We are over 100k folks! This little fic has ~11 chapters to go (13+, including some little bonus chapters I plan on doing).
WHAT'S IT GOT?
ꪜ Millennial Humor!
ꪜ Slapstick Comedy!
ꪜ Multiverse shenanigans!
ꪜ Ridiculous Pop Culture References!
ꪜ The author's poorly disguised coping mechanism!
Come on down if you want to read what happens when Astarion gets more than he bargained for when the universe dropped Gale of Waterdeep on his front porch <3
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| I decided to make a new little intro since I dabble in a little bit of | |everything now. So if you like horny posting, shit posting, and the| |occasional attempt at something serious, then come on down! |
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|￣￣￣￣￣￣| 🥕 31 She/Her & Mom
| About Me | 🥕 Full time shit poster
|＿＿＿＿＿ _ | 🥕 Sometimes a writer
(\__/) || 🥕Sometimes an artist
(^ㅅ^) || 🥕Gale Dekarios Lover
/ づ 🥕 Bunny Lover
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More About Rabbit below the cut if you are so curious...
I'll post several facts, and one lie. See if you can spot the lie!
My username "parkouringrabbit" comes from a pet rabbit I had that would binky off walls!
I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in my early 20s, and have been managing it well.
I can speak a little bit of Vietnamese.
I've never been on a plane (gasp).
I have a yeehaw accent.
Once I infiltrated a ship which was housing the emporer of the local region. The bounty upon his head was high, and my fingers tingled to secure it. When I confronted the emperor, he plead for his life. His dying wish was for me to kill the person who put a hit on his head. I finished my task and collected my bounty. After careful deliberation, I fulfilled the Emporer's request free of charge. Now I am 10,000 gold richer and filled with the satisfaction of completing two bounties.
@miradelletarot , @pretty-sick-actually , and I'm pretty sure @nivasichakano tagged me a while ago, and I'm so sorry I had taken a little break from writing. BUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING NOW! (Thank you all 🥹)
Yes, I am working on The Wizard Distribution System <3 I'll put this below the cut for major spoilers and also a CW for dark humor.
Needless to say, the steel slab bunk beds did not make for good sleeping. That and, as it turned out, being transported to foreign universes and nearly escaping death on a couple of occasions makes someone a little on edge. Somewhere deep, there was a mental breakdown just dying to get out. Astarion decided to keep that little nugget tucked away for the time being.
He stared at the slab just above him, the mini holes throughout it. He wondered what it would be like if it fell— if he’d squish out of the holes like a demented playdough set for Jeffrey Dahmer.
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I actually was working on something new today to give myself a break from my current wips. This fic probably won't be released anytime soon, but here is a taste!
War, blood, demons, and famine — all terrifying in their own right — but very much tangible. You can experience war within your body, taste the blood upon your tongue, perceive the demons, and anguish in the famine. It’s not these things that unnerve Gale the most.
Gale isn’t frightened of the things that he can make sense of.
Piercing red eyes cut through the darkness of his room — disembodied and simply watching. Bound by his own body in a state between sleep and wake, Gale cannot make sense of the gleam of lips curled over elongated canines — much too large to be that of a human. Of the dark rumble of a chuckle emanating from the darkness. Of the figure vanishing as soon as he finds his ability to move again.
Gale isn’t frightened of the things he can make sense of, no. He is frightened of the things that are void of both logic and unexplainable in the volumes of tomes that line his shelves.
This chapter of WDS is completed, but I have kept going back and changing it and I haven't been quite happy with it yet so I took a break! Have a little snippet :)
They’d made it back to a ragged-looking camp, a party of others hovering around, staring dumbfoundedly as identical copies of each other filtered in. It looked like one of those twin conventions they held in the wonderful state of Ohio— if the twins in question were born from some weird fantasy cloning machine. Not that Astarion put it past the people of Ohio to do such a thing.
That wasn’t the weird part, though.
The weird part was standing in front of his mirror image, and his copy not having a clue who he was. It seemed no one wanted to talk about it. Jen was too caught up with her own copy— the second copy they’ve met — and apparently Wyll, who had horns and even bigger Boy Scout energy.
He directed his attention back to the pointed-eared, silvery-white haired version of himself as he stared at him with disinterest.
“You really don’t recognize me?”
His copy peered over his wine glass, looking bothered that he even dared to speak to him.
“Should I? Apologies darling, I don’t remember every dalliance I’ve encountered, though…” He eyed Astarion, giving him a once-over. “Seems I did have good taste. You’re lucky to be alive. Very few survive an encounter with me.”
Astarion sputtered, giving him an incredulous look. “Dalliance…? Oh god.” He huffed a laugh. “That’s like masturbation, but with extra steps.”
If you wanna :)
@tabitha42 @chaoswritesthemultiverse @itinerantginger-blog
