My new multichapter fic is "Repentance," a story that follows BBQ Ena as a solider and you (yes, you) as a nurse living on a military compound pre-canon. Check it out if that catches your attention!
It's rated mature because future chapters will include heavier material but are spoilers. Though, of course for safety with readers I will make sure to tag the fic (and will update them as they become pertinent) and I will explicitly mention what disturbing/triggering subjects will be a plot point in that chapter's notes. I can tell you though that nothing really disturbing will be prominent until chapter four at the earliest.
If that isn't a concern for you and you'd rather not know what might come up, ignore the tags after "Tags contain Spoilers" as well as any capitalized pre-chapter notes.
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When writing for Captain Briggs and First Lieutenant Morgan in Repentance I vaugely based them off of these guys. Michael Madsen isn't a perfect replica of FL Morgan in my head but the hat and like, southern-ish charm of his character in Kill Bill Vol 2 really influenced and built a base for him.
Andre Braugher was such a phenomenal actor too, I only ever saw him in Brooklyn Nine-Nine but he was one of my favorite characters. Stern and just automatically commanding authority- it was exactly the kind of vibe I needed for my Captain character. Though I (purposely) never wrote him to be as lovable as Captain Holt was.
Set a year after the first fic's epilogue, Disillusion is about grief, guilt and love as life goes on despite it all. It's not always happy, it's not always perfect- but it is the two of you.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Yes! I got an ask I believe about like wanting more/wanting to see them happy so I was like "okay I'll put it on the 'to-do' list." Then I saw Iron Lung and got really inspired to write and I had the perfect opportunity for my inspiration to be utilized with Repentance Ena. From there I wrote some more and realized I was doing a bunch of telling-not-showing so then I was like "damn maybe I should just write more of this and explore these ideas."
Plus it'll be nice to have a more serious/real world oriented writing peice to work on despite it still being.... Yk, x reader fanfic LMAO. So I guess horror movies really lead to some good inspiration because that's how Refractions in Water Below was born too.
Anyways if you don't have time to read allat:
Yes, I'm going to write a Repentance sequel fic! I don't know how long it'll be but most definitely shorter. Probably like five chapters at most but we'll see 😋 It'll be centered around life after the epilogue. ETA? ... I can't commit to timelines so just ask your magic 8 ball and it'll probably be right.
Chapter nine is finished I think so now I'm just finishing ten to be as strong as possible. I'm hoping I can deliver the ending before this week ends.
Again, thank you for your patience!
Under the cut is a snip from the next chapter.
“You’re not worried about being caught here again and again?” You ask, your brows pressed closer as you watch the woman before you cleaning her son up. He’s held in a wide rimmed, metal bucket by your hands while Ena cleans him up with a washcloth, getting under his arms and along his neck thoroughly. It’s endearing to see how attentive she is, her face all focused on her task.
“I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me.” Ena says. You’d believe her if she wasn’t such a hard ass in front of the other soldiers. So you quirk a brow. “Yeah?”
She spares you a glance before dunking the cloth and squeezing it out again. The sound of the water splashing back into the basin melds with the little “eep’s” and grumbles of the infant. “Yeah. Duke and Briggs are the only ones who would give me trouble anyways.”
You tut in amusement at her resolve and just let her have it. Maybe she changed her mind, more focused on hiding the baby than any weaknesses she may have. Or she's refusing to admit what you’ve picked up on, for that would be an exploitable vulnerability. Either way, it makes you feel a bit guilty for calling her selfish. In your hands, the baby rubs at his eyes again and you hear a frustrated sound from the darker haired woman. “Why does he do that so much, is he tired?”
Your lips purse before you snap your gaze to the boy. His dark eyes are still clouded all these days after his arrival. With how much he messes with them… you have a suspicion but are nowhere near qualified to diagnose him. You didn’t want to say anything definitively for the sake of worrying Ena unnecessarily, but she has asked outright and you don’t want to lie.
“He…” Your lips tug into a slight grimace. “I can’t diagnose anything for sure, he’s so young and pediatrics is not my specialty.” You feel Ena’s eyes blazing on you before you even look, intense and rigid despite how she tries to will her body to be otherwise. “But, it is possible that… he could, maybe be blind.” A pause. “Maybe.”
The skin below her water line tenses, giving her a weary and almost angry look. Her eyes snap back to the boy and she leans over him to look for herself. You swallow awkwardly and watch, knowing that’s all you can really do while she soaks it in. Her lips are drawn in a tight scowl but worry has made a home in her eyes. She rubs her thumb over his cheek before waving in front of his face.
“Ena… He… I don’t know. I could be very wrong. All babies don’t really track movement until they reach a few months old. You have to remember that he’s a little behind the race too.” You try to soothe her worries but she growls in frustration and drops her head.
“Fuck…” She utters. Her grip on the washcloth has grown tight, her knuckles losing their color from how hard she’s gripping it. Seeing this, you scoot closer and nudge your shoulder into her as your hands still hold the baby.
“Ena, I know. Not a fun thing to hear, but again, I can’t know for certain.” It’s painful to see her head dropped in defeat, her hand clutched in helpless agony. You try to twist your expression from worry into a gentle smile but it’s not like she’s looking at you anyways. She seems to be taking it quite hard. “He can still be a very, very happy boy.”
As if knowing he’s the topic of conversation, the little one lets out a soft sound. Or perhaps he’s trying to soothe his distressed mother. His itty bitty muscles flex under his soft, damp skin as he tries to scrunch in on himself. At the sound, Ena lifts her head but her expression is hidden to you by the dark curtain of her hair. She puts the cloth down in the basin and grabs the towel placed out for the boy. Silently, she takes him from your hands and wraps him carefully, always holding his head upright and stable as she works to dry him off and bundle him comfortably. After a few moments, she quietly asks, “Is it my fault?”
You frown as your heart fills to bursting with sympathy for her. But your response is level, soft and genuine. “No. It’s not.”
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Sighhhh still haven’t set up my account yet but HEHHEHE done w the fanart!! First one is how I envisioned her in chapter ten, though I’m not super happy with it soooo I’ll definitely be making more art once I work on it ^^ HOPE U DONT GET TOO BOTHERED BY ME CONSTANTLY DRAWING UR AU OF HER LOL I LOVEELOVELOVEEE UR FIC SMM!!!! >^<
THANK YOUU ‼️ THIS IS SO PRETTY, SHES SO PRETTY- Especially the hair for how she appeared in chapter ten, oh my god I love it. 😭😭 Thank you!!
I really appreciate you reading and the art you've been making! Send me or tag me in anything else you whip up, I'm so honored my fic stuck out enough for you to draw for it! 😭😭✨✨
The fact she never got to name him either.. WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH
Because it was designed that way...
But also since Humanboard doesn't have a like- human name I decided I was never gonna give him one. Do you know how hard you would have cringed to see "yeah let's name him George" or something. I mean no offence to the George's in the world lol but it's the same reason that while Ena should have had a different name in her human life, I didn't give her one.
