#rapefic

so one day I was feeling a little bit agressive about our spethial boy and his happines (I needed that fluff okay?) so I wrote a big rant about how he was confused and broken but good deep down and he grow so much since we started with him and he deserve his happy end and yadda yadda. and you know what? my friend completly broke down. like, sobbing and howling and biting her hands, that kind of stuff. luckyly, it wasn’t my first whitnessed breackdown, so I calmed her a little. and later? (2/?)

she told me about awful relationships she escaped literally days before we met. how she hated herself, cause she run away and didn’t helped other girl in this mess. how she was afraid and how her trauma keep her awake at night. how she have hurt herself, and how she found that she can hurt that fictional boy instead. and than there was those plots, redemption and second chances for Bad Person Who Should Suffer And Didn’t Deserved Anything Good and??? (3/?)

she couldn,t belive in it, but we spend most part of this year trying to heal him, and somehow with this we make her believe that maybe she have right hor healing and happines too (I’m sobbing while writing this, ugh). she also confessed that she didn’t know words such abuse and selfharm (we’re not from english speaking country and there’s not a lot of such awareness). she just progect on characters what she got, a lot of unheatly stuff too. and learned this only when we discusses plots. (4/?)

[Edit: I didn’t get #5, but anon came back to tell me what was there.] Ahh, it was probably something about how it was intuitively genius of her to do this stuff with roleplaying awful scenarios in safe conditions, you probably know how many brunches of therapy use that kind of work (it’s not always good idea to do it without supervision of course). She also can’t read this stuff now, she says it’s bring to her a lot of distress, more than remembering real trauma, ‘cause she detached emotionally from memories, but all feelings was poured into our characters.

so… I happy for her. and I’m so so so proud that I was abled to help, you know? like, sometimes ago she came to me with father/daughter incest and was like “ok, so we called him daddy and it’s extremly triggering for me and I don’t like it, so, take those two and make them fuck and make it sweet and horny and make me like it so I would think about IT and not HIM”. like, ahh. such closeness. very trust. (we trying to get her to therapy too, of course, but it’s just not possible right now) (6/7)

and like with all this good, healing stuff… can you just imagine, what could be if she found instead some antis. with those ideas and those kinks and those fucked up history and without any support. how someone would tell her that she’s a “freak” and “digusting” and “abuser” (all things I got lately about some stuff btw). like, those dark au literally made her reduce selfharm to almost zero (she had one relaps, one, in this year). it makes me so mad??? srry for rant, also ur awesome!! (7/7)

+ bonus: Anyway right now I listen to her squealing 'cause I gave her early new year gift, so there you are, have something fluffy in all this angst (=

first of all, thank you so much for sharing this <3

your friend sounds like she had an absolutely horrible time, and I’m so glad she found you and fiction that helped her. she deserves to grow and heal from her trauma, and I hope she gets the help she needs soon. but I’m also weirdly proud of how far she came in just a year. here’s to more love and healing for her in the next year.

as for you, anon, please take care of yourself. you’re doing great by helping your friend, but your mental health is as important as hers, and you deserve your own support system.