#reader x renjun

Renjun had known you since you were ten. You had been fighting off a stray dog when he first saw you. It looked rabid and when fourteen year old Renjun decided to jump in to save you, he saw you striking the dog with a powerful force of wind that made it fly to the other side of the alleyway. Renjun knew what a demigod was but he had never met one that could manipulate the wind. That’s when he realized that you just had to be a child of Zeus.

He remembered how you turned to look at him. He knew he saw fear in your eyes but when you looked at him, your gaze became serious. Renjun had to lift his hands up in the air and try to convince you that he wasn’t a threat. You didn’t want to believe him but he told you that he was the son of Athena. He was a demigod like you. Ten year old you was skeptical but relieved that you had found someone just like you.

Renjun took you to his apartment where he lived with his father. He explained the situation to his dad and how he had found you. His dad was always grateful for Athena’s power that flowed through his blood and the kind heart that Renjun had. Even though that came from him and not Athena. The two of them helped you clean up, fed you, and kept you company. However, you soon realized that it was getting dark. You had nowhere to go but you didn’t want to tell them that. So you came up with a lie about having to get back to your mother’s house and left as fast as you came.

Fourteen year old Renjun was a prodigy. He knew many things. It didn’t even take two days for him to realize that you had no home. But of course he was smart and knew exactly how to rope his dad into taking you in. Renjun didn’t want you in a foster home so he pleaded and spoke quite seriously for a fourteen year old, to let you stay. His father had finally agreed and when Renjun found you in that same alleyway he told you all about living with him and his dad. You were grateful for being offered a home but you kept your doubts. They weren’t the first to show you kindness but you weren’t sure if it was genuine. Nonetheless you accepted it because it was better than living on the streets. 

You weren’t given much love or kindness from your mother. She preferred to show you off as if you were an expensive gift. She told people of how she was able to attain the love of Zeus, king of the gods and that she’d given birth to a wonderful baby whose power exceeded other demigods. She was nice outside but cruel at home. She’d blame you for Zeus leaving even though it wasn’t your fault. You clearly knew this when Zeus came to you in a dream at five years old. He knew that you were young but you unfortunately had to grow up quick. Your mother was not going to give you the home you needed and even though Zeus didn’t say that, you were able to understand. It wasn’t your best decision but you preferred living in that dark and cold alleyway then with your unloving mother.

As you got to know Renjun you found out that, albeit being a child, he was both amazingly and terrifyingly smart. Renjun was witty, sarcastic, and brutally honest. But even under all of that, he had a gentle heart. He was a sentimentalist and a hopeless romantic. Renjun had a good grasp on romance at sixteen. He always thought about how great it would be to have a partner who knew what they wanted, could at least kind of keep up an educated conversation, and be strong. So, it was only natural for him to develop feelings for you years after. Your eyes had always entranced him. He always thought them to look like the icy bluish eyes of a husky. At first he thought that it was a peculiar eye color but when you got older he fell in love with them. He thought it was a very attractive trait unique to only you. You always had a stern facial expression but it didn’t scare Renjun away, he wasn’t one to shy away from people. If they could keep up with him then that was all there was to it. If not, they were left behind. 

You weren’t as smart as him but you were curious. He taught you anything from academics all the way to how sports were played. All from a book of course. Only after you read the books did he let you put to practice what you learned. You were able to keep up with Renjun because you listened to him. You listened and only gave opinions or ideas when you thought it was appropriate. Renjun loved that about you. You never got annoyed with him and his educational rambling. Not even when he liked to flaunt how smart he was and how dumb all the kids at his school where. Instead you’d smile and tell him that he wasn’t wrong because the kids at his school were humans. Mostly. But even then there weren’t any other children of Athena. Renjun would have figured that out pretty quick.

Renjun liked to think that he was strong but he had his weakness. You had made it quite obvious that you weren’t interested in dating. At least from what he could tell. Renjun was a child of Athena not Eros. Romance worked a bit differently. It was all on a basis of emotions not science or formulas. Renjun knew he was in love with you when it was his senior year in high school. Renjun was eighteen and you were fourteen. He knew he was a little too old for you but once you’d get out of high school it would have been different. Not that he cared because he didn’t mind waiting for you. You were too mature for your age which was one of the many reasons why Renjun couldn’t stop his feelings from blossoming into something more.

He hadn’t been looking for a fight. The guy at his school, however, loathed Renjun to a point where if Renjun hadn’t been a demigod he would’ve suffered worse. Demigods healed faster than normal people. The guy who picked on Renjun was known for being the king of all bullies. He made fun of everyone and most of all Renjun. Renjun told himself it was because the guy envied him. Renjun had everything. He was extremely smart, handsome, strong, and talented. But he hated fighting and found it to be useless unless he was in serious danger. That being monsters attacking not ill mannered humans with inflated egos and the desire of being on top of the school chain. On a random day that Renjun had been walking to the lunch table where you were sitting at the school bully decided to get in his way. Renjun smiled at cute freshmen you when the school’s bully decided to purposely stick his foot out, causing Renjun’s lunch to go flying all over the floor. Renjun just looked at his school lunch, frustrated that the guy never seemed to stop.

You were about an inch shorter than the school’s bully. So really, swinging at him wasn’t hard. You didn’t know it at the time but you had gone absolutely livid, seeing Renjun on the ground with his glasses threatening to fall off his face. All of that sparked a rage about you that when you had come to your senses all you felt was Renjun pulling you back and hugging you against his chest whispering the words, “Stop it,” over and over. When you looked over his shoulder the bully's nose had been bleeding heavily, his hand was covering his right eye and you noticed a cut on his cheek. You didn’t know what you had done.

You weren’t popular per say but many people knew who you were. Renjun’s only friend that could keep up with that big brain of his. You were very serious and mature for a freshman. Much more than Renjun. Many had tried to approach you but they barely got a few words out when you’d reject them. Soon, people decided to ignore you because you were rude or so they thought. You had enough of people having taken advantage of you when you were a child. Especially from your mother. You weren’t going to let anyone else do the same.

You got in trouble for beating up the guy that tripped Renjun. Renjun’s father didn’t want to punish you but he deemed that it was the only thing he could do. To his surprise, you didn’t fight back with him. Instead you took your punishment properly, apologized and stayed in the confinements of your bedroom. You didn’t apologize to the bully. He got what he deserved. However, you were suspended for a few days but Renjun kept you updated. Renjun told you that you looked really cool, how strongly you fought against a jerk like him. The guy was really angry about the whole situation but he decided against fighting back. His parents would cut his allowance if he got into another fight and money mattered more to him than you. Although Renjun had told you looked cool he didn’t want to see you like that again. It hurt him seeing you full of rage like that. 

At twenty years old, Renjun “fell in love” with another demigod. A child of Ares. It came as a shock to you. You wouldn’t have thought him to be compatible with children of Ares. And you were right to think so. Renjun’s relationship lasted a month before deciding to break up with his partner. He had been one of the kinder children of Ares but nonetheless, he was still violent. You didn’t understand why Renjun had fallen in love with the Ares boy. But then again, Renjun was a complicated puzzle. He’d give you a look that you couldn’t decipher. His gaze would rest upon your eyes for a few seconds longer than normal. What was going through his brain you couldn’t find out. 

Renjun kept trying to date a few times with other demigods. But the heartbreaks kept coming by for a few years. The thing was, it wasn’t because of the break ups. It was because he was in love with you and all he wanted was you as his lover. But he didn’t act upon those feelings.

Renjun couldn’t see that you were in love with him too. But you thought that you didn’t deserve anyone’s kindness. You were too quiet for him. You would get violent with people who harmed Renjun. When you were feeling extremely down you’d push him away. You wouldn’t tell him anything and that only angered him. Couldn’t you see that he wanted to be there for you? That he wanted to support you? But alas you were so invested in your own faults and mistakes to see the helping hand that Renjun had offered you. You didn’t realize that one day that hand would retract, leaving you alone in your misery. 

~

It was on a really sunny day that Renjun broke. He shattered into a bunch of uneven pieces and you were at the root of it all. It had been just like all your previous arguments but this one had a twisted ending. You felt depressed and sad but you didn’t want to talk about it. Renjun had been going through this cycle with you for a whole week but you didn’t open up to him at all. Then you started saying something about no one loving you and Renjun was so close to just screaming.

“You don’t understand Renjun. You couldn’t. Your father loves you and is there for you. You're handsome and smart. It’s only natural for people to want to be with you. I’m nothing but Zeus’s failure.”

“You’re not a failure. Y/N, you’re a wonderful person. You're smart and strong.” You scoffed.

“Renjun, that’s not true. You’re just trying to be nice. I’m weak. You don’t see it.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth Renjun. Tell me the truth. Why are you even friends with me? I’m terrible and violent. I can’t control my powers. I can’t even look in the mirror because I just see broken pieces. I see nothing special. Why Renjun, have you still stood beside me?” In a flash of fury and despair Renjun let himself go.

“I’m in love with you and you can’t see it because you're so busy torturing yourself and being all depressed! I’ve loved you for so long. I fell in love with the person who felt like the weight of the world rested on their shoulders. I fell in love with the person who would do anything to stay safe and protect those they loved. When I see you I think about how it would be like to be next to you and telling you that you are loved and you’d believe it because I mean it with all of my heart. I want to support you in whatever you are doing because that’s what you do when you’re in love. You're there for the person you love through the good and the bad. I’ve dreamt of the day where I could kiss you and be able to tell you that I love you with the entirety of my heart and you’d know it’s the truth. But you’re so lost in your head about no one respecting  or loving you that you take me for granted.” His voice broke. In all your years of knowing Renjun you had never seen him lose his composure. He always seemed to be well collected. 

But here he was, anger and sadness mixing together in his eyes. Renjun had bottled up all of his emotions and let them run their course. He couldn’t keep living like this no matter how much your shattered expression hurt him. With a lot of strength Renjun said the words you weren’t expecting.

     “I can’t do this anymore.” You looked startled but he didn’t meet your eyes.

“W-what? What do you mean?” Renjun started backing away as the skies started to turn grey. Rain started to fall down slowly at first but then harder as he kept getting farther away from you. He knew that it was your doing but he couldn’t be there for you anymore. He was done destroying himself just to make you smile. Water dripped down from his eyelashes, his tears being easily masked as he looked at you.

"I can’t be your friend anymore. You’re too much for me.” Renjun ignored your pleas of his name. He ignored your helpless state as you let your knees slam onto the pavement and your heart cry out in sorrow.

~

The rain had not stopped for three consecutive days. Your emotions had been so turbulent to the point where the weather had gone mad. There was heavy rain that made driving in it extremely dangerous and almost impossible. The loud thunder had not stopped and there were frequent lightning strikes all across the country. People started fearing that something even more terrible was yet to come. Massive flooding destroyed homes and the lives of many.

During this time you stayed in the mountains. If Renjun had seen you he would have thought you to be an empty corpse. Your hair was a disheveled mess. Your eyes had looked almost grayish and sunken into your face. Your eye bags were almost close to looking greenish and your lips were dry and purple. Ultimately, your complexion looked terribly ill and you had lost too much weight to be deemed healthy. You stared down below, lifelessly, as the rain and strong currents played around with your soaked white t-shirt. Renjun was the last person you had in your life and he had decided to leave. He no longer wanted to be your friend and it was all because of you.

You couldn’t keep your friends.

You couldn’t keep your family.

They hated you.

Detested you.

You should just end it all.

Those voices didn’t leave your head. You were coming dangerously close to listening to them but before you could take action, you fainted. Your body lay there as it was impaled with harsh rain drops for a few seconds and then suddenly, the rain ceased. You completely blacked out.

~

You woke up to the sounds of water running. You felt weak but you noticed how bright it was in the room. The storm had stopped, you guessed. Your collapse had everything to do with the storm stopping though. Your power always ceased to influence the weather the moment you blacked. 

You found an air nymph beside you looking at you curiously.

“You have awoken. You should eat and drink to regain strength.”

“Where am I? What is this place?” You hadn’t noticed before but now you did. You found yourself in a sky blue room that seemed to reach to the heavens. It was rather empty with only the soft bed you laid upon, a mirror and a few pedestals that served as designs. You sat up with much struggle, feeling the soft winds in the room. The room didn’t smell sweet but it had a scent that you couldn’t put your finger on. It seemed to cause a nostalgic feeling in your chest but it relaxed you. 

You were brought to a dining room. There on the table had been plenty of food to feed a small village. It ranged from soft foods to heavier ones. There was an assortment of desserts on one side that made your mouth water. The aurae urged you to sit.

When you did the aurae sat right next to you which you found strange. You were still confused.

“You’re really pretty. What’s your name?” you looked at her.

“Y/N. Who are you?”

“I’m the aurae who lives here.”

“Where is here exactly?” you asked.

“In the clouds. My sister and I found you passed out on the mountain while we played. You looked sickly. And your powers were creating such a fuss with the sky. So we took care of you. We do not know what you would like to eat so we found plenty of food for you to eat from.” You wanted to cry after the confusion wore off.

“Why do you look sad? Did I upset you?”

“No! It’s just your very kind to me. I don’t know why.”

“You're a child of the sky. We like to care for them very much. They are the only demigods we can get along with very fine around here. We love our family but we like new friends.”

“I’m only going to cause trouble. I wouldn’t make a good friend.”

“Let us see about that. I will go see my sister now. We will get a bath running for you and then we can talk lots.” The aurae smiled gently towards you.

In all your time of living you never had someone care for you the way they did. You had Renjun but that wasn’t the only type of care you craved. You craved the hand of a loving mother. In no way was the aurae your mother but she provided care and love for you. She was gentle. 

~

If Renjun had any other power that wasn’t his brain he would have most likely thrown the world into destruction and despair. If he had powers like Zeus or Poseidon and most definitely like Hades, he would have used it for worse. Sadly for him, the best he could do was become an arsonist. He wasn’t sure at the moment what type of single person was able to bring mass destruction with only man made weapons. He would have done this in a fit of rage like Zeus darkens the skies and brings on an onslaught of heavy rain whenever he’s feeling moody. Renjun just wanted to curse and scream and tell the world that life was unfair. It was quite strange how the roles reversed with you but it wasn’t unexpected. Renjun had cared for you like a friend and then loved you like a lover. It tore him apart piece by piece as the days went by without you at his side. He knew he shouldn’t have complained but he had tried to turn his life for the better. You had shared your darkness with Renjun and he wasn’t able to carry any of it on his shoulders. But Renjun was now inhibiting destructive behaviors just as you had. He’d get into fights he’d usually lose. He got sick frequently because he didn’t pay attention to his health as he should have. Like you should have as well. While you were so busy opening up to the aurae who enjoyed your company and made you see things differently, Renjun lived on while hating himself for breathing without you at his side.

He let his thoughts go astray, images of you dying or in pain flooding his nightmares. Maybe you finally went through with it and now he would have to find your body lying somewhere. He hated it all. It had been five months since he last saw you and he wasn’t getting any better. It was almost half a year without you. How did he survive? He didn’t know. Did you survive? He wished you did.

It was terrible of him to leave you in such a reckless and dangerous state. Your heart had been dying slowly and the pain had almost started to become numb. But he should have been there for you. He should have told you that although he loved you, you were worth it. You mattered in this world and he should’ve shown you even harder.

But he left you instead. The storm had stopped days after three days and Renjun almost had a mental breakdown. Were you hurt? Captured? Tired? Numb? Dead? He couldn’t bring himself to really believe that you were dead. It just couldn’t be. Although you were weak, there was something that had to keep you going. If you really wanted to end it you would’ve done so already. Right? At least that’s what Renjun liked to believe. Renjun concluded that he hated everything. Because everything reminded him of you and he didn’t know if he could bare seeing you or never seeing you again.

~

At first, you didn’t know how to tell time while you were with the aurae. You had been so lost in your head that time was just another insignificance in your life. The aurae were kind to you. They woke you up early in the morning. They had a bath ready for you and when you had changed into comfortable clothing you would head to the little dining room with breakfast ready for you. You didn’t understand why they were nice to you. What did they want in exchange for treating you with such great hospitality?

But after a few weeks you stopped looking for that. Or at least stopped thinking about it. They were so kind to you. They treated you like you were a part of the family. Something that you never came to know. You enjoyed the interactions of being surrounded by other females. When you had gotten more comfortable around them they invited you often to their little get together. They would play Flying Hopscotch, Hide Seek and Float, Air Boating, and many other games. In return, you taught them cool lightning tricks that you had learned over the years but never really used because you didn’t see any meaning to it. They would clap happily and praise you for being talented.

After two months, the aurae that had brought you to their home spoke to you alone. You sat on a fluffy cloud when she came up next to you.

“You seem to be a lot healthier than when I first found you.” 

“Thank you. If it weren’t for your help I most likely wouldn’t be alive.” The aurae glanced at you taking in your sharp features.

“We aurae, are very protective over our own kind. We believe that family is important and that we should stick together. When I first saw you, you were just a little child trying to make it in life. You were trying to find a family and friends. But they were all so cruel to you. We kept watch over you. Hoping that you would be able to find a good path. But we noticed that things had only gone worse for you. But one day, we saw the boy of Athena approach you. He was very gentle with you.” You could barely listen to everything the aurae was saying to you. What was all of this?

“We watched him for a long time trying to see if he would be the one to help you. We realized that his heart was true. He’d always go out of his way to do little things for you. He would try and get money to buy you things to keep you occupied with. He’d teach you how to read and do mathematics. He was kind and didn’t want anything in return. All he seemed to want is for you to be happy. The day that you had gotten worse and was left alone we decided to take you in. We try not to meddle with the life of demigods. It is preferable for them to find their way. But it hurt us to see how much you suffered. Heroes are sometimes not heroes at all even if people consider them to be for whatever so called noble thing they do. People called you a hero even though you probably didn’t feel heroic at all. People saw you to be strong even though you thought you were weak. Child of Zeus, we want to offer you not only our unconditional love and care, we want to offer our help so you could diminish those burdens you carry on your shoulders. We want you to feel free and as light as the winds so you can try and find your happiness.”

~

The things that the aurae had told you took a lot to process. You didn’t know whether to be angry because they didn’t help sooner or feel grateful that they did their best to watch over you. You kept to yourself for a few days as you tried to figure out where your feelings were in the equation. The aurae did everything just as before. They set up your bath and made you food. They invited you to play but you’d turn them down often. You just wanted to think. 

You thought about it day and night. When you bathed and when you ate. It plagued your mind but you finally decided on something. You missed Renjun. You wanted to be with him. You wanted to know how he was doing. But you didn’t want to go back to being the same person. You wanted to change for the better. You wanted to be a person that you would feel proud of when looking in the mirror. And you wanted to be the person that would make Renjun smile and not have to worry about the burdens you had once carried.

You spoke with the aurae the following morning when you made your decision. She smiled warmly and it almost seemed like she wanted to tear up. But she led you away with a few other aurae and spoke to you about the exercises and other events that you would partake in. It was like being part of a therapy group or session. But it felt more like home than a hospital. Day after day you realized new things, learned how to control your emotions better, and realized that looking into the mirror wasn’t too hard anymore. You were starting to like it and even smiled back at the child that was now reflecting back in the mirror you had once saw a broken soul in.

~

When you had decided that you felt more like yourself than you ever had you spoke with the aurae about going back home. Your previous home. She asked you many questions wondering if you truly felt like you could face your past. The smile that you had would be forever engraved in the aurae’s memory when thinking about you. The aurae gave you some essentials to take on your way back. 

“Take care of yourself demigod and do not forget that we consider you family. You can come back anytime. Maybe you could bring along the other demigod that you fancy.”

“I will make sure to do so,” you giggled. You became a bit more serious after the joke.

“Thank you. I really appreciate all that you have done for me and I will never stop repaying you for your kindness.” The aurae smiled warmly, like a mother does when looking at her child, and let you go along your way. You looked back one last time and let yourself fall, the wind whistling around you as you controlled the winds and made your way to the place you knew you would find Renjun.

~

Renjun was the first to take a good and proper look at you. You had already sensed his presence but made no move of acknowledgment. Before you landed near the cliff that you always found comfort in, you made the wind make your landing as soundless as you could. The mountain wasn’t too far above from the field of flowers. You were still able to see Renjun’s face clearly from where you stood. He looked disheveled and you wondered what exactly had happened to Renjun while you were gone. He had a look you knew all too well. It hurt you. You started walking towards the field, knowing that Renjun would see you.

Renjun was lost in his thoughts. He thought he was daydreaming or even hallucinating when he saw a figure that seemed to resemble yours. Could it be? Renjun stood up and watched as  you walked through the flowers. The wind started to pick up in a gentle but strong breeze and Renjun felt a wave of nostalgia hit him as hard as his tears. He remembered feeling the surprise of seeing you for the first time back then when you had been in a bad place. He remembered your stormy eyes clearly and the sickly pale hue that your skin had. Seeing you now, Renjun realized there was no trace of that. There was no reckless power surrounding you. No, your power felt mostly tranquil with a touch of lightning. You seemed to be a different person. One he didn’t know if he could recognize deep down.

You looked so beautiful, the way you made the breeze pass through the field of flowers. The blue sky, the different types of colorful flowers and the gentle breeze made you look alive. Your face no longer looked like that of a person who went through war and came back broken. You had come back and were pieced back together in all the right places. Your smile was the most genuine he had ever seen and he wanted to do nothing more than watch you all day as you looked carefree and happy for once.  

“Hey, DaVinci. How’s this for a painting?”

“Divine.” Renjun muttered. His head felt fuzzy. Or maybe that was his heart. Or was it both? Renjun felt so many feelings surging through his body. He felt light but at the same time there was a suffocating heaviness that clawed its way to his heart. He loved seeing you smile but at the same time it angered him. You set your gaze on him while he stood still on the edge of the small cliff. 

“Should the Prince come to his lover? Or should the lover go to their Prince?” Renjun turned the brightest red you had ever seen taint his cheeks. You thought you saw anger flash through his sorrow filled eyes. He wanted to snap back at you but how would he? You left him almost speechless. Almost.

“I hate you.” Your smile was still there but your eyes were sad. Renjun’s sad expression turned to a pained one. His fists were clenched tightly, his posture seemed tense but you could see how unstable he was really. He looked at you hard as the tears welled up in his eyes again.

“I hate you I hate you I hate you!” His voice echoed out into the sky. 

“Do you mean that?” He hated hearing your voice because he missed you so much. He had been close to the edge just like you but now you were here, pulling him back to safety. Renjun felt a soft wind brush against his cheek and another breeze that ran through his hair. Renjun was beautiful. He was heavenly. The most beautiful demigod you had ever seen. No one could compare to him in your eyes. But Renjun stood on the cliff almost sobbing. He tried to breathe, sniffing quite often, his eyes closing tightly to get rid of the tears, and his lips quivering. He liked to pretend that he was strong. That no demigod or monster, not even a god, could bring down Athena’s most gifted child. Huang Renjun liked to think that he could take on anything. But he was wrong because Huang Renjun could take anything in the world except his heart being broken by you. 

“No,” he whispered. Your eyes were very apologetic. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Then why’d you leave!? Why did you do that to me? I told you what I felt. I told you that I wouldn’t destroy myself over you. But I ended up destroying myself completely without you.”

“Renjun, I came back.” Renjun shook his head, almost in denial, as he let his hands come up and cover his ears. He couldn’t take hearing his name coming from your sultry lips.

“I thought you were dead. I thought you wouldn’t c-come back.” It broke you. Seeing how the mature and strong Renjun you once knew had crumbled into a sad and scared child at your disappearance. You really hadn’t seen to what extent Renjun cared for you. Renjun kept sniffling and rambling about how you left him and how he missed you so much even though he knew he was the one who walked away first. He went on about how scared he was that he would have had to come to the moment where he’d find your lifeless body somewhere.

And you couldn’t take it anymore. It was in an instant that you landed softly in front of Renjun who had already fallen to his knees. You pushed him into your hug and held him closely. He let himself be enveloped in your embrace. You let an arm wrap around his shoulder and let your other hand thread through his hair gently. Renjun’s cries turned into soft whimpers and hiccups after a while. Your eyes started stinging and you realized that your own set of tears were dripping onto Renjun’s hair. 

You looked down at him and noticed how his tears had made a dry outline around his eyelashes. His nose was red and in pain from crying. He stared at you with droopy eyes.

“I missed you.” You smiled softly.

“I’m sorry. It took too long for me to come back. But I’m here now. I’m here and I bring with me pure and brighter love just for you.” Renjun seemed to want to get closer to you as he held onto you tightly.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” It took a little while as you let the cold breeze brush against Renjun’s face in a relaxing manner. You always reminded Renjun of autumn. A bright reddish leaf flying blindly and carelessly in the wind. But now, as he let himself stare into your eyes full of life, he thought you to be like a colorful tree in autumn. Touched by the wind and rain but rooted in its place. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too my Prince.” Renjun thought you to be autumn and imagined an autumn sky and cool breeze when you kissed. When your lips parted from his he spoke up again, strength finding its way to his voice.

“Don’t you ever leave again. No matter what.” You laughed.

“Even if you tell me to go away?” He glared at you.

“I don’t care. If I ever say that then it’s bullshit.” You closed your eyes while a smile found its way to your lips.

“How’s the weather Prince Renjun?” He hummed softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Psst. Renjun!”

Your voice was quiet against the noise of the party, but just about audible enough for your best friend to hear as he wove his way through the drunken people scattered about the landing. “Renjun!” you said again. Stopping to look where the voice came from, Renjun turned towards the bathroom door, from which your head was currently peaking out, a surprised look on his face as you peered out at him. Before he had chance to respond, you grabbed his hand, yanking him into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

“Y/n- what are you doing?” Renjun asked, bewildered, as you hopped up to sit on the counter. “I’m hiding!” you whispered somewhat unnecessarily, now being sealed away in the bathroom. Renjun gave you a blank look. “Why?” he asked, as you looked down at him with big doey eyes, a little glassy from the 3 cups of punch you’d consumed earlier in the night. “Lucas and Hendery. They keep being really weird and flirty.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Renjun replied.

“I mean REALLY flirty, I didn’t know what to do!” Renjun chuckled at you and sighed.“Do they need a talking to?” he asked, moving from his position by the door to stand directly in front of you. You looked at him sympathetically. “No offence Renjun, but I don’t think you could take them on... They’re both older and bigger than you. But anyway, no they’re fine, just stay in here with me for a bit, maybe they’ll lose interest.” Renjun scoffed at your implication but let it slide since after all, it was true. He wasn’t exactly large, he was more the small but feisty type.

“I’m not sure they will,” he said teasingly, placing his hands gently on your knees. You deflated a little at his words pouting, and as if to respond Renjun began rubbing comforting little circles on your knees. As nice as it was to be getting attention, Lucas and Hendery’s flirtations were a little much for you, especially since you’d barely spoken to either of them before, and you didn’t really want to have to spend the entire rest of the night hiding out in the bathroom avoiding them. You let out a little groan of frustration. 

“Ughh, whyyy?” you whined. Renjun smiled, a glint in his eye. “Probably because you’re easily the prettiest girl here,” he said, making a hot pink flush creep up your cheeks. Renjun had told you you were pretty plenty of times before, as any best friend should, but in your current position his words felt a lot more intimate than they ought to. “I- I don’t think so,” you stuttered, looking down to where Renjun’s hands connected with your bare knees, your hair hanging down around your face hiding your pink cheeks. “Well I think so, and I imagine half the people at this party do too.” You looked up at Renjun’s admission, locking eyes with his as your heart hammered in your chest. Why was he making you feel like this? Surely his words were just those of a best friend psyching you up, but you couldn’t help the warmth now spreading through your body.

“Y-you do?” You murmured, as your thighs relaxed slightly, slipping open a little ushering Renjun to stand flush against the counter between them. “Mhh,” Renjun hummed in confirmation. As your thighs had parted, Renjun’s hands slipped a little higher onto your thighs gently curving across the top and sides, but applying just a bit of pressure to send a tingling up to your core. As silence took over you became all the more aware of where his hands touched you and your mind was taken back to the weekend two weeks prior and how Renjun had gripped your thighs as he roughly fucked into you. Your breathing became shaky as you felt yourself becoming more aroused, Renjun’s hands burning against your skin, his face now no more than 10 inches from your own.

For all you knew, you could’ve been the only one feeling the intense sexual tension in the room, but right now that was a risk you were willing to take. You didn’t know whether it was the alcohol flowing through your system or you were just going crazy, but the next thing you knew your hands had moved from the counter, and were looping around Renjun’s neck, pulling him down into a hungry kiss. Renjun kissed back almost immediately, his hands moving from your thighs to grip your waist, pulling your body forward to meet his, your arousal only intensifying as his pelvis pressed against your sweet spot. He dominated the kiss, taking every opportunity to nip and tug at your bottom lip, eliciting what he thought were the most delightful groans from you and you whined when he finally pulled away leaving your lips red and swollen.

As you both tried to catch your breath, Renjun’s hands massaged the flesh of your butt through your skirt, your core involuntarily clenching at the sensation. You both seemed a little stunned as you looked at each other but neither of you wanted to stop. In a flash, Renjun attached his lips to your neck, sucking little red marks all over your skin as his fingers dug into your ass. You let out soft breathy moans as his lips assaulted your collar over and over again, your neck being one of your most sensitive spots. Given the amount of attention he was paying to the particular area you wondered had he remembered from last time? Or perhaps he just had a thing about necks; either way it felt incredible.

When his face emerged from the crook of your neck you looked up at him, mouth agape and were met with his dark eyes staring down at you. These were not his usual soft kind eyes. These eyes were filled with lust. They were eyes that wanted to devour you.

“Renjun...” you breathed shakily.That seemed to flip a switch in him because suddenly he was tugging your hips forward and pushing your skirt up, exposing just enough of your panties for him to see how wet you were. A knowing smirk appeared on Renjun’s face. “You’re so wet y/n,” he teased, tracing a finger up the front of your panties, grazing over your sensitive bud. “Do I turn you on?” He leaned in to whisper in your ear, as his fingers pushed the damp material aside to feel just how much of an effect he’d had on you. You whimpered as his fingers teased you. All you could manage was a nod in response, too embarrassed by your obvious arousal over your best friend to say anything. Renjun rewarded you with a trail of kisses along your jaw as his fingers worked their way to your entrance, but just as he was about to enter you he stopped still. “This is okay right?” he asked, looking at you earnestly. The two of you might’ve been charged up on lust, alcohol and adrenaline, but Renjun wasn’t stupid enough not to ask for consent before you did anything you might regret. You paused for a second, the realisation hitting you that you were about to do the unspeakable with your best friend once again, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. You wanted him.

You nodded quickly, desperate for that bit of friction where you most needed it. Renjun smiled, placing a kiss on your nose, before reaching further under your skirt to pull your panties down. You lifted your hips to assist him and as soon as they were off, his hands were on your thighs, pushing them apart to give him better access. Then he brought his hand back to your core, circling your little bud a few more times before pushing into you, your head rolling back as you gasped at the feeling.

The next few minutes were a blur of pleasure as he fucked you with his fingers, moving down as you started to get close to use his tongue on you too.“Oh my god!” you yelped several minutes later as you reached your climax, your juices running down Renjun’s fingers to his palm, your own hands clawing at the edge of the counter for purchase. “Good girl” Renjun cooed pushing you through your orgasm. You breathed heavily, leaning back on your arms as Renjun withdrew his fingers from you, holding your back with his other hand to support you. “Open,” he said, holding his fingers up to your lips. You fulfilled his wishes, parting your lips to taste yourself and clean his fingers of your arousal. He may have just fucked you but this was by far the most erotic thing he’d done yet. You moaned around his fingers, licking the last of your mess off before he removed them, placing his hands back on your hips.

“You liked that?” Renjun whispered as he leaned his forehead against yours, his hands moving up and down your waist, soothing you in the aftermath of your orgasm.

“Yes,” you whimpered, feeling a little bashful after having just come for your best friend. Your intimate moment however was shattered as you heard the rattle of the door handle and someone knocking loudly.

“Jesus will you hurry up?! You’ve been in here ages. Other people need to pee too you know!” You heard an irate voice from the other side of the door. Your eyes widened. Perhaps the bathroom at a house party wasn’t the best place to have had this particular exchange. “Oops” Renjun said, smirking as he helped you down from the counter. The door banged again. “ONE SECOND!” You yelled back as you hurried to put your panties back on and Renjun set about washing his hands.

A few seconds later you emerged from the bathroom, Renjun in tow, only to see Jisung standing right out side. “Oh. Sorry Jisung.” you said, praying that he hadn’t overheard your encounter. Luckily though, the noise of the party seemed to have drowned out any of the sounds you’d made. “Jesus what were you two doing in there? I’ve been waiting for ages” Jisung grumbled, giving you a curious look. “Just hiding!” you chirped not wanting to seem suspicious. “Right well next time hide somewhere other than the bathroom. I’ll see you in a minute, I really have to pee,” he said, pushing past you and slamming the door. You looked at Renjun and immediately saw the relieved expression on his face making you burst into laughter. “Come on dork, let’s go find Jeno.”

Taglist: @patchi-chi @classic-antifood @stopitvpls @arimeetsevil @strayteezjinnie @colpen @yuuuumiiin @aka-minhyuk-kun @mxrcayong

He’d worried about that earlier, back during the impromptu study session when you’d appeared with your gifts— you’d pulled your phone out at the end of the hour and for one bone-chilling second, he thought you were about to ask him for contact information. It made sense; you might’ve wanted to schedule another day to study or something, but he’d frozen like you were about to leap across the table and devour him whole. As stupid as it was, it was only then that he realized he only had one number. And you already knew it. He couldn’t give it to you again, only for the contact to appear as the version of himself he was starting to detest a little more every day, Duckboy’s face popping up on your screen to ruin everything; but if you reached across the table to ask him to put it in, what else would he be able to do?

Thankfully all you’d been doing was checking a text, the same one that made you look up at the clock and curse before sliding all the books off the desk into the open maw of your book bag and darting off. All you left in lieu of a goodbye was a promise to catch up with him again soon and another thanks for the help.

Even as his heart palpitated from the near miss he smiled a little as you ran, and even managed a laugh when you had to twirl, ballerina style, to avoid crashing into an oblivious tittering couple wandering out of the cafe. He promised to figure out the number thing that very night, but of course got caught up with his Econ studies again and forgot.

But now with Donghyuck’s heads up, he couldn’t afford to forget again. 

It ended up being significantly easier than he thought. Maybe guilt made him think it would be a tedious process; having to meet someone at some seedy back alley tech shop somewhere, using cash to slip a brandless simcard into his pocket at midnight— but it only took a single Google to gain another unlimited texting plan under his contract within the minute. It appeared like a brand new string of digits right under his regular one— a shiny new number, quite literally, just for you.

And not a moment too soon. Because your promise to catch up with him again soon apparently meant the next day, where you appeared at his usual spot in the library again, brandishing your phone in his face like court summons.

“I’m not staying long,” you’d said, “I only just realized I should probably get your number if we’re going to do this studying thing again, right?”

And in just the way he’d memorized, he’d entered his new number with a smile. 

He’s not going to lie; at first, he’d felt pretty clever about it. Two phone numbers is a pretty good way to get around his unique, two-faced predicament. Another layer of safety in the stupid game of identity that’s become his life, another potential crisis avoided. But that night, as he laid in bed and prepared himself to reply to the usual textbook’s worth of texts from you, the relief from dodging detection turned into shame like everything else has been doing these days.

What he's doing isn't right. Despite his actions, trust and believe, Renjun is fully aware of that fact.

This had all stemmed from one innocent lie, hadn't it? One born out of honest desire to make things right again— as right as he could without actually telling you the truth, which may of spoke to his cowardice better than he really understood— the idiotic, in hindsight, decision to not immediately tell you who he was. He was worried you wouldn't like what you saw, that he couldn't live up to whatever version of him you seemed to like so much in your head. He was worried you'd think he was some sort of voyeur, showing up at your game without asking for something more nefarious than just wanting to see you.

He was scared something would go wrong if he told you the truth and lied to cover it up. Something small, something that would stay small if he stuck to the plan of leaving you alone.

But he couldn't leave you alone. And somewhere along the way that lie began to... grow. Donghyuck's library ambush, to helping you study that night, to telling you Duckboy moved back to China, to your thank you gifts: every interaction with you fed that lie, and as it grew bigger and bigger, it fabricated into something he couldn't recognize as... genuine, anymore.

Renjun was no longer coming from a place of pure intention. He was being selfish. A kid who craves the party and the cake, someone who swears they only want some but cries and whines for all of it when it so dangles tantalizingly close. Mystery Girl, the version of you in his phone, was the slice. Perfect on its own, the right amount to be full, just enough sugar to satiate; all he thought he needed.

But the you he'd met on the court that day had been the whole, gittering, gleaming, buttercream double-decker. He'd pushed you away on principal, knowing he'd been fine with the slice, that it wasn't fair for him to have it all, that he didn't deserve to have it all. It wasn't even his birthday. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve you.

But you didn't know it wasn't his birthday, and as you inched closer and closer, none the wiser to the truth, he got... greedy.

(Accepting your thanks in the library had been his hand reaching out, and offering to help you study had been his fingertip dragging through the icing, forever marring that barrier between before and after. And he knew this. He knew that once he went as far as to taste it he'd be a goner, which was why he knew he had to tread carefully as the lines blurred further. There was no going back when it came to you; once he let himself into your orbit, he'd never, ever be strong enough to leave.)

He flinched as his screen lit up in his hand.

Right above the dozen messages from you as Mystery Girl, was one new text from you. The actual you, the last four digits of the number you’d told him to look out for.

02-939-0…, 8:12PM: hihi!! it is me (y/n lol) 

Renjun sat up fast enough to make himself dizzy, immediately forgetting that he'd meant to text you back first in the other thread, too focused on not keeping you waiting. The real you, anyway.

(What he hadn't really realized yet though, was that the moment he met you on that court, he'd already committed the fatal act of placing the sugar on his tongue. All that was left was to fall deeper and deeper into the high.)

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