#raychl

Nathaniel stood in Yvva’s garden, hands fumbling at the neck of his dress shirt as he struggled to swallow past the frozen muscles in his throat. His hand automatically came down to smooth the white material down his chest and readjust the blazer jacket he’d thrown on top to match the black slacks. His eyes refused to stray from the double doors as he stabbed shaking fingers through his hair, trying by nature to get it to lay flat without product.

Sorry, I never told all I wanted to say. Now it’s too late to hold you ‘cause I’ve flown so far away.

How could his chest feel so tight, when his heart had stopped beating years before? Anxiety still plagues the dead, as it turned out.

He felt his body still as the doors began to ease open. Too slow for his taste, they parted for figures to enter the sacred garden of his long-time friend.

Air left his lungs at the sight of his daughter. Excitement and grief wracked his soul at what seeing her really meant, but she was here.

Darling, I never showed you- Assumed I’d always be there. I, I took your presence for granted- but I always cared. And I miss the love we shared.

She walked like her mother, holding her chin high like he did. She took every step as if it had been calculated months before, her posture daring anyone to doubt it. Her hair, he noticed, was pinned with twin combs he’d bought her for her wedding day- a poor gift, considering he’d missed his only child’s most important day in favor of closing an international deal.

He’d been so stupid to think that could reap more benefits than seeing his daughter down the aisle.

“Ray,” he breathed, soon as his lungs decided to start working again. He felt emotion bleed out into his features- his brows grew tight as his eyes began to prickle with the threat of tears.

Her blue eyes- the exact color of his, shaped like Naomi’s, locked on him. He knew the exact moment she gave in- because he felt something inside himself roar in answer.

“Daddy!” she cried moments before lunging forward for him. Nathaniel’s arms opened wide as he steeled himself for impact.

And I knew you were shining down on me from heaven, like so many friends we’ve lost along the way. And I know eventually we’d be together… one sweet day.

As she crashed against him, Nathaniel wrapped one strong around around her shoulders, holding her tight to him as the other came around her waist. Looking up at the teal blue sky above, he blinked through the tears that fell without apology.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” he breathed into her hair. Her hands fisted in the material of his shirt, holding him like the child she was as she shook with her own sobs. “I’m so sorry, Ray. I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over again until his voice broke and all he could do was hold his daughter. “You’re such a good mother, Raychl. I’m so proud of you- I’m sorry I never said it. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m so proud of you.” Her body jerked at the word, so he said it again. “I’m proud of you. I’m so, so fucking proud.”

And I knew you were shining down on me from heaven, like so many friends we’ve lost along the way. And I knew eventually we’d be together… one sweet day.

Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say.

As the water cleared from his vision, Nathaniel focused on the woman who had come in with his daughter. Karsyn offered him a bleary smile through her own tear-streaked eyes a healthy distance away.

The two of them had been a team for her, he realized. From the moment Karsyn had stepped up and decided that this girl wouldn’t be raised without a woman in her life, they’d been a team. Naomi had left this world, and Karsyn had never tried to take that spot in Raychl’s life, but she’d given a part of herself to his child.

Raychl had been Karsyn’s first daughter; the first person she’d truly loved outside of herself.

Time and time again he’d shut her out of making plans for Raychl, and he couldn’t regret it more. If he’d listened to his friend, maybe they wouldn’t be here.

Waving her forward with his hand, he waited until Karsyn stood behind Raychl to pull her in, too. His lips fell on her hair, giving her a fierce kiss as his chest continued to shake with emotion. “Thank you. For watching out for her.” For being there when I made her hate me. For picking her up when I refused to acknowledge that she had a problem. For listening when I couldn’t pull myself away from work. For moving across the sea when I sent her away because I was selfish, and young, and blind.

Karsyn’s hand came up to smooth back the hair from Raychl’s wet face as they both stood in Nathaniel’s embrace. Her smile was soft and warm as she spoke to the girl, whose face was pressed so far into her father’s shirt, he could feel her sniffs. “You can say it now, little one,” she whispered.

Raychl nodded before pulling back just enough to meet her father’s eye. Her face was strong with determination, but broke before the first words left her tongue. “I missed you so much!”

Nathaniel’s answering chuckle was punctuated with soft moan. “Baby, I missed you too. I missed you too.”

Pushing the french doors to her bedroom wide open, Raychl Cross pulled the black satin robe tighter around her pale body as she walked barefoot into the living room. Her Ride of the Night was just starting to wake behind her on the king sized bed, but he could find his own way home.

The blonde stepped around the empty liquor bottles and hazardous materials that littered her floors. She’d get a detox team in here to clean the place up later, if she remembered.

Walking around the couch, she settled into an oversized black leather chair that her father had unintentionally bought last semester. She’d just tucked her legs under her when the blackette on the sofa let out an exceptionally white cloud of smoke from his lungs. The joint in his hand was messily rolled, speaking volumes to how high he must have been when he fixed it up.

“How long do you intend on hiding out here?” Raychl asked with a devilish smile on her lips. She snatched the champagne bottle from the coffee table to find it was half-empty. Breakfast.

When no response came, she continued. “You know I don’t mind having you here-” her One Night Wonder was stalking out, careful to avoid eye contact as he slipped out the front door of her condo. No worries there, buddy. She had no soul. “-but it’s been a few months and you’ve got family in the states that would probably like to know-”

Daniel Nightengale shook his head slowly, cutting off her train of thought. Leaning forward, he passed her the blunt which she had to doctor with heavy drags. He’d almost let the damn thing go out.

Raychl didn’t have to try hard to ignore the dark circles under his eyes or his ignorance of her five star shower which sat only a few feet away. She didn’t even have to look away from his grey t-shirt and jeans which he hadn’t changed out of since showing up at her doorstep three months ago.

It wasn’t her place to judge him.

Life will come my way, It has only just begun. The world will die alone The frail will fall below.

Death will take our place. We return it back to one The calm before the cold, The long and lonely road.

Daniel reclined against the back of the couch, his eyes open but unseeing. The drugs helped, as she’d said they would, but the voices demanded to be heard. Voices that had no face, no lips to speak from, but still they shouted within the walls of his mind, driving him to insanity.

Your family waits for you across the water, Young God. With a voice like the purr of an engine, the faceless speaker continued. He waits for you with open arms, begging to be saved from his captor.

Caydin’s bright eyes lit up Daniel’s mind like blue beacons, calling him.

Look for the light that leads me home.

His mind immediately attempted to reply their last scene, but the voices- so persuasive- warped and mangled the memory until it was completely fauxed.

Caydin’s hand on his face, the soft tone of his voice as he begged for Daniel’s warm touch. Rue’s cutting grip as he pulled the blackette up, jealousy firing behind those grey eyes he thought he’d known so well. His brother was jealous of them, and wanted Caydin all to himself.

And like a coward, Daniel had left the blond to his captor.

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure.

The voices nudged him, egged him on to return. To take back the love of his life, to show Caydin that he was sorry for leaving when the blond had needed him most. The voices whispered suspicions as to what Rue was doing to their love- their life thousands of miles away in America.

Drive the cloud away, We will fall from last to none. The dark before the dawn, The world will carry on.

Look for the light that leads me home.

Blue eyes were all he saw, all that plagued his mind. He slept with Caydin, ate with him, spent all hours of the day with him. Sometimes, the voices were merciful and whispered in his tones, mocking Daniel’s weakness when he called out loud for his lost love.

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasted breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure.

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasted breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.

“Dani? Daniel? Hey, Nightengale. You in there?” Raychl was tapping on his knee, holding the joint between two fingers as an offering to him.

Stirring, Dani reached for it. His hair was longer than it ever had been before, reaching his shoulders. Caydin wouldn’t like that- he needed to get it cut. And his eyes- he’d only caught glimpses, but from Raychl’s comments he knew they flickered now. The luminescence spasmed with his powers- a gift from Her.

He had gained so much from Her. He could never thank Her enough. She’d given him the voices, his gifts- though he had to find a way to use them himself- but She had opened his eyes to so much more than he was.

She had broken him down until he was nothing, and made him whole again.