#queue do queue

trying desperately to make myself funny again. here's something from product placement that i posted purely because idk what i'm doing with my life

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Carlos turns to his nightstand and flicks on the light, the room flooding with a soft glow that still seems far too bright and as he looks back towards TK, he sees his future husband’s arm whacking something on the other nightstand. He’s about to reach over and join in the rage swatting, before the room goes silent again and TK flops down on the bed with a groan.

“Babe,” he whines, rubbing his chest with his hand. “I think you like, reverse heimlich-ed me.”

Carlos blinks. “What?” he asks, apparently too confused to ask the obvious question about why their apartment has been filled with the sound of airhorns. If the entire building hasn’t been woken up yet, he’ll be surprised.

“You know,” TK continues, grabbing the pillow and shoving it over his face, muffling his voice. “The choking manoeuvre. It’s to help unblock your airway, but I think you smushed all my insides together with your arm instead.”

“Sorry, instinct,” Carlos breathes, looking at TK with wide eyes. “I thought there was an intruder or something— What was that?”

There’s a suspiciously long pause. “An alarm,” TK says. “Not an axe murderer, although you almost murdered me with your tricep—”

“An alarm?” Carlos squawks, sitting up straighter, eyes dropping to TK’s nightstand. “There were airhorns— TK, what is that?”

“What’s what?” TK asks, face still buried in the pillow.

“That giant…thing.”

“Funny,” TK says, his voice sounding a little strained, “I swear I left the vibrator in the drawer—”

“Not funny,” Carlos snipes, tugging the pillow from TK’s grip and exposing his face. He whines and squints through sleepy eyes at Carlos. 

“Baby, it’s so early—”

“TK,” Carlos warns. “Why are we up so early? What is that thing on your nightstand? Did you get it from the military?”

“The military?”

Carlos grits his teeth. “It sounds like it was designed to wake up an entire barracks.”

TK’s lips curl into a little frown. “I think I just put it on the wrong setting,” he explains. “It’s new.”

a little seven sentence sunday because I haven't participated in a while, although this is not seven sentences. thanks for continuing to tag me @alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @freneticfloetry @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses and @strandnreyes (im taking it as a tag, sorry) it's awesome even when I feel discouraged to know people are still thinking of me 💜

Carlos rolls his eyes and then, to TK’s dismay, tugs him along. “I think it’s a bad idea,” he explains, in response to TK’s noise of protest. “I don’t know if you’d be able to handle it.”

TK gapes, squeezing Carlos’ hand. “I wouldn’t be able to handle it?” he asks, a little shrilly. “I would definitely handle it. I’d handle it so well I’d probably end up—”

“Exactly,” Carlos interjects. “I’m not sure dry humping in the middle of a fair is really family-friendly.”

“Can’t believe the words ‘dry humping’ just came out of your mouth,” TK mutters, even though there’s something hot and glittery zipping down his spine and his mouth has gone dry at the mere thought of pressing himself up against Carlos.

“I took them straight from your mind, actually,” Carlos teases, then stops again. “TK, stop leading us towards the portable bathrooms. That’s disgusting.”

“You wouldn’t be the one on your knees,” TK grumbles.

Have some WIP just because I thought it was dumb and needed to go on Tumblr. Also, @heartstringsduet tagged me in something and I haven't been doing the snippet games because it takes me like 700 years to decide on something but I didn't hate this so YEAH.

TK sighs deeply, apparently satisfied as he wriggles around a little more before going still. “Can’t believe you don’t want me,” he says petulantly. Carlos rolls his eyes. “This might be surprising,” he replies in a low voice, “but having sex with you while you’re unconscious doesn’t really do it for me.”  “Not unconscious,” TK grumbles. “I’m talking, aren’t I?” “With your eyes closed,” Carlos points out. “Plus, if memory serves me correctly, it was you who fell asleep mid-blowjob one time, remember?”  “That was one time,” TK protests, admittedly sounding much more awake as time goes on. “And I’d just gotten off that overnight shift with twenty million calls and the bed was so warm and comfortable and we’d just had a shower and—” “Still fell asleep,” Carlos interjects wryly. “Way to make a guy feel boring.”

Thanks for the self-rec asks! I'm feeling very...not into my own ao3 right now so INSTEAD i'm going to send the asks on and tell you five things (in no particular order) that i've been thinking about this week <3

ONE: Swimming - I NEED TO FINISH THE SWIM FIC AKA THIS AMAZING WORK BY @carlos-in-glasses. I started reading and then I went overseas and I felt like I didn't have the time to go through and scream line by line and I'm so excited to dive back in (hehe see what I did there) now that it's finished!

TWO: State parks and secret service agents - not necessarily together, but I've been lowkey dreaming of obtaining my own slightly insane-looking garden gnome and a stock tank for a while thanks to the beautiful fic created by @iboatedhere (I don't have a pool and a stock tank seems like a good option right now). Also the secret service AU snippets are life giving (recent one here).

THREE: Guaranteeing nothing - screamed (literally) my way through the first fourteen chapters of Never a Guarantee and now I need to finish it!!!! @clottedcreamfudge and her writing make me so fucking feral in the best way and this fic is no exception. I had much fear about my sanity going into this because I knew it was going to drive me wild but my crops have been watered and I eagerly await completion of the arcs.

FOUR: Mythical things (aka. a dearly beloved universe) - to be fair, I'm not sure I ever stopped thinking about Jen's masterpiece - as if you were a mythical thing - because it lives rent free in my head (genuinely one of my favourite fics ever). I'm thinking about it a lot more now that @strandnreyes has put the idea of writing a sequel in my head (snippet is here). A re read is in my sights and I'm very excited about it! If you haven't read it, you absolutely have to.

FIVE: TK and Carlos getting unprofessional - @rmd-writes and I have been playing around in this document for ages, co-writing something so silly it borders on crack and it's the most fun I've had writing fic in ages (thank you to @celeritas2997 for putting up with us lol). Everything I do by myself seems so hard right now but this feels so easy and (I think it's fair to say) it's almost done? 1 and a little bit more chapters? I'm EXCITE. You can read the most recent snippets of the fic colloquially known as "(un)profesh" here (rmd) and here (me).