#dad!tonyxreader

Your birthday was coming up and you were excited. You were excited because you were going to start a new chapter in your life. You just graduated high school as Valedictorian. You can still remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a wonderful May night. You gave a speech on never forgetting who you are and always striving to be better. To continue to prove that we as the next generation are going to change America by not taking crap from anyone. You ending it with we are no longer the kids of the future but the adults of the future. You went to grad night and had the time of your life. The last night of everyone being together before you all headed out for college. You were accepted to all the colleges you applied for but decided NYU was the way to go because it was close to the new home you purchased for your mum. And also close to the Stark tower where you hoped to intern this summer. 

It was about a month before your birthday and your mum got very ill. She was all you had. You never met any other relative so she was your everything. She was sick for about two years but this past year was harsh. She hoped you wouldn't find out that she was this sick until you were in college. She didn't know that you had bought a house for her in New York. You wanted to be close to her. You thought that her being in California and you in New York was too far away.

She hadn't planned on you buying a house. She hoped that when she passed you wouldn't have to see her as sick as she was. She was going to call you up and tell you to go see her in Cali. She had stage IV breast cancer. She didn't want you to worry about her. She was a fighter and if you knew the severity you would have treated her differently and she wouldn't have made it this far.

One night when you came home from work you saw your mum laying on the couch. You walked into the living room and went to sit by her, that is when you realized that she wasn’t breathing too well. You helped her up and you both walked to the car. As you drove her to the hospital all you could think of was, that these were your last moments with her. You couldn’t believe that you hadn’t realized she was this sick. You were too worried about school, work, and getting all of the money for the new house. As you reached the hospital you wheeled her in and just like that, they took her from you.

When she was finally situated in a room, the doctors told you that she didn't have much time. She had been battling it for awhile and you never noticed how severe it was. You wish you could back and change everything. You would get up early every day and go to school, stay late for school activities then part-time work and repeat Monday-Friday. You would take longer shifts on Saturday's and Sunday’s to save for the new house. You were hardly ever home. You thought if you would have been more attentive at home she wouldn't have had to battle this alone.

You felt guilty because she was always working so you had everything you ever needed for school. She saved up money for you to go to college because she wasn't sure if you were going to get a scholarship or not. She didn't ask much from you but to work hard and get good grades. She wanted the best for you. She never wanted to see you struggle and she never wanted to see you hurt. She figured it would be easier on you too not have to constantly worry about her. "Mum why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you get help? We have my college tuition money!" You yelled. "Y/N please I don't want to argue. I didn't want to tell you because it was your senior year and I wanted you to enjoy it." Your mum whispered. "You should have told me. I could have helped. I would have gotten a second job. I could have helped you." Tears streaming down your face. "You're all I have and I don't know what I am going to do if I lose you, Mum. You are the most important person to me and you didn't tell me. You should have gotten help." "I didn't want to burden you. I knew you were busy with school. I didn't tell you because you have so-much potential-that I knew that if you- knew you would give it up. And I didn't want you too. I love you and all I've ever wanted was for you to succeed." coughing in between because it was hard for her to breathe."You can do anything y/n. You will succeed and even if I am not here to see it physically I will always be here in your heart." Tears streaming down both of your faces. 

It's been a week since you found out about your mum. You felt like shit. The only thing that kept you going was that she was still fighting. She was getting a little better so you told her you were going to go home and get clothes for the both of them. Before leaving you told her " I love you mum. You are my hero and you always will be no matter what happens to us. I want you to know that I appreciate everything you've done for me. I love you so much, mum." Kissing the top of her head.

You were glad that the hospital was only a few blocks from the apartment. You ran home and got your stuff and ran back as quickly as possible. When you got there, you saw multiple nurses in the room with your mum. You dropped everything and ran to her. "I'm right here mom you don't have to worry I'm not going leave your side." Tears a steaming. They finally got her to where she needs to be for her to be stable. Before falling asleep one last time your mother told you " I want you to know something. I want you to know that you are inspirational. You are talented, gifted, beautiful and kind. Even if the world wrongs you promise me you'll never do anything I wouldn't approve of. I love you (Y/N) more than you'll ever know. When you have children of your own you will understand why I kept this a secret. You are my beautiful girl. Don't ever forget how proud I am of you. I love you always." "I love you too mom now get some sleep so you can get better." You both fell fast asleep only to be woken up by the sound of a flat line. You didn't want to believe it. You just hoped it was a nightmare. You turned until you realized it wasn't. You were sobbing and screaming "HELP PLEASE SOMEONE HELP.”

But you already knew it was too late there was nothing they could do. You felt helpless and alone. You couldn't believe it your mum was actually gone. The next morning you woke up in bed. You didn't know how you got there or what happened after you left the hospital but all you remembered was losing your mUm was not a dream. The next week was one of the worst days of your life. You planned the funeral and it was a small service. During the week leading up to the funeral, a lot of your friends visited and family you never met even came by. You were furious when they showed up. All you could think of was how they want to be a part of your life after your mum had passed. During the funeral, you said your word and final goodbyes. Your friends offer to take you home but you wanted to be alone. You stayed about an hour-longer to talk to your mum. Apologizing for not realizing sooner and promising her that you will continue your hard work and her legacy.

You noticed someone staring at you. That is when you realized who it was. It was Pepper Potts Tony freaking Starks girlfriend. You wondered why she was there. Most likely to tell you about the internship. She walked up and said, "Hello I'm Pepper and I assume you are (Y/n)." You nodded unable to say anything due to the fact you just buried your Mum. "Well, I wanted to congratulate you in person. I tried calling but I got no answer so I hoped I could find you somewhere to tell you about your internship." You scoffed "Listen, Pepper is it." But you knew exactly who she was, she was dating one of your idols. " I don't want your pity so, if you are only offering me this because I just laid my mum to rest you and Mr. Stark can go fuck yourselves." You both just stared at each other for about a min before she spoke up "Look, kid, he wanted to give you this internship before you even graduated high school. He had seen you at the national science fair and he saw how interested you were in engineering and he said you reminded him of a younger him. He also saw you at the decathlon. You won for your team isn't that right." You looked up confused as to why he wanted you. "You were the top of your class, right? Miss valedictorian." She sat you down on the bench and explained more. He said you were fascinating and looked you up. He found out who you were and what your grades were like and he said he had to have the best. "So here we are. We understand if you need a couple of weeks even months the internship is yours whenever you want it." She said. You asked, " When can I start." You need a distraction from everything that has been going on you need a break. "Whenever you want. How about tomorrow come to the tower around noon if that's good with you." She replied. ----------------- It was 11:15 when you were finally ready. You put on a pair of blue jeans with a black shirt and Maroon docs. You remember Pepper telling you to dress comfortably. So you wore what you would wear anywhere. You were going to drive but it said it would have taken an hour because of traffic. The bus route was faster. You ran to the bus but just missed it. You knew the next bus wouldn't arrive for about 20 mins about a ten-minute difference if you just walked/jogged there. So you were walking and at a pretty quick pace so you could get to the tower. Or so you thought. When you finally reached the tower it was 11:56. You didn't know exactly how to get to where you needed to be. When you were searching for someone to help you, you bumped into a beautiful tall man with brown hair and blue eyes. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I'm in a rush. Sorry." You apologize not looking at him yet. When you do you see his beautiful blue eyes shine off the sun.

‘It's okay, doll. It was my fault I wasn't watching where I was going." He spoke sweetly You couldn't help but just stare at how beautiful he was. "You said you were in a rush. I think I can help who are you looking for?" He asked "I'm looking for Tony Stark." "You can find him on the six floor just head in the elevator and say FRIDAY take me to Tony. And she will get you there." He stood smiling at you. "Thanks so much." You stared before realizing you were going to be late. "Okay well, it was nice meeting you." As you walk away you turn "Oh I didn't catch your name what was it?" You asked "It's bu- it's James my name is James." "Well thank you, James, it was a pleasure." "Oh Doll, before I forget what is your name?" "It's (Y/N)!" You yelled just a little because of distance. He whispered, " I figured it was something beautiful." He spoke louder " It was nice to meet you. Hope to see you around." On the elevator ride where you were in awe. You hoped that you would see him around more often. You smiled at the ground, you hadn't thought about your mum at all until you saw your reflection in the elevators "mirrors". At that moment you thought that you thinking about a guy was the wrong decision. You just needed to focus on this internship. As you walked down the hallway you got to the door. As you stood in front of his door you knocked softly twice and then the third with force. You thought this is it. First impressions are everything. As you stand there ready the door opens and there he is your father a.k.a Tony Stark. 

let me know if you wanna be tagged in future fics. :)

You arrived home after a particularly stressful week. It was your last week of you first year in college, which meant there was nothing but exams. Although those were the easy part of your week. The stress came when your dad was doing Avengers things. It wasn’t the worst it had been, but things got pretty bad from what you’d heard about the mission. Which meant that you had more bodyguards than usual, which stressed you out for those exams more because instead of one guy sitting in the back of the room there was one outside the door, and three other guys in the room with you, which stressed all your classmates out, and well that was just more stress on you.

It wasn’t something you did everyday, but you did have an outlet to help you relax. And since you had the extra guards it was becoming increasingly difficult to partake in said outlet. Normally you wouldn’t think to do it at home. You would sneak out at night, or go to a friends where your guard had to sit in another room, you needed some privacy afterall, or you’d find another way. But you were getting desperate for a way to calm down and you knew you only had one choice.

Once in your room you shut your door on the men that had been stuck following you around to your boring tests. You grabbed the small box you kept hidden in one of your dresser drawers under some clothes and took it into your bathroom.

After locking the door, you turn on the air vent and proceeded to set everything up.

The first drag already had you in it’s grasp. Sure, there was slight discomfort in your lungs, and you knew the risk of lung cancer. But you didn’t care. Weed was your saving grace in stressful times. It worked better than any kind of anti-anxiety you’d tried and it let you be a little more care free.

It was just nice to relax. You sat there smoking alone. Right as you were about to stamp it out your bathroom door was unlocked and opened.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Your father was stood there, eyes wide with shock.

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Dad!” You were scrambling to make it seem like you weren’t just doing what he caught you doing. “You can’t just come in my bathroom like that!” Your face was beet red.

Tony shook his head. He couldn’t believe this was happening. You were just like him, why did you have to be just like him? Tony held his hand up. “Pardon me for being told that the smell of marijuana was drifting from your room. Did you really think you wouldn’t be caught? I don’t care if you want your privacy. I knew exactly what you were doing in here and I’ll enter any room I please when I have a damn good reason to. Get that shit out of here now.”

You wanted to argue back, but you knew that it would only upset him more. So, you scrambled to get everything cleaned up before you were throwing it into a bag and leaving to discard of it outside in a dumpster. You returned upstairs, slowly, as the fear crept in of what your dad was going to say or do.

You found him waiting for you in the living room. He waved you over, knowing you’d continue standing there if he didn’t. You went and sat across from him. You knew your anxiety would be through the roof if you hadn’t just gotten high, because even being high you were freaking out.

“So?” Tony asked, expectantly.

You didn’t answer.

Tony sighed. “Sunshine, I’m not… okay well I’m a little mad, but probably not as mad as you think. So just talk to me about this.”

You couldn’t even look up at him.

“Okay look, I just want to know how you got it… what if it was laced with something… do you even know who the person was you got it from?”

“I got it from a friend it’s fine…” you finally offered, hoping that could be the end of it.

“Can you trust them? Where did they get it from? Some drug dealer off the streets? How did you even get it, your bodyguard slacking? Because if that’s the case-”

“Dad stop, it’s really not a big deal, it’s just weed. You don’t need to fire anyone because I sneak around. You know I wouldn’t even do it if it wasn’t for you and your annoying bodyguards! I’m 19 I don’t need a babysitter in my college classes. Especially 4 of them when we’re taking finals!”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know you could have just talked to me about that. You know how Happy gets-”

“Happy?! You mean how you get, right?”

“I never told Happy it had to be 4 guys watching you, Y/N. Yes, I wanted to make sure you were properly protected, but you could have said, dad I just don’t want people in my classroom or maybe just 2 guys instead of 4. I’ll talk to Happy, but that doesn’t mean you should be smoking, especially in our home!”

“What?” You asked, and he knew you were about to challenge him. “Would you rather I do it at someone else's house? Or how about in an alley somewhere? Hey how about the school library, would that be better?”

Your father rubbed his forehead. “I’d prefer you to talk about your problems and not resort to drugs,Y/N.”

“Oh my God, dad, it’s only weed. There are way worse things out there than-“

“I don’t care about the worse things. It’s this right now. Do you even know how dangerous it can be?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh my God, dad, why is this such a crazy big deal? It isn’t like it’s illegal!”

“It’s a big deal because I don’t want you to be like me!” He all but shouted.

You flinched at his raised voice and looked away from him.

Tony sighed as he looked at you, “I’m sorry for yelling… but I need you to understand.”

“I get it just fine, dad. I can’t make my own decisions because you don't want me to be like you… well I’m sorry you got stuck with someone that is exactly like you.” You left him there, rather shell shocked.

It was a few hours later when your dad finally tried to confront you again. He knocked on your door and waited for a response.

You wanted to ignore him but you knew he would not go away until you answered. So, you told him to come in.

He went and sat beside you on your bed. “Sunshine, I hope you knew that if you really need to smoke as an outlet, it’s fine. But please at least bring it to the lab first so we can make sure it’s alright.”

You stared at him surprised, but you nodded in response.

Your dad’s message had just ended for Pepper. His words making both of you cry. You didn’t want to be hearing this. It was too soon.

“Sunshine,” He started to you. “I’m… I can’t express how absolutely sorry I am to you. That I won’t be there for you. I need you to remember I… I did this all for you. Every time I put that suit on it was so that the world might be a little safer for you… but look how that turned out. Just remember how much I love you. Because I’m going to be thinking about you for the rest of my time. You’ve made me so proud baby girl. Do great things.” He sent you a kiss before the footage cut off.

You sobbed into Pepper’s shoulder, unsure of what to do. Half the world was gone, the other half was in absolute chaos. Your dad was dying somewhere in space. You were just 16, you didn’t know how to deal with all of this. But somewhere in your mind, you knew what had to be done.

As soon as you settled down enough you were getting up.

Pepper wiped at her own face as she watched you. “Y/N, where are you going?”

“To the lab,” You told her. “I can’t just sit here while dad dies in space. I’m going to find him and we’re going to bring him home.”

The determination in your eyes lit the fire in Pepper. She stood and followed you. The two of you worked together in the lab. You were on a time crunch, but you were going to get this work if it killed you. Which it could, but you didn’t care you needed your dad back.

Pepper held your hand tightly as your machine started up. With your dad’s DNA you could use it to track his location no matter how far away he was.

When it pinpointed him you couldn’t stop yourself. Pepper ran after you as you headed towards the air strip. The new and improved Quinjet was there waiting. Maybe you were just starting to learn how to pilot the thing, but once you punched in your dad coordinates, you threw it into auto. Pepper didn’t hesitate to go with you. She was not going to let you go into space for your dad alone, especially if you found him and he wasn’t alive.

It felt like forever, but you knew you’d make it to him, and you did. WIth only moments to spare.

As soon as he was on the ship, a robot alien in tow named Nebula, he didn’t let go of you or Pepper.

You cried into his shoulder. “I’m so glad we made it.”

“Me too,” Tony said, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so proud of you.”

Things between you and Peter the following week were still a bit awkward. However, you still sat with him, and the two of you talked about everything you possibly could. Obviously that didn’t involve your brother.

The two of you were walking together to class when you passed your brother’s locker. Some people had made a little memorial when the news about him hit the school. It was a nice gesture. Until you looked at it now. It was practically destroyed. The picture of his was crooked and some things had been torn down and other things trampled. You paused for a moment to look at it.

“Oh man,” Peter said, rubbing the back of his neck. He went over and straightened the picture. Before going back to you.

You just kept walking. “Well, I can’t lie. I’m glad everyone’s already done talking about it.”

“Yeah,” Connor said, appearing beside Peter.

Peter jumped slightly. He hadn’t seen Connor since last week.

“It’s great to be forgotten, not like anyone liked me anyway.” He continued.

“I don’t know… that’s pretty sad,” Peter said. “Just being forgotten like that?”

You shrugged. “Maybe if he hadn’t been such a dick-“

“Hey,” Peter cut you off. “Yeah he was but, no one deserves being forgotten, especially when they took their own life because they didn’t see any other option…”

You glanced at him, you knew he was right. You sighed and pushed some of your hair aside. “You’re completely right. Sorry, I’m just… still trying to process everything…”

“You gonna fall for that?” Connor asked. “She cares less than my genius father.”

“I know you’re struggling with all this but I hope you don’t mind me saying, that’s not the best way to handle it.”

You slid your hand into his and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks Peter, I know I’m not fair about it a lot. I appreciate you telling me when I’m being insensitive about it. Sometimes my anger towards him covers up the fact that my brother really did need help…”

The two of you entered your class, ending the conversation.

“Hey Parker,” MJ said, approaching him at his locker towards the end of the day.

“Hey,” he greeted, shoving a book into his bag.

“Heard you talking to Y/N earlier about Connor.”

Peter looked at her, brow arched. “Y-yeah, what about it?”

“Just wanted to tell you that was a good thing you did telling her off like that.”

His eyes widened. “I didn’t tell her off!”

MJ rolled her eyes. “Okay, well you rightly informed her about how horrible suicide is and how it’s not right to treat people that commit like they deserved it. Wish there was something we could do for people that feel that way.”

“Y-Yeah, me too.”

“See ya tomorrow,” She said, leaving him.

Peter walked home, deep in thought. As soon as he got home he flopped onto his bed and threw a pillow over his head.

“We’re just losers, waiting to be seen,” Connor said, his voice muffled through the pillow.

Peter moved it aside and sat up beside him.

“No one seems to care or even stops to notice us. We get lost.”

Peter watched him, wishing he could have seen that Connor needed someone just as much as he had only a few weeks ago.

“MJ’s idea, about doing something wasn’t a bad one. If… if you could keep people thinking of me, so I’m not just some abandoned memory… that means we matter too. It means someone will you that you’re there.”

He thought his words over, nodding slowly.

“No one deserves to be forgotten or fade away. People need to know we’re here.”

“It’s true,” Peter finally said.

Connor looked at him a bit surprised. “Even if you’ve always been barely in the background-”

“You still matter,” Peter cut off.

“If you never get to do something remarkable, that doesn’t mean-”

“That you’re not worth remembering.”

“Think of the people who need to know,” Connor said getting up, he put his hands on Peter’s shoulders.

Peter nodded. “They need to know.”

“You need to show them, Peter. No one should have any doubt that they matter. It was a lesson I learned too late.”

“No one deserves to disappear,” Peter said, getting an idea. He went over to his computer and started planning away.

“When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, when you hit the ground, all you need is somebody to find you.”

Peter worked the majority of the night. He set up the webpage, made a brochure, set out the entire plan. However, he’d still need help. “I’m calling it The Connor Project,” He told Ned and MJ the following morning, sharing his plans with them.

“You’re starting some group to remember Connor Stark?” Ned asked.

“It’s a student group dedicated to keeping his memory alive, to show that everybody should matter.” He explained, looking at them with hopeful eyes. He needed their help.

MJ smiled widely. “We have to do this. Not just for Connor but for everyone.”

“Because no one deserves to be forgotten.” Peter stated.

To his surprise, both agreed. He supposed Ned knew him well enough to know that this was important to him, so he knew even if he didn’t like Connor, Peter was still his friend.

So, the three of them planned a spiel to give the Stark’s that afternoon to let them know what they had planned.

“We’re calling it the Connor Project,” Peter told Pepper and Tony.

“The Connor Project?” Pepper asked.

“Imagine a major online presence.”

“A massive fundraising drive,” Ned added.

“And for the kickoff event a school wide memorial assembly,” MJ finished.

Tony eyed them skeptically. “I never knew Connor meant this much to people.”

“This is so wonderful, Peter,” Pepper said, going over and hugging him. “No one deserves to be forgotten and this is a great way to show that. Please, let us know if you need anything, alright?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Stark,” Peter said, hugging the woman back.

After talking a bit more with them the trio started to make their way out. Only, you ran into them before they got on the elevator.

“Peter?” You questioned. “What are you guys doing here?”

He offered a nervous smile. “Oh, um well we were pitching something to your parents…”

“We’ll see you later, Pete,” Ned said, giving MJ a small shove towards the elevator, leaving the two of you to talk.

Peter waved goodbye to his friends.

You nodded for him to follow you back to your room.

Once there he explained the plan again to you.

You nodded slowly when he was finished. “That’s very nice of you, Peter. I’m sure it will be incredible work you do.”

He sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck. “Thanks.”

You glanced over to that picture on your nightstand, then turned it down.

Peter frowned at you. “You okay?”

With a sigh you explained. “I just… still don’t know how I feel. I’m tired of this, I just want it all to go away.”

He placed his hand down on top of yours. “I understand. How about we talk about something else?”

You nodded, appreciating the gesture.

After a few days everything was set. The only problem, was that Peter was the one that had to give a speech during the memorial assembly.

To say he was nervous was an understatement.

He invited the Stark’s and they said they would be happy to go. Well, except for you.

Peter was rather upset that you weren’t going to go, but he didn’t push, knowing you were still having a hard time with all of this.

“Peter,” Pepper said before he could leave the night before. She gave him a small box.

Peter looked at it confused before opening it. It was a light blue tie.

“I had gotten it for Connor and he never wore it, would you wear it for your speech tomorrow?” She sounded so hopeful.

Peter was a little shocked at the gesture. “O-of course, Mrs. Stark, thank you.”

She hugged the young man before he parted.

He needed to get ready for tomorrow.

“So,” Connor asked, later that night. “Got everything ready?”

Peter nodded. “I think so, just nervous now…”

Connor put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re gonna do great.”

“I hope so,” Peter said, just as his phone went off. He looked at it and smiled.

“Good luck tomorrow Peter xo,” the message from you read.

Tags: Wanna be tagged? Just ask!

The rest of the day was pretty terrible for Peter. All he wanted to do was go home, lock himself in his room, and stay there the rest of the year.

Well, his day got a little better when he found out that you had the same lunch as him. Even better you decided to sit with him.

“H-hey Y/N,” He stuttered out, the surprise on his face was evident.

You smiled kindly at him. “Hey, you don’t mind me sitting with you right? None of my friends have this lunch period, and I really don’t want to go sit with the fake cheerleaders.”

“Uh, y-yeah. I-I mean no, no I don’t mind at all.” He wanted to beat himself in the head for his awkwardness.

“Thank you.” You said, pulling your lunch from your bag. “So, how was your summer?”

Peter shrugged. “It was alright,” He lied. You didn’t need to know about how summer for him meant the torture of working part time jobs, nor about his anxiety and depression. Especially not about him trying to commit suicide. “What about you? Do anything exciting?”

You smiled, “It was nice, we went Amsterdam for a couple weeks, that was about it though. Just saw some sights and relaxed. But of course Connor had to ruin it like he does everything.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but Amsterdam sounds neat. I’ve never been out of the country,” in fact he was jealous, but he wasn’t going to say it like that. He would never have a life of luxury like that. Even if you didn’t like your brother.

“Oh, hey I’m sorry about Connor earlier this morning… He’s such an ass.”

Peter rubbed at the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged red. “Oh, d-don’t be sorry… That was my fault.”

“You’re too kind, Peter,” You offered, reaching across the table and placing a hand on his arm. “But really, I am sorry.”

Even his ears turned red as you touched him. “Th-th-thank you.”

You smiled and went to eating your lunch.

Peter started to read way too much into that small gesture. He already had a crush on you, but just the thought of you possibly liking him back was invading his mind now. And suddenly, he found a small light in his darkness. He found himself a reason to want to keep going.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The rest of his day was not good at all compared to his lunch.

Of course his favorite bully Flash found him. That ended in him getting beat up, a bloody nose, making him late to class and ending himself in detention.

But, at least he was allowed to use the computer during detention.

Dear Peter Parker,

This year’s going to be a great year and here’s why… what a joke. This year is the last thing I want to get through. Between the work that I know will be coming. Having to help Aunt May with bills still, which means another part time job. Trying to not piss off both Flash Thompson and Connor Stark, yeah like I’ll manage that. Here’s to another great year of getting the shit kicked out of me for no other reason than that I’m a freak.

I would love to know if anyone would even notice if I wasn’t here. Would anyone care? I’d lighten Aunt May’s struggles of having to be a single parent to a kid that was dumped on her doorstep. I wouldn’t be the school’s freak so they wouldn’t have to waste their time making fun of me. Flash would probably notice just because he wouldn’t have anyone to beat up but it’s not like he’d really care. MJ definitely wouldn’t. Ned maybe.

But, at least there’s Y/N. Maybe she would notice.

God, I know it’s stupid to even think I could have a chance with her… but… I want one. She’s the only thing in my awful life that isn’t terrible. She’s beautiful and kind. I couldn’t believe when she sat with me at lunch today. Granted, I really think it was so she could apologize for her brother. He’s such an asshole. He has the world handed to him having the city’s richest parents. He’s terrible to his sister. I just can’t imagine being like that when you literally don’t have any problems.

If I ever get the chance to be with Y/N, I really don’t know if my anxiety would be enough to stop me from saying something to him. But until then, if it were to even happen probably not, I’ll avoid him as best I can and try to act more normal around Y/N so that maybe she’ll like me too. She’s the only person that remotely makes me feel something other than this terrible pain in my chest.

He hit print and got up to go get the paper. As he made it to the printer he noticed Connor sitting at the table right beside it.

With his hand holding his head up he eyed Peter sideways. “What happened to your arm?” He asked, eyebrow raising.

Shock was all Peter could feel now. He was trying to avoid being noticed by the older boy, but luck was never on his side.

Connor dropped his hand and looked at Peter expectantly. “Well?”

“Oh, uh, I uh I fell… out of a tree,” he lied, sending a glance to the printer which had finished. If he grabbed the paper now Connor might ask about it.

“That sucks,” he commented. “Sit down, Parker.”

Peter visibly gulped but he obeyed. He shot a glance at the printer hoping no one would take it. He sat across from Connor, hoping this wasn’t going to end badly, but it was him so it probably would.

Connor dug through his bag and pulled out a black marker. He reached for Peter’s cast.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked, pulling his arm back.

Connor rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna sign it. Obviously no one else wants to.”

Peter looked at him skeptically before extending his arm.

In big black letters Connor wrote his name before recapping the marker.

“Uh, thanks,” Peter said, looking at it.

Connor nodded. “So, you like my sister, don’t you?”

A blush shot across Peter’s cheeks, neck and ears. “W-W-”

Connor smiled a tight lipped smile at him and shook his head. “Course you do, who doesn’t? Even us miserable people have to have something, right?”

The bell rang, signaling that they could finally leave.

The two stood, Peter quick and Connor slowly.

“You know,” Connor started, making Peter pause in his escape. “Life sucks, but you could make it suck less if you tried harder.”

Peter wanted to comment about how Connor had a great life that he purposely ruined everyday by acting the way he does, but he didn’t.

“Falling out of a tree? You got a lot going for you and you don’t even see it.”

Peter knew then that Connor knew he’d lied. He turned back around and continued out of the room.

Connor gathered his things. He glanced at the printer, Peter’s reason for coming over in the first place. The paper was still there so he grabbed it. He hated himself more as he read over Peter’s letter to himself. Of course, he didn’t blame Peter for accusing him of having no problems. Not even his fucking parents wanted to notice. They just wanted be believe he liked to act out. He may have had the chance for the world to be handed to him, but he wasn’t perfect. It hurt, he hated being this way. He didn’t want to be the family disappointment. He didn’t want to be cursed with the broken light inside him. His real problem was he hated himself for not being able to do anything about it.

He couldn’t even be honest and just tell his family he loved them, that he would kill for them, die for them if it meant they’d be happy. He couldn’t even look Peter in the eyes and tell him he thought he was perfect. That he was jealous that of course he had eyes on his sister. He crumpled the paper up and threw it in the trash. The words burned into his mind as he made his way home. He always contemplated it, and maybe Peter had the right idea, he still wasn’t sure.

Peter on the other hand made it two blocks away from school before he realized he forgot his letter. He ran back, and discovered it gone. He knew it had to be Connor’s doing. When he made it home he prayed that the next morning wouldn’t start with a beating from him for the horrible things he’d said. He hoped Connor wouldn’t show you and ruin any chance he could even dream of.

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