So i'm in an Early Childhood Education class rn. This unit is about in-house daycares and I'm realizing that the home daycare I went to as a kid did not follow state guidelines like at all. In my brain I always felt that the teacher, we can call her C, was quite mean but my mom had known her since high school so I always kinda just let it be. But now knowing that what a lot of what she did was so illegal is making me rethink it. Like, there was this one time when a 3 ish year old was mimicking the baby noises an infant there was making. She was told to stop. And she did for a few minutes but her being a toddler, she forgot and did it again. So C storms over, pulls this kid up off her chair by her collar, and says "knock it off" through her teeth. She then plops the kid back down and walks away and leaves this little girl sobbing. And during the little kids nap time, the older kids either could watch 2 movies or go outside. And we had to be silent if we were watching a movie because C would sleep on the couch right behind us. And if we were outside, we were sent out and locked out of the house for the 2.5 hours that nap time happened. And I mean like the door was locked. We had no snacks or food. There was no one watching us. And I just remember being so distressed and crying and crying to go home. She also forced me to eat foods I didn't like and just generally let us do whatever without supervising. And none of us ever really acted out because we were so scared of her. She also had too many kids in her home at once. In my state, you can have either, 4 babies under 12 months, 3 under 12 months and 3 over 12 months, or 6 over 12 months as your maximums. But she would have at least 7 or 8 of us on a busy day. She actually passed away when I was 9 while toddlers were in her home shortly after drop off. And I just feel so terrible for the 2 kids who were there before the next adult got there and found her. And I know you're not meant to speak ill of the dead but it's just so strange to think how she treated us now that I work with little kids as well. And I can promise you I haven't ever lifted a kid by their shirt.
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When your tired after a 16hr shift yesterday so you rant about Sonic and explain why aggressive writing vs. neutral writing helps with sharing ideas
Me and my online Sonic friend talking about Belle.Ā (Iām skipping some dialogue throughout the chat, this was lazily put together lol)
WARNING: Itās long, and itās a rant. So please note that Iām blatantly aware of how wrong my aggressive, sleep-deprived rant was and that Iām statingĀ āDONāT PRESENT YOUR IDEAS LIKE THIS!ā because this is not a healthy nor effective way of sharing ideas.
ALSO, ALL THE MENTIONS OF WHAT I BELIEVE MY FRIEND IS FEELING OR THINKING DURING MY RANT ARE ENTIRELY MY OPINON. If she tells me to delete something or change it I will without hesitation but I find it funny, as I look back, to insert what I think might be going on in her mind XD She might have been oblivious to me but Iāll get her thoughts and change anything if necessary.
Itās also how most trolls and antis and even someĀ ānot experienced writersā write their ideas out, and it can be easily avoided by using Neutral Writing Methods. So this is aĀ ādonāt do this, but try thisā post. Enjoy my badly written, sleepy aggressive rant~<3 (Also, my friend gave me permission to share this lol)
Me: She could be for entertaining little kids. But we already have too many OCs, and they're not 'dying off' any time soon so...I smell a mini-series backup plan...and I don't like what that means for Sonic. And it is cute, sorry, my brain is off the hook right now, I'll keep things to myself cause you may not like what I'm predicting and I'm getting sad thinking about it ;-; so, want to be wrong.
(Friend mentioned āTinker Bellā spin on name.)
That's precious,Ā but can I get a link to the reference sheet plz?Ā Reference sheets can tell a lot about a chara's functionality if you compare it to the 'needs' of the casts.Ā it can help predict their role. I think she's meant to help but also entertain the kids, maybe planted with a secret. Her goal could be to come back to Mr. Tinker but Eggman abuses that and tricks her into a new robot.Ā I got a weird theory about herĀ but I'll just say that she's probably gonna go a bit dark. But be cute and make the audience go, "Aww, poor thing! She's a cinnamon roll" at first, wonder if they'll equip her with 'happy backstory, tragic ending' kinda thing to switch the usual 'tragic backstory happy ending' but I feel this is a tragic character meant to pull emotion out.
(Friend understands my concerns but mentions there hasnāt been a āBadā Oc for the comic)
No one sets out to create a 'bad character' especially professional writers like these guys.Ā But what makes a character 'bad' is if you ruin or oversaturate their purposes. If she's a main character that over-shines others with too much story then the audience feels 'betrayed' because they want that screen time for the main casts to express themselves and shine through. That's just an example. When working with IPs like Sonic casts, you HAVE to remember the fanbase is expecting things Do you like my OCs?Ā be honest lolĀ Not from my prompts.Ā There's a specific way to handle a OC that helps the main cast shine and reveals their characters more. AU Ocs help Canon Characters in many ways.
(Friend admits they have not seen my OCs in some of my fanfictions, theyāve only really read my prompts.)
Oh, well, some of my fanfictions have OCs, not Lavinya,Ā she's just a mascot.Ā My Sonic OC that retried XD Sorry, I'm misspelling a lot but I hope you don't mind, my spellcheck sucks and I've given up on it lolĀ Oh, so you don't know Harmony, Ol'Wizzy, and Data?Or the Metal Series? Well, there are specific Ocs that my readers like and they express/compliment the canon characters to where even though they're a main character, they don't intervene with the Main Cast's goals. They actually help.Ā Then everything I'm gonna say won't have much merit so I'll just focus on waiting to see if my predictions for Sonic IDW will come true, but I really hope they don't do what it looks like they strategically might be pulling... I hate SEGA marketing-Ā
(The beginning of my aggressive rant, please note that Iām not thinking about my image and am writing tired and lazy. This is an example of how NOT to express your opinions in negative ways. It doesnāt influence good at all.)
Their ploys are outdated and frankly, do not work for their IPs market. They target the wrong age group, they have no idea how to organize themselves, and they don't have a leading 'elder' so to speak (just a professional among them) to make good calls. So you have young adults (not super professionals, this might be their first real company job) trying to target internet culture and failing their IPs.Ā They're doing outdated Nintendo tactics that only worked for NINTENDO! Also some other companies that have DIED so why are you copying their marketing strats!? stop! lol
Friend: Did you study marketing because this entire convo kinda flew over my head in terms of understanding (This should have indicated to me that my words were coming off too factual and had too many ājargonsā going on. I was losing my āreaderā through my rant, but my tired brain would not cease!)
Sonic's trying to morph into something he's not and they're following outdated college course books and it's not gonna help... they're leading Sonic further down and the creators in japan have no power cause all the power is in the stock holders who are stupid money-hungry americans who have lost faith in American SEGA leading SEGA of Japan to move on to other things
Friend: mostly just got you donāt like the marketing (Huge red flag! This means my friend is starting to tune my info out, itās because Iām presenting my ideas in a slightly aggressive writing style. There are trigger words here that lead an reader to start doubting you. This is why, in most of my answer posts, I make sure to write Neutral writing methods, but Iāll mention that more after my rant lol XP)
It's just bad. Lol I have a Frankenstein degree, (Now Iām justifying myself, which was caused by my aggressive approach. If I simply stated this in a moreĀ āneutral writing methodā then I wouldnāt have to worry about creditability claims because Iām not trying to sell my idea as the high authority on it.) which means I have knowledge on many different fields. I never took a fully -dedicated- 'marketing class' I took a lot of different communication classes that went to my overall major. One was directly about how you present, sell, and look at marketing tactics. So I have my fingers in many different fields, my major was "Creative Writing for Fiction and Film with an Emphasis in Video Production and a Cluster in Theatre Arts." So I can be on camera, off camera, post and pre production, creative table and actual filming. Does that make sense? (Iām not fully awake to realize what Iām writing, but itās clear at this point Iām starting to wake up and realize Iām ranting and tossing my ideals of how to present ideas out the window, but letās watch my follies and learn from them, shall we?) I have theories on what SEGA is going to do, and I have my worries because it's all outdated.Ā It worked for older companies but those companies also targeted a varying audience, which SEGA refuses to see themselves as for a 'teenage audience' which is exactly why they boomed in the 90s. Their target audience is now 20s.
Friend: There areĀ Kids who also like Sonic, even if they donāt play the games though. (Due to my aggressive tactics from not thinking clearly about, not just the what, but the HOW Iām writing, it has turned my friend into aĀ ācontrasting neutralityā which is amazing by the way that she did this! She noticed my writing was turning aggressively ranting, and being my friend, didnāt want to be rude about what she was noticing. -Iām guessing lol- so instead, she took the commentary approach, which is to state the good as well. This is a terrible position to put your reader into, and you should make sure to always have good examples and good praise mixed in to contrast any opposing or aggressive statements you ever make. -though you should avoid aggressive writing at all times- Sadly, this does put the reader, in this case my friend, in a very vulnerable position. It leaves them open for attack... but thankfully, sheās a wonderful friend and had trust that I wouldnāt hurt her on her counter-follow-up.)
So instead of using their 40 to 50 year old charts, start with looking at early millennial trends and desires. They tried for 'angst' to 'adultify' Sonic but it busted because we are STICKLERS for animation. Because their story was so scrapped together and had no actual character depth, motivation, or even emotional growth to develop for future game lore, they went for the 'easy made game' (Easy baked oven quote lol thatās just mean XD) We loved the trailer, it was well made, but they threw their animators elsewhere and made the programmers (WHO BLANATLY ADMIT THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO DO STORY/GRAPHICS) and made them do things they aren't trained in.Ā Those micro-head movements and mouths took them A LONG TIME to figure out.
(My friend is now agreeing with me several times through my rant. This is a tactic that is used asĀ āavoidanceā but also forĀ āappeasementā. Sheās probably tuned out by now, but respects what Iām saying but is also incredulous at it as well. Itās fair, Iāve cornered her into my sleepy-time rant, and being the lovable woman that she is, she is simply waiting for me to realize my follies lolol I wish she would have told me but I think she knew I was beyondĀ ālogical reasoningā at this point and was just letting me get it all out lolol What a good friend TDT)
Animation can't be learned that fast AND expect them to program a game AT THE SAME TIME. Sonic Forces was a 'split up SEGA' trying to get those who survived and said, "Yeah, I'll stay in this job." to do things that THEY AREN'T EVEN TRAINED IN. you put a game programmer on animation and some other stuff they didn't know what to do with and expect it be a top-notch seller.
Friend: (in more attempts to join in and be a āparticipantā of the conversation Iām clearly dominating -MY ABSOLUTE BAD- she tried to engage normal conversation flow into the discussion again. At this point, she probably did notice I wasnāt my usual self, and just decided to play along and enjoy the ride lolol Iām just guessing this tho, but itās a good chance to reflect on what āwrongsā I was doing and whatĀ ārightsā she was doing during this situation ;)b) My big issue with SEGA is that they rush everything.Ā A lot of things wouldāve been better if they had the proper time.
That was resolved actually.
Friend: Oh? It was? (Although this looks like an encouragement, itās actually just another avoidance tactic to help me āget the venting outā but itās clear sheās not fully onboard anymore. When you write to discuss, you have to leave room for otherās opinions to shine through as well. Healthy conversation doesnāt mean forcing the other person to comply to you. A lot of this is educated guess based on past research, she knows this, and itās clear sheās got her own research. Please remember to never shoot someone down when they try to engage you in your conversations. But again, this is theĀ ādonāt do thisā and me upset at my tired self for not waking up fast enough to contemplate how I was coming across in my wordings. Letās continue to investigate and dissect the train wreck, shall we?)
That was an issue a few years ago but SEGA is taking their time, it's just that they can't organize themselves and hire the right professionals. They have old tactics, they have rookies that aren't 'Fresh Blood with professionalism' like they need.Ā They don't need an old fart who knows his stuff, they need a new guy who is dedicated and passionate about their company who will remain there, learn them in and out, and knows his stuff SPECIFICALLY for the things SEGA needs.Ā You have to grow that. You have to hire a very talented and young spunky and fresh professional, have him work with you for 10-15 years, and start training others. But SEGA is already recognized as a 'established' company.
(Friend is still agreeing with me, but is aware of my way of presenting it isnāt āAs nice as I usually present itā so she starts mentioning the symptoms of Japanese Work Culture. A wonderful, insightful point to mention! But letās see how I butcher this as well...)
It's not Japan though! (Again, shutting her down. Tsk tsk, sleepy me. Wake up, you lazy bum.) They won't let Japan interfere! They're all really rude to japan actually. The guys in charge, anyway.Ā We all respect the officials, but SEGA of America people just want results.Ā They are just funders, they don't actually work the company.
Friend: So you blame them for everything? (Sheās trying to help me see that my writing is coming off asĀ āhateā which is because of my aggressive writing follies Iām doing so bluntly. Letās please all admire my friendās patience as she lets me rant and kindly waits for me to realize how bad Iām handling my 16 hr shift from yesterday lolol)
Look, business is really unfair, and I get that, but if I have to rant (Iām starting to wake up more, oh goodie.) I'd say they really need to humble themselves and ask Japan to please take ownership again. They kicked out people due to a money crisis but they need a game that will be 'safe to secure money but get enough excited momentum to help us push on and continue.' which isn't Japan's strategy usually.Ā Japan likes risks, they also like money too. They trust America too much (especially in the beginning) because America is a HUGE consumer. For the world in fact. But I think they sacrificed too much for the company (common in Japan) and trusted America too much in making decisions.Ā The officials are too nice to say that America screwed them over because America wanted full control. Well guess what? They have too much control now and their product is sinking..
Friend:Ā Youāve got a lot of fire about this topic. (After I completely disregarded reading her follows-ups and continued to rant, my unconditionally kind friend finally threw in the towel, realizing I was no where near my usually āpresentā self and was probably just flopped back in her chair smiling at my idiocy of not understanding her kind and subtly hints.) Go ahead and rant it out. (BOOM! Obvious right!? I should have corrected myself but at this point, I was writing like wild fire with droopy, waking up eyes and didnāt even read it during my long paragraphs...)
Sonic won't ever fade away due to it's fans, but the company is struggling to figure itself out for YEARS now. I just worry what they plan to do next. But I have a theory that they are really putting the next game in Japan's hands, a lot of activity is happening in SEGA of Japan, and they're spending WAY MORE TIME on the next installment of Modern Sonic (or Classic, still unsure which one it is yet.)Ā I really think they need a remake game to give them profit, then use that profit for their next big installment. But so far, I think they are working on a game BUT corona might have effected production so I'm sure they are working but I'm concerned if Corona helped manage 'time and quality' or is helping to ruin it...That I can't investigate yet :(Ā I just wish for the best (IāM FINALLY WAKING UP FULLY AS I STOP AND REALIZE-) Sorry for my rant!Ā My theory talk showed through and I don't usually like doing that so forgive me. I'm tired and that's why T-T
Friend: Itās cool we all need to rant sometimes. (My friendās going to make it to Heaven TwT sheās so kind.)
(Then I profuselyĀ apologized a billion times cause I realize how badly this all went down. lol)
(But the terror hasnāt ended... she mentioned some youtube videos mentioning other opinions as well. -which Iām usually cautiousĀ of cause some of them can be fanon.-)
OHhhh did he mention the arcade crash??? the literal WORST event in SEGA history???Ā That's literally where they sank the titanic,Ā SEGA has never recovered from selling off their stocks. (IāM BACK AT IT AGAIN. -facepalm-) Shareholders are everything now and it's the biggest loss ever. Also, the problem is that kids don't play the games, (Rereading my follies and wanting to answer but still only just waking up...) but SEGA can't figure out why they like the characters and can't seem to take the FREAKIN' TIME to learn their lore. (Overwhelming the conversation again.) My easy steps: Re-establish Sonic lore CANONLY AND CORRECTLY, Re-gather the Japanese Officials original plans and notes, guides and study art, Re-make some popular games with the most details on Animation, Fluidity of motion graphics, and with modern Technology incorporated into the game. Once that is accomplished, they will have enough money to then- Create a continuity. Only with a flowing story and relevant past lore can they start moving forward. Animation will target their audience, Story and character re-established arcs will bring nostalgia and new blood to the field of their games, and then Japan's influences will keep it authentic for the continuities so we don't have fandom mixing with canon NEARLY AS BADLY as before anymore. Ugh, it does matter their sales, but I literally bought a book on the history of SEGA, and read a really compelling history article about more then just the Console Wars... I know SEGA has survived literally the edge of extinction on multiple fronts, but someone needs to take charge of their Sonic branch, and it's... it's just too outdated. kk, sorry for the rant.
Friend: (After being multiple times ignored, even after my brief moment of clarity, is still an angel. Frustrated, maybe, but an angel.) And your steps sound really good. Also mostly just listen to his vids if you ever do. Itās ok we all need to rant. (THE WORLD DOESNāT DESERVE THIS GURL T-T)
I'm tired so my 'angry' is showing and it's not professional XD do you mind if I post my rant? lolĀ Actually, no. (Realize how awfully I delivered my ideas, this is where I begin to see my errors and where the clarity comes into play. -we all have our off days lol- )
Friend: Go for it
I want to but it's too aggressive.Ā I'm too lazy to rewrite it out so I'll just save that for another day XD You got a rare treat
Friend: (This is actually interesting and fascinatingĀ to her. But she realized then that I finally did see my error.) Concerned youāll get aggressive responses back?
Honest opinion is sometimes too blunt and I need to be careful about that
Friend: I mean itās always good to try and get most of the anger out so you seem more professional (Saint. Literally. A saint. Sheās puts up with too much of my crap XD)
That, and also the war of 'But this is Cutegirlmayra? She's so sweet and constantly puts her answers in supportive, positive lights so that if SEGA were to see it, they would feel empowered to try it instead of threatened and throw it off as hate or something unprofessional.'Ā I have an image too. I can't post something super aggressive or I'll lose trust.Ā You're right.
Friend: Iām glad you put a lot of thought into everything you post
I apologize for it tho T-T I didn't mean to dominate with such opinions...lol I worry who I influence, you know?
Friend: Most people donāt and trust me they get into trouble cause of it.Ā And yeah.
I don't want to create trolls or heated arguments. I want to teach people they can safely express an idea without using such awful communication. Exactly,Ā it's professional fanism. lolĀ Positive writing is what companies and their employees actually read. (Iām almost fully awake now lol, realizing my blunder and starting to explain why I was in the wrong. Good on me, pat on the back, admitting I was coming off as aggressive is the first step to changing and getting better lolol Also, Iām including her more, and Iām sayingĀ āYouāre right.ā and sheās goingĀ āAnd yeah.ā which is a indicator that the conversation is slowly returning to an enjoyable and healthy one. ;w; happy endings lol)Ā That's why I skip the aggressive stuff, even if it's passive, I write in a neutral setting so everyone feels safe to read, even someone who works at SEGA.
Friend: (Mentions some nintendo youtuber rant and also news as well, then says-) It was honestly very professional sounding and not rude. (MY HEART, YOU KNEW THAT WAS AN AGGRESSIVE RANT lololol So nice to me TDT)
Lol you had to have seen how slightly aggressive it was tho. (IāM CALLING YOUR BLUFF, BESTIE lol) You literally asked, "You blame America for it?" which is not always true but semi-true. They were way too prideful (Aggressive word) and haughty (Still aggressive terminology) about their success in other Japanese products that they wanted to completely change Sonic to their own wishes, pushing out Japan's creative "licenses" (I use this word loosely, and this gives a slightly aggressive feel but is also more dumbed down so it's more 'passionate' than just aggressive)
Friend: Yeah I saw it was slightly aggressive (Either is starting to realize it or at last admitting it now that I am fully aware of how I was coming across. I also used indicators to show what words were aggressive to help illustrate my point. This is showing Iām much more awake now :)b)
Gotta use those neutral tactics or no one will feel comfortable just reading your idea and instead, will constantly look for a place to intercept with aggression back, whether they agree or not, they're looking for ways to self-insert their aggression if you are also aggressive. I can't write something that doesn't somewhat support and uplift SEGA of America. Why? Because like I said, they literally have survived EVERYTHING and have stuck around. Without them, there wouldn't be an American branch and the money issue would have ended SEGA. Some might say, "But they've done so much harm than good! Why is the money thing such a thing to be praised for?" But it's huge, it's so big, it kinda does offset the wrongs. (Now Iām doing the healthy thing, doubling back and mentioning the good to try and recover. The damage may be done, but she did recommend some videos for me and was polite, so Iām just trying to smooth things over and leave on aĀ āwrapped upā conclusion. But... I should have just left it there in all honesty xD Some things you canāt double-back and correct lol) America is a great business-influenced mindset. None of us would be fans of Sonic without them.
(Friend continues to agree but realizes I may slip into ranting again. She just asks if I can watch the videos.)
America does have it's advantages in some fields and areas, but their biggest most redeeming quality is that they saved SEGA which gave us our biggest love and obsession: Sonic.Ā Now, my usage in that writing was still off neutral, but combined with the slightly aggressive statements, made a GREAT contrast. It's still slightly praising
Friend: And they stopped Japan from giving him a human girlfriend right away.
Me: Exactly.
Friend: I will always thank them for that. (Sheās still a sweetheart, working herself into the conversation so it stays healthy. lol Such amazing follow-ups too!)
So although I don't like what's happening, I'm also grateful... to a degree lol We need SEGA of America, which is why I think Japan just ignores them now lolol they know they owe them a lot.Ā
(Friend mentions videos and as I go to save them to myĀ āwatch laterā sees that one of them is about Nintendo.)
Yeeeahhh I've noticed that Nintendo is starting to trail into 'cash grab' tactics and that's sickening (MORE AGGRESSIVE WORDING??? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED YOUR LESSON CHILD?! It takes time to fully wake up lolol) cause before, I literally thought, "Nintendo can do no wrong" their marketing was ON POINT! but the stuff they said about Peach and now... I think new, unprofessional blood (like SEGA) has entered Nintendo and the older guys are either 'training' or 'retired to other ventures'. Nintendo is having it's own 'we used to not be prideful but now we're getting a little too pompous (Another aggressive wording... This can easily trigger people to comment with further aggression either against you or for you, but no aggression is the ideal. Which is continuing to show my lack of remaining consciousĀ lol) about ourselves' and they're starting to act like Disney before their big crash.Ā Disney also had 'limited time offers' with their VHS movies.Ā Now, Nintendo is doing that. They'll make money, but at what cost? When you lose your costumer's trust...
Friend: And yeah the 35th Mario thing immediately reminded me of the Disney vault
Me: Yep.Ā I'm worried for Nintendo. Don't get me wrong! Disney is really good with money grabs, but they... they also act high and mighty (More aggressive statements, wake up, darn it!!!) and their fanbase literally calls them 'an empire' so the fan-trust is gone. That makes you 'lame/outdated' and fans begin to look for 'what's cool?' instead.
(Friend is now re-realizing Iām āin and outā so is trying to use a effective avoidance tactic by asking about different things to help my ranting fully stop.)
Sorry,Ā I'm tired, I get on these rants and I don't mean too. (Trying to shake myself awake again.) I'm sorry.
So we returned to a healthy conversation, but I hope this interesting insight has revealed how to and what not to do about Aggressive Writing. Always stick to Neutral writing if you can, putting in a compelling counter-argument. In this aggressive writing demo, you saw that I tried to cover up my follies by saying counter-praise, but praise writing can be just as bad as aggressive writing. Passive writing can sometimes be annoying (aggressive word choice) too if you come off as disinterested or uncaring, which can still result in negative comments coming at you, or someone overly praising in their writings.
This has been all Iām showing you cause itās kinda embarrassing ^^; but I hope it helps you in whatĀ ānot to doā while writing your ideas out :)b
I Am SorryĀ By: @persephoneisagoddess (aka Mac L.)
Note: Um, hi. So this is kind of something that I wrote because I cannot draw really that well so I vent in other forms. This is one of them. If anyone sees this please let me know and let me know if you like it or if you want to throw me down the toilet!Ā
We live in a world where we must be put in a box.Ā
Boxes are dark, I donāt like them because after some time I feel congested.Ā
Please donāt make me go back in there when I just got out.Ā
But they forced me back with words of hate and stones of stereotypes.Ā
They told me to pick a career, but do something you love causeā you wonāt be able to get back out.Ā
I shout to them,Ā āTell the ambassadors of society that they were wrong! To watch me and I will be the outlier!ā
I love a thousand things and will love a possibly thousand or more before the gates of hell open for me.
Mom, I am sorry that I was not the one to get the right things.Ā
I was on the other side of the store and then did not double-check the cart even though the man is over half my age.Ā
I make mistakes sometimes even though I am still going through the pages.Ā
Please forgive me, but all of this hate and things that you are bring upon me are starting to hurt a little too much.Ā
Dad, I am sorry that I was not born a boy and that out legacy of our last name shall now carry on.Ā
I tried my best to be the kid that you always wanted.Ā
But mom told me about the fire-truck onesie that you got when you first started to try to bring into another life.Ā
I think they have been donated to the womenās shelter or they were the ones that I found in the back of the closet not too long ago.Ā
I am sorry to the ones that have tried and failed to mold me into what is considered right
Mom, I will try to do better
Dad, our legacy will still carry on
For all of those that are looking for peace, there is an end to the suffering that you are feeling and you are not alone.Ā
I try to please and bring pride but still she defends my attackers.
She called me crazy for years just to crumble at the eyes of a professional.
She says she knows me like the back of her hand and it hurts because I want her to be able to. But for now she tells and scorns. Now she pushes away and orders.
I try and try and try but it is never enough. I suppose I might not be trying any more.
I was once excellent, a star but now I have lost all my gases and burned away.
Something in my atmosphere shifted causing an imbalance that has never quite been mended.
I grieve the person I could've been had someone been patient enough to help mend me.
For now I sit and simmer until I bubble over and I pray I'll find a way to deal with it soon
For now I stay quiet until I scream and scold like my mother.
I pray that I'm not the problem
That once I leave all will be well but even if it isn't me there are still often scars left after one is burned
I wish my mother would love me in the way a mother is supposed to. I think she does love me but she herself might not know how a mother expresses love. I am scared I do not know how a mother expresses love.
Time, I hope, will be a salve on my aching skin
That it will cool the burn and harden the lava into stone
But another part of me wishes to find a place where I can bring a blaze
Itās definitely not lore accurate but I was ranting writing.
Satoru and Suguru had both mourned Riko, they werenāt all close but it was really just the last straw for the both of them.
While Suguru was still in town before he disappeared, Satoru told him to follow him to the elders. He also requested he stay close with one of his stronger curses in case this didnāt work.
Suguru agreed, the darkness in his eyes much more than it had been a few days ago. Before Toji murdered Riko and before Satoru learned hollow purple.
They were currently in place as Satoru stormed into where the elders resided, he made sure to have an act up at first as if he was coming in like normal. The facade was quickly over when they opened their hateful mouths, they didnāt know about hollow purple but he set it off in the middle of the room, where he was farther from it.
Due to the fact he was pissed it did plenty of damage and even took out a bit of the building, he made his way out to Suguru after insuring there wasnāt anyone else to take care of. āLetās go Suguru, somewhere far away from here.ā And for once Suguru didnāt disagree, he just started walking and Satoru followed.
A couple years later, Satoru and Suguru had taken in Megumi, Mimiko, and Nanako. They took care of them all as well as possible and with Suguruās cult influence it wasnāt that hard.
Satoru still took care of Tsumiki as well, even switching with her often through the week or biweekly depending on schedules.
The sorcerer world was unchanged aside from the fact that Satoru was a wanted criminal of sorts but no one dared to go after him, they knew theyād end up much like the elders if they dared to.
Megumi had brought Yuji in and it didnāt take much for Satoru to be ready to protect him too, since Yuji was important to Megumi that meant he was important to Satoru.
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So I am researching herbal remedies cuz my body is fucked and my liver can only take so much. So I was reading this book called An Index of Medical Herbs and Their Uses by Harold Ward (no not that Harold Ward, he didn't fight in pearl Harbor he's just a herbalist). And I was wondering when it was published. I went into it thinking it was modern but then some flags were raised. For example: "The Famous "chamomile tea" is taken for nervous and bilious headache, as an aid to digestion, and for hysterical tendencies in women" and I was like woah what.!?!?!?? And then I read "influenza and feverish conditions generally, for which the purpose is very successfully used by the American šššš§š¤ššØ" ššš¼š! I'm probably the whitest person you can find this side of the Mississippi and it is 2025! I was just like "omg is he allowed to say that?!?!" Turns out he was. Because this book was published in 1936. I'm reading a 90 year old book. It's helpful but I hope it doesn't start talking about female hysteria again or how the American black community couldn't afford or were denied healthcare during the deadly influenza epidemic in the 1920s. I suppose I will let you know if these work cuz now I am indeed a bit worried.