#recklessyouth

um brain flow, not a song. fail/win

I write, my brain ignites parts dealing with language and visual imagery,

I type blindly, eyes closed, fingers tap nimbly, sometimes tumbling.

preferring the dark to open up my perception,

eyes wide shut, reality not perceived now more or less concepted,

without light washing everything, I relate more to my reflection

close my eyes and what to or do i see,

no words, just blank, light through flesh looks green,

patters that entwine and twirl constantly,

the mosaic dance of geometry in my mind display

kinda reminds me of a ladder, amino acids, DNA?

isn’t DNA at the molecular level, imperceptible to naked optical veins

requiring the aid of mechanics to magnify it’s peptide chains?

occipital lobe transmitting and sending in code

and I wonder,

so what does the optical nerve receive in the dark sending,

transmissions to my neural cortex for rendering

to perceive anything without vision, is that thought or environmental stimulus?

without visible light, what exists beyond physical witness?

the thesis of science and physics once explained,

without tangible data, measurement, or mathematical certainty, metaphysical distained-

everything was matter, nothing else, things were as only what we could see

convenient thought to those caught up in lives busy things,

devoting time to their drive to attain more gold more health, the modern dream

I understand why, then also not. schools of thought conflict and and I ponder,

minutes, hours, years, I examine thought life as I wander

eventually one of these days,

ill choose what to believe, and perceive according so

rhetorically asking, always questioning what im told,

is the only way to live, im sorry, my soul and spirit given are bold,

and feel so uncomfortable with complacently getting old.

That’s the reason I give to my ADD,

its not a disorder, thats why I never claim it,

I simply name it so relate it to anyone else labeled and made feeling unable

I am NOT learning disabled, I am boundless in capability,

what I have is a state because of a overly excited reality

a multitude of options to experience, exponentially higher than the generations my senior,

since 1982, I had cartoons, fast food, and high fructose sweetener.

then it got even worse, with MTV, when I was 14 I was on AOL, chatting with pedophiles about NSync.

I was lucky, I was 17 with my first mobile phone,

a mototorla, the fat flip. analog, with straight tones, not-RING TONES.

it had 60 minutes a month, for 40 bucks prepaid,

and omg it was big as a brick, thick, and probally thats how much it weighed.

what the heck more now with ipods and touch,

Facebook, and tweets, and dear lord, unlimited texts for low cost?

So many interesting, disgusting, things I hear, touch, taste, and see,

my attention is commanded like stingy portion butter spread way too thinly,

how the hell could i keep still in this field of exiting irritation, to my psyche?

I thank my mom and dad for not sending me to to get the fix,

ritalin had my classmates piddling and twiddling their thumbs, obedient

my choice to get drugged later on was my own, it came and went.

education is a joke, it only chokes the only hope of freedom from illusion,

teaching only how to conform, and turn off your brains, leaving one in confusion,

if you could and you would succeed you did as a parrot,

put back onto paper what they told you, and kept daily attendance,

stayed active in extra curricular gigs, if you had the money, or the fafsa, you got into college,

where there is still a glimmer of substance for the uninitiated,

still turns out droves of tools for corporate wage enslavement

and wonder why we aren’t happy, even when we comfortably maintain

the status quo of society, cause you know inside its all its fake

only the few let that feeling rise to the conscious,

leaving them unsettled at first, then from there its just

either being always mad, or unresponsive

accepting where you are, or accepting responsibility

complacency is chosen, not imposed on or rewarded,

one of infinite paths of destiny to go with…

I digress, back to eyeballs in the dark, writing what I didn’t know how to say

cranial ,cerebral, the brain, rods and light and photons and rays,

names for things that never fully explain

sustaining the mundane, science divides through nomenclature

separating all of one sum into parts, calling them elements of nature,

defacing the beauty and erring the name of what is all of creation.

I remember I was 18, reading my first book on the new science,

it was about schrodingers cat, how it existed and didn’t,

when put in a box, it had two quantum positions,

it was, and it was not, there was no difference,

the cute kitty was there, and it wasn’t, all in the eternal instant.

it took me years to understand what the heck this dude was saying,

it was star wars stuff to me, everything is one, we’re strings!

vibration is the function though which energy is expressed,

nullifying and minimizing the concept of death, energy never ends, it transforms, absolute zero is where we come from, from nothing is everything, yielding

infinite possibility from anything, broken down smaller than elements,

smaller than atoms, then electrons, ions, we are also the space in between them, composed sub atomic woven networks bound by magnetic hems

well then that made sense, cause God said, “let there be light”

started his creation, which only after illumination, also created what was called first night.

in accordance with something i figured out when i was 12 or so, engaged in art,

light needed shadow to create lines which defined space apart,

lines, creating images, images represent structures and living,

without shadow, there would be no way to perceive what was in our vision.

white is only the combining of wavelengths expressed, a.k.a. colors,

yet if everything was white, then who could tell one from the other?

yet the same is in the dark, black, as we chose to describe it,

without light, black appears as the the state of blindness.

Why don’t we call blind peoples vision the state of whiteness?

At least in the dark, you can make up what you see, as long as you’re calm, your mind is free.

too much light overwhelms the eye, that- is truly blinding.

Too much bright light feels like too much loud sound,

filling the head with the feeling its drowned.