#realize it

I officially identify as butch 😊😊😊

Again, I feel a little silly just because this may seem like a “no duh” writing-on-the-wall conclusion, and I wouldn’t blame y’all for having assumed that I was already 😅 But I’ve been turning this over in my head for a long time, and especially since returning to tumblr. I didn’t want to claim butch identity without first being sure it really aligns with how I see myself and how I relate to the world. Butchfemme identity and dynamics feel sacred to me and so it was really important to me to be sure.

Context matters. But it does not justify her actions. And sure there’s a lot of other characters who have done shitty things & have their own reasons. But their actions aren’t justified either.

The main difference is that the Starks have a code. They follow this code (for the most part) in killing people, and believe in a justice that isn’t just their own. And if they act outside this, they don’t try to pass it off as some new revolutionary way of thinking that is somehow just because they want it to be. Dany instead believes in herself. If she thinks something is just, it is. She creates her own justice and doesn’t own up to what’s wrong. And that’s not okay.

She may have done a better job of this early on, but more and more throughout the series she’s gone away from following advice, adhering to moral standards, and trying to appease others. She more and more does what she wants when she wants to. She adopts this sense of entitlement & fire and blood mantra where everything she does is okay bc she is BORN to rule on the Iron Throne. And that’s just a completely misled and wrong way of thinking that I don’t think anyone on the show has truly shared besides Viserys, Khal Drogo (and maybe other khals) & Aerys. Like Varys said when you start believing in your own destiny that’s super dangerous. She buys into herself as a savior & that clouds her judgment. It’s not that Dany was never moral or never understood this. It’s that she CHOSE to go down the path of creating and believing in her own justice. And that is a dark path that leads to tyranny. There are consequences for that.

But make no mistake, she always had the makings of a tyrant. She was always leading up to this. She could have made different choices and gone down a lighter path & maybe because of all her life experience and trauma that was too hard for her. But that still doesn’t justify choosing the dark path. It gives us empathy but it doesn’t make it okay. That is super important to understand. She committed genocide. Flat out. On purpose when she didn’t need to. And you know what? she thought about doing it like 3x. Before she ever did.

I know this is gonna lead to BUT WHAT ABT SANSA WHEN SHE DID THE THING— or when the Starks did this—

Yeah Sansa feeding Ramsey to his hounds alive. Pretty cruel. Context makes sense. Is it morally justifiable? No. The penalty for treason is death. But it shouldn’t have been like that. It was wrong. It felt right but it wasn’t. Why was there no consequence? Well Jon knew what she’d been through and it was a war-time transition. Still not justified. This darkness she displayed though was brought up, I think, in her talk of giving away the ancestral homes of the traitorous families. To which Jon showed mercy and contradicted her, bringing back a sense of morality and code — something she later acknowledged was good.

Sansa holding a trial for Littlefinger in front of the entire court and having Arya execute him as an extension of herself? well that’s different than most of what Dany did. He got a trial. Bran KNEW what he did exactly. And the penalty for treason & murder is death. He betrayed her and her father and her mother. He murdered Aunt Lysa.

Ned executing a deserter from the Night’s Watch was hard for him. It was also just. Deserters are killed.

Jon killing the men who betrayed him. They literally held a coup and killed the lord commander of the Nights Watch. Also different. He literally came back to life and is the best witness ever. So like we didn’t see a trial... but do we need one? We KNOW. They all KNOW. They might’ve even had one. He’s Lord Commander and he passed the sentence himself. The punishment for their crimes Is death. That’s just according to their code. But He also killed a boy. Which obviously in our time wouldn’t be okay at all. It haunts him. We see that. He’s devastated that he’s had to do that.

Dany is also haunted when her dragon kills a little girl. She remembers the name and fears what her dragons can do. She even locks them up for a time... onLy to let them out again and embrace what they are. In the books she even forget the girls name signifying it’s no longer important to her. That’s similar to the sentiment she offers Sansa “what do dragons eat anyway — whatever they want.” That’s freaking forbidding af. When the dragons fly overhead, Dany literally smirks like a proud mom when people scream and scramble in fear of them.

Jon has literally admitted he never liked killing - he doesn’t like what he’s good at.

Also pls don’t bring up war to compare the terrible deeds Jon has done versus Dany. Yeah Jon killed people in an army to take back Winterfell. That’s battle and it’s different. He also tried to fight Ramsey one on one to spare bloodshed.

Jon killed wildlings. He killed Qhorin Halfhand. He did that to infiltrate the wildlings and for the betterment of the Night’s Watch and the entire realm. He also didn’t kill Ygritte (bc he didn’t see how she was guilty/evil) which got his brothers killed, and he wanted to kill Crastor (a perpetual incestual rapist and abuser) which would have also gotten his brothers killed. He made decisions based on his code - guarding the realms of men and stuff.

Arya’s list of revenge kills isn’t just either. It feels that way but it’s also just her creating her own justice instead of letting the code and laws do that for her. It feels good in the moment, but as she learns from the Hound it actually turns you into an ugly person with an ugly and doomed life. We aren’t met to watch Aryas journey and conclude that her revenge is okay. Similarly to Daenerys arc, we are meant to realize oh we’ve been rooting for something unfulfilling for her & she could live a much more healthy and normal life if she would turn away from this behavior. We can understand her actions because of context and even root for them at times, but it doesn’t justify them morally. Killing without a trial is still killing even if they’re a killer. Feeding someone’s sons to him is still so fucking cruel. Most importantly though she doesn’t justify her actions. She is okay with committing them, for sure, but she doesn’t try to tell others that she was right. She doesn’t try to pass off her cruelty for mercy or for justice.

Dany’s problem is she justifies her immoral choices as JUST. She tries to pass them off as right. Where some other characters (the more honorable and noble ones) would admit their wrongdoings.

But it’s pretty baffling how much y’all can’t just admit you were wrong to support her... the entire lesson you were supposed to learn is this is how tyrants rise to power. Slowly, deliberately, by doing things that seem good at the time. She sucked me in too & I believed in her until I rewatched the series 5x and saw her for what she is. I truly believe if you didn’t see it coming you’re either delusional or a casual watcher. I don’t actually know how you could be paying attention really well and be shocked. It’s very obvious she was going to go mad. It’s very obvious she was going to choose violence. It’s very obvious she was going to adopt the “fire and blood” motto. Like rewatching a couple times it hits you straight in the face.