#redroomcd

❛    sometimes  i  think  if  you  didn't  have  me,  there  wouldn't  be  a  single  person  in  the  world  who  really  understood  you.    ❜

drinking starters (accepting) // @redroomcd​​ ❝I’m usually too chicken-shit to say this, but…I really like you.❞

          it’s a fine night, really. it’s possibly the finest night he can recall having, though, in the Soldier’s case, that’s never saying too much --- not when the standards for comparison are ERASED / WIPED so often. of course, the chances of indulging in a fine night are tenfold when they’re away from home [they taught you what home is supposed to be, and now you cannot unlearn it]; whenever a mission far away arises, and it’s just the two of them. with no handlers to dictate law, with no one to hide from and walk on eggshells around. daring moments that have already cost them dearly, both of them... yet it seems both are terribly slow at changing habits; if they ever will, at all.

          a rather simple mission, as is --- gathering intel is never complicated between the two of them, as they do make for the perfect blend of charm and intimidation, subtlety and persuasiveness, stealth and efficacy; they make for the perfect team, period. perhaps that’s why they’re so feared, so closely observed, so tightly monitored. though there’s none of it to be found for the time being, during this week they’re spending at Belgrade, and it well explains the current state of affairs. how they’ve elected to just laze around all day and almost pass for regular tourists, how they’re now continuing to laze around in the small, modest hotel room --- with the sunset light spilling in through the window to paint everything in tones of crimson and gold, and making it almost easy to pretend their life is a normal one. ALMOST.

          indulgence that also takes other forms, as in proving right all stereotypes and leaving the market with an armful of bottles of vodka for dinner --- though, when it comes to their processing of it, the tale is suddenly changed entirely. if nothing else, because serum once injected into him absent consent makes him nearly impervious, whilst the same cannot be said about Natalia. definitely cannot be said, if what just slipped past her lips is any clue to go by --- making him now tilt his head, entertained with cleaning his gun that he was, and watching in amusement a she’s practically hugging the table with her cheek flat on it.

@redroomcd said: i just wanted my life to mean something!

--------- Having a responsibility like this wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for him. He always was the one trying to LEAD the team, trying to save the world. Being tasked with bringing back the stones was something that he didn’t even really need to think twice about before he said YES. Plus, well, not everyone could go -- how was anyone else other than him or Thor supposed to bring back Mjolnir ?? He didn’t know what he expected. But he didn’t exactly expect to get all of the stones back but also get back someone who he’d been mourning -- Natasha.

Sure, maybe there was a part of him that had HOPED. But he didn’t think it would be possible. Just being able to speak to her again, to reach out and touch her and feel that she was REAL was something he hadn’t prepared himself for. He figured that trying to get her back was worth it -- especially when he had nothing to lose. He understood, he did. He understood that she made the sacrifice for a reason. But it wasn’t one anyone wanted to accept once it had happened. “I knew we’d all need to make sacrifices, Nat. That we’d need to do anything possible. But I didn’t...” A pause. “I didn’t think that you’d ever have to make that choice.”

He had QUESTIONS. So many questions. But none of them felt right to ask. “What you did... God, Nat. We did it. We won.” Because of her. Because of Tony. Sure, they had won, but they had all won at what felt like too high of a price for Steve.

OCTOBER POSITIVITY!

             he stood from where he had sat ,  in the position he’d supposedly died in .     what was left was simply scars  ------  no pain ,  no limb loss ,  just  . . .  scars .     the scenery before him was beautiful ,  actually .     some sort of paradise ,  it seemed .    HOW did he get here ?     upon further observation ,  he did happen to see a familiar figure in the distance .     was that . . .

               ❛        nat ?    ❜

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑. when confusion led to curiosity, and curiosity led to discovery --- he loved it. but when confusion led to frustration, and frustration led to nowhere--- he hated it. that was where the mechanic was at the moment. it was still EARLY for frustration, but the longer he looked over the file in his hands, the closer he got to that stage.  ❝  gonna fill me in on what the hell i’m looking at, or am i supposed to guess?  ❞