Jun 12
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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feeling very very sad about my vaginismus today.
why can't I just fuck like everyone eeeeeeeeeeeellssseeeeee
Soo I’ve been thinking about something lately and wanted to share, even though it feels a little vulnerable to put this out there. Might delete later..
Recently, I’ve been trying to put myself out there more, especially when it comes to meeting new people and making friends. I downloaded the Aceapp, hoping to connect with other asexual people, since it’s so hard to meet anyone who could understand me where I live. My island is so small, and people can be really judgy here, so it feels almost impossible to find someone who truly understands me.
But the thing is, my anxiety has been making it so hard to actually talk to anyone on the app. And the people there they just ask how are you? and OH you live on island where ? it must be nice and that's it. So I don’t know what to say or how to start a conversation, and I end up overthinking everything. It’s made me wonder if there’s something about me holding me back.I’ve never really fallen in love—maybe once in my life, I had a crush, I was really close to that person...but that’s it and it was when I was like 15. I had "a boyfriend" when I was 20 but only to have one to see, you know if I could have a relationship, but when He kissed me oh god I didn't find it appealing. So I was like maybe I like girls so at 24 I tried to date a girl It was even worse, and she didn't want to stay friends. Since then, nothing. I don’t even know I might be demiromantic or something else. And now, at 27 almost 28, I feel so stuck, like I’m just watching everyone else move forward with their lives while I’m left behind.
I really want to meet someone, I want to make real friends who get me, but I just don’t know how. I wonder if other people feel like this too. Do you ever feel like you’re the “stick” while everyone else is moving on? How do you deal with that?
And I know asexuality is only a part my personality is something else, I'm a querky nerd who fangirl a lot, love to stay at home and who doesn't have many friends.. I love my jobs and working. Still I don't know what to do or what to think... And am I the only one who is in this situation?
Just as I get back into wanting to do stuff, my aunt dies.
Just my luck
MY DAD'S DOG ALMOST KILL MY LEONA KINGSCHOLAR NUI
I leave it next to my pillow and I don't let the dog enter my room and I don't know how he got it and he has a history of killing any toy that enters his jaws.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
not that im romanticizing my current crying crisis or me being sad (im not even sad today, just a bad and normal day) but recently i've been remembering all of the times in this life when i had hidden my tears and feelings bc of other people—family or not—and it just makes me wanna cry even more bc it's not fair to me. it doesn't matter the reason, i shouldn't have done it. my feelings shouldn't be hidden, repressing them is just gonna be worse for me. and crying is not a bad thing. i know it's ugly and i hurt my nose every time it happens, but another thing happens as well: my mind gets clearer, i feel lighter. it's just like after going thru bad days and finding happiness in the later ones, u know? so if i have to cry now, whatever the reason, im just gonna let it, not hiding in the dark or the shower. im a person who feels too much and intensely—maybe im even dramatic, idk—so i should just...be me.
idk what it is about your magicians traits card art but that one speaks to me on a level I did not know I needed to see! maybe it's the floral skirt or cloak/armor like parts, just thank you for sharing it and making my brain go "brrr gender envy" for a tarot card lol
Thank you!
I see so much of my art tagged as gender envy, especially the angels and the magician. Which is incredibly endearing. The original design of the magician was 'on hiatus' for months. I thought it looked too static. You know what made me settle into the final design? A 'skirt go spinny' meme in a trans sub-reddit... I just thought 'you know what....the skirt does need to go spinny' and voilá, it worked! I always think of it when I see the magician
Now, what was I doing in a trans sub-reddit?