#rantingsofabeautifulmind

I got more paperwork from FDNY and you’re the first person I wanted to tell because you believed in me so much. But I knew I couldn’t because it would destroy everything I had worked so hard to stay away from you for. I want to hate you so much, but lately all I can do is miss you. Maybe because three days ago made a year that you left to go save the world and become a soldier and it coming up on my time hop and my memories on facebook doesn’t help my sadness on top of everything else you put me through. 

For some reason I’ve always been active with some charity work. I sent three kids to school and made them finish their studies too. I supported their family’s basic necessities for everyday. Though I am not living a grand lifestyle as Hollywood stars or privileged as those in the elite community, but I still manage to buy the things that I want or get myself more than the stuff that I need. I eat more than three times a day and others don’t eat anything at all. People tend to sponsor others who already have a little than those who don’t have anything at all. If I only have the power and the resources to fly to those country where people suffer from starvation and malnutrition, I’ll give them the treatment that they needed and supply them food that they always dream of munching on. I have a soft spot in my heart for those kids who long for a love of a family, who dreamed of going to school and striving for a brighter and better future for their own. I want to help those kids; those who never dare to give up with their dreams of being a “somebody” one day. I am very ambitious and I never get tired of dreaming.

  When I was a kid I witnessed my parents sharing our blessing to others and from there I learned how to be selfless and be aware of other’s needs too. We might be blessed with material things but sometimes we are blessed with good people around that that will eventually help us one day. I want to be that kind of person, somebody that others would take as a form blessing to them by God. We meet people for a reason and we always play a role in someone else’s life. This year I want to learn how to document films, edit videos nicely, and take pictures like a pro. I wanted to make use of it to inspire others. I want to capture real emotions of different people in real time. I want to be inspiring unprivileged kids in my own silly little ways. I want to make people smile and laugh. I wanted to change other people’s lives and make a difference. I’ve learned in the past few months how the $1 can be just worth a child’s chocolate bar and how that same $1 could serve as a one whole meal to others. Life maybe crazy but it’s beautiful too. I’m sad that people manage to splurge on hundreds or thousands of bucks over things that could just meet ends with their temporary madness; just like going to concerts, and showering yourself with booze for a party. Heartbreaking? Yes, for a person with a big heart like me.