#remus lupin reader insert

But nevertheless, the students often wondered about your kind and sweet nature towards them, truthfully you couldn't help but be reminded of your days in hogwarts and ofcourse your dear friends, some of whose children's were now attending the school

After all, not many of your friends were still present to this day, not many of them found their so called happy ending, and yet their children still manage to find a way to smile

You wanted to protect that smile. The very same smile that used to be etched in your friends faces

It did make you feel a little old sometimes though, who knew even the snooty lucius malfoy, your senior of 4 years at hogwarts would find love and have kids

And yet here you were, still single as a Pringle, your last relationship was years ago, your last real relationship was... it was actually when you used to study in hogwarts, but that too was ages ago

You had simply given up. You had better things to do other than reminisce about your past, the past that never managed to manifested into your future

You had a lot more important things to do!

Such as conduct a quick checking in all the compartments of the hogwarts express, just to make sure that all the students are acquainted and to check up on any first years who may be facing any problems

You walk along the train, knocking on the compartments before being graced with cheerfull greetings and questions on how your holidays was

You move on to the next apartment and the next without wasting much time, much wanting to sit quietly in your own compartment as soon as possible until you heard a loud cry of terror

"Dementor! Dementor!"

You immediately rush down the train, running as fast as you could while your fingers grasped you wand tightly

Crap! You totally forgot about the new security regime being added to hogwarts

Dumbledore had written to you about it during the semester break, although you didn't quite share a positive sentiment towards the addition you also didnt really have much of a say on it

By the time you reach the compartment your relieved that damage control has already been done by who seems to be a new professor whose face was turned away, only seeing the back of his head showcasing messy light brown hair which you felt was oddly familiar

"Harry! Are you alright?" You kneel down as you try propping the boy up whose mouth was currently being shoved with chocolate

"The chocolate helps, I swear" the man says before he pauses and takes a quick deep breath

You almost take a double take, staring into the eyes of a stranger who you knew a little too well

"Y/n" remus lupin breaths out your name like its air, so naturally that you almost forget about all the missing years between the two of you

He says it so naturally that it makes you feel like he just said it yesterday, you almost don't find his face foreign as if the two of you never went your separate ways

As if the two of you never left eachother

You stiffen, you can't help it, infront of you is probably the only man you've ever loved in the entirety of your life, the very man who couldn't stay with you, the man who left you,

the very same man still looked at you the same way, as if you were as beautiful as the day he found you, as if you were as beautiful as the day he left.

"Remus" you mutter out, your eyes glued to his

there's a silent battle going on, one that only perhaps the two of you could recognise. A inner turmoil in both of your hearts

Do I love or hate the fact that you're here?

Do i embrace you or curse you're for standing infront of me?

Do you still think about me?

Did you ever think of me?

"Wh-what are you doing here?" You break away from the trance first "why are you here?"

You only halfway realise how harsh it sounds but you don't care, you didnt know whether to care, you didnt know what to feel

"Lovely seeing you too y/n, you look the same like the last time I saw you"

He says it in such a way only remus lupin could say, with so much sincerety and integrity, it makes your mouth go silent

"I heard that you were a teacher in hogwarts" he pauses "it suits you, i remember you talking about it"

Ofcourse he remembers you talking about it, you remember it too. You also remember him saying the exact same thing as he did years ago too

"It suits you"

"Thanks" you don't know how to respond, with remus lupin you never really did

"But then again, i suppose whatever you did would suit you"

The same thing again, you swear it's like he never left

"You didn't change at all" you blurt out without thinking much

Remus chuckles, an awkward warm laugh, shaking his head slightly so that his slightly curls would bounce

"I dont know whether you mean it as a compliment or not"

"You know what I mean" you say again without much of a hesitation, you catch the look in remus's eye

"I do, don't I?"

Your breath hitches, again

"Uhm professor? I mean professors?" Hermione interrupts with a slightly confused face which she tries to mask

At least she's trying to hide her confusion, the other two boys in the compartment looked as if though someone told them that Monstrose Maggie's were a better quidditch team than Holyhead Harpies

Ron especially was left with his mouth slightly opened being simply utterly baffled at what was going on,

first, their apartment was seemingly attacked by what seemed to be ghosts with ice powers,

second, ron was still trying to get over the fact that harry was passed out erstwhile shaking like a wet dog and

third, probably his favourite professor and the professor that saved his best friends life were stuck in a staring battle

You look at dazed boy sitting on the floor, remembering what had happened "Oh harry! Sit up, sit up"

Remus moves towards the bestecked boy, brushing against you as he helps harry sit on the seat of his compartment.

He groans slightly as he stands up, you throw a quick glance at him before turning your attention to the three teenagers

"Are you three alright? Harry? still feeling a little woozy?" You ask while remus breaks another piece of chocolate handing it to him "munch one, cmon"

"Erm yes" Harry takes the piece of chocolate "thanks- professor er" he looks at remus

"Professor lupin-" "the names lupin-" both you and remus say in the same time, before turning to look at eachother resulting in you quickly turning your head away

The three teenagers watch curiously (hermione) confused (harry) totally completely befuddled(ron)

"You haven't changed at all too y/n" remus says, half amused, and half of what almost seemed like relief

"Well, there's a limit to how much a person can change in a span of only a few years" that might cut a little deeper than intended, but remus's face looks like he understands where you were coming from

"Sorry i-" you begin, feeling a little guilty. wringing your hands "it's great seeing you..its been ages. I guess i just wasnt expecting to see you"

Remus smiles, his eyes crinkling while he did so, lines forming near his eyes which weren't there from the years in which you remembered him from

Godrick, it really has been a long time

"I know" he says in a all knowing tone that somehow didnt seem arrogant or conceited at all, you kind of missed it "I should have written you a letter or something"

"Yea" you blink "or something"

It was at this point when you realise that it wasnt only the two of you in the compartment, there was 3 other teenagers who were gawking and trying their best to make a connection between you and the other man who still remained quite unknown to them

"Uhm right" you turn away from remus, slight pink tinting your cheeks

Remus also seemed to realise this, shoving his wand into his pocket

"I better go check on all the other compartments, just in case" he says while moving out of the compartment

"Yes! You do that" you don't look at him, not quite

"Hey y/n?"

"Hm?" You turn to him, hands fiddling with eachother

"I'll talk to you soon?"

The same brown hair, same brown eyes, a coat that seemed a little too old to still be worn, the same sturdy ebony wand, and a older version of the same scarred face you often wondered about

You nodd

"Talk to you soon"

-

"What in the good name of gandalf was all that about?" Ron says appalled, as if though he just witness a crime worthy of a death penalty

Harry shrugged while nibbling on the rather large piece of chocolate in his hands

It had been a while after both you and Professor lupin or whoever he was left their compartment, albeit professor lupin looking a little ditzy after seeing you and your face being tinted a faint shade of pink

"I swear on my life" Ron points at scabbers, the old dirty rat that seemed way too scared for an animal who was safely locked up in his cage

"I swear on scabbers life! I have never seen professor l/n act like that"

Hermione rolled her eyes, scoffing

Are boys really this dense?

Harry and ron turn to her expectantly

"Well?" Harry asked

"Isn't it quite obvious?" Hermione folded her arms, her hair tossing behind her as she did so "it's so completly obvious! It literally happened infront of your eyes"

"What did? All I saw was two adults staring at eachother for like 30 minutes straight" Ron said raising his hands

"I mean" Harry added "30 minutes might be a bit of a stretch-"

"Honestly!" Hermione interjected loudly "don't you two get it?"

"Get what?"

Hermione finally losing her patience, bend down slightly, in hushed whispers, turning to see if anyone else was around, as she hissed into the ears of the two boys

"Oh" Harry blinked, unsure of what he was suppose to do with such information "Oh well, er" he looks at ron "I dont think davies is gonna take this news well"

"Poor guy" Ron announced with a rather sad face "Roger Davies is gonna lose his shit if he hears about this" shaking his head sympathetically "bluds got a bloody massive crush on professor l/n yknow"

"....ew"

-

Hermione granger was the brightest witch of her age. She wasn't bragging about her intelligence or wit, it was merely just a fact

She knew all the ingredients needed to brew the draught of living death, she memorized all the steps needed to brew the draught of peace

She studied all the uses of the mandrake root, she knew the uses of a bezeor and where to find one

She likes to be sure of what she knows, so sure that she can bet on it, she knows what's right and what's wrong, she can swear on what she knows and what she doesn't.

And Hermione Granger swears that her DADA professor and her astronomy teacher were inlove with eachother, she was so very positive about it

She had read alot about love, watched movies about love (please don't ask her to explain how a movie works, she already explained it thrice to Mr weasly)

she saw love in her parents whenever they talked with eachother, she saw love in the way molly weasly would reprimand her husband back when she spend the holidays in the burrow

She was the brightest witch of her age and she swears, that professor Remus lupin was (rather tragically) inlove with professor y/n l/n.

-

"Professor" hermione raised her hand up in an instant, rather proudly too, she knew the answer to your question almost perfectly

You nodd, urging her to speak

"Sirius is the brightest star in the night sky, its name deriving from the greek word which means scorching or glowing"

"Yes well done miss granger" you signal her to sit down "five points to gryffindor"

"Next class we will be charting and mapping some major constellations present in the northern hemisphere while using the help of sirius" you announce to your students "your all excused to go to your next class"

Immediately all students rush out, most of them grabbing their things in a hurry and running down

"Why is the astronomy tower at the top of the building and the potions classroom all the way in the dungeons?" Seamus finnigun huffed to his friend dean who nodded earnestly

"Snape would do anything to find something to pick on, cmon we don't wanna be late!"

Hermione lingered a few seconds, hiding behind the door as all the students fled downstairs, getting ready to use her time turner when suddenly,

"'Busy?" A deep voice came

You look at the tall man standing awkwardly at the door, you can't help but stiffle a laugh

"What are you doing? Standing about just like that?"

Remus scratches the back of his head while he comes into your classroom, rather carefully too as if he was worried he would break something

"Library" remus responds to your question with a slight swagger as Hermione listened intently from behind the wall

She knows she shouldn't listen, its bad to eavesdrop on other people's conversation, what would her mother say? But after what she witnessed on the train? She couldn't possibly miss out on this

"Library?" You question with a upside down smile "it's been ages since you've been to hogwarts and you still choose to hang out in the library?"

So hermione's hunch was right after all. You both did know eachother when the two of you were younger

"Well, its not like i hung out in the library alone you know" remus quipped quickly, you almost smile

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks y/n" remus says it so casually, it makes you look up to him, for a split second there was a sense of recognition inbetween the two of you

You cough, "but still.. hanging out in the library? I guess your still a nerd"

Remus raises his eyebrows "a nerd? Excuse me but I'm not the one here teaching astronomy" a smirk plays on his lips

You gasp in fake offense while remus raises his hands up in surrender "I apologise, too harsh?"

"Way too harsh Mr lupin"

The both of you crack into soft smiles and longing looks, Hermione could have sworn that if this were one of those "muggle' movies her mom and her used to watch back at home, there would be "kiss me" by sixpence none the ritcher playing in the background

"It really has been very long remmy"

Hermione's mouth forms an o shape

'Remmy' huh? Already on nickname basis are we?

"It has been quite some time y/n"

Cmon professor! Up your game a little!

"Is that all you have to say to me? After all this time?" You don't look away, your eyes piercing through remus, making him feel seen, too seen

"I- I've got too much to say" remus confessed "too little words to use"

You purse your lips, looking down on the parchment of paper on your desk

"Do you think you'll always have too little words to say? You don't have any words to spare me for now?"

His lips part, slightly open, remus realises that his sweather is quite worn out, there's a certain itch that won't go away, the colour a little too washed away, the strands fraying away at the hem of his sleeve

He has thought about this very moment for a very long time, almost every night, every day. Practicing what he should tell you, how to tell you

And yet he doesn't say anything, he cannot.

The lump in his throat is far too big to swallow, the pain in his chest pulsating through each and every vein present in his body

He fears if he opens his mout, he might swallow you whole, selfish and angry and dangerous. All things you were not, all the things you didjt deserve.

He wasn't safe to be around, his edges too sharp to be able to curve around and you were too kind to know better

The silence is overwhelming, slightly, like water droplets falling on an already filled cup

Hermione questions herself, for the first time.

Perhaps she is wrong, perhaps the two of you aren't inlove. Maybe the two of you once were and maybe that's all it was. Ashes of the past, remains of what once was

Instead, Remus walks next to you, wordlessly, quietly, and yet his actions remains defeaning against the silence that seemed to engulf the two of you

You snort, you can't help it

"Hey, you do realise we can use magic right? I don't need your help carrying those things down"

Remus nevertheless picks up a box of telescopes and other tools "we both know you were going to carry these by hand" he stated with certainty, giving you a knowing look

You resort the urge to roll your eyes

"You know me that well?" There's a slight challenge in your voice

"No, i know you enough" remus says softly, as if that itself was a sin for him to commit "im afraid that i might like to know you even more"

Silence. The wind blows, the pale blue curtains flowing as the charms hanging on the roof play a soft chime

Your unsure of what to say, how to react, the truth was painfull. But it was the truth

Finally you whisper back

"im afraid I might end up letting you"

-

Hermione quickly shuffles with her time turner, she has already wasted so much time listening to a conversation that wasn't even hers to listen but she ends up hoping for one thing

She hopes to find someone who would look at her the way remus lupin looked at you

-

Severus snape had his reasons for disliking remus lupin, you knew them too and like the decent person he knew you were, you respected his choice.

He guesses your fine, better than most actually, he doesn't like you or anything don't get him wrong.

Even back in his student days he never really talked to you much, lest it was you greeting him goodmorning whenever the two of you had classes together

But he guesses that he doesn't dislike you, your alright, your one of the few decent people that he knew in hogwarts. He doesn't mind you that much

Which is exactly why he didn't approve of remus lupin,

Perhaps back then he wouldn't have cared as much as he did now (don't get him wrong, he doesn't care about you)

but he supposes that you could do much better (he doesn't really have a valid reason he just doesn't like remus that much... again for certain specific reason)

"Lupin" severus cannot help but sneer a little as he says the name, greeting an old not very comforting face

"severus" remus nodds in acknowledgement, walking inside the potionmasters room "I suppose you know why im here"

"I do" severus rummages about to find a bottle, handing it, the air was always tense between the two, but it felt thicker tonight

"I'm surprise you came back" severus interrupts the silence "im surprised you came back at all"

Remus stops, thinking for a while "you do realise that i could say the same thing to you? Hogwarts is the last place i imagined you working"

Severus frowns, looking up at the scarred man standing infront of him

"Does she know?"

Remus stiffen for a second before answering "Yes, I suppose she does"

"Ah" severus announces like it was nothing a big of a shock "I suppose the two of you were always... close"

"What are you trying to instigate here severus?" remus snaps before stopping himself "i apolagise- i didn't mean to"

Severus shakes his head, stopping remus "the full moon is awfully close, i suggest you take care of yourself and those around you" carefully using his words

Remus stared at the bottle of Wolfsbane in his hand before placing it on the table with a thud, snape raised an eyebrow

"I never wanted her to know" remus says bitterly "it was never her burden to share, no one's burden but mine"

Severus clicks his tongue

"I almost didn't come back, i never planned to come back to hogwarts"

"Then what made you" curiosity got the better of the sneering man

Remus looked down, he let out a pathetic excuse of a chuckle "I guess I simply wanted to see her. I wondered if she ever thought about me too"

Snape doesnt say anything at first

"How pitifull' snape muttered while he moving around his room, his cloak swooshing alongst each movement

"Yes" remus murmers "I suppose so"

"Your a miserable excuse tonight lupin" severus gave a brief look towards the man infront of him "I suggest you get some rest"

"I suppose I am rather miserable tonight" remus throws his head back "the upcoming full moon is making me act strange, look at me confiding such matters to you"

Severus merely grunts

"I apologise severus, something has gotten into me tonight"

"Theres no need to do such things lupin, simply show yourself out"

Remus thanks him for the wolfsbane once more before heading out

"Professor lupin, before you go"

Remus turned around, the eye bags around his eyes much deeper than usual, his posture slightly more bend than usual

"Regarding miss L/n...im sure she thought fondly of you too, much more than you realise" Snape coughs "that is all, goodnight" slamming the door shut.

Severus walked away from the door, wondering what was wrong with him that night, what made him say such things to remus lupin of all people but ah, alas he had forgotten, the two shared one thing in common

They were both miserable,

both miserable, pitiful and pathetic for the love that they once had

Oh yes, they both loved and were loved

-

Now,

if you ask albus dumbledore, headmaster of hogwarts for many years now and counting, whether it was correct to place bets on his students than he would respond to you with a slight chuckle

Of course it was a little incorrect, but then again, he hadn't won a bet in years and he was dying to prove Minerva McGonagall wrong

"I'm telling you albus" the older women pulled down her glasses, giving a withering look at the bearded wizard "im afraid we might be getting too old with this"

"Minerva, afraid that I might break your winning streak after all?" Came the reply, his blue eyes twinkling

Minerva McGonagall frowned "you may be one of the most famous wizard of your age albus but you are hardly capable of placing correct bets"

Minerva knew that she was right.

She had been winning all the bets with Dumbledore for the past many years, successfully guessing and pairing students up.

She placed a bet on Molly and Arthur Weasly when they were once students at hogwarts,

she even predicted James Potter and Lily Evans budding romance (although she was a little worried when lily Evans refused to give in, luckily there was a turn of event in their seventh year much to Dumbledore's dismay)

She may not be the most famous wizard of her age unlike her counterpart, but she did rather have a good hunch when it came to romance (just keep that information between her and albus though)

"Well then" Minerva gave in, rather easily too "is this about your wager on Mr potter again?"

Albus shaked his head "no, it isn't, although I am immensely confident about mister potter and miss granger"

Minerva held back a scoff "Oh yes, you'll see soon that miss granger and mister potter aren't nothing more than friends, it baffles me albus! How your the smartest wizard of all time and yet you can't see that your bet should be on ms granger and mr weasly!!"

"I will not argue with you about this matter minerva" albus quickly said

"Well, atleast you didnt place your wager on ms granger and mr malfoy" Minerva tutted "what on merlin's beard is slughorn on i wonder"

"Minerva thats not the point, im talking regarding our miss y/n l/n and-"

"Remus lupin" McGonagall finished the sentence "Well theres no point on placing a bet on them, its obvious the two are made for eachother"

"Er- Oh well I was actually gonna say-"

Minerva deadpanned "Who were you going to say other than professor lupin albus?"

"Oh well of course" albus continued, hiding the fact that he was slightly flustered "our dear severus of course!"

A loud laugh escaped Minerva's lips, leaving the much older wizard slightly dumbfounded

"Oh albus" the woman wipes a tear away, a thin smile etched on her lips as she patted the headmaster

"I hope you prepared to lose you bet once again"

-

Albus Dumbledore usually never second guessed himself, he was sure of his words, his plans and especially, his bets (even though he has been in a losing streak for the past 50 years)

But after seeing such confidence in Minerva McGonagall, he was now rethinking every single thing he had witnessed so far

He was sure, absolutely positive that there was something going on between you and severus.

You seemed to be the only person severus tolerated,

Whenever you wished him goodmorning, he would always respond you back cordially

Amd albus is pretty sure that you served the boil peas to severus and not to remus lupin today during dinner tonight,

that has to mean something right??

Roaming around the school after hours was not a new thing to the old wizard, walking around the corridors and hallways as the stars glistened over head

He hears a muffled voice, continued with what seemed to be a rather private, almost confidential meet up

Noticing you and remus standing across eachother, the space between the two of you negligible

Well !!

It's none of his business, dumbledore guesses and that he has no reason to pry on such a conversation

And yet he found himself standing quietly from a distance rather much too invested in such private affairs

After all curiosity was his biggest trait

(Please forgive the old man, he simply wants to win a bet after such a long time)

"You left your lesson plans, again" you say, shaking them slightly "quite unlike you actually"

"I was coming to get them" remus waits "what makes you say that?"

"I might have thought that you left them on purpose" albus watches you shrug,

"What if I did?"

Ah!, realisation hits albus. Perhaps Minerva was right once again

"We've got to stop meeting like this, it might give the wrong impression"

"And what impression exactly are we giving?" Remus's voice rings in your ear, almost haughty

You attempt to glare at remus although your efforts are in vain as there in no heat behind it. Remus knows it too, he has a soft grin on his face

You turn to leave, exhaling slightly just before remus says, too casually "you still do that same thing with your nose when your annoyed"

You stop midstep.

"You scrunch them a little before you look away, just like back then"

For a moment neither of you speak

"And you still hate boiled peas"

Dumbledore silently comforted himself after the loss of another bet, perhaps he should stop placing bets with Minerva

"You still look after me" remus tilts his head "perhaps giving the wrong impression?"

You groan, despite the warmth in your eyes and the smile that struggled to escape "your impossible"

Remus softly shakes his head, your eyes plastered on him "your collar is still crooked, do i have to fix it?"

Remus's hands fly to his collar,

You glance up to the man you once knew, feeling all to familiar to him once again

Albus watches as you hold remus's collar in the most gentle way possible, as if though he were a precious glass doll that you were afraid of scarring.

Remus finds it a little ironic

Your fingers delicately moving alongst the nape of his neck while he muttered something to you

Your simply standing there, he's not stopping you in any sense at all, watching him with an insufferable fond look that albus remembers from back in your days as students

Why hadn't he noticed this before?

"I would have thought that you'd learn how to do your collar properly by now" you huffed, the tall man leaned in closer to you, for your comfort and ease

"I guess I got used to you fixing it for me"

You hum "you hate people touching you"

Remus lupin looks at you, a slight smile playing on his face "i suppose that makes you the exception"

Albus holds back his gasp

You sigh while finishing adjusting his collar, breaking away from him

"You're quite literally impossible"

Remus chuckles, his eyes never breaking away from yours "you like it, you still do"

"You" you point your finger at the tall man "are quite frankly delusion, might i suggest a visit st mungoes and check your head"

Remus takes a step closer, he's grinning, it makes him look younger, you think,

"Am I? Delusional?"

Albus feels like bursting out of his hiding spot, feeling like a quidditch commenter watching the most highly anticipated quidditch match of all time

But then- you laugh, its small, a little reluctant but a real laugh. And instead of walking away you simply look at remus with the same softness that has always been there since your hogwarts days

Albus turns his head away, giving the two of you space, deciding that he had seen enough

He wonders why in the world did he not catch it before, were his hunches always this bad?

"Well?" A flat voice came from a corner, Dumbledore couldn't help but chuckle knowing all too well who it was

"Minerva!" Albus smiled "I was hoping to bump into you"

The grey tabby cat transformed into a frowning women with a "I told you so" look on her face

Albus sighs "I believe you have won the bet once again"

The women suppresses a smile "Yes, I believe so too"

"Am I really that dense Minerva?"

Giving the older wizard a scathing look "im afraid so professor"

"Oh...but rather refreshing to see young love blossom in our very halls is it not?" Albus dumbledore says with a satisfied look on his face

"I hope they would atleast pretend to not be too distracted with their work" Minerva remarked

"Oh minerva" albus tutted "Have you never been in love before?"

Minerva McGonagall threw a look at the headmaster

"Now all we must do is wait for the inevitable" albus proudly said "I should begin drafting a speech for their wedding should I not?"

Minerva sighs shaking her head, her voice wavering but she knew better to discourage Dumbledore "Oh yes professor, you do that"

Dumbledore gleams while walking back up to his office, he may have lost the bet but he was a sucker for happy ending, especially for his students

"Oh Minerva!" Did I ever mention?"

Dumbledore calls the tall women before he goes up into his office

"Mention what professor?"

The wizard gleams, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, Minerva wasnt sure if she was going to like what she was about to hear

"I once placed a bet on you and tom riddle back when you were a student here"

Minerva McGonagall paused, not even blinking, not even breathing

Dumbledore chuckle "Oh well, let's just hope for the best for miss y/n and mr remus lupin shall we?"

(A few hours later, filch recieves the fright of his life when he finds professor McGonagall is still standing in the hallway frozen)

-

When your called into dumbledores office in the middle of the night, the last thing you expect is to see the convicted felon sirius black and a tired, freshly scarred remus lupin

After Dumbledore filled you in with the recent events that took place and after the sirius was safely escorted to much safer place,

you found your arms resting on remus whose body remained slumped on a bed in the infirmary

The hospital wing was dimply lighted, madam pomfrey busy tending to the three teenagers (harry, ron and hermione) leaving you with the scarred man

Your eyes wander around his body which was covered in bruises, cuts, scars and a deep gash along his side from his recent turning.

You tend to his wounds, your hands shaking slightly while you moved with precision and a look of gentleness in your eyes which remus did not missed

"It might sting a little" you warn, while dabbing the cotten pad soaked in antiseptic to his cheek

Remus flinched slightly but does not move nor say anything, only nods slightly.

He had always been like this- quiet, composed and never one to complain. But you could feel the tension in him, the way his shoulders stayed rigid under your touch, the way his eyes darted around you, looking at you everywhere but at your eyes

"It doesn't hurt?" You ask in an attempt to lighten the mood but your voice wavers just enough to betray your feelings

Remus notices it without missing a beat, his body softening on hearing the vulnerability in your voice

It's all for him, it's all because of him

"It's not the cut that hurts y/n. It's the fact that yours still the one tending to them even after all these years"

You still for a moment- memories of late night study sessions and hushed conversations. You tending to his scars at midnight after every turning while the rest of the marauders watched with a knowing smirk.

Memories of the past seemed to dance infront of your eyes, flickering like candles and flittering like ghosts.

The quiet estrangement between you and remus, the way the two of you parted ways so easily- but here he was. So close to you, yet you have never felt further from him

"Maybe some things don't change" your murmer under your breath, your fingers brushing against his skin for longer than necessary

Remus smiles, its a wistful and rather melancholy smile

The both of you felt the weight of all the unsaid words between the two of you, it lingered liked the fog on a misty morning, just like the lingering glance remus always gave to you

"It's not that bad you know" remus mutters "your looking at me like I'm going to drop dead"

His voice is rough , deep and slightly slurred, still recovering from from the disorientation from his shift, he keeps his eyes closed, though his sharp breathing tells you that the pain is no less than real

You look up, a small frown tugging your lips "you always say that, but here you are, covered in cuts and scars" your tone is light but theres a hidden edge of concern that was undiscernable

Remus chuckles softly, though the sound is strained "i'm alot tougher than i look, have a little faith in me won't you?"

Your fingers linger around his face, your touch soft, slightly cold against his flushed hot blooded self.

Remus tenses from your touch, but relaxes almost immediately. You can tell he's holding back more than just the pain, you just didn't know what.

"I could have helped you, i was always willing to help you, you know that don't you?" Your voice betrays all the concern and worry you had been holding back, your voice breaking,

Remus doesnt meet your eyes, not at first, his expression distant and struggling to find the words

"I didn't want to hurt anyone" he finally says, "especially you, i never want to hurt you"

"I know" you whisper gently, your hands move towards his "but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone"

For a moment he remains silent, it makes you think whether he even heard you at all. His fingers curl into the edge of the cot, jaws clenched tight.

But then he moves his hands towards yours too, slowly, hesitantly, almost scared.

But he missed it, he missed your touch all too much to no longer deny it. He missed you

"I dont want to hurt you" he repeats again like a confession. His voice fragile and vulnerable

You look at him, the weight of his gaze holding you in place before you finally utterly "you won't"

Your afraid remus would pull away, push you away, retreat back but he doesnt.

He let's you finish bandaging him, let's you hold him, letting you do what you've always done, even when the two of you were no longer together: care for him

And even when your done he doesn't pull away, you meet his eyes again, once again feeling the weight of all the unsaid words

"I'm scary" his voice is barely a whisper "and dangerous, and frightening. You don't deserve to go through all of that"

You smile faintly, leaning towards him, brushing against lock of his his hair away from his face

"Remus lupin, you eat your toast burned to crisps, you have your coffee so black im convince your taste buds are dead, you have memorized lines from random horrible plays I have never heard of before"

your hands holds his face with utmost care

"Trust me" you smile, your tone teasing if not for the warmth in your voice "you couldn't scare me even if you try"

For a brief moment theres nothing but the sound of breathing, two people who had never really let eachother go. Though remus doesnt say it, the way his hands holds your waist, and the way he looks at you, speaks louder than words ever could

"Next time, let me help you"

A smile tugs on remus's lips, twitching in a rare crooked smile "ill try to remember that"

"And don't leave, i dont think i can bear it if you disappear from me twice" you whisper

"I wont be able to stay away for long even if I tried" remus whispered back like a solemn vow "I'll always come for you, ill always find my way to you"

Your hands still linger on one another, gazes still intact, though no words are exchange it is not necessary, the soft smiles tugging both your lips are enough

For the first time in years, it feels like the two of you are on the same side once again.

-

"Hand me the galleons you owe me albus" Minerva reaches her hand out, an eyebrow raised

"Oh Minerva, must we hurry? I'm well aware you won the bet but-"

Minerva McGonagall cleared her throat loud and clear

Severus snape rolled his eyes and sighed, muttering under his breath about "childish behavior"

Albus dumbledore sulked "im going to go bankrupt if this keeps on going on"

Minerva suppressed her smile, despite feeling proud of her achievement "do you still want to go on with the bets albus? Unless your afraid of losing once more"

Severus frowned "must you encourage such behavior professor McGonagall?"

"I'll win the next bet, just you wait and see minerva" Dumbledore said, despite his initial complain, repeating what he had been saying every time for the past 50 years since he had been losing

"mr cedric diggory and ms cho chang" Minerva announced her next bet, folding her arms, her head held high

Albus watched with a broad grin "Minerva, i might have to prove you wrong there!"

Minerva watched with eyebrows raised

"It's obviously ms cho chang and mr roger davies"

"Oh dear" severus groaned

Minerva covered her mouth, turning away to laugh, confident that she had won before it even begun while albus dumbledore began listing the reason for his belief

"Mr Roger Davies and ms cho chang were practicing quidditch together and may I mention that it seemed a rather private meet up with only the two of them-"

"Isn't mr Davies the captain of the ravenclaw quidditch team and ms chang the seeker of the quidditch team?" Severus reminded the older wizard

"Yes but severus your missing the point-"

Severus Snape raised his hand, he had heard enough, pinching the bride of his nose he excused himself, he had better things to do than involve himself in such trivial childish matters, especially those that involved the life of silly hormonal teenagers

He walked out with a whoosh of his cloak, seemingly ready to slam the door, just when-

Summer swept over Hogwarts all at once, patching the emerald lawns with thousands of tiny yellow wildflowers. Honeybees bobbed lazily around the planters in the windows as a wave of giddy heat settled over the grounds. Sweet smelling herbs were in full bloom in the green houses, their fragrance catching on the breeze as far away as the Astronomy Tower. The world seemed hellbent on drawing me outside, but there was only a week left of my sixth year at Hogwarts, and still two exams left. Even still, I was not studying on that lazy Sunday morning. Instead, I found myself in one of the sweltering music practise classrooms with my best friends, rubbing my hands raw on my drumsticks in preparation for our gig at the graduation party for our upperclassmen. We had been practising for nearly two hours by the time James decided it was time for him to “take a slash,” and finally let us take a well deserved break.

“Infrigido,” Remus passed his wand over a glass he had just filled from the great silver pitcher by the door. It fogged, weeping beads of perspiration down the side.

“Thanks, Rem.” Our fingers brushed as he passed it to me, burning hot. For once I was grateful for the sweltering atmosphere, confident that my face was already too red to visibly blush.

Instantly, the cool glass sapped the thick feeling from my overworked fingers. I held it to my lips and drained it in a few gulps, only surfacing for air when nothing remained but the dregs. Remus let out a breathy laugh, and refilled the glass with another wave of his wand. I drank from it again, and this time I found that I could drink and drink, but the glass remained full.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” I marvelled, pressing the chilled surface to my flushed cheek.

“Charms class.” He ducked his head bashfully and took the glass back, drinking deeply.

“Advanced Charms class.” Sirius amended slyly. “So modest, Moony.”

“That must be where he learned to be so charming.” I snickered as Remus sputtered on his icy mouthful.

“Oh, shove off it.” He croaked, lightly pushing my shoulder.

I stumbled back, clutching at it theatrically, and flopped down onto the squashy L-shaped couch where Sirius was luxuriously reclined in a beam of sunlight. My head came to rest on his lap.

“Bit hot and bothered there, ma chouette?”

“You don’t know the half of it, Siz.”His grey eyes glittered in amusement, tongue darting foxishly over one prominent canine. “You try keeping time with you lot and see how you feel by the end of it.”

“Ouch.” He raised a ringed hand to his heart.

Sirius was attractive, everyone could agree on that much. From the untamed wreath of curly hair, muscled forearms already tan though summer had barely begun, to the stompy black biker boots, everything about him attracted groupies like flies. That’s not to mention his slightly sleazy sense of humour and ticklish charisma that had most girls hanging off his every word. He was like dark chocolate to me; something rich and decadent, something that I was sure I couldn’t resist if it presented itself. Yet, even with his jeans rough against my cheek, my gaze strayed back to Remus (who seemed adamant to look at anything but me) and I knew I had a taste for something sweeter.

“Well, I for one, am glad I’m not a drummer.” Peter simpered, his beady eyes flickering to my bare legs. “I don’t know how you manage it, Quills.”

“With great difficulty.”

I fought to keep the tension out of my voice. I always hated the way my feathery nickname sounded in his mouth. For that matter, I had always hated Pettigrew himself, even before second year when I caught him lying that he had met John Lennon on holiday in Poole. I decided soon after meeting him that he was like a rat- annoying and cowardly, but ultimately too harmless to justify having an open dislike for- so it was greatly amusing to me when our Animagus forms revealed themselves. I was an owl, so there was a certain murderous instinct that took over me when I saw him scurrying through the long grass. But alas, James and Sirius enjoyed him sucking up to them, so I was forbidden from eating him.

“Well, it’s greatly appreciated.” His plump cheeks dimpled as he smiled.

“Thanks, Peter.” I managed a sweet smile, then sighed dramatically. “At least someone appreciates me.”

It’s a shame it’s him and not Remus. I thought glumly. He had gone back to messing with his bass. It was a beat up old thing that had clearly gone through a serious thrashing some time in the 60s. There were deep scratches in the blue glittery finish and the edges of the body were scarred from smacking into things.

I will never forget the day I found it. All through fourth year, the boys and I had been dreaming of forming a band, and that summer I had been wandering through the muggle end of Manchester when I came upon it at a car-boot sale. It shone out like a diamond amongst the kitsch, and I knew instantly that it was meant for Remus. When school started in the autumn, I had Lily paint bubbly white flowers over the worst of the damage. He cried when I gave it to him. It was a bit of a shock, watching him go quiet and tense, like he was swallowing a big pill. He managed a quiet ‘ thanks,’ and bolted to his dorm room. It was late when he came back, all puffy eyes and sheepish smiles, and hugged me tight to his chest. ‘You’re the best, Ferne,’ came the shaky whisper against my ear. I’ll always remember that as the moment I started to realise I might be in love with Remus Lupin.

It was then that James came bursting back into the room, wiping his hands on his bell-bottoms. Marching straight to his guitar, he ran his still wet hand through his unruly hair, half-flattening it. He hoisted the instrument over his shoulder in a business-like way. To a casual observer he almost looked careless, but I could see an almost exaggerated level of care in his movements. It really was the Jaguar of guitars, I had to admit. Gloss black and curvy, James treated it like a fetish to some weird god, stroking it, polishing it, praying to it. He strummed a slightly off-key chord and set about tuning it.

“What are you all laying about for?” He spoke without lifting his eyes from the knobs.

“I’m just having a kip, Prongsy.” I mumbled, closing my eyes. I decided he deserved a wind up, he’d worked us to the bone after all.

“Go on, get up.” Though his voice was still mild, I could hear a testy edge.

“Don’t look at me.” Sirius added. “There happens to be a rare bird roosting in my lap.”

“Quills, let him up.”

“Oh but, Jaaaames!” I squirmed. “It’s too hot!”

“Oh, you poor thing. Somebody call St Mungo’s.”

“Dick.” I huffed, eyes still stubbornly shut. “C’mon, we’ve been at it all morning. Can’t we just pick it up again tomorrow?”

“We’ve been at it all morning and we still haven’t ran through the big finisher.”

“But-”

“JUST GET UP!”

My eyes snapped open and jolt of unexplained terror shot through me at the sudden shout, like the snap of a firework. Though my eyes met instantly with the culprit, it took me a moment to comprehend that it was Remus glaring daggers back at me. He had never snapped at me like that in all the years I had known him. Sure, he had gotten short with me around the full moon, but there had never been such venom in his voice. I took a set my jaw and shoved myself up, trying to mask the hurt. Some of it must have shown on my face, as he dropped his viscous stare and pretended to adjust his peddles. I stalked past him and slumped onto my stool, glaring into his face as I passed, though he refused to raise his eyes from the floor.

Sirius cleared his throat. “Your time of the month, is it, Moony?”

Peter gave a weak chuckle, his eyes darting frantically between the three of us. James seemed to be calculating something. He passed me a questioning look and I shrugged like flicking a fly off my shoulder. Remus spoke up, his voice tense and measured.

“Let’s run through the closer.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth, Moony dear.” James snickered at his own joke, the tension clearly forgotten to him. “I want to start with the spoken word bit, but if you guys are-”

“No, it’s fine.” It was my turn to speak up, a challenge in my tone. “We’ll do it, won’t we, Moony?”

Finally, his startled eyes met with mine. It was not a nickname I used often. He was always Remus or Rem to me, Remmie if we were alone. ‘Moony’ was a tired joke. Knowing he was properly in the doghouse, he looked away and muttered.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Right.” James clapped once. “Everyone up then.”

With a groan, Sirius hauled himself to his feet and saluted.

“Sir, yes, sir!”

Peter settled himself behind the keyboard and Remus stood by, his shoulder facing me. It pissed me off.

“On a hot summer night,” He recited monotonously. “Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”

“Yes.” I spat.

Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs call burst into fits of snickers. Even Remus seemed to be suppressing a smirk.

“What?” I demanded hotly, looking to James for answers.

It was Sirius who spoke up. “The line, my dear, is, ‘will he offer me his mouth?’”

I flushed, sat back and folded my arms, trying to look unperturbed. “Well, how am I supposed to remember if he’s not even looking at me, mm?”

“He is fucking incredible to look at, isn’t he?” Sirius said, fanning himself.

“Mm, yes.” James agreed as Remus turned his back on them. “Check out his arse!”

“Shut up, you animals.” Remus tossed over his shoulder. The fire in his eyes had dampened some, and I felt that familiar squeeze in my stomach as he looked straight into my eyes. “Better?”

I nodded tersely. He nodded back. My owl eyes honed in on the sunlight reflecting in the sweat sheen gathered on his lip. He sighed.

“On a hot summer night, would you-”

“Can we get some emotion in that, please?”

“What kind of emotion, Prongs?”

“Lust, ideally.” James threw a smirk my way. “I mean, I know that might be a challenge, but…”

That one stung. I had always known I wasn’t much of a looker, and James had a nasty fascination with riling me up, but I never expected him to insult my looks. It was a low blow, even for him, but I grit my teeth and prepared to laugh it off. I figured I should be a good sport, what with tensions already running high. What I wasn’t preparing for was Remus rounding on him, his voice disarmingly pleasant.

“What did you just say about her?” He was almost smiling.

James chuffed out a placating sort of laugh. “I just meant that you’ve been friends for so long, it must be a bit weird-”

“You’re the one making us do this, James.” I sighed, suddenly weary. It was true, James had dogged us into doing the stupid dialogue as some public demonstration of our inside joke. “I know you think it’s funny that Rem’s a werewolf and we’re the only ones who know, but it’s a bit of an antique fucking joke by now, isn’t it?”

James puffed out his cheeks, looked at Remus and scoffed. “You don’t mind, do you, Moony?”

Remus ran a hand through his hair and looked into the middle distance as though he had just been asked for the meaning of life.

“Sometimes,” He rasped. “It feels like the only way to survive a disease like this is to make a joke out of it.”

Sirius gave a low whistle to break the silence.

“We’ll do the intro, but I need a break.” He swung the bass off his shoulders and grabbed his satchel instead.

“The gig is in three days!” James begged.

“And we have a transfiguration exam tomorrow. It’s boiling hot in here and I need to revise. Coming, Ferne?”

It took me by surprise that he wanted to be around me at all, but I stuck my drumsticks in my pocket and got up to follow.

“Guys, c’mon!” James whined. “Padfoot-”

“Not a chance, mate.” Sirius gave a mighty stretch and grabbed his enormous leather jacket. “Have you seen how nice it is outside?”

Remus’s hand, gentle as ever, took me by the elbow and guided me into the hall., but as soon as it was there, it was gone. He walked so briskly that I almost needed to jog to keep up. Silence hung thickly between us as we wound our way through stairwells and passages until we surfaced at last near the greenhouses. The warm breeze passing over us blew away the tension in my shoulders.

“Why are we running?” I panted.

“We’re not,” He took me by the wrist and yanked me into the nearest greenhouse, ducking down below the planters. “But he is.”

As I peered over the steaming tops of some Puffing Peonies, I saw Wormtail come bustling out of the entrance we had just emerged from. He was doubled over and heaving breaths, glancing about in confusion. He turned around a few times, then his shoulders slumped, and he ambled off somewhere to do whatever rats do when the owls aren’t watching. I couldn’t help but giggle as I turned to Remus.

“Why are we hiding from him?”

He exhaled sharply, a hint of disapproval in his easy smile. “Because if Peter came along, you’d find some reason to run off.”

I huffed, frustrated to be read so easily.

“And,” He added more softly. “We haven’t hung out just to two of us in forever.”

He looked away, pink creeping up his neck, and fiddled with a frayed string on his jeans.

“I don’t know what to make of you today.”

“I’m sorry.” He said instantly. “I just… I shouldn’t take it out on you, should I?”

“What’s wrong, Rem? You can tell me.”

“I’m alright.” Clearly he noticed my sceptical expression. “I’ll tell you later, yeah?”

I considered it for a moment, then nodded. The crease on his brow faded and he looked a little more like his old self again. He stood up, his head nearly brushing the planters that hung from the ceiling, and groaned softly, stretching out his leg

“Have you done your hip?” I said as I got to my feet.

“No.” He winced.

“Are you sure? Have you got your cane?”

“No.”

“Do you need me to-”

“Don’t need it.” He insisted, limping toward the far entrance and dodging the vines and low hanging flowers.

I knew I couldn’t argue with him, so I put a supporting arm around his waist and walked with him.

“You don’t need to do that.”

He only said it once, more as a formality than anything, and didn’t make me let him go until we had ambled all the way down the lawn to the shore of the black lake. We spent the rest of our afternoon in the wood grove, nestled in the mossy roots of the oak tree that we called our own. We were smoking reefer that I’d won from a Hufflepuff seventh-year in a game of gobstones, neither of us saying much. I was mostly content in the quiet, though there were times when the light caught just right and revealed the auburn undertone in his hair, and I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake. Why are you upset with me? Why don’t you love me?

His left hand was in my lap. I had asked to borrow it for some advanced palmistry revision, but I had long ago put down the book and took to idly tracing the scars that scored across his palm and wrist. I always loved his hands. They were long and rawboned, with nails bitten short and shiny callouses on his bass playing fingers, unadorned except for a braided leather bracelet.

His right hand was occupied with a flat stone that he had charmed to return to him when he skipped it across the lake. He sent it flying again with a jerk of his wrist.

“You and Sirius have gotten rather close.”

My finger froze in the middle of tracing a figure-eight. “Have we?”

“Don’t be coy, Ferney.” There was a sullen note in his voice.

I looked at him. He caught the stone as it came flying back and turned to me, his expression unreadable.

“Well, so what?” I bluffed. “Would that be so terrible?”

Face reddening, and took his hand back from my possession, rubbing it harshly over the stubble on his cheek. “Really, I thought you’d be a bit smarter than that.”

I gasped silently, feeling my heartbeat quicken.

“Oh, go on then, this ought to be good.”

He scoffed, launching the rock toward the lake. It clipped the surface at the wrong angle and plonked into the depths. He grit his teeth to keep from cursing.

“Well, for starters, you know what he’s like. Or do you need reminding that he’s put the moves on half the school old enough to take the OWLs? That’s girls and boys, Ferne.”

“Oh, big bad Sirius is gonna hurt me, is he? You’re not my father, Remus.”

He frowned, eyes flashing with wolfish defiance. “I’m not trying to be.”

“Well, you’re acting like it, aren’t you?”

He set his jaw and looked away. Finding no stone in his hand, he picked up a waterlogged stick and flicked it into the lake. The green water sloshed and rippled.

“Anyway, think about the rest of us, would you?” He glowered at the sun glare passing ripples across the black mirror surface. “If you fool around with Padfoot and wind up getting hurt, what are we supposed to do? Go between you like you’re our divorced parents?”

“It wouldn’t happen.” I realised something from this stupid hypothetical that opened a chasm of sadness inside me. “You’d all go with him, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t.” He said instantly, and I saw that his eyes were red, maybe from the reefer, but I could have sworn he was crying.

“Oh, Rem.” I whispered, understanding washing over me. “You’ll always be my best mate, you know that don’t you? Padfoot’s too. Even if there was something going on between us, we’d always love you the best.”

“There isn’t something going on?” I caught relief in the mix of emotions on his face.

“No.” It was embarrassing to admit.

“W-well what was that all about?”

“Nothing.” I flushed. “I guess I just wanted to suss you out.”

He rolled his eyes and muttered, “suss me out? Did you discover anything?”

I hesitated. “You… you love him, don’t you?”

“Who? Sirius?!”

“Remus!” He snickered. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” He sighed. “You never got it.”

“It was a good guess! Easier to believe than the alternative.”

“And what’s that?”

“That you’re in love with me.” I tried not to make it obvious that I was dying inside. “Likely story, huh?”

“Love,” He folded up his long legs and drew me into a hug. “You’re so harsh on yourself.”

“No, m’not.” I mumbled, burying my face in his orange checkered shirt. My high reached a new peak with the faint scent of cigarettes filling my nose, but there was an aching sorrow still bothering me.

“Ferne.” He drew back and looked over me with a probing stare. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, of course.” Maybe I said it a little too quickly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He pursed his lips, fire flashing in his eyes. “This is about Prongs, isn’t it?

“Wh-what about him?” I bit my lip.

“He’s an absolute prick.” He spat. “Don’t listen to a word he says. If it wasn’t for poor Evans I’d say he wouldn’t know beauty if it bit him on the arse.”

“It's okay.” I amended, the urge to smooth things over too strong to overcome. “He didn’t mean it.”

“Course he didn’t, but he never thinks about what he’s doing. He just says whatever he wants for his own amusement.” He tilted his head back with an irritated sigh. “Sometimes I wonder if he even gets that other people have feelings.”

“He’s not that bad. Besides, it’s not like he could say anything that I haven’t already thought of.”

“Ferney.” H’s voice was rather stern. “You don’t think you’re ugly, do you?”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“...well, maybe a little bit, but…”

He took a handful of my fringe and pushed it back from my face with his enormous palm.

“Aw, Rem!” I whined, frantically pawing my hair back into place.

“You’re beautiful.” He poked my cheek. “Say it for me?”

“No!”

“Please?” He broke out his puppy-dog eyes and my will melted away like dew.

“I’m beautiful.”

I barely whispered it, but it satisfied him and he planted a kiss on my forehead that tickled where his downy moustache touched me. His hand ran down my back and for one exhillerating moment I thought he was going to grab my arse, but instead he stole the drumstick out of my back pocket and brandished it, grinning. He tossed it up, and with a flick of his wand, it transfigured mid-air into a single red rose. He sniffed it, raised his eyebrows comically, and tapped it to my nose. It smelled like the real thing.

“Aw, Rem. I’m down a drumstick.” I giggled.

He rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like ‘ungrateful.’

“It’s beautiful. What’s it for?”

“To say sorry for being a jealous old bastard.”

I swallowed the rising lump in my throat and collapsed back into his arms. He hummed lowly and drew me tightly to him. On paper, it should be fine. We had gotten over the hurdle, the status quo was restored. We could go on being best friends, go on holding eachother until the world caved in. But. I still felt the thing unspoken like a third person in the embrace, cold and invasive.

“You’re still not right, are you?” His low voice rumbled through me, his chin resting on my head.

“No.” I whispered, voice cracking. “I’ve got to tell you something.”

I felt him tense against me. I drew back and saw him flush-faced and glassy-eyed, hair all a mess.

“I…”

He gave me an encouraging raise of his eyebrows, though his eyes seemed to be screaming don’t tell me! I swallowed, my dry throat grating against itself. I owed it to myself to say it, even if what I hoped for would slip away. Even if it tore the Marauders apart.

“I really like you, Rem. I don’t know for sure, but I… I think I might be in love with you.”

Shock was the first thing I saw on his face. The widening of his wood grain eyes, the parting of his eternally chapped lips. I could see the cogs turning in those silent seconds that passed. Faint in the distance, the three o’clock bell tolled in the high tower.

“Really?”

I nodded. He nodded back, his gaze darting between my eyes, searching for something. If he found it, I don’t know, but a decision seemed to tick over in his expression. His eyelids drooped, chin tilted, and his Lanky accent was thick when he spoke.

“On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”

“Wh-what?”

He took a shuddering breath, cheeks redder than I had ever seen them, and smirked. For a moment he almost looked like Sirius.

“On a hot... summer... night..." He took my trembling hand and kissed my knuckles with each word. “Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”

My eyes trailed down to his lips, where his breath came in shallow pants. I wanted him, and for the first time ever I was certain that he wanted me. The absurdity of the ritual melted away.

“Will he offer me his mouth?” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Yes.” He breathed, leaning in to kiss just above my brow.

“Will he offer me his teeth?”

“Yes.” My mind melted into static as he grazed his lips over my cheek. Oh Merlin, is this really happening?

“Will he offer me his jaws?” My chin tilted up reflexively, yeilding my jaw to his touch, but it was the tip of my nose that he kissed.

“Yes.”

“Will he offer me his hunger?” At last, his open lips met my jaw, stamping kisses down the length of my neck.

“Yes.” His voice was muffled on my skin.

“Again,” I gasped. “Will he offer me his hunger?”

“Yes.” He latched onto a soft place just above my collarbone, a delicious ache resonating with the rhythm of his lips.

“And will he starve without me?” I buried my fingers in the thick mop of his hair.

“Yes.” It was a desperate, craving syllable.

The hypnotising draw of his mouth trailing kisses up to my ear left my inhibitions powerless, but there was still part of me screaming ‘don’t say it!’

“And does he love me?”

The golden question. My breath caught in my throat as he lingered against the conch shell of my ear.

“Yes.” It came with a warm sigh of breath that buzzed through my brain.

Eyes hanging half shut and swimming with desires long suppressed, he trailed his nose along my cheek, then nudged it against my own.

“On a hot…” My hand cupped his jaw. “...summer night…” My fingers worked circles in his hair. “…would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”

“Yes.” Our lips were so close that we breathed the same air, but I still felt the heat of his words as he passed them into my mouth.

The Potters's house was quiet, although Mr. and Mrs. Potter were on business for the weekend, they kindly offered their home as a place of refuge for their son James and his friends. Y/N and Lily shared the guest room, while the three boys shared James's room.

It was a quiet morning, a Saturday. and the group slowly collected themselves from their rooms and gathered downstairs. Y/n and Lily were the first to be awake, sipping morning tea at the dinner table.

"Good morning love," said James in a sleepy voice, still in his pajamas, wandering over to Lily planting a kiss on her forehead. "good morning," she said cheerfully. "We made some tea if you'd like,"

While the sleepiness wore off, the group became their lively selves again. Once everyone was seated at the table, and had finished their tea, Lily chimed in over the group chatter. "So, Y/N and I had the idea to make everyone breakfast this morning." Y/n turned and smiled. "but we will need more eggs and a few things from the market." Lily proposed, "So you whoever would like to accompany me is welcome, but we need someone to stay and get started on baking."

"I'll go!" Said James right away, loving the thought of accompanying Lily no matter where they went. "We can take my bike, I have an extra helmet," Sirius stated. "We can stay and start on the muffins," Y/n said, who was sitting next to Remus, they shared a short glance and smiled. "that settles it then!" Lily exclaimed excitedly. "I left the instructions on the fridge for you two. Boys, we should go get dressed."

Y/N and Remus broke off from the group, beginning to clean the tea cups and tidy the room by straightening the chairs. Sirius, James, and Lily had gone upstairs, leaving the two in the kitchen. Y/n feared Remus was in a bad mood, he seemed a bit sad today, something unusual though he was typically quiet.

"Everything okay, rem?" Y/n asked, the two stood in the kitchen. Remus seemed to be stuck in his own head.

"Hmm?" Remus uttered. "yeah of course."

"be back in a moment's time!" James said, the three rushing down the stairs. "And please, do not have sex on the kitchen counter, respect the house!" James said with a chuckle, it made Remus roll his eyes back into his head. "Oh, Bugger off James that's gross!" Y/n called back to James with a laugh. The three went outside, and Y/N and Remus could hear the sound of Sirius' motorcycle start. Sirius was elated to take that thing anywhere nowadays, and he had just purchased an extra seat and helmet for it.

Y/N walked over to the fridge, which had lovely handwritten notes with flowers doodled onto the page.

Lily's Blueberry Muffin Recipe :)

Y/n began reading the ingredients, instructing Remus to grab the flour out of the cupboard. "this seems like an easy recipe," Y/n said, grabbing a bowl and a whisk to mix the ingredients as per Lily's instructions.

Thud.

Y/n turned, startled by the noise, only to be met face-to-face with Remus who had accidentally dropped the bag of flour onto himself. He sighed heavily, brushing some of it out of his hair. "Oh Rem," Y/n cooed. "it's fine," Remus said he was off this morning, being a bit frustrated by his mistake didn't help at all. "Why don't you go change, I can gather the rest of the ingridients, love." Remus nodded, heading upstairs to go change his pajamas which were now in fact covered in a white dusting of flour.

Y/n gathered all the ingridients and all the things needed as per Lily's list. It was surely a muggle recipe, slightly different than normal. Humming to themself as they measured out the ingridients.

It had been a bit longer than it would have usually taken for Remus to change, so Y/n thought it was best to check on him. "Remus?" she called from the bottom of the stairs- no answer.

Y/n walked up the stairs and into James' room where Remus was no doubt. Y/n gently pushed the door open to see Remus standing in front of the mirror, examining each of his scars along his chest, arms, and back.

"Remus?" y/n asked gently, Remus was pulled out of his haze of insecurity and turned away from the mirror, but before he could change Y/n wrapped their arms around him from behind.

Y/n knew of his insecurities and his battle with self-esteem. He always questioned why he couldn't look like James, with his luscious hair, or like Sirius, who had so much charm that so many girls were always pining after him, Remus was quiet, studious, and non-flirtatious in that way. "whats wrong, rem?" Y/n asked gently, still holding him from behind.

"Nothing dear," Remus said, but Y/n could tell it wasn't nothing.

He sighed. "I just wonder what I would look like without all these hideous scars," he said.

"I don't think they are hideous. Remus." Y/n said.

"I do." He uttered softly, Y/n gently pulled away, pulling her hand up to trace the scars across his chest. "I hate them." He said.

"I love you the way you are." Y/n offered sweetly.

Remus sighed, putting on his worn-in Gryffindor sweater. "I'm sorry," Remus uttered, looking down, almost embarrassed to look at his partner who loved him unconditionally. It was new to him, being loved like this. "It's all I can think about lately." He admitted.

Y/n stepped closer. "It's okay to feel this way, But you know none of us care about what you look like. We all love you exactly the way you are." Y/n said. Remus finally looked up, with a soft smile.

"I don't deserve you," he said softly. "Nonsense." Y/n insisted. "I love you, nothing will ever change that," Y/n said, stepping closer, taking Remus' face in their hands.

Remus pulled forward for a gentle kiss on y/n's lips. their love was soft and sweet. it was a sentimental moment.

"now we should get back to the muffins," Y/n giggled.