#ralbert headcanons

Be happy diva 👅

Ts was so hard for me as a violent sprace shipper 💔

Ralbert Hcs

(Modern)

- Often, on dates, they'll go rollerskating or ice skating because Race loves physical activities. Race is immediately great at it, but the entire way round, Albert clings onto the rails for dear life. He falls about 16 times, and Race just laughs at him until he feels bad and lets him pick where they go to eat after

- Race always orders way too much for him to actually finish and is a really slow eater, Albert is a really fast eater. So,he wolfs it down in minutes and stares at Race like a puppy until Race says he's done and gives him the leftovers

- Music is a big part of their love language. In the car, they will blast music and sing so loud that people on the street can hear all of it

- When Race gets overly exited, he starts climbing up Albert like a climbing frame, Albert just let's it happen until he wears himself out

- Race once jokingly told him that he looks like Alex dougherty and he's never been forgiven

- Albert takes photography, and all of his film is wasted on pictures of Race

- they're the type to go into the kitchen for a midnight snack and start uncontrollably laughing for no reason, and they panic thinking they're making people up (they are)

- At school, Race sits behind Albert in most lessons, he just sits there lobbing paper balls at him and then giggling to himself

- When they're arguing with somebody together, they expect Albert to be the one they should be afraid off because he's so much bigger than Race, wrong, Race is the one going after you whilst Albert's trying to calm him down

- they go to the aquarium just to point at ugly ahh fish and say "look its you"

originally done by the lovely @we-are-inevitable you can find the original concept here

part two to this series can be found here

and my valentine’s hcs can be found here

ok so let’s set up the basics first

albert is a faceless gaming youtuber known for his voice (thing corpse husband but instead of how deep it is it’s cause of his distinct accent)

race is a vlogger/lifestyle youtuber who makes chaotic content that shows off his bubbly personality p e r f e c t l y

they also happen to be roommates (and boyfriends, but that’s not public just yet)

at first, their fan bases were pretty separate, as their content didn’t really mix

until one day race posts a video of him trying on outfits picked by his subscribers through twitter (video inspo by phil lester here)

and he brings in his vague, never-shown-on-camera roommate that he mentions occasionally in vlogs to help him

enter, albert dasilva (aka chaotic red on twitch/youtube)

now albert’s voice is distinct, especially to his fans considering it’s the only thing about him that’s consistently in videos

so IMMEDIATELY the comments are full of “holy shit is chaotic red race’s mysterious roommate omg-“

the whole video is full of playful banter and fond looks from race to behind the camera, and waY MORE LAUGHTER FROM RED THAN ANY OF HIS SUBS ARE USED TO

it’s basically a goldmine for albert’s fans cause it’s the first time he’s out of his usual element of video games

and about 2 days after the video drops, albert tags race on his public twitter saying their going live on twitch to play among us with their friends

(friends meaning all of the other newsies, who in this au are also youtubers)

THIS TURNS OUT TO BE ANOTHER ABSOLUTE GOLDMINE FOR THE FANS

apparently, the thing about al’s laughter in race’s video wasn’t “red being out of his element,” it was the fact race was there making him laugh

cause this stream is the happiest they’ve EVER heard red be (albert usually plays horror games and among us, there’s just a lot of yelling and swearing and a bit of banter in usual gameplays)

he’s joking with everyone more than normal, you can practically HEAR him smiling, and race is making him genuinely laugh every couple minutes with his stupid one liners and general confusion at “how to video game”

albert is really lucky his alias comes from the face race nicknamed him “red” in middle school, cause race manages not to accidentally call him by his real name at any point during the stream

it’s actually al who makes a mistake

now it’s not an “i accidentally revealed my secret identity mistake live on stream” mistake-

no, it’s almost w o r s e

he calls race babe, live on stream to thousands of people, more than once

twitter absolutely looses its shit, as expected

race may or may not have sat on their living room floor laughing his ass off at what he can see of albert’s distressed expression as he lays face down on their couch

yeah let’s just say the next week he’s in race’s vlog again (kinda? like his voice is in it but he’s still not ready for his face to be all over everywhere just yet)

now albert’s fans have a vague description of him, the basics of sorts, and the voice to guess his general region of origin

they know he’s stockier and muscly, got red hair and hazel eyes, covered in freckles (he may or may not get compared to a weasley or two on twitter more consistently then he cares to admit)

but racer’s fans know A LOT about him, he’s a lifestyle vlogger ffs, it’s his j o b to share his life

so long story short there’s a segment in race’s vlog where they’re just like “yeah we’re dating and have been since junior year of highschool it be like that lmao”

and the rest of the vlog is just them doing domestic shit? like albert’s face is off camera but for the first time you can s e e him on camera

they bake cookies at one point and you can see his trademark necklace race got him for graduation when he was 18, his troye sivan concert tee that he’s cut the sleeves off of, the freckles all over and the fact he wears stacks of bracelets on both wrists and his hands are covered in rings

you can see the scar on his shoulder from when he jumped the fence sneaking out to hang with race freshman year, and the semicolon tattoo on the side of his right hand

you can see his personality, not just hear it, and believe me he’s got SO MUCH OF IT

he’s funny and witty and he teases race like nobody else does and his fans can finally see the way he leans back and laughs with his whole body when race does something stupid

all of their fans are slowly combining, cause race shows up on the chaotic red gaming channel more often from dramatically popular request (and the fact albert loves making fun of him for having no idea what he’s doing

and albert is in almost all of race’s vlogs at least once, because he’s a massive part of race’s life and he’s finally allowed to share that piece that was missing

the amount of fan content made for the two of them is ASTRONOMICAL (think jenna marbles and julien solomita levels of fan content, it’s two massive fanbases combining and theyre so hyped up)

they’re just happy vibing together on youtube once they finally start posting together, and absolutely nobody’s complaining about it

and if they have to do a little extra editing cause of kisses on camera or impromptu slow dances in the kitchen or race accidentally saying albie, then it’s worth the extra work for how happy everyone is

lmk if i should do more of this cause i love this au more than anything

also seriously go follow jac their blog is one of my favorites and everything they write is pure gold

so i was working on some actual requests when my friend sent me this house hunters meme and i had the best idea i’ve ever had in my entire life so here you go, i regret nothing

so (modern) race and albert have this tradition

i don’t care if you interpret this romantically or platonically, but it’s canon either way

so because they both work in the theater/dance/etc industry, they go to a lot of mixers and events to meet a lot of people

but they’ve also been best friends since they were about eight so that pretty much means they’re down to just fuck with anyone at any time

so they bring back a game they invented a few years into college when they were looking at apartments to move into together

basically they do this thing where they introduce themselves and each other to people that don’t know who they are and make up the most ridiculous jobs that they can possibly think of and convince the person that, yes, that is definitely what they do for a living

it’s like those memes about the show house hunters

but these real-life professional idiots do it to people they work with

for example;

race: hello, this is my friend albert, he’s a freelance hamster trainer

fancy stranger: for...for this musical?

albert: obviously, how else would they train the hamsters for the show? 

race: it’s very important. they’re hard to spot, but you’re really missing out on a fantastic part of the show if you miss it.

or one time at a mixer for albert’s choreography studio

albert: hello susan, i don’t believe you’ve met my friend tony, he’s been giving slide whistle lessons here since i first opened

dance mom susan: slide...whistles? at a dance studio?

race: obviously, they write all their own music here. who else is going to teach the in-house band to play the slide whistle?

albert: it’s very difficult, susan, he’s been teaching them for almost four years now

and who could forget the mingling at jack and davey’s wedding? what better time to pull pranks than as groomsmen trying to ruin good impressions with the new inlaws

race: hi, yes, i’m the brother of the groom, jack. my name’s antonio, nice to meet you.

great grandma jacobs: nice to meet you, dearie! my, you’re in great shape, what do you do for a living?

albert: oh, he sells hand-woven shoelaces on etsy. it’s quite the arm workout.

race: thank you for noticing! i just started using these new patterns and they’re quite exhausting!

great grandma jacobs: oh my...well...that’s just great darling, i should, uh, probably get going now! 

but at the end of the night,,that’s when the stories really get wild. here’s some things drunk race and albert have gotten away with claiming to do for a living:

race:

stay-at-home astronaut

professional fish therapist

glues leave to trees in the spring for a living

door-to-door pet stiletto salesman

vintage water curator

albert: 

freelance rock climber

sells umbrella insurance from home

makes monogrammed sunglass cases on ebay

part-time harmonica tuner

vegan soap tester

it’s safe to say there are about a dozen people in the entire world that actually know what race and albert do for a living

( ralbert ) + ( platonic )

warnings: none

————————————————————————

sleep was hard for race

even when he was completely exhausted it still took him forever to fall asleep

race needs affection

all the other newsies in the lodging house either had realtionships and someone to sleep with or didn’t wanna do it

so race spends most of his nights clinging to himself and trying to keep his eyes closed

“try cuddling ya pillow“ “try holding your blanket“ “try meditating before ya sleep“

he’s heard it all before

none of it works

he tosses and turns every night causing the bunk bed to shake

every night albert hits the underneath of race’s bed telling him to stop moving and sleep already

every night race asks albert to cuddle him until he falls alseep

and only some of the nights albert agrees just to get him to stop

race knows the only way to get him to sleep is to hold someone , that’s just who he is

albert breaks down and decided to steal race a stuffed animal for him to cuddle instead

one day when race comes home from selling he sees a small brown stuffed bear with a red bow around its neck

when he picks it up, he smiles harder than he has in a while and sees albert smiling too

so then every night race cuddled that little bear and slept like a baby

Albert falls asleep sitting up on the sofa a lot with his hat pulled down over his eyes and since Race can’t carry him he pulls him up by his arms and wraps them around his neck and walks him to bed

Albert sleeps on the right side of the bed, and Race sleeps on the left.

Race moves around in his sleep though so its more like the middle.

And because he moves, he’s a blanket hog.

Albert keeps a spare blanket on the floor next to him so if he wakes up with no blanket, he has one right there.

They both love pillows and blankets so there is an unnecessary amount of them on their bed.

And their room is always cold so they can use a pile of blankets every night, even in summer.

Race is a morning person.

And Albert is NOT.

Its a struggle to get him out of bed on time.

Race will try anything to get him to get up.

Sweet talk, dirty talk, bargaining, rewards, even flat out complaining.

NOTHING WORKS

So one day Race just sighs and whispers to his boyfriend

“Fine, stay in bed. I'm taking a shower and I wanted you to join me.”

Al immediately is getting out of bed while muttering “I'm up. alright, I'm up!”

Race just smirks because he knew it would work.

Albert is a good cook so he makes breakfast.

Race would eat a bowl of cereal every meal, every day if he could. 

Our ginger boy knows what he’s doing though.

They have waffles, pancakes, French toast, omelets, breakfast pizza, or something similar every morning for breakfast.

requested by @gladerindistress

this one is so funny to me omg

ok

so y’all know this is THE most chaotic set of idiots to ever even

that translates to building legos very well but actually getting anything done very poorly

i should probably give you some context

so for racer’s 17th birthday, albert has the brilliant idea to buy his boy one of those really fancy lego sets with like,,, hundreds of pieces and moving parts and a massive booklet of instructions

so he saves up money and buys him the Trafalgar Square and New York City sets

and race is SO HYPE to actually build them but he also wants to spend time with albie

therefore lego bonding time ensues

except idk if y’all knew this about these two

but they seem to have a vendetta against following the rules and listening to instructions

so despite the fact both of the step by step instruction booklets look like those fancy novels davey reads “for fun” or whatever

they decide they can do it w i t h o u t the instructions

also, because they’re beacons of utter c h a o s

they decide to dump BOTH MODEL SETS INTO A BOWL AND GO FROM THERE

like i said, chaotic idiots in love

so as you’ve all probably guessed, this game plan goes over very poorly (who woulda thunk it, maybe the instructions have a purpose)

“racer, stop stealing all my pieces i can’t get shit done over here”

“al that CLEARLY goes on the empire state building i have no idea what you’re talking about”

“t h a t s supposed to be the empire state building? it looks like a pile of random gray blobs-“

“oh fuck off like you could do better”

you know, that general vibe

so after creating a whole lot of piles of nothing random half finished structures, they decide that “ok, maybe the instructions might be useful”

then they put on the office for background noise rather than their incessant bickering and settle in with their massive booklets to a c t u a l l y get some of this shit done

and if they stay up til 4am building legos and making heart eyes at each other’s focused faces, well then that’s nobody’s business but their’s

they also take a break in the middle of building to stand in front of the tv and quote jim’s entire “boom, roasted” scene cause it’s their favorite