Jan 10
i’m mentally preparing to leave. maybe i’ve given up. maybe i’m just trying to save myself. i carry conversations with you inside my mind, quietly hoping my absence might sting just a little bit. i imagine how it would be. what you would say. not because i want to hurt you. not because i want you to stop me. i struggle. i search for the right words — how to say it, how to hint at it, or whether i should say anything at all. if i’m really honest, i’m afraid you won’t feel anything at all. and i’ll finally understand how little i meant to you. i am someone who hasn’t yet learned how to stay silent where i have already said enough. and in the cemetery of my dreams, another stone will be placed.
