It’s really hard to figure out what I need when I just get frustrated talking to you. And I think wiser people would advise me to take space (which I am) away from the situation and come at it with a clearer mind and a more loving heart.
But I hate space so much. I want to be with you and I want to be able to support you. I want to be that pillar of support. But in doing so, I just get so frustrated and angry and the pit of my stomach wants to strangle you. So I guess we’re going with the space thing.
So the things I suspect I want right now, that I’m more or less convinced you’re unable to provide (but since it might not even be the case that these are things i need/things that would help me, it doesn’t seem fair or appropriate to ask you for it as you’re so busy.):
1. I think I need you to TELL me you need me. That you need my support. That you need someone to complain to, that you need someone to be understanding and loving and just there. I think I need you to tell me you need to talk to me, on the condition that I have to act as lovingly as I possibly can. I really just want you to make me feel like you need me.
2. I think I’m being pushed away, and I think that’s making me push you away more than I would have originally wanted. And I think a good compromise to this is just to talk for a little bit relatively soon, but I know I’m too petty for this. I’m pretty spiteful and I’m gonna commit to this really dumb idea of pushing you away until I inevitably explode. So, honestly. You just need to be like: “Can you stop.” Because I’m not all too sure I should. So if *you’re* the one who tells me, i can be convinced.
3. For now, and only for a little bit until I regain my composure, I need to stop feeling like I’m working hard in this relationship. I need to stop feeling like it’s hopeless, and it’s hard, and I’m putting too much effort for nothing. So. I want/need loving words that make me feel like you’re the one putting in effort. I want you to tell me you love me, and that you need me, and that I’m oh-so-important. Just. Words of affirmation. Words of love. Sweet nothings would work too. Just something.
