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Salixa: Do you guys think that Maudie and the Long Patrol are going to go through our stuff? Gorath: Why, what are you afraid of, that they'll look through your dream journal? Salixa: No, I- Rangval: Are you running a sweatshop back there for skirts that look like curtains? Salixa: Well, actually- Orkwil: What, did you steal a kiss and hide it in an envelope? Salixa: I HAVE A BAG OF METH IN MY CLOSET! Gorath, Rangval & Orkwil: *stunned silence*
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Rangval: You disgust me.
Maudie, eating a KitKat sideways: I realize this and do not care.
Rangval: Feels like you're being a little harsh. Maudie: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh. I'll turn it up.
Maudie: This is bothering me.
Rangval: Well, we are digging up a corpse.
Maudie: No, not that. That's pretty par for the course, actually.
Maudie: I was talking about your outfit.
Rangval: Tell me your wildest fantasy.
Maudie: I’m on Wheel of Fortune and I spin it so hard it lights on fire.
Rangval: I meant like—
Maudie: Everyone claps.
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Maudie: Change is inedible.
Rangval: Don’t you mean inevitable?
Maudie *spits out a bunch of pennies*: I did not.
Rangval: He hit us, we hit him back… harder. That’s the Mossflower way.
Orkwil: So, you mean we destroy his army?
Maudie: No, Orkwil, he means we rub ourselves with sweet mustard and sing show tunes.
Maudie: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting me banned from an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.
Rangval: Why’d you get banned?
Maudie: Touched the rat.
Rangval: What rat?
Maudie: Chunky Cheese.
