Dora from Remus's eyes

“But then why not leave?” Remus asked, imploringly. “If you know what he’s doing?”  

“We’ve lived out there too,” Cassandra said. “We know what it’s like out there. I… I had a husband. I thought he was the love of my life, young and stupid I suppose.” She cast Steve a look . Remus bites his tongue. “He left me before the bite closed. Husband gone, job gone. And then I found here. ” 

“It’s a shit hole.” One of the other werewolves said. Jerry, or something.

“It’s a place to lie low.” Cassandra corrected. “S’what I needed. What we all needed.” She fixed Remus with an intense look. “Have you ever lived with werewolves before coming here, wizard?” 

“No.” 

“See.” She held her hands out like he had just proven her point for her. At his confused look, she continued. “We can’t find each other out there.” 

          Raindrops were attacking windows of Tonks’ apartment like there is no tomorrow. Every now or then, a loud thunder sounded more like an explosion since the streets were empty, peaceful and quiet. Tonks was sound asleep. Actually, she hasn’t slept like that in days, maybe weeks. Remus Lupin was always her medicine, but he was also the reason she stayed up in the first place. Her lifeless arm fell from the bed, as she turned to lay on her stomach. Remus’ snores didn’t bother her anymore, better yet she grew to enjoy them. When he would stay the night with her, she would usually fall asleep after him. She couldn’t sleep without knowing he’s sleeping too, getting as many hours of rest as he could. And in that moment, both of them were so peaceful, calm, even though their bodies weren’t touching.

          Suddenly, Tonks was awake. A strong pull made by Remus pushed all the air from her lungs, since he grabbed her right around her torso. In fact, he pulled her so close that she could feel his steady heart beating right on her spine. His snoring instantly ended, and he was now breathing softly, burying his face in her hair. The scent of his breath, and his warmness suited Tonks, even though she didn’t like being woken up like that. She wiggled herself making him the perfect big spoon, tangling her legs with his.

          She smiled, not even noticing, as Remus’ left arm emerged under her pillow, and placing itself right on her left palm. Remus was in the deepest sleep he could possibly be, but still the feeling of her skin made his heart beat a bit faster. And for the first time, Tonks felt that. She felt what kind of influence she really has on him. Not emotionally, not sexually, but physically. This he couldn’t control, and he was the most self-controlled person she’s ever seen. He couldn’t also control his urge to grab her hand and intertwine his fingers with hers. Even in his most unconscious state, he had that need he mostly thought it was a curse. The need to feel her presence in any possible way.

          Tonks’ look was fixed on their now holding hands. She observed how his palms were bigger than hers, how his fingers were longer, and once again, she was surprised by how soft his hands were. Even with him being underground.

          “He’s beautiful” Tonks thought in the most sincere way possible. She smiled sleepily, still looking at their hands. She couldn’t believe he’s here.

          Her smile disappeared as soon as that thought penetrated her mind. He really is here. She hasn’t seen him in weeks, and he stopped sending her patronus messages too. He cut her off in the worst way possible, but she still didn’t give up on him. Because she knew he’ll be back, even in those moments she was frightened for his life.

          At that moment, all the feelings she kept inside ever since he left the first time overwhelmed her like a cold shower. The feeling of being abandoned, the insecurity in their relationship (if they even had one), the insecurity in his judgement, the feeling of being unwanted, even when she knew he wants her by his side.

          Those moments in his cottage after Sirius’ death and Gwen’s disappearance were only moments Tonks could honestly say she was content, even with all the awful things that happened. The question that was sitting in her mind constantly was why they couldn’t be that way all the time, without grieving of course. Those were one of those moments. She carried him, and he carried her. She knew that wasn’t only out of fear of being lonely, as he said the night he was leaving before. She knew that in those moments, she became the most important person in his life. And that scared Remus like hell, even though she couldn’t understand why.

          Tonks started playing with Remus’ fingers, kind of hoping he’ll wake up, but she knew that’s hardly possible. The thoughts of everything that happened couldn’t leave her mind, and she knew that sleeping is not an option now. She decided to gently roll on the other side, to see Remus’ face. His lips were slightly open, but he looked so calm. Tonks wiggled her hand from underneath the covers, and touched Remus’ cheek, gently caressing him.

          “Oh, if only you’d understand…” Tonks lost herself in the moment, thinking about how much she grew to love him. She never expected that, but it happened.

          Moments passed, and Tonks was still sleepily watch Remus sleep, following his breaths with hers. When they were together, they were one. No matter how much time has passed, that didn’t change. Her eyes occasionally shut, but she couldn’t fall asleep. So, she could only enjoy the moment and the scene in front of her. The man she loves. Calm. Peaceful. Because she was there, but she didn’t realise that just then.

          “I really can’t sleep if you keep staring at me…” Remus murmured, much to Tonks’ surprise. Her cheeks immediately turned red. “Don’t morph the blush” Remus continued, as Tonks’ eyes widened. His eyes weren’t even open, and he knew she was blushing.

          “I’m sorry… Couldn’t sleep so I...” Tonks started stuttering uncontrollably. “Honestly, I enjoyed you being here. Sorry to wake you up, still not sorry for loving you.”

          Remus smiled, but his eyes were still closed. He pulled her closer, kissing her gently on the top of her head he now tucked under his chin.

          “I never said you should be sorry for anything, Dora” his voice was now much clearer.

          “I know, I just…”

          “And I never said I’m sorry I love you,” Remus moved his head, lifting her chin to see her face clearly. “Because I do. I do love you.”

          Tonks was speechless. He only said it once before, and that was in the middle of an argument. He slipped it like child spills a secret, and he was mad at himself he ever did that because that was Tonks’ ultimate weapon. He couldn’t deny it after that and she wouldn’t ever believe his feelings disappeared.

          “I’m not afraid to say it, Dora. I love you with all my heart, and being. I thought I would never love anyone like I love you. And that’s that.”

Ron are you sure? ;) 

Harry Potter fanfiction

request for @crescentnightwood​: Remus arrives in the afterlife and he, Sirius, and James share an emotional group hug? Marauders reunited

Summary: Remus wakes one last time.

Characters: Remus, James, Sirius, Lily, Tonks

Word Count: 1,316

Warnings: Feels! I refuse to include Pettigrew in this because he stinks :) I went a little extra beyond just a hug, hope you don’t mind :3

The first breath he took felt as clear and cold as the first snowfall of winter. Remus shot up from where he was lying down, his entire body tense and brimming with an electricity he couldn’t understand. 

It was bright around him, very bright. Everything was a hazy white, but he recognized the old Gryffindor dormitory immediately. Even with the muted colours and tidied room, he knew this place like the back of his hand. A place he often fled to, a place in which he hid, when the outside world became a little too much to bear. 

Love this song for angst couple who’s love has been tested and endured through the worst.

OTP that fits this song:

Remus x Tonks

https://youtu.be/Wm4CrOfbHMI

Remus closed his eyes tightly, scrubbing hands over his scarred face. “We can’t keep pretending that we can do this, Tonks. This… It isn’t going to work.” You deserve better. He could shout that at her. She deserved someone her own age, someone without his affliction that could give her a life– not make her another outcast. It would’ve been one thing if his ‘furry problem’ had still been unregistered. Maybe he could ignore the rest if he could still get a job.

“I haven’t even got a home to go to. I’ve never had one– I’ve nothing to offer you…” A sigh left him. He’d been staying with Sirius, off and on. Disappearing off by himself time to time. He had been planning to go back to what he did in the early years after the war. Integrate back into the muggle world for a bit, get a job in a shop where he could at least provide for himself. But with what Dumbledore had planned, it was no use. He’d be running soon. “And.. I’ll be off soon, anyway. For I don’t know how long. And.. I should go now.”

Nymphadora took Remus’s hands in hers, lacing her fingers over the fronts of his hands so that her fingertips touched the rough skin of his palms. “Who says I’m pretending, Remus? Who says you are? Anyone who doubts how I feel about you, well they’ll get a million howlers from me,” she countered, blinking away tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. He couldn’t see her cry. It would look so desperate and so very juvenile.  “What does your heart say? What do you want? I mean, really and truly? ANd what if I found someone else, huh? How would you feel?”