May 19, 2024
Why do I carry all that violence in my heart?
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Why do I carry all that violence in my heart?
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me, trying to remember my life: wow so there was the Trauma™ and then blank spaces around it! Weird!
me: I remember I was friends with... WhatsTheirName. Wait.. this can’t be right, we were close for years, I can’t remember their name? Or anything we talked about? Huh. It couldn’t all have been non-important.
me, having a flashback about something that happened: How could I have Forgotten That? How Could I? That was Important! How could I not know about it! How many more! How many more do I not know about! Who am I? I don’t know my own life!
me, forgetting the said flashback: Huh. so nothing happened to me, ever. Oh, except the Trauma™. But I also remember the trauma in flashes and very vaguely and conceptually. Like maybe it didn’t happen to me or it happened in a dream. Hm. I’m sure this is normal.
IS THERE ANY WAY OF TELLING MY DAD TO STOP WATCHING PORN WITHOUT LETTING HIM KNOW I KNOW HE'S WATCHING PORN?!??!? HALP
Repress.
It's amazing what memories the human mind will hide from your conscious mind. Memories are often repressed and tossed to the side, no matter how relevant or important they may be.
I've recently discovered memories that I've been hiding from myself. Many of these memories you too have tucked away deep in the corners of your subconscious.
I've come to realize that most of these memories, no matter how painful they may be, have resurfaced for a reason. I realized that I need to step it up a notch and actually fix the problems that lie deep beneath the surface and I can only hope that once I do, you will have the motivation to do the same.
Just remember, the first step to recovery and moving on is admittance. With that, I bid you goodnight.