#readerxmompepper

The rest of the day was pretty terrible for Peter. All he wanted to do was go home, lock himself in his room, and stay there the rest of the year.

Well, his day got a little better when he found out that you had the same lunch as him. Even better you decided to sit with him.

“H-hey Y/N,” He stuttered out, the surprise on his face was evident.

You smiled kindly at him. “Hey, you don’t mind me sitting with you right? None of my friends have this lunch period, and I really don’t want to go sit with the fake cheerleaders.”

“Uh, y-yeah. I-I mean no, no I don’t mind at all.” He wanted to beat himself in the head for his awkwardness.

“Thank you.” You said, pulling your lunch from your bag. “So, how was your summer?”

Peter shrugged. “It was alright,” He lied. You didn’t need to know about how summer for him meant the torture of working part time jobs, nor about his anxiety and depression. Especially not about him trying to commit suicide. “What about you? Do anything exciting?”

You smiled, “It was nice, we went Amsterdam for a couple weeks, that was about it though. Just saw some sights and relaxed. But of course Connor had to ruin it like he does everything.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but Amsterdam sounds neat. I’ve never been out of the country,” in fact he was jealous, but he wasn’t going to say it like that. He would never have a life of luxury like that. Even if you didn’t like your brother.

“Oh, hey I’m sorry about Connor earlier this morning… He’s such an ass.”

Peter rubbed at the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged red. “Oh, d-don’t be sorry… That was my fault.”

“You’re too kind, Peter,” You offered, reaching across the table and placing a hand on his arm. “But really, I am sorry.”

Even his ears turned red as you touched him. “Th-th-thank you.”

You smiled and went to eating your lunch.

Peter started to read way too much into that small gesture. He already had a crush on you, but just the thought of you possibly liking him back was invading his mind now. And suddenly, he found a small light in his darkness. He found himself a reason to want to keep going.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The rest of his day was not good at all compared to his lunch.

Of course his favorite bully Flash found him. That ended in him getting beat up, a bloody nose, making him late to class and ending himself in detention.

But, at least he was allowed to use the computer during detention.

Dear Peter Parker,

This year’s going to be a great year and here’s why… what a joke. This year is the last thing I want to get through. Between the work that I know will be coming. Having to help Aunt May with bills still, which means another part time job. Trying to not piss off both Flash Thompson and Connor Stark, yeah like I’ll manage that. Here’s to another great year of getting the shit kicked out of me for no other reason than that I’m a freak.

I would love to know if anyone would even notice if I wasn’t here. Would anyone care? I’d lighten Aunt May’s struggles of having to be a single parent to a kid that was dumped on her doorstep. I wouldn’t be the school’s freak so they wouldn’t have to waste their time making fun of me. Flash would probably notice just because he wouldn’t have anyone to beat up but it’s not like he’d really care. MJ definitely wouldn’t. Ned maybe.

But, at least there’s Y/N. Maybe she would notice.

God, I know it’s stupid to even think I could have a chance with her… but… I want one. She’s the only thing in my awful life that isn’t terrible. She’s beautiful and kind. I couldn’t believe when she sat with me at lunch today. Granted, I really think it was so she could apologize for her brother. He’s such an asshole. He has the world handed to him having the city’s richest parents. He’s terrible to his sister. I just can’t imagine being like that when you literally don’t have any problems.

If I ever get the chance to be with Y/N, I really don’t know if my anxiety would be enough to stop me from saying something to him. But until then, if it were to even happen probably not, I’ll avoid him as best I can and try to act more normal around Y/N so that maybe she’ll like me too. She’s the only person that remotely makes me feel something other than this terrible pain in my chest.

He hit print and got up to go get the paper. As he made it to the printer he noticed Connor sitting at the table right beside it.

With his hand holding his head up he eyed Peter sideways. “What happened to your arm?” He asked, eyebrow raising.

Shock was all Peter could feel now. He was trying to avoid being noticed by the older boy, but luck was never on his side.

Connor dropped his hand and looked at Peter expectantly. “Well?”

“Oh, uh, I uh I fell… out of a tree,” he lied, sending a glance to the printer which had finished. If he grabbed the paper now Connor might ask about it.

“That sucks,” he commented. “Sit down, Parker.”

Peter visibly gulped but he obeyed. He shot a glance at the printer hoping no one would take it. He sat across from Connor, hoping this wasn’t going to end badly, but it was him so it probably would.

Connor dug through his bag and pulled out a black marker. He reached for Peter’s cast.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked, pulling his arm back.

Connor rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna sign it. Obviously no one else wants to.”

Peter looked at him skeptically before extending his arm.

In big black letters Connor wrote his name before recapping the marker.

“Uh, thanks,” Peter said, looking at it.

Connor nodded. “So, you like my sister, don’t you?”

A blush shot across Peter’s cheeks, neck and ears. “W-W-”

Connor smiled a tight lipped smile at him and shook his head. “Course you do, who doesn’t? Even us miserable people have to have something, right?”

The bell rang, signaling that they could finally leave.

The two stood, Peter quick and Connor slowly.

“You know,” Connor started, making Peter pause in his escape. “Life sucks, but you could make it suck less if you tried harder.”

Peter wanted to comment about how Connor had a great life that he purposely ruined everyday by acting the way he does, but he didn’t.

“Falling out of a tree? You got a lot going for you and you don’t even see it.”

Peter knew then that Connor knew he’d lied. He turned back around and continued out of the room.

Connor gathered his things. He glanced at the printer, Peter’s reason for coming over in the first place. The paper was still there so he grabbed it. He hated himself more as he read over Peter’s letter to himself. Of course, he didn’t blame Peter for accusing him of having no problems. Not even his fucking parents wanted to notice. They just wanted be believe he liked to act out. He may have had the chance for the world to be handed to him, but he wasn’t perfect. It hurt, he hated being this way. He didn’t want to be the family disappointment. He didn’t want to be cursed with the broken light inside him. His real problem was he hated himself for not being able to do anything about it.

He couldn’t even be honest and just tell his family he loved them, that he would kill for them, die for them if it meant they’d be happy. He couldn’t even look Peter in the eyes and tell him he thought he was perfect. That he was jealous that of course he had eyes on his sister. He crumpled the paper up and threw it in the trash. The words burned into his mind as he made his way home. He always contemplated it, and maybe Peter had the right idea, he still wasn’t sure.

Peter on the other hand made it two blocks away from school before he realized he forgot his letter. He ran back, and discovered it gone. He knew it had to be Connor’s doing. When he made it home he prayed that the next morning wouldn’t start with a beating from him for the horrible things he’d said. He hoped Connor wouldn’t show you and ruin any chance he could even dream of.

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