#ranor

I was doing some research for a thing I’m writing (the first OS for Pages). Merely, I was looking for the name of a SWU fruit because, you know, I wanted to keep things real and canon.

Can’t write about strawberries in space, can I? Who would know what the hell a strawberry is inside First Order?

Yes, there’s Camby Berries, but I wanted something different. Or at least to look for something different, before making the final choice. Range, options. I like having options.

So, Google it is.

I take a look at the first results, and Wookiepedia comes to the rescue as usual.

Uh, what is Varos? What does it look like?

Sounds tasty. Let’s take a look.

I click on it.

Pardon, I might be looking for the what?

So, how did it happen?

Why did a Sith call himself like a fruit?

What is Varos used for? Something ritual?

That’s— okay.

Okay.

An Empire Era Sith Lord named himself after a fruit used to distill an alcoholic beverage.

What kind of beverage is it? ...Is it an ancient recipe? For some dark Force-ritual?

An Empire Era Sith Lord named himself after a fruit used to distill some sort of variation of space tequila/vodka.

So that’s how it happened.

During a night out.

Ranor: My faithful apprentice, tell me. What is your Sith name going to be?

Varos, under his breath: uh idk what would be cool, oh Sith Hells why am I so bad at this everyone knows what name to pick whyyyy my head spins—

Ranor: So? Has the alcohol already gotten to your head? This is a night of celebration!

Varos: *looks at the Tihaar bottle in front of him, the label says “made with real Varos fruits from Mandalore! Real taste, real hit!”*

Varos:

Varos: I— uh. Varos. Varos, yes. Darth Varos would sound cool, right?

Ranor, who’s evidently just as drunk as him: Sure kid, sounds great. Real threatening. Bottoms up!

And this is the end of the tale of the Sith Lord who basically called himself...