#reader x wolf

"Hey!"

"Yo." You greeted Embry with a soft smile as the both of you walked up to each other. You raised your truck keys and jingled them in front of you. "Ready?" You grinned while he replied with a smile and nod.

It had been about an hour since Jacob left out, an hour with your thoughts, homework, and the low voices of the box TV in the background saving you from going insane.

When you got the text that Embry was on his way from work you were quick to stand up and rush into your room to get ready. You settled on black tights and a white crop top. Something flexible, just in case.

You even brushed your teeth again while spraying some leave-in conditioner on your hair. This was you attempting to make yourself look... presentable? It's been so long since you had to do so.

The last time you did so was graduation and the first week of college.

Suddenly your phone rang, forcing you to pull your eyes away from the dark circles underneath them, to the flip phone on the countertop.

With a nervous breath, you picked it up without looking at the caller I'd, thinking it was Embry calling to say he was outside.

"Hey. You here?"

"Yeah... I am."

Your breath hitched, feeling like you just got the wind knocked from you. You hesitated to say anything, pulling your phone away from your ear to look down at the small text on top of the screen. You had to confirm.

Susan.

"I'm sorry-were you expecting someone else?..." you hear the timid voice through the phone.

What.

Gulping, you cleared your throat before putting your phone back to your ear. "Sus-Mom... you're... you're back in town?" You ignored the question completely as you stepped back, leaning onto the bathroom wall for some type of support. You didn't need this, you really didn't need this, not now. Maybe in another 3 years but not now.

The woman on the other line heard the slip-up, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't hurt her, how she'd been demoted to just Susan in your head. She hadn't been much of a mother to you, she can understand that.

"Awe baby... you sound so grown up." She also avoided the question. You couldn't do this. Pulling the phone from your face you placed your hand over your mouth, shock still running through your veins, you didn't need this.

You weren't gonna cry. No fuck that you couldn't cry for her. Don't waste a tear on her. Don't do it.

Clenching your jaw you took in a deep breath. "Yeah um... some shit happened." Like puberty... three times over.

You could hear paper shifting as she struggled to continue the conversation. This would always happen.

Susan is a..." recovering" alcoholic. She would come... then she would go as soon as we thought she was well. Three years had been her longest. Before that was a year when she went to rehab... this time she just...vanished.

"Your father wrote me. Um- I'm sorry I wasn't there when... you know." You physically pulled the phone away from your ear while mouthing a loud( although quiet) fuck! And looked at yourself in the mirror with a look of disbelief. What the fuck! You mouthed to yourself again.

You had nothing but pure trauma and anger for this lady. All your life she was in and out of it, barging in on the little red house to bother Sarah and your siblings to ask for money, not sparing you a glance unless she needed you for a sob story on the streets of Forks. The bad memories outweighed the good by a long shot.

So why the fuck is your father continuing to keep in touch with her? And how long?

"Of course, you would know about that... everyone seems to know everything except for me. Heh." You didn't bother looking at yourself in the mirror again. That reflection of your mother staring back at you is something you didn't need at that moment.

"Baby, I'm sorry."

"Don't call me that. Seriously." You replied drily.

"...I'm sorry..." chewing the inside of your cheek, you closed your eyes so tight you could see another color. Don't cry. Don't fucking cry. Bitch if you cry I'll jump off the cliff with cinderblocks on my ankles.

Don't accept her apology.

"Why are you calling me." It wasn't a question she had a choice to answer. She needed to answer.

"I'm at a motel just outside of Forks... the one that your dad used to drop you off at to visit me." Those were the rare good memories.

Looking down at your sneakers you pushed down on the old wooden tile that needed to be nailed down. "The one with the pool?..." "heh-um yeah. Well- it's a parking lot now... they seemed to upgrade a bit... they made the place bigger." She was happy you remembered those visits. But that also meant you remembered what usually happened at the end of them. When your dad and her would argue about custody and money.

"I'm going to be here for a while... I'm job searching you know? Trying to build my life again after getting fired from the hospital..."

You had almost forgotten she was a doctor. 10 years of hard studying to waste the license on cheap vodka.

Please don't tell me you want me to visit.

"You don't owe me anything __, but, I'd like to see you, to apologize face to face. Just don't give up on me okay?"

"Yeah, sure.."

"I love you... okay? Bye-bye."

I love you too.

"Bye."

You hung up.

It felt weird looking in the mirror just now. You hated you looked like her. I need to get it together, you sighed, rubbing your eyes to get the tiredness away. By no means were you...better. You still had dark circles from the late-night cries, and you swore you could see a forehead crease from the number of times you had pushed your brows together in frustration.

You were only 19. Why'd you feel 35 with two oopsie babies? Gently slapping your face, trying to hype yourself to have a good time. You slipped your flip phone into your jacket pocket just in time for a knock on the door.

"It's crazy how much you've grown in just a year... you're kinda funny." You said sarcastically, tanned hands running through the rocky sand, both you and Embry sitting crisscrossed on worn towels. The two of you have been there for barely 20 minutes, making small talk and learning about his job at the local grocery store.

"Kinda??" He scrunches his brows together with a stupid grin that you copied. "And... I can say the same about you. About you changing a lot, you're not funny at all." "Ha!"You laughed? And not a fake one, a genuine one

You knew you should've fought it, the need to get closer to him in a way that's not fully human. But you couldn't help but think this was a good thing, to... free yourself from Edward's shackles. To enjoy your last year as a teen. But in a way, you felt like you were using him.

"How are you uh- how are you doing?" Whew. That question damn near knocked the wind out of you. Should you be honest, lie, half n half? As you stared at the soft waves Embry stared at the side of your face with narrowed brows. This new bond was strange between the both of you.

He could... almost feel everything you felt. It was like when the boys shifted, everyone could feel their emotions, hear what each other was saying- see it also.

Except he couldn't hear or see what you were thinking, not now at least. But he sure as hell could feel it, it was faint, but it was there. Grief, you were mourning your relationship so that you could move on.

"Um- you don't have to answer that if you-"

"I'm... healing. As much as I can. As much as Ephraim Black will allow me to." You didn't mention your mother calling, or Jacob sneaking off, you just wanted peace, you wanted happiness for yourself. In a way, Embry felt sad that you thought this was a curse cast upon you from your ancestors. Like the universe picked you specifically to fuck with.

But he also felt guilty. Guilty that he took his chance to finally get to know you. The you that wasn't always around Edward, the you that wasn't always in your room locked away with headphones in. He missed his friend. He felt guilty because while you suffered, he found himself grateful for this opportunity to even be near you.

Ears peaking up you could hear the faint sound of a wolf howling, the hairs on your neck standing, and goosebumps traveling up your arms. Both you and Embry's heads snap over to the peaking mountains of forks. "Jacob?..."

—

It had been a day now. A day since you, your brother, Seth, and shockingly Leah left Sam's pack to protect a sick and very pregnant Bella swan. A day since you've been an alpha to your small pack.

You still haven't talked to the Cullens yet.

You were debating if you needed to, Jacob did most of the talking anyway when he had his relapses. Well, that was until Esme came out, offering towels, rags, and wrapped-up bologna sandwiches. Seth wasn't shy about offering the vampire a hug, taking his stuff, and jogging inside the plantation house. Jacob took his and Leah's stuff as he knew the wolf girl wouldn't bother with her.

You and Leah watched Seth go into the large dark oak doors, your heart sinking deeper as the heavy doors closed. "Y/n..." Esme's voice was soft, hesitant as she said your name. You didn't have anything to say to her, other than " thanks..." Before you could grab your belongings from her she gently wraps an arm around your shoulder- and pulls you against her chest.

Even now you couldn't hate Esme, as she held you in a cold, hard- yet gentle embrace, as she placed her head on your chest to listen to your stuttering heartbeat. You couldn't help but hold her back, you needed this. You needed her motherly love more than anything, and you hated to admit that.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered against your chest, her voice soft, filled with emotion she couldn't release through tears. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't her fault that her son was a prick. "Don't apologize..." your voice was hard, but underneath it was a crack as your arms tightened around her, inhaling the sickening sweet scent that made you a little nauseous but you couldn't help but find a little comfort in it. Your body was fighting itself, you wanted to pull away, to step several feet away... but this was Esme.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity even though it was only two minutes, she pulled away have gave you the kindest smile before handing you your stuff. "You can use Carlisle and Is bathroom."

You've never actually been inside the Cullens home. You didn't understand the underlying hatred your dad had towards the Cullens, always assuming it was because his youngest daughter was starting to date. That was until you asked him about it and he chalked it up to "family history."  You just said that that was stupid and the past was in the past. Yet you were still respectful and followed his wishes not to be in the Cullen's personal space... yet that didn't stop you from hanging out with them elsewhere.

So when you stood at the doorway of their home, dark eyes widened and mouth slightly parted in awe, you didn't expect their house to feel like a... home. It was so bright, and warm. Thankfully the rest of the Cullens family were probably upstairs, with Bella or out.

You took your time to look at the living room, ivory, dark wood, and whites decorating the home, it looked like it was barely used. It was almost freakishly clean. You could feel Esme's gaze on you as you peered over to the large window on the back wall, the glass reaching from corner to corner, exposing the lush greenery behind their home.

You hated to be a dick rider, but...This was kinda insane. You wouldn't know what to do with this kinda money. You didn't want to give them too much credit though, still hurt and feeling petty, you looked away from the view in the living room and turned your gaze over to the stairs. "I'll show you up to our room," Esme finally spoke up, even though she was physically young, her tone was so motherly and kind. While she led you up to the stairs, that's when your body started to naturally hesitate, as if your instincts were almost screaming at you to turn around, that this was danger.

Before you were even halfway up the stairs, you began hearing them, their voices almost in a hushed whisper, yet some spoke normally. Your senses were already on ten, the suffocating smell of vampires attacking your nose. And by the time you landed on the floor to the second floor, you didn't dare to look at them, yet you could feel them looking at you. Their stares were heavy, yet you kept your eyes on Esme's head as she led you down the hallway and towards a door. "The door near the window, sweetheart." She instructed as you twisted the knob and walked in.

You gave her a small thank you(even though you were uncomfortable, you still had manners), before shutting the door.

Their room was unnaturally clean as you gave it a quick scan. You didn't want to linger, you didn't want to get comfortable in these people's houses like you all were buddies. Quick shower, 10 minutes in and out... okay maybe 20 because their lotion was expensive and you had to try it.

You kicked off your sneakers fairly quickly, leaving them beside their bedroom door, and went across their room to the bathroom.

"You think she hates us?" Emmett spoke up in the quiet room, his hands planted on his wife's waist, comforting her as she looked at the room where you disappeared.

No one spoke up, the siblings equally used that silence for the answer. Alice felt anxious, her eyes flickering up to her mate who tightly held her hand. Of course, Jasper knew the answer to all their questions, your emotions roaring with anger, disappointment, and disgust. But your sadness was what caught his attention, so much sadness covered with the thin blanket of anger.

Jasper was a private person, not exactly keen on sharing your private feelings with his nosy family. He had respect for you even though the two of you shared few words, and so he just settled on giving his wife a small smile, not a direct answer.

"It broke another rib." The almost quiet voice of Carlisle spoke through the den, Bella who was being held up by Edward, and the doctor gently moving from his office turned surgeon's office.

"Oh, Bella..." Esme whispered.

Edward's face twisted as though the words physically wounded him. His jaw clenched hard, marble-like, as he adjusted Bella in his arms, holding her like she might shatter into dust at any moment. Yet Bella still had a smile on her face, like she was trying to comfort them, her family.

Jasper shifted beside Alice, rubbing slow circles against her back as her eyes stayed fixed on Bella — or maybe past her, at the future she couldn't stop. No one could.

You were still in the bathroom, hands rubbing the dried sweat from your skin with some expensive shower gel. The water was hot, steam flowing from your skin.

You could hear everything through the thin walls — every breath, every choked-back word. You hated how sensitive your hearing had become, like a curse wrapped in instinct.

And you hated more how your heart panged for Bella, even after everything.

Even after the betrayal. The lies. The wedding. The child growing inside her that was killing her.

You hated her, and you didn't.

Your throat burned as you swallowed down the mess of emotions swirling in your chest.

You didn't have time for this. You had to stay strong.

You forced yourself upright and dragged your fingers through your short curls, catching on a snarl and yanking it loose with a wince. Get it together. You were still their alpha. You were still you.

A soft knock came at the door.

"Y/n? Sweetheart?" Esme's voice floated through, hesitant but kind. "If you need more time, it's okay."

You sucked in a shaky breath and shut off the water.

Esme stood there, hands folded gently in front of her. Her golden eyes — unnervingly soft — flicked over you, searching for signs of your storm. You avoided her gaze, brushing past her with your shoulders squared. You slid on your sneakers by their door and headed back toward the living room like you hadn't just been falling apart behind closed doors.

The moment you stepped into the space, all eyes cut to you.

Jacob, leaning against the far wall, tense and rigid like he wanted to explode.

Edward, seated near the fire, his gaze locking onto yours like you were the sun itself. He hadn't seen you since the wedding, and you were hoping for longer. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but no words came. You looked different. A strange difference and he could barely recognize you.

You ignored them both.

Your eyes landed on Bella. His wife, your old friend, seated next to him, heavy blankets around the frail body you had yet seen.

She looked back at you with a weak, fleeting smile — full of hope and naivety, as if that small expression could bridge the cavern between you. As if a smile could fix a heart broken beyond recognition.

It couldn't.

Your face remained hard, unreadable. You wouldn't give her that comfort. You refused to. Deep down you thrived on making them just as uncomfortable as you felt.

Carlisle cleared his throat, his expression grim. "We're losing time."

The words felt like a gunshot in the quiet room.

Jacob flinched. Seth, standing at his side, let out a small, broken sound in the back of his throat.

Your jaw tightened as you crossed your arms over your chest, muscles tense.

"What's the plan?" you asked, your voice even, though inside you were barely keeping steady.

Carlisle hesitated. Then, with an almost imperceptible shake of his head, he admitted the truth none of them wanted to face. "I don't know."

He didn't know.

Words you didn't want to hear from a 300-odd-year-old vampire.

Fuck.

A thick silence followed.

You could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on you as if they were waiting for you to declare what came next. You weren't a Cullen, you weren't Bella's friend anymore — hell, you weren't even supposed to be here- nor did you want to be here! But somehow, you were the only one still standing tall.

Jacob's voice broke the quiet, hoarse, and raw. "Then we figure it out," he said. His eyes met yours, pleading. "We fight for her."

You didn't answer right away.

Because the truth was, you didn't know who you were fighting for anymore.

Bella?

Yourself?

The future?

You swallowed the lump in your throat and finally, finally, nodded.

"They'll be coming for us... Sam and the pack..." you said, your eyes glossing over each golden iris that looked at you.

"We're going to need a plan."

_______

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