#caydin

I’ve been here before, but always hit the floor. 

I’ve spent a lifetime running, And I always get away. But with you I’m feeling something That makes me want to stay.

Daniel ran a hand over the front of his vest, smoothing down the rich material. His jacket rested over the back of a tall chair in the kitchen he’d left moments before, traded for the empty living room. He’d spent months preparing this house, shaping every detail in his mind with his face pressed against the crack in his cage.

I’m prepared for this, I never shoot to miss, but I feel like a storm is coming. If I’m gonna make it through the day, then there’s no more use in running. This is something I gotta face.

His eyes scanned the room, running over the black leather sofa, matching armchairs on each side. The wide shag rug, white over the grey hardwood floors. Hanging above the couch, a painting of the forest in the thick of night. A rich bookcase stood tall on the far wall, the titles rebound to look rustic in character amongst the modern setting of the room. The fireplace behind him roared, warming the backs of his knees.

Every detail, from the coasters resting on the endtable to the foundation of this mansion.

If I risk it all, could you break my fall?

The expensive Armani soles of his shoes gave little noise as the raven made his way to the marbled bar, passing his reflection in a large oval mirror. Before pouring his glass, he rolled up the sleeves of his button down in four meticulous tugs until they rested just before the crease of his arm.

How do I live? How do I breathe? When you’re not here I’m suffocating. I wanna feel love, run through my blood. Tell me, is this where I give it all up?

The whiskey burned his throat, but he reveled in it. Everything from the chill in the air to the feel of glass in his palm- it served as a reminder.

He’d escaped his cage. Trapped amongst the damned, locked away like the family disgrace.

Turning, he leaned back against the counter while swirling the amber liquid in it’s boulder. Tilting his head to one side, the handsome god watched the far end of the room where the hallway melted away to stairs.

“Darling?” He called. Immediately, footsteps responded. Daniel never looked away, finishing off his drink in one swing.

For you, I have to risk it all; ‘cause the writing’s on the wall.

The soft steps grew louder, closer. With each beat down the stairs, Daniel’s hollow chest tightened. He never tired of this little trick, reveled in it.

A million shards of glass that haunt me from my past, As the stars begin to gather, and the light begins to fade, When all hope begins to shatter, know that I won’t be afraid.  

Caydin walked into the room, blue eyes lighting up at the sight of the raven. The smile on his face would have stopped Daniel’s heart, were it still beating. His steps continued, walking right up to the god just to press a soft kiss to his cold cheek.

“Will you sing for me, love?”

If I risk it all, could you break my fall?

Daniel’s answering smile was soft, barely reaching his eyes. He cleared his throat, leaning his head back to roam his eyes over his soulmate’s perfect form. Setting his empty glass aside, he reached out to run a gentle knuckle down the blond’s cheek.

It went right through the illusion, his angel’s smile remaining.

How do I live? How do I breathe? When you’re not here I’m suffocating. I wanna feel love, run through my blood. Tell me, is this where I give it all up? For you I have to risk it all, ‘cause the writing’s on the wall.

“Not tonight, darling.” Caydin’s frown drew a soft chuckle from the raven. “Maybe tomorrow.”

Fists going to his hips, cheeks puffed out, Caydin pouted. “What’s so important that you can’t sing for me?”

Turning from the sight, Daniel poured himself a second glass. “I’ve got visits to make tonight.”

How do I live? How do I breathe? When you’re not here I’m suffocating.

“Who are you going to visit? Don’t leave me. Stay here, stay with me.”

I wanna feel love, run through my blood. Tell me, is this where I give it all up?

Daniel barely turned from the bar, glancing over one shoulder to reply. “I want to stay with you. I never want to leave, my love.”

“Then don’t.”

How do I live? How do I breathe? When you’re not here I’m suffocating. I wanna feel love, run through my blood. Tell me, is this where I give it all up? For you I have to risk it all, 

This time, he tipped his head back with the glass. Whiskey burned it’s way to his stomach, drawing a soft gasp from the raven. “You’re dead, Caydin.”

“I’m… what?”

His blue eyes followed the movements of his glass as it returned to the counter. “You’re dead. I’m going out tonight to ruin the people responsible.”

“Wait, I’m-” He heard the gasp behind him, let his eyes unfocus as Caydin moved to get a good look at the scars he’d kept in the shadows. “Dani… what happened? Wha-what happened to your face?”

What happened, Dani?

What happened?

She’d walked here. Nicolette scanned the twilight sky with dark, grey eyes as she stood in the midst of crashing waves. The shores of Drigulia were rough; sand to match the Dark Angel’s stormy eyes, and more rocks than shells scattered the ocean floor.

Nothing like the coasts her parents had taken her to when she was younger.

Knee deep in the water, she barely recognized the fact that her dress was getting ruined by the sea foam. It was a beautiful thing, ivory in color with cascading ripples of fabric that hung from clasps at each shoulder. Her robe was tied at her neck, and with thin fingers she slowly undid it so that it fell into the water behind her.

Her face tilted up, she closed her eyes as a ravaged sob choked from her lips. But even here, with no staff or subject to see, the Queen of Angels refused to cry.

“Papa,” she whispered as her eyes fluttered open. The sky had darkened already, leaving the twinkling stars in the wake of colorful spears cutting through the late hour. “Daddy.”

Calling for them seemed wrong, like a betrayal. For four years she’d shouldered the burden of her crown, holding the hopes of her people in scarless fists so tight. There had been high expectations of her from the beginning- the daughter of their rightful White king, and the Dark Leader that had single handedly ended a decade-long rebellion. Her fathers had brought two divisions together, and she had been expected to continue that momentum… alone.

“Help me,” she mumbled.

If she tried hard enough, she could remember them well. Their antics towards each other, the way they would play like teenagers in love, even long after their marriage. Her papa would call Caydin his little ocean, and in turn her father named Rue his galaxy. She couldn’t quite remember the origin, though she was sure she’d been told before.

Happiness. They’d had happiness, and love.

The backs of her eyes stung, but Nicolette pushed the tears away. With one hand, she pushed the straps of her dress away until it fell to her knees, floating on the water like a ghostly shell.

“Give me your strength.” Because there had been much between them. Her papa had shouldered an army, slaughtering millions to get her father to his rightful place on the throne. There had been nightmares and guilt, but Rue had taken that price with pride. Caydin had fought beside him, even unwanted on the field of battle, Caydin fought. For his husband, his people, and Nicolette knew, deep in his heart, her father had fought for his children. To give them a world that was different, better.

Stepping out of her dress, Nicolette walked deeper into the cold water that rushed to kiss the skin of her thighs, her waist, her stomach and ribs.

“Please, I need you. I need your guidance.” Initially, when she’d taken the responsibilities that were to fall on their heir, she’d been angry. Furious that her parents hadn’t trained her properly for the life of a Queen. But with every rush of rage, cool reasoning quelled it. They hadn’t had time to even settle into their own roles completely, how could she expect them to have schooled her in the ways of royal politics when they had been learning themselves?

These games were swallowing her, eating her from the inside of her mind to rot. And she hated it. Astor, she knew, shared the feeling of grief for their childhood that had ended so completely in one single night. They’d been forced into an entirely new world filled with monsters wearing the skin of man, and smiles that held more secrets than truths.

Again, she closed her eyes as the swell washed over her head, sending her unbound hair twisting around her face. Please, she prayed silently. Under the water, it was so quiet. She just needed a moment of peace before she returned to the noise of her throne. Tell me this play is the right one. That I won't be killed in my sleep. That there is a happy ending after all and I just haven’t seen it yet.

Tell me this won't end with one of my brothers taking a throne of blood by the end of the year.

Rue Demmekke cursed under his breath as he slammed his head on the roof of his jeep. Frowning and rubbing the sore spot, he pulled back to look at his handywork.

The Wrangler had never seemed so inviting. The doors had been pulled off as Rue liked them to be, the soft top laid down so that all elements of the Jeep were exposed.

And he allowed himself a soft grin.

As the song played on the powerful stereo system switched, Rue’s grin turned into a full-blown devilish smile. He knew what songs his husband would flock to, even if they weren’t the silverette’s favorites he’d played them as loud as the Jeep would allow.

Reaching down beside the front wheel, Rue hauled up the last duffel bag and stored it just behind the passenger seat. There, that seemed about right. He’d stopped by a gas station this morning to fuel up, snagging a still-cool iced tea for Caydin and a decaf cold coffee for himself. Both were in their respective cup holders, ready to go.

When he heard approaching footsteps over the chorus of the song, Rue turned with that wide, boyish smile still planted on his face. For the first time in a while he was wearing civilian clothes rather than his uniform; faded, worn blue jeans and a white sweatshirt that read “I’m in love with the Weekend”, rolled up to his elbows.

Pushing the french doors to her bedroom wide open, Raychl Cross pulled the black satin robe tighter around her pale body as she walked barefoot into the living room. Her Ride of the Night was just starting to wake behind her on the king sized bed, but he could find his own way home.

The blonde stepped around the empty liquor bottles and hazardous materials that littered her floors. She’d get a detox team in here to clean the place up later, if she remembered.

Walking around the couch, she settled into an oversized black leather chair that her father had unintentionally bought last semester. She’d just tucked her legs under her when the blackette on the sofa let out an exceptionally white cloud of smoke from his lungs. The joint in his hand was messily rolled, speaking volumes to how high he must have been when he fixed it up.

“How long do you intend on hiding out here?” Raychl asked with a devilish smile on her lips. She snatched the champagne bottle from the coffee table to find it was half-empty. Breakfast.

When no response came, she continued. “You know I don’t mind having you here-” her One Night Wonder was stalking out, careful to avoid eye contact as he slipped out the front door of her condo. No worries there, buddy. She had no soul. “-but it’s been a few months and you’ve got family in the states that would probably like to know-”

Daniel Nightengale shook his head slowly, cutting off her train of thought. Leaning forward, he passed her the blunt which she had to doctor with heavy drags. He’d almost let the damn thing go out.

Raychl didn’t have to try hard to ignore the dark circles under his eyes or his ignorance of her five star shower which sat only a few feet away. She didn’t even have to look away from his grey t-shirt and jeans which he hadn’t changed out of since showing up at her doorstep three months ago.

It wasn’t her place to judge him.

Life will come my way, It has only just begun. The world will die alone The frail will fall below.

Death will take our place. We return it back to one The calm before the cold, The long and lonely road.

Daniel reclined against the back of the couch, his eyes open but unseeing. The drugs helped, as she’d said they would, but the voices demanded to be heard. Voices that had no face, no lips to speak from, but still they shouted within the walls of his mind, driving him to insanity.

Your family waits for you across the water, Young God. With a voice like the purr of an engine, the faceless speaker continued. He waits for you with open arms, begging to be saved from his captor.

Caydin’s bright eyes lit up Daniel’s mind like blue beacons, calling him.

Look for the light that leads me home.

His mind immediately attempted to reply their last scene, but the voices- so persuasive- warped and mangled the memory until it was completely fauxed.

Caydin’s hand on his face, the soft tone of his voice as he begged for Daniel’s warm touch. Rue’s cutting grip as he pulled the blackette up, jealousy firing behind those grey eyes he thought he’d known so well. His brother was jealous of them, and wanted Caydin all to himself.

And like a coward, Daniel had left the blond to his captor.

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure.

The voices nudged him, egged him on to return. To take back the love of his life, to show Caydin that he was sorry for leaving when the blond had needed him most. The voices whispered suspicions as to what Rue was doing to their love- their life thousands of miles away in America.

Drive the cloud away, We will fall from last to none. The dark before the dawn, The world will carry on.

Look for the light that leads me home.

Blue eyes were all he saw, all that plagued his mind. He slept with Caydin, ate with him, spent all hours of the day with him. Sometimes, the voices were merciful and whispered in his tones, mocking Daniel’s weakness when he called out loud for his lost love.

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasted breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure.

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasted breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.

“Dani? Daniel? Hey, Nightengale. You in there?” Raychl was tapping on his knee, holding the joint between two fingers as an offering to him.

Stirring, Dani reached for it. His hair was longer than it ever had been before, reaching his shoulders. Caydin wouldn’t like that- he needed to get it cut. And his eyes- he’d only caught glimpses, but from Raychl’s comments he knew they flickered now. The luminescence spasmed with his powers- a gift from Her.

He had gained so much from Her. He could never thank Her enough. She’d given him the voices, his gifts- though he had to find a way to use them himself- but She had opened his eyes to so much more than he was.

She had broken him down until he was nothing, and made him whole again.

Four hundred and twenty-six days ago, they’d left with laughter in their wake and smiles on their faces. They’d traded out the traditional black and greys for the royal blue uniform of the White Angel’s military, with great white sashes around the waist. The mass looked defiantly out of place, with their heads held tall and unyielding against the kingdom they’d fought so long to overthrow. This wasn’t a mission a single man or woman took lightly, but it was with a brightness to their eyes that they turned, together, toward a better tomorrow by fighting this last assignment.

Today, what had been a mass was now dwindled down to a handful. They’d left as a family and come back fragmented. The royal blues that they’d once pulled on with rugged smiles and defiance felt more like cloth prisons they couldn’t wait to be rid of.

The Leader ran a hand through his hair, testing the uneven, jagged cut his silver locks had taken in the field. Sasha was great with a machine gun but lacked in the weapons field of scissors. He wondered idly if his family would recognize him- if they’d notice the new lines in his face or the cracks in his mind.

For the first time in months, he could feel the sensation of Death stirring. So far away from any other Harbinger, Death had slumbered quietly while his host’s body ran wet with blood. Sometimes his own, sometimes not.

It felt like just another dream to walk through those doors again, stepping into familiar tiles with his brothers beside him. They’d showered at base, preparing themselves for the adjustments of coming back home. “Find your families. Take as much time as you need,” The Leader said with as much command as he could manage. He knew their minds as well as his own- all he could think about was his family, his children. His men weren’t any different.

He expected a rushed salute, ranking be damned. These men had been away from their families for over a year- to expect anything less would be laughable.

Instead, one by one, they walked up to him. Jericho was the first; balling his right fist, he pressed it to his shoulder and bowed low- a sign of respect and complete devotion. “Thank you for returning me to my wife and son, M’klox.” My Leader.

Stunned, he could only stand in silence with a rigid back as soldier after soldier repeated the gesture until only one remained. Jacyn Rogue Demmekke, decorated general and step-in second hand to the Dark Leader. Black curly hair had been cut short, the same as his, in a butchered attempt to keep it out of their eyes.

Jace walked up until he was only a few inches away, and waited until the last footsteps faded from earshot before grabbing the Leader in a tight hug. “Thank you,” he breathed, though it was hard, “for bringing us back.”

When he stepped back, both of their grey eyes were misty. Both men looked away and took a few minutes to breathe before Jace spoke again. This time, there was an airiness to his voice that had been gone for months. “Go find Cayd and the kids. They miss you.”

-

With his white cap under his arm, Rue stood under the shadow of a large pillar as he watched his family from a few yards away. Nicolette and Caydin were standing close, arms outstretched toward the sun. Evryn and Talyn were running around wrestling while Caydin tossed Rhyver into the air. Rue could tell how terrified his husband was by the hesitation in the throw- he was afraid for their son.

Something inside Rue was wrong- for a moment, he felt absolute rage towards the blond. He should be there, Caydin should have waited for him to return to teach their sons how to properly accept the air under their wings. After all, he was more experienced with his wings- Caydin had only had his for a few years!

A flash of light on Caydin’s left hand as he reached for Rhyver stopped his breath. His wedding ring was reflecting the sun like a beacon, drawing Rue in.

And without thought or reason, without an emotion in his chest other than yearning and love, Rue was walking towards them. The closer he got, the taller he recognized his sons to be. They must have been trying to fly on their own- that had to be the reason Caydin was trying to give them proper lessons.

Rhyver was the first to spot him. Struggling to keep his right wing and left wing coordinated, his head tipped up as he registered movement across the lawn. The blue uniform didn’t seem to discern him- he recognized Rue immediately.