#queue machine

Sherlock: Well…

John: We’ve definitely…seen some.

Sherlock: …not excessively, of course.

John: It’s more like, we’ll get a link in a comment, we’ll go to this- what’s it called, Sherlock?

Sherlock: AO3, I believe.

John: Right, yeah, we’ll read a bit and if it’s not, like, explicit, then yeah, we’ll- er- yeah.

Sherlock: I don’t often indulge in-

John: Oh, shut up and tell them.

Sherlock: …Fine. The Maltese Falcon. Mycroft had me watch it when I was a boy to snap me out of my “unfortunate pirating phase.“ Sad to say that it worked.

John: He’s made me watch it six times. It’s bloody boring, it is.

Sherlock: Really? Well at least I don’t watch awful Bond films. How many are there? 8,000?

John: Best one, hands down, is Goldeneye.

Sherlock: Brosnan? I would have thought better of you. Statistically, with the gross earnings of each- the acting skills, however poor they may be…I’d prefer the Craig Bond. Or at least Connery.

Sherlock: Well- that’s a bit rude to ask a total stranger.

John: Yeah, that’s…erm…private. He does blush an awful lot, though.

Sherlock: John!

John: What? It’s true.

Sherlock: Some things are better off secrets.

John: It’s not really a secret…

Sherlock: John.

John: Hm.

Sherlock: …Well.

John: I’ve never heard that one before! That’s- er, clever- that’s actually…uh, really funny, yeah-

Sherlock: It reassures your sexuality, does it not?

John: Oh, shut up, you nutter.

Sherlock: I’m not the Holmosexual here, John. The internet does not lie.

John: Well, as I do most of the cooking around here-

Sherlock: -you can barely make tea properly-

John: -my mum taught me to make great chicken noodle soup.

Sherlock: Your mother taught you to make that? I suppose I thought it was boxed.

John: Well, it was the first thing that made me want to go into a field to take care of people, funny that.

Sherlock: I…see. Well, I’m quite good at most aspects of baking, as it is simply science. Cooking? Well…