Not all these movies incorporating some of my actual worst fears into a series, though:

1) Log trucks and semi-trucks: Look they scary anyway, and you can’t tell me that it’s not a possibility!

2) A wreck on a bridge: Again, can happen!

3) Actually being sucked up by that pool suction thing: BIG NO. I almost had my ass sucked in by a buoy one time. No thank you!

4) The Tanning Bed Scene: I went to a tanning bed one time, and it in itself feels like a hot coffin: NO. THANK YOU

5) Rollercoaster falling off the track: realized.

6) When dude’s in the dentist office and he’s being put to sleep and that shit starts acting up: I had to get braces throughout my whole high school years and I would not stop thinking about that scene

Tumblr: *shark post*

Me: NOPE NOPE NOPE SHARKS ON MY DASH

I’m one of those people who is basically winging it being adult. And functional. I always have a feeling that someone’s going to say “Hang on, that’s bullshit and you’re doing it wrong. You have no idea how to do this, do you?” and I’ll be shunned and have to move to Rhodes and open a fish restaurant under an assumed name.

Amusing spin-off effects of this very real anxiety include asking people for help when I write stuff. I’ll come up with something, need input from someone qualified and then I sweat bullets wondering if the answer will be “you have NO fscking idea about this, please never use a keyboard again” and I’ll find myself blocked by said person and all his/her friends.