#rabbit rant

There is a part of me that recognizes itself in HABIT. Specifically in the way he is other. Nonhuman.

I’m not saying that I believe that if someone were to sample my DNA and send it off to a lab for analysis that it would come up as something other than human. The body is human. I know that it is. However, I also know that the body isn’t mine. It’s never felt like mine. It’s not a vessel I own or control. It’s not a home. It's a prison. A cage made from flesh. I feel like I lost my sense of self the moment this thing was born.

I have no core beliefs about me, who I am or what I was before I was confined to the body I am in. I have no real solid memories from my life before. I have no sense of home. No comfort. All I have is little fragments. Vague impressions. The innate sense that this is all wrong. The secret knowledge that I am an outsider disguised as an insider. The sense of being trapped where I’m not supposed to be. And I suppose that is why I love him and envy him all at once.

HABIT has the freedom that I don't. He is free to be himself. He can switch bodies whenever it suits him. He has switched bodies countless times before. He switched and switched until he found Evan… his perfect vessel.

Is it wrong that I want that for myself? To be myself? To find a home? But what does that even mean for me? What am I?

Like what is the trans movement about suffering now? Not being proud of who you are? Is the trans movement slogan now "prove to others how painful it is to be trans and if you don't experience hating your body every waking moment you aren't trans"??

No it's about learning to love yourself and be who you want to be. the most gross thing is what dysphoria you deem to be valid and if they don't experience specifically genital and chest dysphoria they aren't trans. Like being scared to explore masculine/feminine things because it'll invalidate your gender or voice dysphoria or social dysphoria like hanging with more dudes as a trans girl or more girls as a trans man.

Also you saying trans men wearing dresses makes him a "transtrender" and trans women wearing boyish clothes makes her a "faker" is just as bad.

Not only that but almost all of you believe nb people don't exist and pull out biology, the same thing that's been used on you over and over again to put them down and say "they're faking it"

It's like seeing someone in a wheelchair stand up for a brief second then scream about how they're faking it because god forbid they're supposed to be absolutely crippled and unable to walk and when they show an ounce of what your ideas don't fit you scream at them. Or someone who decorates their wheelchair and gets a mermaid blanket and doesn't mind being in a wheelchair you holler about how they're supposed to be miserable and hate the fact they can't walk like everyone else. Or when someone who has depression copes by going out on walks and doing things and you laugh it off and say "you aren't really depressed"

That's how stupid you sound, that's literally what you transmeds and truscum sound like. You don't know the person personally but God forbid they don't fit your cookie cutter standard of how they're supposed to be then they must be faking it for attention. You know this is coming from someone who DOES have dysphoria and how much you belittle your own COMMUNITY

You know some people say they have no dysphoria for literally thousands of different reasons and you narrowing it down to something that simple is fucking gross. Another thing is you suddenly believing that when someone gets hormones and what they want medically they suddenly are "cis passing" and treat them like they aren't trans because "they don't know what it's like to be trans anymore" is also fucking gross I stg.