#recognising patterns

Hey love,

Thanks for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I am sorry that you are going through such a stressful time right now and it is having a negative impact on your mental health. I hope I’ll be able to share some techniques and reassurances to start making things a little easier for you again. 

In short, yes, stress is definitely a big trigger for mental health issues such as anxiety. Around two years ago I was in the same position as you going into my 2nd year at University and suddenly the increased pressure and stress causes a major relapse in my mental health. But hopefully I can use this to show you and others that it is possible to overcome and you can succeed with anything you desire! We need to look at ways in which we could begin to reduce that stress. This may involve something like creating a daily schedule for the important tasks that you need to complete. So this could involve a revision schedule, or a homework timetable? If you start of small with maybe just half an hour of work a day, then gradually build it up; it’s important to keep small and manageable goals! But please remember that it is really important to leave time, at least an hour or two a day, for self care. For example, I take around 2 hours before I go to bed and fill that time with things I enjoy like creating art and music, and I also make sure to spend time caring for my hair and skin etc. Self care also involves things like making sure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. If you are struggling with stress right now, it may also help you to begin practising some mindfulness - here is our page about it!

To begin with, I’m going to link you to our page about social anxiety here; this has a lot of information about social anxiety and some of the diagnostic criteria.

Have you considered seeing a professional about this, lovely? If not, I think it would be a really good idea for you to reach out to your doctor or a therapist for support. They will be able to diagnose you if applicable, begin treatment, and hopefully share some great coping mechanisms with you. Here is our page about getting help if that is something that you want to consider; if this page leaves you with any questions about seeking treatment, then please drop us another message and one of the other admins or I will be more than willing to help you out!

It is important to note that when dealing with any type of mental illness, including social anxiety, there will be times during recovery when you struggle more again and feel as though you have gone back to square one - that is completely normal! But just because you may be having a bad day or period of time, it doesn’t mean that the progress you previously made has gone; now you know that you can do those great things and it gives you something to keep striving towards. You have made such good progress, love, and you can get there again!

To challenge negative thoughts, I found it really useful to stop, acknowledge my thought, and then ask myself whether I have any evidence to support that thought. For example, if I find myself thinking ‘he thinks i’m stupid’, I stop and ask myself ‘Are you just mind-reading? What evidence do you have to say that he thinks you’re stupid?’ Normally, you will find that you don’t have any evidence to support that thought, and challenging it can help you to dismiss and move over the thought.  I suggest you have a look at our anxiety page series, specifically the self-help and calming down pages. 

Grounding techniques are personally my go to method for dealing with my anxiety. Grounding techniques help you to reconnect with reality and keep your mind from wandering off in the negative thoughts. Here is a link to our page about different methods. Personally, I recommend something physical like running your hands under icy water. You could also try something like playing a categories game with yourself; so, try to think of ‘’breeds of dogs’’, ‘’states of the USA’’, or ‘’billboard charts’’ etc. It may take you a little while to find the most effective grounding techniques for you, but hopefully the ideas on our page will be of some use to you

Something I want you to try, if you feel able to, is to start looking at the patterns in your social anxiety. So think back to some of the times when you have experienced social anxiety, and start to break it down into:

Your thoughts before a social event (e.g. everyone will think i’m stupid)

The physical symptoms you experience (e.g. panic attack)

The negative view you have of yourself (e.g. i look really ugly today)

Avoidance behaviours you use (e.g. playing on my phone)

Your thoughts after a social event (e.g. everyone hates me and won’t want to spend time with me again)

It may also be really good to keep a diary for whenever you feel anxious in the future and note down how each attack fits into the above categories. This can be really useful as it helps you to understand what is behind the anxiety and it means you can start tackling it in smaller sections. Recognising and tackling it in smaller sections can help you to feel less overwhelmed and lost in the negatives!

I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely, Please remember that you are welcome to get back in touch with us whenever you want to. Please take care!