Itās really hard to figure out what I need when I just get frustrated talking to you. And I think wiser people would advise me to take space (which I am) away from the situation and come at it with a clearer mind and a more loving heart.Ā
But I hate space so much. I want to be with you and I want to be able to support you. I want to be that pillar of support. But in doing so, I just get so frustrated and angry and the pit of my stomach wants to strangle you. So I guess weāre going with the space thing.Ā
So the things I suspect I want right now, that Iām more or less convinced youāre unable to provide (but since it might not even be the case that these are things i need/things that would help me, it doesnāt seem fair or appropriate to ask you for it as youāre so busy.):Ā
1. I think I need you to TELL me you need me. That you need my support. That you need someone to complain to, that you need someone to be understanding and loving and just there. I think I need you to tell me you need to talk to me, on the condition that I have to act as lovingly as I possibly can. I really just want you to make me feel like you need me.
2. I think Iām being pushed away, and I think thatās making me push you away more than I would have originally wanted. And I think a good compromise to this is just to talk for a little bit relatively soon, but I know Iām too petty for this. Iām pretty spiteful and Iām gonna commit to this really dumb idea of pushing you away until I inevitably explode. So, honestly. You just need to be like:Ā āCan you stop.ā Because Iām not all too sure I should. So if *youāre* the one who tells me, i can be convinced.Ā
3. For now, and only for a little bit until I regain my composure, I need to stop feeling like Iām working hard in this relationship. I need to stop feeling like itās hopeless, and itās hard, and Iām putting too much effort for nothing. So. I want/need loving words that make me feel like youāre the one putting in effort. I want you to tell me you love me, and that you need me, and that Iām oh-so-important. Just. Words of affirmation. Words of love. Sweet nothings would work too. Just something.Ā
