#rawdiscussion

One of my biggest struggles was learning how to change the negative perception I had of myself. After going through many difficult situations, I thought very little of myself. I believed I deserved all the bad things that happened to me. I perceived myself to be a nuisance to my family and the people around me. I believed everything would be better if I wasn’t around. I hated everything about myself and often told myself I didn’t deserve happiness. Being around abusive people did not help. I started to believe them when they told me I was useless and I would never amount to anything. It was this negativity that brought me to the darkest point of my life.

It wasn’t until I started to surround myself with positive people that I started to change what I thought about myself. People started to acknowledge qualities that I didn’t see in myself. My newly found friends helped build me up and constantly complimented me. They showed me that I was worthy. With their help, I started to hate myself less and realized that I had a purpose. It took me a long time but it finally hit me: my negative perception of myself and the world was not and did not have to be my reality. Just because people think of me a certain way, it doesn’t mean that it’s true. And just because I see myself a certain way, it doesn’t mean it’s a reality. 

So, what’s my perception of myself now? I am a worthy person. I am a smart woman who deserves the good things life has to offer. I value myself a lot more and I hold myself with high expectations. I stopped caring about what people thought of me and I started being someone I am proud of. I see myself as someone who is true to herself and although I am not a hundred percent, I know I am a lot closer than I was. I’ve come to learn that people will always see me how they want to see me—whether it be positive or negative—and I shouldn’t give their judgments power. I now see that there will always be negative people trying to bring me down but I have the power to ignore and keep doing me. And that’s my hope for you: I hope you are strong and loving enough to accept yourself for who you are regardless of what people think of you.

This seems to be one of the harder questions to face. Who am I? So many ways to go about this. So many angles to paint, so many edits to do, but these would not emulate “raw” my intRAWduction. All I can say is I consider myself a human being. Passionate, creative, loving, learning, genuine human being. I am a dreamer. I am a creator. I am a healer. I am a singer, a painter, a baker, a listener, a learner. I am me. 

More than half my life, I felt being untrue to myself due to not fitting in the societal “ideal” or what is considered as “norm”. I lived a life of hiding behind a facade - traded my essence for acceptance, for a sense of belonging. Feeling tired of lying to myself, hurting, self-loathing, and hiding, I decided to face something that I ran away from all along- my true self. What does that look like? 

Layers and layers of intricacies. Intricacies that were very hard to learn, accept, and be one with. Intricacies that stirred and questioned my existence. Intricacies that were too scary that I hide from.  I decided to slowly sort through these intricacies and share my true self for the purpose of accepting, and hopefully, living. I hated talking, being vulnerable, and facing the difficulties- I decided to pursue a living out of talking, being vulnerable, and facing the difficulties. I love my comfort zone- I decided to challenge and stretch myself out of my comfort zone. I value routines and certainties- I decided to shake and shift my structures to adapt and grow.  

I love the creative world for I believe it gives individuals a platform to just be and extract the phenomenal world they are fostering and harboring within them. Through art, music, and writing, I find myself lost, and at the same time, found in my own world. I am creating, healing, and sharing at the same time. I hope that through sharing our world, we also share a platform to express and allow. Allow in a way of embracing our humanness and the organic thoughts and emotions that come along with it.

I would call myself a student and a teacher. I know that every day there is something I can learn. I am passionate about teaching things that I have learned and have benefited me. I think the cycle of knowledge is very powerful—learning, practicing, and teaching. It is endless. 

I don’t really like small talk so I am not going to bore you with my age, ethnicity, gender, and religion because I don’t think that is important. I will tell you about my dreams, my goals, my accomplishments, my failures, my feelings, my thoughts, and always stay true to myself when I do. 

I always dreamt of changing the world so I pleased people so they could be happy. Meanwhile, I was not really focusing on my own happiness. It wasn’t until 2017 was when I took action and realized that in order to change the world, I must first change myself. So I decided to follow my dream of traveling. I quit my four jobs and started this journey of listening to my thoughts, my feelings, my body, and healing.

There were many times I fell off my path but I have always found a way back. I believe in the power of natural healing. I believe in the importance of discussing topics out loud. I believe we must question things not just accept because society or someone said so. I believe in the power of love and kindness and that we all must share amongst each other.

To foster such conversation/expression of thoughts, we decided to utilize this platform to share. Every other week, we will introduce a topic we considered as a group to tackle, explore, reflect, and share. We extend this platform to YOU to challenge yourself, through these topics, to also tackle, explore, reflect and share with us. We will honor and respect each other’s perspectives. No shaming blaming or hate towards one another. To join the conversation - we allow anonymity and no tumblr account needed to join the conversation (under “Submit a Topic” tab).

***Disclaimer: Some of these topics can be sensitive to others, even, triggering for some. We respect your level of comfortability and understand that expression will come when you’re ready, and with your own pace. This platform is intended to foster a positive and supportive community where individuals can express themselves. This is not intended to replace or substitute for professional help/guidance. If you need further professional help and/or resources, please seek them.

RAW (adjective)

Frank and realistic in the depiction of unpleasant facts or situations.

"a raw, uncompromising portrait"

synonyms: realistic, true to life, unembellished, unvarnished, gritty, naked, bare, brutal, harsh;frank, candid, honest, forthright, straightforward, direct, blunt, outspoken.

"raw images of the human race"