#respond please

School has been so draining I genuinely don't know what to even do. We keep trying to resort back to harming ourselves, harming others, even starving ourselves. But it just never helps anymore. We're so out of it every single day it even has began to be hard to take notes, to talk to anyone. We just want to go home and throw up every single day, hoping it may make us feel better, make our sickness go away, make the light headedness and our own feelings just go away. It all doesn't work anymore though, I know I have to confront my own feelings soon, too, which scares us. We can barely even talk about our own fucking feelings without clamming up and freaking out, worried that the person we're venting to is going to hurt or abandon us. Everything hurts that it should't be expected for some reason but it has a reason, our thighs fresh with still bleeding cuts, our hands from digging our nails into stuff, our own lungs from just walking. Everything feels hard to do, even simple walking. Our lungs feel as if they are being stabbed every time we do walk or run, even if it is for a short time. We literally had a time where we weren't even anxious for anything and had what felt like a panic attack where we couldn't fucking breathe out of no where. I hate this so much, I just wish we were normal.