#reflextion

3XN/GXN' “Aware: Architecture and Senses,”

Now a lot of things have happened that made me change how I talk about celebrites. Now I rarely say “He’s such a nice person”, but I rather say “He treats his fans so nicely”. 

For starters, I am going through a rough time in my relationship of 7 years, because somewhere during his Erasmus he changed and I didn’t see it coming (or he just knew how to hide his hideous personality for 5 years), so I decided that I am in no way qualified to infere someone’s personality. If I can’t do it wtih my boyfriend, how am I supposed to do it with a celebrity?

Then there’s the whole thing about Shawn Mendes. I’ve seen some people saying they don’t recognise him anymore. Did he really change or has he just stopped caring about what we think of him? I don’t know if this is because of the personal bullshit I’ve been through for the past year, but the whole “I love you so much” and “you’re the best fans in the world” that made me blush (and internally think “come on, no need to be so intense, we get it”) just sound so fake and forced now. Like “I know I lost a big part of my fanbase, but, look, it’s still the same me”. I know we all change. I know I’ve done a lot of growing up the past 2 years, and we can’t expect him to keep a 20-year-old mindset, but idk...

And last, there’s the whole Niall Horan/Hailee Steinfield thing. You know how you feel when your parents go through a bad divorce and you end up picking sides? That’s how I feel right now about them. I love them both so much as artists. I was so so happy when they started dating, because two of my favourite artists were together and happy. Then they broke up and Hailee posted the “don’t date a narcissist” text. Then Heartbreak Weather started to be a thing (the singles started to come out), “Put A Little Love On Me” was out, followed shortly by “Wrong Direction”. I’ve got to say, even though it wasn’t a diss track, I felt so bad for Niall (I’d had PALLOM on repeat for days), but somewhere in the back of my head I started to think about what Hailee said. Could it be that we were all wrong all along? That Niall is a toxic person? A lot of people who’ve met him a couple of times say that he’s one of the nicest people in the industry. Again, who says it’s not a façade? Of course, when you meet a person for 10 minutes you can’t tell if he’s going to be as sweet and caring in a relationship. Now I’m kinda torn between the idea of good and toxic Niall. Nevertheless, I listen to each of his IG live while I study and I stream Heartbreak Weather 5 times a day.