#resilientboned

i love one (1) girl

        he’s been searching for a particular white flower that his new project would be based on.  he spent several minutes looking at the different flowers, pretending to have everything under control, because he wasn’t much of a person to ask for the assistant’s help.  he knew what it looked like ; he had to be able to find it.  but he didn’t.  

        he thought the store might have run out of them, but could it be?  gardenias aren’t that popular   ---  not as much as roses, at least.  he sighed, admitting to himself that he should use the assistance  --- it was her job, after all.  he turned his attention to the shop assistant, quick to address his request. 

          A gentle touch, one that gives him exactly what yearned for — a smirk, rough knuckles meet soft. Oh.  Breathing ceases, gleam in his eyes practically begging. Digit delves deeper, eyes focused on the pucker of her lips as he slowly pulls away, pad of his index finger gliding over to moisten saccharine lips. 

“how?”

thomas doesn’t even need to think about his answer. he knows how everything got screwed up. he can pinpoint the exact moment that his life changed for the worse -- and though most people would think it was the day his wife died, he disagrees. the turning point was much before then. things began to go downhill even before he lost her.

he remembers vacations when it had just been the two of them. june, a blunt in one hand, flame-bright hair riding the wind as they sped along empty roads with the windows down. their wedding, their honeymoon, when everything had been wonderful, so wonderful--

         and then he remembers the cold dread that settled deep inside him the minute june told him that they were expecting. we’re going to be parents, thomas. he remembers wishing that it was some practical joke, and how once she’d said the words, everything had changed. they couldn’t be so carefree anymore, because they had someone else to think about. and now, he and he alone has to think about her. his life is utterly consumed by his worries about autumn and her reckless behaviour, and how much embarrassment she causes him. not for the first time, he catches himself wishing he’d taken the time to put on a goddamn rubber.

       and so, thomas takes a sip of his whiskey, chasing it down with a deep breath before he looks over at autumn, sad and disappointed and oh-so-tired.

People reach so hard