#restrospective

Say what you want about BBC Sherlock, I absolutely freaking love the version of Lestrade we got - cause he's prolly the relatable realistic character in the show I could think of - he just wanted to get the job done and he was living that life where he was just looking to get that cleared out and just continue with the rest of the day - that is a total mood tbh - like yeah man - you go - And also like we didn't see a Lestrade that was grounded and less of a comic relief - so this was refreshing and also Rupert Graves!

When KHUX ended, I was relieved but also disappointed with the finale. I was invested in the story and wanted it to have a satisfying conclusion. It was the complete opposite for me. Despite my discontent with the finale, KHUX is arguably the best written story within the Kingdom Hearts series. I'm not the only one with this opinion either. KHUX's story made the series better. What's wild is it's mobile game, but that's also a major downside.

KHX introduced mountains of lore and backstory while simultaneously setting up the next phase. This is stuff YOU CAN'T IGNORE if you're invested in the overarching story of the series. Unfortunately, this is all locked behind a mobile game which is a turn-off. I think KHUX would've worked better as a manga or novel series. Doesn't seem like the type of story you'd want to tell through a web/mobile game (...for eight years) but I digress.

What I liked about the story was the dark themes. There was death, loss, fear, betrayal, deceit, survival, sacrifice and despair. The Master of Masters is revealed to be a ruthless sociopath and everyone suffers because of him. But you learn and understand why and what his motives are. The Darkness wants to destroy everything which, despite being overly simplistic and cliche, makes them terrifying. You can feel how much of a threat they are especially with how brutal Strelitzia's death was. Everyone is a prisoner of fate — a fate forced upon them — and all they can do is unknowingly play their roles.

Those are some of the things that grabbed me. It's heavy. It's tragic. More importantly though, it makes you care about the story and the characters. People can relate to those things too. Almost everyone has lost someone, been betrayed/lied to, and felt trapped and not in control. That's what makes the story engaging to me. That said, the characters aren't all that. Aside from a small few, they were dry and had little to no substance. Although, that's not surprising given who wrote them. I'll keep it 100. As much as I liked Brain, he was just the "info dump guy" most of the time.

The build-up to the finale was the best I've seen in the series. Everything seemed like it was coming together. Each update progressed the story and added elements that made the overarching plot much bigger than anyone could've imagined. There was a significant weight to the story that got heavier as the Master of Masters' true intentions began to unfold, and Strelitzia's death was uncovered. For a moment, I thought to myself "this is the one". And then the finale happened. My investment in the story died after the finale.

I don't like what happened with Brain. I think the "Player is Xehanort" twist was unnecessary. The 'brotherly love' thing Lauriam tried with Ventus was weird. Strelitzia's death was undone. In fact, everyone who's dead can be revived via their data. Even better — when someone dies, they can reincarnate. Lauriam instantly forgave everyone for hiding Strelitzia's supposed death from him. Elrena was there because the plot said so. Lastly, the threat of the Darkness was reduced to nothing. Basically, and this is my opinion, the finale was the antithesis of what came before it.

It wasn’t all bad though. There was stuff I did like such as the Union Leaders interaction and battle with Darkness. I enjoyed the last scenes (and battle) with the Player, Ephemer and Skuld. Every scene with the Master of Masters and Darkness or Luxu was entertaining. Ephemer and Skuld's final moments were sweet. Ventus stepping to 'Darkness' was a cool moment. Ephemer did his thing with Scala ad Caelum (even though I think it should've been Brain). And lastly, the Player's sacrifice was the perfect send-off. They had the best ending until the reincarnation thing.

For the past few years (2015-2021), i think many of you have noticed that i've started to use Tumblr less and less, i've since become more active on other platforms like Twitter, because Twitter was where people where, and a part of the joy of creativity for me is seeing people's reactions to my works, after all, seeing the happiness my work can give people is a large part of my motivation and money to survive and pay the rent in our difficult world. To me personally, Tumblr started to feel more and more like a "corporate graveyard", something it didn't use to be. The reason i was attracted to Tumblr was because people told me to use it, weirdly enough, i fell into pear pressure, but i think now as an adult, i am starting to understand what i liked about Tumblr's "vibe" Tumblr always felt really accepting in a way, even when i wasn't ready for it myself yet, Tumblr's "vibe" has always been very progressive, pro-LGBT+, and open about mental health issues, unlike many other websites. But there was a special kind of magic about the pre-2014-Dashcon era, i think Tumblr used to be more "cohesive", like there was some kind of unspoken unity and solidarity, or maybe that's just my nostalgia blindness. Now in 2021, it's been...7-8 years since i've experienced that era on Tumblr, and funnily enough, i kind of feel like i would have been able to enjoy it better at my current age, because back then, i wasn't really ready to accept myself yet, but now i feel like i would appreciate it. After 2015, and after Tumblr got handed out to different companies like crazy, and the NSFW ban, i always felt like the "culture" and "vibe" of Tumblr changed gradually, it became more "corporate friendly", less "emotional goth indie hipster coffee", more "prude soulless suit", and as someone who grew up in the height of emo/edge culture (the friendly emotional teen kind, not the mean edgy kind), that transition of "vibes" always kind of felt disappointing to me, not because i feared getting older, but because Tumblr was an interesting combination of a "time capsule" of that friendly type of edginess (unlike other websites), counter-culture, and openness about progressive/LGBT+/mental health topics, but also really funny jokes (we call them "shitposts" now, but they used to have more meat to them imo), Tumblr was that kind of chaotically funny friend who would also listen to you when you are an emotional wreck, that was Tumblr's "vibe", as seen by my, admittedly, millennial nostalgia goggles that is. Oh god, i'm a millennial But yeah, slowly, i felt like people just kind of...moved away from Tumblr, to other sites, like Twitter. But let me tell you, Twitter is a fucking shitshow, like, let's be real, Twitter isn't well moderated at all. I used to think Tumblr was a "drama hole", but honestly, Twitter takes the cake, there are way too many negative things on Twitter, especially political fights are a big thing, it becomes very draining on my mental health to see that every day, so i've muted a lot of words on it. I've been thinking back about the past a little, about my journey as a composer and as an artist, and one place i feel like i've overlooked in that internal retrospectieve is Tumblr, Tumblr is...nostalgic, it used to be a very different place than it is now, but i felt very inspired by it at times. Remember that one time before Undertale for example? Where i made an arrange of one of Toby Fox's song, and he just reblogged it? That's still one of my favourite memories on this website. But yeah, aside from personal moments, i also really enjoyed a lot of the site's humour, there were just so many enjoyable posts here (Tumblr University and voiceovers and cool random stories where people keep adding new stuff always caught my attention), you just don't have the same type of "vibe" on other websites, Tumblr was an unique place were i've made a lot of nice memories, and i'd like to remember it for the good things, not the bad things (because of course there's bad things on Tumblr lol). If you've actually read this; thank you, have a nice

Rating:

General Audiences

Archive Warning

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

Gen

Fandom:

Merlin (TV)

Relationship:

Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Characters:

Merlin (Merlin)

Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Additional Tags:

Mentioning of Morgaus

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin)

Worried Merlin (Merlin)

Fix-It

Episode: s02e08 The Sins Of The Father

Retrospective

Short One Shot

Listening to this ‘brown eyed soul’ from newcomer Los Retros, just makes me think of LA in so many ways...thanks for making me nostalgic homez, thanks a lot! “Never Have Enough” of...the beach, tacos on the PCH, casual socials, did I say the beach?, my familia, my amigos, H’wood Bowl for any show, n’ the list is long...but not the 405 traffic!

Hi tumblr!  This is apparently my 5000th post!  This tells me that I really need to find something better to do with my time (I kid... mostly).  I figured I’d dive back through some archives to celebrate this ginormous milestone.  Below is the very first thing I wrote in long-form for Val, with an assist from my lovely spouse.  This dates from about 2011, but I tightened up the prose and overall, I’m pretty pleased with the results.

Several of the characters who will come up have long been retired for me.  Evraine was Cymrych’s housekeeper for YEARS, until she ran off to Tyr’s Hand.  The twins Coren and Rowanne are still toddlers because then, the timeline worked differently.  Hani is young and strong and has no children of her own yet - so a very differently set of circumstances than they’re all in now.

Anyway, I’ll keep working on this - it’s long, but hopefully gives some perspective on Val and why she is the way she is. :)

The highlands of Arathi were colder than the older woman remembered from her youth; she pulled her shawl more more tightly around her shoulders as she swept the dirt off of the porch. The last time Evraine been in the area she’d been … somewhere in her mid- twenties, she thought, and even then she’d only been passing through with her family to get somewhere more important. These lands were rougher now, with orcs and trolls lurking off in the distance, and the ruins of Stromgarde uncomfortably close.

Evra shook her head, also shaking herself out of her reverie… what good was it, to think about the awful history around and not her tasks at hand? Annoyed with herself, the housekeeper to Cymrych O’Brien savagely swept at the porch’s dusty floor, concentrating with laser focus on the tiny mudprints left behind by her charges.  The twins, now fully mobile, had been running amok all day and tracking mud, dirt and Light-knew-what into the house.

She sighed to herself as she eradicated the traces of one little footprint after another, mourning for her lost routine. When Cymrych had been off to war, it was just her, Coren, and Rowanne.  There was order, structure to all their lives... Now that Cymrych was around full-time, everything had changed.  Doors were constantly opening and closing (and slamming), something she'd yet to get used to, and there was always a dwarf about, or a still malfunctioning, or someone elses’ mess to clean up.  The knight’s girlfriend didn’t help things, either.  She didn’t cook for herself, and Hani’s presence disrupted the already chaotic nature of Hill House even further.

The broom swept over one last footprint, knocking a wooden toy aside. Evra clucked disapprovingly and bent down to retrieve it.  A shock of greying, apricot-colored hair fell into her face, and she was brushing it out of the way when some movement out of the corner of her eye stopped her. Clutching the handle a little more tightly, she stood up, pocketed the toy, turned around, and then squinted to focus on whatever far-off thing had caught her attention. In the distance, a shape was moving, coming closer to the house. Its walk was slightly off, but as it got closer and rambled around the wide country lane, Evraine could see that the figure was human.  At the very least, it was human-ish.  Dressed in dark colors, cloaked, and hooded, there was something familiar about the traveller that she couldn’t quite put her finger on...

Hani, Evra thought, with a rush of relief.  The young knight was due for a visit any day now, and Evra had seen her in traveling garb enough to pick her out at a distance.  The height and general unkemptness of this travelling stranger were absolutely spot on.  As it got closer, though, the housekeeper’s doubts began to creep back in. The height was right, but the dark, baggy clothing couldn’t conceal the fact that the person inside was too thin to be the young, strong knight. Second, it’s walk wasn’t the stride of a tall, lively person. Their footsteps were halting, and the figure leaned upon its walking stick far too heavily for it to be purely ornamental.

An unexpected guest this far out seemed too coincidental; after all, who would go all the way to Hill House unless they knew what they were looking for?  Evra had a chilling though, just then, and froze. The little wooden toy clutched in her hands, she left the broom by the door and went back inside the house. Cymrych was on the floor with the twins. Corin had pulled himself onto his father's lap and was trying to talk to him, using mostly nonsense words. Rowanne, who hadn't started speaking yet, noticed the her caretaker first and moved towards her, looking up at Evra with her large, light eyes.  She wanted up. "Cymrych," Evraine began, scooping the little girl into her arms. "Someone's outside, and coming towards the house. You, ah… you might want to go out there and see what they want." She ducked her out the door briefly to gauge how far off the visitor was - they still had some time, but if she needed to get the children and staff to safety... “It’s a woman, I think.  And… sick.  Perhaps worse.  Can you take a look?” As usual - or perhaps more accurately, as always - Cymrych was oblivious to his housekeeper/nanny's subtle quirks. It wasn't that he couldn't notice them, simply that he didn't feel it was worth the effort. Evraine’s service was a bargain, as far as he was concerned, and she’d done an admirable job with the twins while he'd been busy in the north. She was still performing well, even with his getting in the way now and then and the sudden shift in scenery to Arathi. Maybe she deserved a raise... Still, her words penetrated quickly enough, and he sighed heavily and set aside the white-haired boy with bright blue eyes, then clambered to his feet. "Guess I should put some shoes on, then." He jammed his workboots on, not bothering with the buckles, and grabbed the old hunting rifle hanging over the door. Paladins weren't supposed to use anything so unchivalrous, but he'd been the son of a wealthy family long before he'd been forced into the Order, and that had taught him any number of things he wouldn't have learned any other way. He went outside, giving Evraine a good-natured grin before closing the door. There, he struck a pose, rifle-butt grounded like a staff, his hand on the barrel. Some things, Cymrych knew, were very important when dealing with a stranger in a strange place. It helped that he was plenty burly from working the forge; troublemakers tended to think twice before bothering someone like that. In this case, though, he wanted his message to be clear: this is my house and I'm prepared to defend it, but I'm not going to shoot you unless I have to.

"Hello there," he called, once the figure was nearly to the house’s gate. "This is an awfully out-of-the-way place, so either you're looking for me or you're incredibly talented at getting lost. Which is it, and what can I do for you?"

The man's booming, baritone voice made the figure stop in its tracks.  The head tilted up; the high sun caught a few wisps of black hair and a flash from an eye.  Underneath, Vara considered what her next move would be. Was it worth it to keep walking and risk getting shot?  Or would it be more efficient to attempt to bring her voice - naturally softspoken in life and starting to fail now in death - to a volume that would sufficiently carry?

It - she - leaned on her walking stick for a moment in thought, then came to a decision. "Is this the house of Cardinal Cymrych O'Brien?" The woman’s voice was raspy, thin, accented in the crisp way of someone from far eastern Lordaeron. "My name is Variya. I'm coming from Light's Hope Chapel - the, er - the Argent Crusade directed me here. I was informed..."

She trailed off, her voice disappearing for a few moments, not like someone in thought but more as if her vocal cords needed the rest. "... I was informed that you were the highest-ranked cloth in the area.  Also, I’m unarmed." 

She set down her walking stick and held out her arms wide to show nothing but bony arms and gloved hands. Hopefully that was non-threatening enough. To someone like Cymrych, Vara wouldn’t be physically imposing in the slightest; she looked - and was - quite breakable.  The Lordaeronian girl’s strengths lay in her force of will and ability to summon forth and weave arcana, but at that moment, Variya D’Astorio wasn't there to cast anything.

Devon Aoki 

Marcus Mam