANON, jess and chatted some about this earlier so we can drop in some of her kids too since i figure this is probably mostly a maggot boy-related ask so ok let’s see WELL

davey would absolutely main reinhardt and be Way Too Aggressive about it and constantly charge straight into the enemy team and die but also be fucking terrifying any time he gets nanoboosted

chainey has a high twitch reflex would be pretty decent at mccree but also enjoy going support (zen and ana) (and would probably be pissed at davey every match for overextending)

sam would play pharah 100% for her aesthetic (mechsuit babe hell yes)

owen would fucking instalock junkrat and spawn camp at every opportunity, sometimes also play genji (you know, red team genji who is always behind your team murdering your healer, always has his ult, and is impossible to hit)

parker would be a mercy one trick who gets super salty about his team being idiots and makes a deadly battle mercy when cornered

micah (straight from the jess’s mouth) “plays characters too technical for him and ragequits when it doesn't work out but refuses to budge,” so he’s that sombra on your team that spends the whole match hacking the same health pack way across the map that no one uses, getting shot out of stealth, and translocating off the side of the map

bastian plays widow

deacon fills but spends every game ragging on bastian (”they have a d.va and a winston fucking switch” “get on the point you wad” “are you gonna get a pick or what”)

reth has “0 strategy 0 plan games arent fun unless you're mashing and playing tank”

Reth tossed her ombre mass of hair back and gave her surroundings a cursory glance. It was always a pain in the ass regaining her bearings after what she affectionately referred to as a case of “the hungies”, periods of hunger in which she lost all sense of self and often came to face-deep in someone’s torso, miles from where she’d started, but she’d become seasoned at the recovery over the last however long she’d been wandering the wastes.

Written content for September 2017 is up! In which Reth makes a friend. Content warning for cannibalism, body horror, gore and imprisonment.

dead girls do it well