#regretsy

Lemme just start by saying that it's hard to draw the Mogwai as it is. She's got a weird face and some people want to draw her currently but end up using her younger features so it just all comes out a mess.

And then there are the just plain brave. They make me wonder if I can just crap out a doodle and make 🏦...the answer is probably yes.

Anyway, we all know the source photos for these (except for the uh...Scream one). Imma try not to be too mean. ...

This one has all the elements of a good pencil drawing — full range from black to white — just not organized all that great. Kids need to learn some perspective, since the glasses defying the solid physics of their plastic to curve up towards the sun like a plant desperate for sunlight. It's okay to use rulers when you draw.

I like how this one used AI/used the template to show how it would look inside your house. I can only imagine. "Oh wow, who is that?" "That's Jenna Ortega, silly!" "Who?" "The Wednesday actress..." "Oh...OOOOOOOHHHH...it's...it's somethin'." A conversation piece at conversation piece pricing.

Come on, what in the Taylor fucking Swift with a Bad Wig is this? I gotta know who bought this one since it's "low in stock, only 4 left!" Do you hate Jenna? Do you hate her? Because if you buy this, I think you might.

1. At least the one on the left got her forehead right. 2. Absolutely no one knows how to draw her nose. 3. No one knows how to draw her (but I like the random butterflies).

Okay, that last one's a lie because I came across a pretty decent one in my search. I absolutely despise charcoal, so I admire anyone who can work with it without smudging your hand across the fucking paper.

Could use some more black in the hair/fix the harsh brow arch, but otherwise very good (for charcoal, esp.).

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I'm like okay is that a straight up dildo that someone's selling on etsy? Is it a candle? What is it? I'm gonna click it.

I don't miss that you couldn't comment on posts.

I don't miss the quote lines that pushed one poor reblog comment off the edge of the post.

Or that the reblog button was at the TOP of the post meaning you had to scroll back up.

I don't miss the shitty gif upload limit.

Or the fact you couldn't send an ask without a question mark at the end. Remember 'fan mail'?

You know what I do miss?

How the FUCK is preordering an octopus specimen in a medium glass globe going to get me to be a trendsetter

HOW, Etsy????? Y’all are starting to get on some Goop-level shit with this ad

Victorian is a time period between 1837 and 1901.

Art Deco was a style popular from 1915 to roughly the 1930s, continuing to appear in art to this day. It was a reaction to...

Art Nouveau, a dramatically different art style characterized by organic lines, semi-precious stones in jewelry, and natural and folkloric themes. It was popular from roughly the 1890s to the 1920s. 

There were transitional Art Nouveau/Art Deco pieces, but Art Nouveau and Art Deco are very visibly different styles. A thing cannot be both. It can be transitional, but that’s not the same as being both styles at once.

Edwardian was a time period stretching from 1901 to 1910. Many styles popular during the Edwardian period persisted until the early 1920s, so even though it’s not technically correct, you can probably get away with calling things from like 1915 Edwardian if they’re in those same styles.

Antique is a term referring to items that are over 100 years old. THE 1920S ARE NOT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO YET. IT IS 2017. HOLD YOUR HORSES FOR THREE MORE DAMN YEARS AND THEN YOU CAN GO CRAZY LABELLING THAT FLAPPER HEADBAND “ANTIQUE.”

Vintage is a more nebulous term since we hijacked it from the wine community, but generally speaking, if something is under 100 years old but still old enough that it’s from a time today’s 18-year-olds wouldn’t remember, it’s vintage. OLD ITEMS FROM LESS THAN A CENTURY AGO ARE VINTAGE, NOT ANTIQUE.

This is all to say that, if you label your piece as “antique Victorian vintage Art Deco Art Nouveau,” I will come to your house, watch you sleep until you wake up, and then read this post at you through a megaphone until you physically get up and change the item name online.

If you label it all of those things and it is none of them, I will come to your house and replace everything vintage with exactly 100-year-old useless things, like shoelaces.