#rage episodes

sorry for my disappearance. i feel like i should apologize, even though i know not many people actually follow this blog or anything. its a place for me to vent, document my illness, and talk about my special interests. 

my relationship of nearly four years suddenly broke off, so my partner has been trying to move out. my bpd was really triggered and my fear of abandonment led to constant panic attacks. i had a very strong episode that lasted nearly 40 hours with flare ups in just about everything thats “wrong” with me. i had a dissociative episode that had me extremely detached from reality for just as long. it’s been incredibly difficult to maintain functioning at this time, but since i’ve come out of the episode, while im still struggling, a feel a lot better. like a lot better.

i attribute that to weed. it helped me so much during this time and helping me come out of spirals. it has great physical benefits but i dont often talk about the benefits for my psychiatric conditions as well. it has really helped me come out of the state i was in, take moments to breathe, stops me from self harming or binge drinking or puking, and helps me eat when i haven’t had appetite. i love this drug, it’s the best medication to ever happen to me.

The reason why the anger outbursts happen, is that the Executive Function which shuts down the external expression of a lot of our feelings and emotions hasn't matured or been taught how to handle the load experienced during times of stress. So those with ADHD act out. As an adult, this may still occur as it's become more of a habit, then nature. Supposedly, though there is not evidence to support either, the Executive Function takes longer to mature. It should be fully matured by 30. 

As to what to do in these situations, if you choose to keep this employee, then you'll have to play the role of his Executive Function. This means watching for those High Stress Moments and helping him walk through them. Though, be very specific and assertive on what is considered proper and inappropriate behavior. That way, he knows exactly what will happen when he crosses the line into bad behavior. This will help him Executive Function realize that it's not alone, and that by not being alone, will be able to learn how to control the stress levels better, and express them in different / more productive ways.

In addition, by watching for High Stress Levels, you will be able to defuse them well before your employee actually enters them. Not that you have to keep them out of specific meetings, which will feed their Rejection Phobia (RSD), but you can have a talk about how stressful the meeting could become and that it is ok for the employee to leave and move to a safe room where they can rage, until they are calmed down.

Concerning the rage, note that unlike you, where you are able to identify the specific things that are triggering your emotions, those with ADHD have not been trained to do this.  If they have a rage room, then give them either a white board or a notepad to write down all the things with the project / conversation that are pushing their emotions.  This list will be useful to them and you, not just outlining what’s triggering them, but what they are seeing with the project or people involved with the project.  

Every task in a project has 5 items associated with it:

Risks

Dependencies

Unknowns

Assumptions

Issues

In most cases, the list of issues that they have written down, will fit nicely into one of these points.