Artists are the most insecure while simultaneously being the most egotistical people in the universe. This is true of every artist I have ever met, not matter their art form.
I am all artist. I love all art, if it's artsy; I want to do it. I love crafts, I love painting, I love music and singing (in the shower, not for real humans) and I love writing.
No matter what form of art I am doing, I am always tempted to keep it to myself. I did photography for a long time before I felt "safe" showing others what I could do, and even now, I sometimes feel certain things are not good enough to show others.
Showing your art, in any form, to others is like opening up your soul to them, whether you or they realize it or not. I pour my heart and soul into anything I do, and when it is something I have created, I love it like I love the children I created.
I have been writing stories since I had the ability to write. I wrote my first "novel" at 9 years old. I haven't shared my writing (outside of blog form) with anyone since I was 14. That means it has been almost 11 years since another soul has read any of my fiction.
This scares the crap out of me.
I have had editors, marketers, writers, and readers beta read my book for feedback and it has been the most nerve racking experience of my life.
In a few short weeks my book will be released. People will buy it, they will read it, and they will have opinions. Can I handle that? My name will be on this book and people I know will see it and read it simply because I wrote it. Will they be kind?
This book is NOT everyone's cup of tea, I know this. It deals with a lot of tough subjects and has some language, something I know a lot of my family may judge me for.
I have been battling with a great deal of fear and insecurity leading up to the release, and I honestly don't think there is anything I can do to make this feeling go away, or to avoid it. If I publish more, I will likely still get this feeling.
Guess what, it doesn't matter.
This is my dream, and I am going after it. I have wanted to be a published author since I was 7, and I am about to be one. People may have opinions about what I wrote about, or how I wrote it, or anything else, and that's ok. This isn't there dream, its mine. They will not regret it if I don't write books, but I will. They will not go crazy with the stories swirling in their mind, I will.
This is my story, and I am writing it the way I feel led. God has given me this gift and it would be wrong not to use it in the way I feel led.
I thank you all for your love and support and hope you will consider purchasing it when it comes out, but if not, I will understand.
